50+ Sewing Puns That Will Make You Laugh Until You're Coming Apart At The Seams

Rajnandini Roychoudhury
Feb 29, 2024 By Rajnandini Roychoudhury
Originally Published on Dec 02, 2020
Edited by Flora Wilson
Professional sewing machine stitching with white thread
Age: 0-99
Read time: 6.9 Min

Not only sewing skills but also sewing humor are important for any child or adult.

Just like the skill of sewing in your hands, the witticism of the best sewing quotes and puns should be on your tongue too. Let's discover some of the funniest sayings you could create about sewing.

Sewing is a common art that is used at least once by every person in their lifetime. This is not only a profession for people but also an important life skill. And, let's face it, when you're doing a particularly tricky project, sometimes you just have to laugh, or you'll cry! So let's add sewing humor to your tool kit. Here are some funny sewing quotes to fill your craft room with lots of laughter. From bad sewing puns to funny sewing machine jokes, sewing quotes to funny quilter jokes, everything is covered here!

If these funny sewing jokes and puns make you indomitably laugh, then you might also enjoy geology puns and computer jokes.

Sewing Puns

Whether it is Christmas or Easter; jokes about sewing never goes out of fashion. Make your family and friends peal with laughter with sewing puns. So, let's begin our journey with these best sewing puns, which can also be turned into funny sewing jokes. If you want, you can even convert one sewing pun into multiple sewing quotes.

1. Christmas trees are the worst at sewing. They always drop their needles.

2. One yarn told the other, "I am not ready to dye yet, still have some end to tie".

3. A tailor did his bachelor's degree in law, and now that he has become a lawyer, he is sewing people.

4. I have been telling so many sewing jokes lately that I am out of material.

5. People who sew are lucky; they've got a singer in the house.

6. My sister was feeling sick, so my mother took her to the hospital. Now, she is all patched up.

7. I thought of learning sewing, but I didn't have all the equipment. Needle-ss to say didn't reach any further.

8. The tailor has been working on a dress for hours now. She seam-stressed.

9. A robber has been stealing sewing machines from specific stores. The police say he is following a pattern.

10. Once my mother advised me on sewing, "As you sew, so shall you rip".

11. Telling you a joke about a blunt needle is pointless.

12. I had a joke about a needle in the haystack written somewhere, but I can't find it.

13. My wife broke her sewing machine. Now she seams a little off.

14. Every time I start sewing, I can knot find my needles.

15. I needle the help I can get for this sewing project.

16. If Shakespeare writes a play on sewing, he would name it: To Sew Or Not To Sew

17. When the baby needle went missing, his family contacted Inspector Clue-sew.

18. My husband was on pins and needles when I reached the final round in a sewing competition.

19. Two sewing machines were strolling in a park. One of those machines asked the other "Are you a singer?". The other replied "ja-no-me".

20. When I'm sewing, please don't talk to me. I needle a little space.

21. A few days ago, I bought a brand new sewing machine, but now it does not seams to be working.

Quilting Puns

Sewing machine on table in workshop

Needle-ss to mention that quilting can be a tedious job. However, sewing humor wrapped in it never make it boring. Let's take your sewing humor level to another level through this fun series! People who sew would love these puns and can also convert them into sewing quotes for social media.

22. My mother was sewing a quilt for me and asked how it was. But I refused to make a blanket statement.

23. A quilt injured itself during a football match and now its life hangs by a thread.

24. A porcupine felt cold at night so he covered himself in a quill-t.

25. A porcupine's favorite hobby is quilting.

26. I was thinking of not going to the gym, but my mother said I should not quilt.

27. The seamstress is charged to have stolen a sewing machine, and she seems quilty to me.

28. A quilter who works as a comedian part-time will leave you in stitches.

29. Whenever all the quilters gather in the sewing club the club always has a block party.

30. The quilt worker quit his job because he was feeling down.

31. I know, I know, my jokes suck. But I will not quilt cracking jokes.

Stitching Puns

Puns and puns and so on. Sewing has its entire world of crafting and fun. Sewing humor has reached another level through the stitching category. So, let's discover the best puns and funny sewing quotes that can also be used as sewing machine joke through this series.

33. A criminal went to the tailor and thread-end the tailor to stitch him a blanket.

34. A tailor once saw a seamstress travel via stitch-hiking.

35. I went to a comedy show. The jokes were so sharp that it had us all in stitches.

36. A doctor hurt himself and insisted on stitching himself. The other doctor said "Suture self".

37. When I sat to stitch, I found out that the stitching matching was broken. It was my last stitch effort.

38. Think of me as the seam ripper and it's best not to cross my path again anytime soon.

Fabric Puns

Every fabric has a unique texture and property. Then why not to have sewing jokes related to fabrics. Here are the funniest puns related to fabric. Let's quickly explore these fun sewing elements right here!

39. My friend told the teacher that he met with an accident and had to rest for a few days. His whole story was fabricated.

40. A dyer has worked for 40 years in the factory and he is retiring today. Now we are in dyer need.

41. My grandma always used to spin a yarn for me to make me sleep.

42. When I was ill, my mother woke up in the middle of the night and cleaned me up. She is a real night towel.

43. The reused label team called itself a real rag-tag team.

44. When the old frock was fired from her job, all her resources got de-pleated.

45. The IT Giants are researching cotton and velvet. It looks like they are preparing to get into the soft-wear industry.

46. I was so unlucky that everything I touched dyed, so I started working in the textile industry.

47. He just can't stop making jokes on denim, seems like it's in his jeans.

48. That man next door with such clothes always seamed sew-spicious to me.

49. My friend only makes fabrics for people who live far way. He looms on the horizon.

50. My room had no heater so my mother told me to keep plenty of blankets. I told her that I had it all covered already.

51. Russia does not require cotton, because they got Lenin.

Embroidery Puns

Every knot ties a beauty to a fabric. Similarly, every sewing humor brings a smile to the face of the seamster and seamstress. So let's spread smiles, laughter, and happiness through these funny puns series.

52. I was out of all my puns on embroidery, or sew it seems.

53. Most of the embroidery jokes are sew-sew.

54. My sister likes embroidery sew much that she communicates via it. I think she has made a sign language for herself, sew it seams.

55. I accidentally uploaded a question about embroidery on the wrong thread.

56. A sewing machine is trustworthy only if it seams legit.

57. Last night's kitty party was totally knit.

58. Stop procrasti-knit-ting: leaving all the work and start knitting.

59. Last night I told my sister a funny joke on embroidery and she was all in stitches.

Here at Kidadl, we have carefully created lots of great family-friendly puns for everyone to enjoy! If you liked our suggestions for sewing puns then why not take a look at 'roses are red' jokes, or for something different take a look at summer riddles and brain teasers.

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Written by Rajnandini Roychoudhury

Bachelor of Arts specializing in English, Master of Arts specializing in English

Rajnandini Roychoudhury picture

Rajnandini RoychoudhuryBachelor of Arts specializing in English, Master of Arts specializing in English

With a Master of Arts in English, Rajnandini has pursued her passion for the arts and has become an experienced content writer. She has worked with companies such as Writer's Zone and has had her writing skills recognized by publications such as The Telegraph. Rajnandini is also trilingual and enjoys various hobbies such as music, movies, travel, philanthropy, writing her blog, and reading classic British literature. 

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