40 Milk Puns That Are Udderly Great

Milk, whether regular, almond, soy, oat or other, is consumed world-wide; its appeal is universal.

Whether drunk cold as a refreshing drink, added to dishes or creamy puddings or used in your hot drinks, milk is an important part of our diets. And thanks to its well-loved nature, it's also just the thing to raise a smile with a word perfect pun.

Over the course of a year the average cow will produce 350,000 glasses of the white stuff. But, there's always room for improvement. One study found that cows who listened to relaxing music were able to produce more milk  than their non-musical cow-nterparts. Yoghurt to be kidding me!

We've got 40 puns about milk to start your day, and why not keep the laughs going all day with these cow puns and egg puns?

Dairy Puns

If you don't like milk is it a cream against nature? Let's find out with these cheesy chuckles.

1. Did you hear about the scandal at the dairy factory? They were skimming a bit off the top.

2. A stampede at the dairy farm would result in udder chaos.

3. A man attacked me with cream, butter and milk. How dairy.

4. The dairy farmer couldn't find his way home last night. He completely lost his whey.

Dairy-Free Puns

Whether it's almond milk puns or funny one-liners about soy milk we've got you covered. After all not everyone is a fan of milk. Vegans and vegetarians these one-liners are for you.

5. I love almond milk. It's unlike any udder milk.

6. My cousin loves milk from Spain. She's always drinking soy milk.

7. You should never give milk to someone who is open minded and hasn't yet had breakfast. They're lack-toast and tolerant.

8. What if soy milk is just regular milk that's trying to introduce itself in Spanish?

9. The hardest thing about going vegan is milking the almonds.

11. My pet cow thinks she produces almond milk. She must be nuts.

Cow Themed Milk One Liners

From milkshake puns to animal-themed lines these cow themed word play will a-moo-se you.

12. Did you hear about the dairymaid who broke her leg in the cow's pen? She was milking it.

13. Cows have hooves instead of feet because they lactose.

14. My friend is always trying to make cows nervous. She's a fan of milkshakes.

15. The milk didn't like my last joke. He wasn't a-moo-sed.

16. Cow to the milk: 'I am your father'.

17. I sent my cows to bed at 8pm last night. I told them 'it's pasteur bedtime'.

18. My herd of cows always confuse me. I can't milk head nor tail of them.

19. I bought a dwarf cow yesterday. I just fancied some condensed milk.

20. I wasn't able to milk my cow yesterday. It was an udder failure.

21. I'm worried that the milk I got this morning was from a cloned cow. It tasted exactly like the milk I had yesterday.

22. Of course, some puns are better than udders.

Funny Milk Related Puns

No milk pun has been missed! We've gathered together our final selection of funnies here.

23. The doctor advised I tried a milk bath. I asked if it needs to be pasteurized. No, just above the knees she replied.

24. I replaced the milk in the carton with lemon juice. Everyone was really sour about it.

25. I love milk when it's churned. It's butter that way.

26. Milk is the fastest drink on the planet. It's pasteurized before you even see it.

27. I waited over an hour for my cappuccino and when it arrived there was too much milk and not enough coffee. Still, better latte than never.

28. The spoiled milk always got what it wanted.

29. Milk aliens have landed. They said 'take me to your litre'.

30. The thing about milk-inspired puns is you only reach 2% of their potential.

31. Spoiler alert! The milk's gone off.

32. I'm not saying you're old, but if you were milk I'd sniff you first.

33. I'd tell you a joke about milk but it's whey too cheesy.

34. I can't drink milk. I lactose genes required to digest it.

35. I went into the library and asked for pint of milk. The librarian said 'this is a library'. So i whispered 'I'd like a pint of milk please'.

36. Astronauts can't open milk bottles in space. 'In space, no one can. Here, use cream'.

37. I thought I'd have some evaporated milk on my pudding. But when I opened it, it was empty.

38. I introduced chocolate to milk. They did a chocolate milk shake.

39. My dad landed a new job at the dairy. He's the cow-ordinator.

40. Angry cows are usually to blame for the sour milk.