65+ Best History Puns That Never Get Old

Rajnandini Roychoudhury
Jan 24, 2024 By Rajnandini Roychoudhury
Originally Published on Dec 02, 2020
Edited by Flora Wilson
Focused Roman helmet placed on rock wall.
Age: 0-99
Read time: 9.2 Min

History is no joke, and neither are puns about history... Or are they?

While some puns about history can be dark, some can be golden. But is a historical pun even a happy one if it has no happy history?

While history puns are made to make people laugh out loud, not all of history is happy. But rest assured, you can be happy about the fact that this list of history puns will not repeat itself. Also, among the student population, most will have the opinion that History, as a subject, is not their most favorite primarily because it can be boring sometimes. Hence, to make things easier, puns and jokes incorporated into lessons help with retaining them better. Cracking a funny joke or pun may lighten a severe mood in History class and maybe even get many students interested in the subject.  As a matter of fact, if you are interested, here's a valuable nugget from the history of puns itself. Puns, although they are treated as a form of humor, were widely used in various art forms and had a long history in the art of writing. Plautus, the Roman playwright, was popular for his puns and riddles. Puns originated from ancient Egypt and were extensively used in the development of myths and dream interpretation. They have also been a record of puns being used in the Hebrew Bible and by Mesopotamian scribes.

While most students will swear by the fact that without having History as a subject their lives would seem easier, countless History nerds would love to have an hilarious chunk of some nerd humor. Nerd humor is also a great way to make fellow nerds connect with their own circle of peers, and one of the top forms of this type of joke would be a funny pun. Jokes, funny history puns, and riddles are also great brain exercises and are popular amongst studious kids.  

However, when it comes to history teachers, what is most important is to show them undue respect. While it may not be very funny to make fun of a teacher, cracking a clever and funny pun about a history teacher who is clever and witty may also have your history teacher crackling up. Laughter is the best teacher, after all. If you are a fan of such funny content, you could also check out history jokes and geography puns for more funny lists about school based jokes. After all, it's much easier to study with a smile on your face!

If you're looking for some famous and funny history puns, including ancient history puns, art history puns, American history puns, Napoleon puns, American revolution puns, Aztec puns, Roman jokes and puns, and world history puns, you do not need to go down in history for that. Here is a great list of the best funny puns from the history of the world for history students and history teachers to enjoy to their heart's content. Consider this as a funny history session with loads of history puns that do not age and are not limited to just American history.

Funniest History Puns

Vintage book in candle light

Here is a list of funny puns for both history nerds and even students who are not very fond of history, we think it's the best list you'll find. It will make even the Dark Ages look bright!

1. The early ages in history are called the Dark Ages because there were too many knights.

2. The English Pilgrims' favorite type of flower is the May Flower.

3. When the Frenchman asked for a book on warfare on Battle of Waterloo from his librarian, she said, "You're just going to lose it."

4. The colonized do not like British tea. They only want liber-tea.

5. There are hardly any knock-knock jokes about America because freedom rings.

6. You do not want to know the history behind the railroad because it is so underground.

7. When Julius Ceasar got defeated by Brutus in 'Battleship,' he said, "A2 Brute?"

8. There are countless marble-lous statues in Greece, but we always take them for Granite.

9. When Lincoln had asked Republican Senator John if he would aid him in capturing Atlanta, he replied, "Sher-man!"

10. If someone else would have invented the airplane, it wouldn't have been Wright.

11. King Arthur's Round Table was built by Sir Cumference.

12. It is no wonder that Thomas Jefferson was thus named, his father was after Jefferdad.

13. One of the funny puns uttered by Mark Twain is that denial is not just a river in Egypt.

14. One of the historical figures to play music with has got to be the talented Mr. Ben-jam-in Franklin.

15. Once upon a time, there was a king who loves traveling through tunnels. The people gave him the name: Alex-Under.

16. When the love of his life finally left him, young Fidel cried out in despair, "I didn't think you would embar go my dear one."

