90+ Best Morning Jokes To Start Your Day

Joan Agie
Dec 12, 2023 By Joan Agie
Originally Published on Dec 07, 2020
Edited by Monisha Kochhar
Fact-checked by Monisha Kochhar
Newborn baby playing with stars and clouds mobile
Age: 0-99
Read time: 12.5 Min

Say hello to a brand new day! With each sunrise comes a world of new opportunities, and challenges as fresh as the morning dew.

However, while some people spring right out of bed, ready to take on the day with enthusiasm, others find themselves reaching for that first life-saving cup of coffee. But no matter how you greet the dawn, everyone could use a sprinkle of humor to start the day right.

Rise and shine, because it's laughter o'clock! Welcome to a collection of the best morning jokes designed to tickle your funny bone just as the sun peeks over the horizon.

These gems are as revitalizing as a hot cup of coffee or the morning sunlight. Sometimes, the right morning joke is just what you need to feel better about an otherwise hectic day. So, whether you're an early riser or a serial snoozer, these delightful jokes are here to ensure your day begins on a high and hilarious note!

Funny Morning Jokes To Have A Good Day

Ready to chuckle your way through breakfast? This collection of early morning jests is just what you need to jump-start your day with a grin.

These are the sort of rib ticklers that'll find a home on your jokes of the day list. Ready to share these quips with others and keep the laughter rolling? Who knows, these funny morning jokes might just become your secret weapon to turn any morning frown upside down!

1. Have you heard about a man who told his family every morning that he was going jogging but never did? It was a running joke.

2. Did you hear about the lady who woke up one morning to find her entire house filled with balloons? She said she was absolutely uplifted!

3. What do they call first thing in the morning in Poland? The Krakow dawn.

4. Did you hear about the man who gets hit by the same bike every single morning? What a vicious cycle!

5. Have you heard about the guy who found a bunch of celery every morning on his doorstep? He thought he was being stalked.

6. When the man who was visiting his wife’s grave said, "Morning", to another visitor, what was his reply? He said, "No, I'm good. Just walking my dog."

7. Did you hear about the man who woke up in the morning and forgot which side the sun rises from? It eventually dawned on him.

8. What would you do if you had a problem with your boiled egg in the morning? Just crack it.

9. What do you call a radio that only works in the morning? An AM radio.

10. What kind of paper do cows read in the morning? The moospaper.

11. What would you call the alarm clock which goes off at 2 o'clock in the morning every day? A ringing nightmare.

12. Did you hear about the man who found a bunch of LEGO every morning on his front porch? He didn't know what to make of them.

13. What does the clock do when it's still hungry after breakfast in the morning? It goes back four seconds.

14. Did you see the man who forgot how to put his seat belt on while driving to work in the morning? Well, after a while, it clicked.

15. What does Iron Man say every morning when he stands in front of the magic mirror? He says, "Mirror, mirror on my wall, who is ferrous of us all?"

16. Why do birds always sing in the morning? Because they don't go to work.

17. What would you call it if you spent an entire morning coating a ladder with grease that leads into your attic? An anti-climb-attic morning.

18. Why did the jailer start counting the numbers of all the inmates in the morning? Because they wanted a con-census.

19. What do you call a superhero who delivers the morning papers? Newspaperman.

20. What did the man say when he woke up one morning to find he had turned into a cat? "Don’t ask meow it happened".

21. Did I tell you about my summer job in high school that made me get up early in the morning with a paintbrush and a glass of water? It wasn't really high-paying, but I made dew.

22. Why were the man and his family crying in the morning? They were coming back from a moving sale.

23. What did the woman say before telling jokes in the early mornings? "You people up for it?"

24. What would you do if you got up in the morning, ran around the blocks a few times, and got tired? I'd pick up the blocks and put them back in my brother's toy box.

25. Have you heard about the alarm clock that broke into laughter every morning? It just cracked up at the break of dawn!

26. Did you hear about the rooster who overslept every day? He was accused of fowl play!

27. What did the sleepy moon say when the nagging sun asked it to rise in the morning? "I'm not a morning person."

28. A woman texts her husband on a cold winter morning, "Windows frozen, won't open." Her husband texts back, "Gently pour some lukewarm water over it and then gently tap edges with a hammer." The woman texts back 10 minutes later, "Computer really messed up now."

Delicious Early Morning And Breakfast Jokes

Two young brothers with natural red hair playing outdoor together

Who says breakfast time can't be giggle time? This delightful array of daybreak jests will season your morning routine with laughter.

