40+ Poker Jokes That Are Sure To Crack Even The Toughest Poker Face

Rajnandini Roychoudhury
Jan 30, 2024 By Rajnandini Roychoudhury
Originally Published on Jan 06, 2021
Edited by Monisha Kochhar
Poker game on table.
Age: 0-99
Read time: 7.5 Min

If you're into poker humor, you're going to love our assortment of the funniest poker jokes.

There are differing accounts related to the origins of poker. While some say that poker can be traced back to the Chinese Empire in the tenth century, others say there was a similar game in ancient Persia.

Some of the world's largest poker tournaments have tens of thousands of people in attendance and provide millions of dollars in cash rewards. It takes a lot of diligence, wit, and determination to be good at poker, especially when the stakes are insanely high. The biggest world tournament in poker is called the 'World Series of Poker' tournament, and it was first played in 1970. The winner of the tournament wins the title of the 'Poker Champion of the World' and is supposed to be the best player in the world. Other prestigious tournaments include the World Championship of Online Poker (WCOOP), the illustrious Triton Super High Roller Series (Triton Poker),  and the ultimate test of the World Poker Tour Championships (WPT).

The history of poker is closely intertwined with the genesis of commercial gambling, which began in the early 1800s. Poker is popularly played in many clubs, casinos, virtual tournaments, and private homes across the world, especially in the United States. Since poker is a card game that has entrenched itself in the foundation of American culture, you will find it being played in many online forums that have a large influx of American visitors.

If you're one for poker-based puns and card game puns, you're surely going to enjoy the deck of card jokes in this article. Those who love playing poker and have a poker table at home, are going to feel a flush of excitement when they see some relatable jokes about playing cards in this article!

If you would like to read other articles about puns and jokes, you can check out Jazz Puns and 30 Father's Day Puns So You Can Up Your Card Game This Year.

Funny Poker Jokes

People playing card game.

Do you have a poker table at home that only gets used when you have people over? Well, don't worry, there are many other great outlets for you aside from online poker tournaments, to put your poker knowledge to the test. These poker jokes are super silly and easy to use, and they can also be turned into the funniest puns on poker. These funny poker jokes will make you feel like you're holding the cards in any situation! Here is a list of some funny jokes about poker!

1. Why was a vampire so nervous about the poker game he was playing? His adversary was raising the stake.

2. Why should one never play poker in the jungle? It's filled with too many cheetahs.

3. What happened when a couple decided to use a deck of Uno cards to play their next game of poker? They found out that it was a complete game-changer.

4. Why did the gazelle not want to play poker with the big cat? He kept lion to him.

5. Why was the dog suspicious of the fact that the chicken had some tricks up his sleeve? He suspected there to be fowl play.

6. What animal always wins at a poker game? A bluffalo.

7. Why did the serious poker players all decide to play inside a tent? They wanted to play an in-tents game.

8. Why did a poker player decide against having a tattoo with words on his arms? He didn't want other people to read him like a book.

9. What's the worst part about playing origami poker? Having to fold.

10. Why is it such a big risk to play poker opposite an alligator? You might lose a hand.

11. Why did a man keep playing poker even though his wife threatened him with a divorce? He thought she was bluffing.

12. Why should you never play poker with a person who has a tattoo of Jim Carrey in 1994 on their arm? They've got an ace up their sleeve.

13. Why did everyone look at Gary weirdly when he started eating the chips? He was at a poker game.

14. Why did the shoemaker decide not to play poker with an extremely tall butcher? He felt that the steaks were a little too high.

15. What is a professional poker player's favorite snack? Salsa and poker chips.

16. What happened to the man who lost his best arm while playing poker and had to get a replacement arm? He was finding it hard to deal with.

17. Why did the freshwater fish's mother tell him not to go play poker with his friends in the sea? She said that there was something fishy about it.

18. Why won't you ever find a laundromat owner who's good at poker?  They only know how to fold.

19. What would Batman do if he was losing at Poker? He would summon the joker.

20. Why did the skeleton family never play poker at their family get together? Everyone could see through them and call their bluff.

21. What happened when the sink tried to play poker with the king of toilets? The toilet won because he had a royal flush.

22. What would you call a group of cows that plays poker at the top of the Empire States building? High steaks.

23. Why didn't the man in a shirt and shorts win at the best poker tournament this weekend? He wasn't suited for the game.

24. What happened when the poker player's wife scolded him for not keeping his closet clean? He told her that he'd never learned how to fold.

25. What furniture item is the worst poker player? Lawn chairs,  because they always fold.

26. Why should you never play poker with tarot cards? I once ended up playing poker with Tarot cards. I got lucky and got a full house and four people died.

Funny Card Jokes

These card game jokes will surely quench anyone's thirst for funny poker puns and the best playing card one-liners. People that are fond of playing poker or know poker players personally should relish these jokes about cards and playing poker! (P.s. if you're playing a card game, you should always check around to ensure that you're not surrounded by too many cheetahs!)

27. What doctor also specializes in card games? The cardiologist.

28. Who ended up winning the best dance competition out of all of the cards? The Queen and King of clubs reigned supreme.

29. Why was a woman upset when her husband gave her a deck of cards for her birthday? She had asked for something with a lot of diamonds.

30.  Why do pirates hate playing any card game? Someone always walks across the deck.

31. What happened when the spade card realized his wife had gone missing? He didn't know how to deal with loss.

32. Why did a man start kicking his new deck of playing cards? He had just bought a kick-starter pack.

33. What did the man say when his wife told him that Uno meant nothing to her? He told her it means one to him.

34. How is a lonely man's life like a deck of cards? It's described as solitaire-y.

35. What card game can result in the most pain? Poke-r.

36. What card game always ranks on the top of the card game leaderboard? Uno.

37. What did everyone say when two of the highest valued cards from a deck got married? It's so adorable, how the King has finally managed to find his Queen.

38. What did the man give his fiancé, a card enthusiast, when he wanted to propose to her? He gave her a diamond card.

39. How did a card's friends know she was enamored with someone? Her face was flush with love.

40. What did the card say when he didn't end up getting through the job interview? I guess it's just not in the cards for me.

41. What did a woman say when her husband successfully made card-shaped pancakes after she had failed multiple times? The cards seem to be stacked against me.

42. What did a man say when he thought the dealer was being fishy and not handing himself the right deal? Hey man, what's your deal?

43. What did a man say when he got told that he couldn't play a card game with his left hand? I need to play my cards right to win.

44. What did the pirate's friend say when he saw the pirate sitting next to the treasure chest during their poker game? Why are you playing your cards so close to your chest?

45. What card was thrown out of the deck for being too rebellious? The wild card.

Here at Kidadl, we have carefully created lots of great family-friendly jokes for everyone to enjoy! If you liked our suggestions for 40+ Poker Jokes, then why not take a look at steak puns, or accounting puns.

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Written by Rajnandini Roychoudhury

Bachelor of Arts specializing in English, Master of Arts specializing in English

Rajnandini Roychoudhury picture

Rajnandini RoychoudhuryBachelor of Arts specializing in English, Master of Arts specializing in English

With a Master of Arts in English, Rajnandini has pursued her passion for the arts and has become an experienced content writer. She has worked with companies such as Writer's Zone and has had her writing skills recognized by publications such as The Telegraph. Rajnandini is also trilingual and enjoys various hobbies such as music, movies, travel, philanthropy, writing her blog, and reading classic British literature. 

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