17. England is the wettest country because many monarchs reigned there for many years.

18. Vikings used to send private messages using the Norse code.

19. The type of lighting that Noah had used in his ark was Floodlights.

20. The sweetest and fruitiest historical wonder of the world is the Grape Wall of China.

21. When Julius Caeser had met Cleopatra, he told her, "Toga-ether, we can rule the world."

22. The loveliest subject in schools History because it has so many dates.

23. In a fallen knight's grave, the epitaph usually reads "Rust in Peace."

24. The First World War ended very quickly because they were Russian.

25. The Second World War was very slow because they were Stalin.

26. If George Frederic Handel would be born in the modern era, his favorite song would be "Club Can't Even Handel Me."

27. The comedian said a joke from the 17th century, the crowd went historical.

28. When indoor toilets were introduced in Britain, it was considered to be a revo-loo-tionary move.

29. During the cold war all the countries involved went into hibernation

30. A salad that requires to be eaten with 23 knives is called a Caesar salad.

31. Franz Joseph constantly sour about everything because he was always Haydn.

32. Nobody knows about Napoleon's brother because they were born-apart-e

33. The only kind of Rock music that the Pilgrims were fond of was Plymouth Rock.

34. The Roman Empire was cut in half by a pair of Caesars.

35. A snake's favorite subject to study in school is Hisssstory.

36. I had a friend who got a Ph.D. in the history of Palindromes. He is now called Dr. Awkward.

37. After having learned the history of chess, I have come to the conclusion that all chess players have quite a checkered past.

38. The biggest irony in the world's history is that the Russian alphabet has no letters in lowercase. It is all Capitalization.

39. The paper my student wrote on Tsar Ivan was so bad, it was tearable.

40. I wouldn't say I liked the documentary that I had watched on the history of WD-40. It was non-friction.

Funny History Puns On Places, Events And People


Here is a list of some of the best jokes, funny puns, and food for good nerd humor that will have you rolling on the floor. We've included a lot of jokes about American history, we think they're totally revolutionary!

41. I General Lee do not find punny history jokes about the Civil War funny.

42. Karl Marx dislikes EarlGrey Tea because proper-tea is theft.

43. When the proposal of building a parking lot was given to Richard III, he told said, "Over my dead body."

44. George Washington has sleeping problems only because he is unable to lie.

45. The yearbook superlative that Robert Lee had given in his graduation was "Most likely to secede."

46. After the Palace of Versailles was completed, Louis XIV felt Baroque and roll.

47. Gordon Ramsey shouted at Queen Mary because she was burning everything.

48. Henry VIII had breathing troubles - he had no heir!

49. Catherine and Peter performed great in 'Dancing with the Tsar'last night. But Ivan was terrible.

50. When one is Russian for industrialization, there is no time for Stalin.

51. When the History teachers wanted to help out students who were failing the subject privately, they put up a poster on the school bulletin boards that said, "Need Tudoring?"

52. When Napoleon died in the explosion, he was blown-apart-e.

53. Napoleon conquered too much lang because he had too little Toulouse.

54. Alexander did not like eating chicken legs because he hated defeat.

55. When Napoleon is indecisive, he is torn-apart-e.

56. Vegetarians in the sixth century were called peasants.

57. I wonder why Lenin didn't realize that communism would fail to work. There were so many red flags everywhere.

Funny History Teacher Puns

It is essential to respect your teachers, but it is also imperative that you find a good friend in them too. Here is a list of funny puns about History teachers that will have you doubling with laughter.

58. My teacher told me in History class to do some light reading on the history of the light bulb.

59. When I wrote the history of cheese for our term paper in school, our History teacher said it was grate.

60. When I asked my Teacher in History class if she could tell us more about Napoleon's origin, she replied,"'Course I can!"

61. One fundamental lesson our teacher has taught us in History class while talking about the Civil War was never to take victory for Grant-ed.

62. While teaching about the Mongol Empire in History class, our teacher told us, "If anyone Khan, Genghis Khan."

63. When the teacher got frustrated because the students weren't paying attention to the class about Isaac Newton, he exclaimed, "Don't you understand the gravity of this situation?"

64. When I asked my History teacher if he knew about Einstein's origin and history, he said, "I am relatively aware of it."

65.  We were debating about Charles Darwin in class when the teacher warned us, "Don't let this evolve into an argument."

66. When my teacher asked me if I knew who built the ark in History class, I answered, "I have Noah idea!"

67. When I gave the wrong answer about Austrian composers in class, my teacher said, "Are you Schubert that?"

68. When the student had asked the History teacher what questions will be there for the History exam, she answered, "The Past."

69. My least favorite teacher in the school is the History teacher. Whenever she takes a class on Ancient History, she tends to Babylon.

We hope this article inspired you in your search for funny history puns. Here at Kidadl, we have collated together lots of great family-friendly puns for everyone! If you liked our suggestions for History puns, then why not take a look at teacher puns, or for something different, take a look at book puns.

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Written by Rajnandini Roychoudhury

Bachelor of Arts specializing in English, Master of Arts specializing in English

Rajnandini Roychoudhury picture

Rajnandini RoychoudhuryBachelor of Arts specializing in English, Master of Arts specializing in English

With a Master of Arts in English, Rajnandini has pursued her passion for the arts and has become an experienced content writer. She has worked with companies such as Writer's Zone and has had her writing skills recognized by publications such as The Telegraph. Rajnandini is also trilingual and enjoys various hobbies such as music, movies, travel, philanthropy, writing her blog, and reading classic British literature. 

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