Here, you'll discover the tastiest, toastiest breakfast humor, plus a heaping helping of the good day jokes sure to add a dash of fun to your day. These lighthearted quips are perfect to share around the breakfast table or to savor all by yourself.

29. What did the slice of bacon say to the eggs during breakfast? "I'm sizzlin', and you're lookin' eggcellent!"

30. What did the pancake say when it woke up in the skillet one morning? "Well, looks like it's time to flip out!"

31. Have you heard about a Frenchman who choked while he was eating his morning omelet? He said, "Oeuf."

32. Why did the orange go to the doctor in the morning? It wasn't peeling very well!

33. What beverage do all sick people have in the morning? Cough-ee.

34. What do bakers say when they wake up every morning? "Time to get bready now."

35. What does a successful pastry chef say to himself in the morning? "I'll be making a lot of dough today."

36. Why did the man get arrested for pouring himself a cup of coffee in the morning? The police thought it was a mugging.

37. What did the man say to his wife who was grouchy all morning because there was no bread? "Had no idea you were this lack-toast intolerant."

38. What did the cinnamon roll say to the new bagel at breakfast? "You're nice and all, but I'm on a roll this morning!"

39. Why did the man make his hamster an extra-strong coffee in the morning? He didn't want it to fall asleep at the wheel.

40. Have you heard about the man named Aaron who also has a son named Aaron and they go jogging together every morning? Well, they're running Aarons.

41. What drink do lobsters have in the morning? Clawfee.

42. Why did the coffee file a police report in the morning? It got mugged on its way to the breakfast table.

43. How does Moses make his morning coffee? He-brews it.

44. What would you call it if you accidentally spilled some coffee grinds in the morning? "It was grounded". 

45. What happened when the lawyer worried about his court case too much and forgot to use any coffee filter in the morning? Well, after brewing, the coffee had quite a lot of grounds to appeal.

46. What does a croissant say when looking at a cup of coffee in the morning? "You're not really my cup of tea."

47. I have to stop and have my morning coffee even if I am getting latte for work.

48. What happens when you finish drinking your cup of tea in the morning? It becomes emptea.

49. What would you call it if you had a gold-colored hot drink in a golden cup in the morning every day? A gilt-tea pleasure.

50. What happens when you smell breakfast in the morning? It would be bacon-ing me and I'd be very eggcited.

51. What would you say if your dad asked you how the breakfast waffles he made were? "They weren't w-awful."

52. What do you say when someone compliments the eggs you cooked for breakfast? "Well, I'm an eggspert."

Funny Morning Jokes That'll Wake You Up

Ready to jump-start your day with a hearty laugh? This lineup of morning chucklers is the secret sauce to turning any sleepy head into a morning person!

You'll find a hilarious medley of good morning gags, sleep wisecracks, and wake-up witticisms that are sure to tickle your funny bone. They are so amusing, that you might just find yourself rolling out of bed in fits of laughter instead of grogginess!

53. What happened to the guy who started jogging for his health? It's been almost a year since that morning and still no one knows where he is.

54. What would you call it if you choked on your water when jogging every morning for a week? The worst-ever running gag.

55. Why was the sun wearing sunglasses in the morning? Because it didn't want to be recognized by the early birds!

56. What would it be called if you refused to go running in the morning? Resistance training!

57. What did the wife give her husband when he returned home all sweaty from his morning jog? The stink eye.

58. All my friends decided to go on a stroll in the jungle at night, but everyone came back safe in the morning. They took the psychopath.

59. What would you call someone who can't stop jogging along the beach in the morning? Joggernaut.

60. At what time of morning does a duck wake up? At the quack of dawn.

61. What would it be called if you woke up every day in the morning to the sound of zombies screaming? Dawn of the Living Dead.

62. What did the cheerleader serve her mom for breakfast on Mother’s Day morning? Cheerios.

63. What does the pirate have for breakfast every morning? Captain Crunch.

64. What does Tony Stark eat for breakfast every day? Iron Bran. 

65. Why does Thanos eat cereal in the morning? Because that breakfast is well-balanced.

66. What does an author eat for breakfast every day? Synonym buns.

67. What does a cup say to the coffee every morning? "You’re brew-ti-ful."

68. What is a barista’s everyday morning mantra? "Rise and grind."

69. Why was the worker at the coffee shop fired? Because he kept showing up in Tea-shirts every morning to work.

70. Where do birds go every day to get a cup of coffee? To the NESTcafe.

Knock Knock Jokes To Have A Funny Morning

Knock, knock! Who's there?

