70 Vampire Jokes That Will Make You Laugh Until You're Coffin | Kidadl


70 Vampire Jokes That Will Make You Laugh Until You're Coffin

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Vampires are mysterious night creatures that have fascinated people for centuries. Whether they're depicted as romantic figures, fearsome monsters, or somewhere in between, they've certainly made a mark in our culture. Whether you're a fan of the supernatural or just in need of a good chuckle, we've got you covered. Here's a perfect set of vampire jokes that will have everyone howling with laughter!

From the classic to the quirky, these funny vampire puns and jokes are the perfect blend of silly and spooky that will surely be a hit at your next gathering. Imagine the giggles and grins as you unveil a punchline, turning an ordinary night into an unforgettable memory with your loved ones. Not only will these vampire jokes entertain, but they might also spark some curiosity in children about these classic characters of lore. So, gather you little ghouls and goblins, and prepare to laugh until you are coffin.

Funny Vampire Jokes

Studio shot of child in spooky Halloween costume

We all love Count Dracula, and we all love funny vampire jokes and funny vampire sayings. Here is a list of vampire jokes for kids if you are looking for the best vampire joke ever.

1. What is Dracula's favorite coffee order? Decoffinated.

2. What would you get when you cross a vampire with sheep? Drac-Ewe-La.

3. Why did Dracula divorce his wife after she took a blood test? She wasn't his type.

4. Why does Dracula always read the best-reviewed newspaper? Someone told him it had good circulation.

5. Why can you never win in a boxing match with Dracula? Nobody can ever beat the Count.

6. Why does Dracula not have friends? He's such a pain in the neck.

7. Why did Dracula take cold medicine? Because he was coffin too much.

8. Why did Dracula turn over a new leaf? He wanted to be re-vamped.

9. Why are all other monsters good friends with Dracula? Because they could always Count on him.

10. What happened when Dracula posted prohibited content on YouTube? A Count suspended.

11. Why did Dracula fail at Art? He was only able to draw blood.

12. What does Dracula say to greet everyone when he wakes up? Good evening.

13. What would Dracula with a guitar be called? Vondervall.

14. Why did Superman fail to defeat Dracula? He could not go to the Krypt Tonight.

15. Where does Dracula usually take a bath? In bat tubs.

16. What is the name of Dracula's vegan brother? Count Rucola.

17. What is Dracula's favorite fruit? Neck-tarines

18. Why doesn't Dracula attack chickens? Because chickens have fowl blood.

19. How does Dracula get his torch to turn on? With bat-teries.

20. What song did Van Hel sing when he killed the last clone of Dracula? 'The Final Countdown'

21. What was the favorite subject of Dracula in school? Ac-count-ing

22. Where does Dracula buy writing utensils from? Pencil-veinia.

23. Why is Dracula not invited to parties? Because he sucks the life out of them.

24. Why did Dracula take up math as a subject in college? Because he loves to Count.

Funniest Vampire Jokes

Here is a list of some funny vampire jokes, vampire one-liners, and vampire puns in general that are bloody funny!

25. What would you call a vampire on sale? A dis-Count Dracula.

26. What happened at the vampire sprint race? It finished neck and neck.

27. What is a vampire's favorite ice cream flavor? It's vein-illa.

28. Where do vampires not look that scary? On reflection.

29. Why was the local vampire club getting bigger constantly? They are always out for new blood.

30. How did the vampire feel when he was partying at the club? He had a bloody good time.

31. Why do people hate vampires in general? Because they suck.

32. If vampires were furry creatures, what would they be called? Nos-fur-atu.

33. What type of vampires are always grumpy? The ones with B negative blood type.

34. What is usually the last meal of a vampire before execution? A steak!

35. Why do vampires not want to become investment bankers? They hate stakeholders.

36. What do vampires usually call their boats? Blood Vessel.

37. What is a vampire's favorite brand of beer? Bloodweiser.

38. Why do vampires need mouthwash? To combat bat breath.

39. What is a group of vampire groupies called? A fang club.

40. When do ideas kill vampires? When they dawn upon them.

41. Why are vampires massive sociopaths? They have zero capability of self-reflection.

42. Why do vampires refuse to bet on horses? Because of their inability to handle the stakes.

43. What would you get when you cross a vampire with a snowman? Frostbite.

44. What is a redneck vampire 's favorite drink? Blood Light.

45. Where do vampires deposit all their money? The blood bank.

46. What is a vampire 's favorite fruit to eat when they need Vitamin C? Blood oranges.

47. What is a cross-dressing vampire called? A Dragula.

48. What is a vampire s favorite drink when they party? Bloody Mary.

49. What did the vampire doctor say to his patient? You need more iron.

50. Why do vampires like attacking wizards? They are neck-romancers.

51. What does the doctor vampire say when he calls up a patient? Necks please!

Here at Kidadl, we have carefully created lots of great family-friendly jokes for everyone to enjoy! If you liked our suggestions for Vampire Jokes then why not take a look at Zombie puns, or Witch jokes.

<p>Arkoprabho is an English graduate from Bidhannagar University with experience in academic writing on various subjects such as business management, law, and medicine. He is a published poet and enjoys films, music, and finance. As a member of the Content Updating team, he aims to become an expert in SEO content writing and editing. In his free time, he likes to write film scripts, research the stock market, and indulge in creative interests such as poetry writing, anime, and music.</p>

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