It's a bunch of rib-tickling, side-splitting knock-knock jokes ready to add some morning merriment to your day! This selection of classic knock-knock gags features a delightful mix of morning jests and waking-up japes that are guaranteed to have everyone around the breakfast table in stitches.

Whether you're a seasoned joker or new to the world of knock-knock humor, these little nuggets of fun are the perfect way to get your day off to a chuckling start.

71. Knock! Knock!

Who's there?

Dawn.

Dawn who?

Dawn talk to me until I've had my coffee.

72. Knock! Knock!

Who's there?

Bacon.

Bacon who?

Bacon a cake for breakfast might be a bit too much, don't you think?

73. Knock! Knock!

Who's there?

Java.

Java who?

Java moment to spare for a cup of coffee this morning?

74. Knock! Knock!

Who's there?

Honey.

Honey who?

Honey, you should see the sunrise. It's breathtaking!

75. Knock! Knock!

Who's there?

Toast.

Toast who?

Toast time you got out of bed, sleepyhead!

76. Knock! Knock!

Who's there?

Sunny.

Sunny who?

Sunny side up or scrambled, how do you want your eggs this morning?

77. Knock! Knock! 

Who's there?

Dew.

Dew who?

Dew wanna go jogging tomorrow morning? 

78. Knock! Knock!

Who's there?

Butter.

Butter who?

Butter wake up, or you'll miss the most beautiful sunrise! 

79. Knock! Knock!

Who's there?

Berry.

Berry who?

Berry your worries and seize the new day!

Sleepyhead Jokes For The Ones Who Don't Like Waking Up Early

For the snooze-button champions and blanket burrito artists, this one's for you! Here is a cozy collection of sleepyhead jests that'll bring a smile to even the groggiest morning face.

Whether you're a dedicated night owl or just not a fan of the rooster's crow, these playful quips are bound to make waking up a little bit easier and a lot funnier!

80. I was gonna take over the world this morning but I overslept. Postponed!

81. I would be a morning person if morning happened around 1 p.m.

82. I wake up in the morning and lay in my bed waiting for my mom to prepare breakfast. And suddenly I remember that I’m the mom.

83. My morning alarm is jealous of my amazing relationship with my bed. It always shouts at me every morning.

84. My outfits are typically inspired by the fact that I hit my snooze button eight times every morning.

85. A yawn in the morning is a silent scream for coffee.

86. Sometimes I can be a real morning person; like in the afternoon when I get up.

87. The morning is great. Its only catch is that it comes at such an inconvenient time of day.

88. Any job is a dream job if you fall asleep in morning meetings.

89. Every morning after I wake up, the first thing I do is make my bed. Tomorrow I’m returning this piece of junk to Ikea.

90. I bought one of those traveling irons yesterday. Woke up this morning and it was gone.

91. If you’re feeling down, try drinking a pint of water before going to bed. It’ll give you a reason to get up in the morning.

92. I was grilling steak this morning. Didn’t mean to wagyu up.

93. My mom told me it was foggy this morning but I must have mist it.

94. What do iPhones eat for breakfast? Siri-al.

Well, there you have it – a delightful morning banquet of chuckles, grins, and full-blown belly laughs! Each jest and gag is a friendly nudge, urging you to face the day with a lighter heart and a wider smile.

Of course, humor tastes may vary, but that's the beauty of it - there's something for everyone! Whether you're an early bird or a bit more owl-like, these morning giggles have the power to brighten your day, and just maybe, those around you too.

So why wait? Let laughter be your new morning ritual.

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Sources

https://forum.fractalaudio.com/threads/dad-jokes.176802/page-372#post-2326582

https://www.beano.com/posts/funny-morning-jokes

https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/5injad/wife_texts_husband_on_a_cold_winter_morning/

https://linepoetry.com/good-morning-funny-jokes

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Written by Joan Agie

Bachelor of Science specializing in Human Anatomy

Joan Agie picture

Joan AgieBachelor of Science specializing in Human Anatomy

With 3+ years of research and content writing experience across several niches, especially on education, technology, and business topics. Joan holds a Bachelor’s degree in Human Anatomy from the Federal University of Technology, Akure, Nigeria, and has worked as a researcher and writer for organizations across Nigeria, the US, the UK, and Germany. Joan enjoys meditation, watching movies, and learning new languages in her free time.

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