30+ Surgery Jokes And Puns That Are Sharp As A Scalpel

This curated list of jokes and puns is filled with surgical humor.

Whether you're a med student or not, some of the funny medical one-liners in this article will leave you in splits. We hope you have the patients to read all of these great medical jokes and surgical one-liners.

Surgeons, doctors, nurses, and other hospital staff work tirelessly all year long to ensure the health and safety of their patients. We've curated this great list to appreciate all the effort they put into their job. This article includes a lot of surgery humor, surgical jokes, jokes about hospitals, and a strong dose of medical humor. We hope you enjoy the jokes and puns enumerate below!

If you would like to check out more articles with jokes and puns, you can check out 55 Best Doctor Doctor Jokes Sure To Cause A Case Of The Giggles and Medical Puns.

Every surgeon enjoys a good surgery joke, so if you're a surgeon, or an aspiring surgeon, you will love these funny surgeon jokes. This list also contains funny jokes about surgery. Here is a list of some funny surgeon jokes for your amusement.

1. Why do all the patients love the surgeon who is also a stand-up comic? He leaves them in stitches.

2. Who do people consider to be more reliable than plastic surgeons? Wooden surgeons.

3. Where did the British surgeon safeguard the organs from his donors? He kept them in Liverpool.

4. Why does everyone look up to surgeons who successfully help people lose weight? What they do takes guts.

5. Why does everyone love cardiac surgeons? They touch so many people's hearts.

6. How do most surgeons get so wealthy? They take a cut after every successful surgery!

7. How did a junior surgeon get entry into a prestigious medical conference? He made the cut.

8. Where do plastic surgeons source all of the new noses from? They buy them from the olfactory.

9. How did your friend's hepatectomy go? We weren't sure that it was going to be successful at first, but thankfully the surgeons de-livered.

10. What were the tonsils discussing yesterday? What they were going to wear on the day the surgeon took them out.

11. What did the nurse tell the surgeon when he asked her how the girl who swallowed some coins was doing? We haven't seen any change yet.

12. Why was one patient so relieved after his brain surgery? He had said that he wasn't sure about getting brain surgery, but then the doctor helped him change his mind.

13. What did the surgeon say when the patient told him he'd accidentally ingested a spoon? I need you to sit still and not stir.

14. Why did the string make a visit to the surgeon? He felt a knot in his stomach.

15. What did the surgeon say when a man told him his daughter had consumed a pen? Use a pencil till I get there.

16. What did the surgeon say when a patient informed him that he thought he was turning into curtains? I need you to pull it together.

17. What did the surgeon say when the patient asked him if the prescribed medicine would make his spots vanish forever? I don't make ir-rash-ional promises.

18. Why was the surgeon screaming "Typhoid, Measles, Tetanus!" in the hospital hallway? He liked to call the shots.

19. What did the patient say when the surgeon told him that he had acute appendicitis? In relation to who?

20. What would a surgeon say if a patient demanded that he close his own wound? Fine, suture self.

This article has a variety of great surgery puns for you to scan through. Here's a list of hilarious surgical puns.

21. All the hospital staff was super pumped for the upcoming party. It was going to be an open Mike night.

22. My mother fondly remembers the doctor who worked on her spine. Thinking about him takes her back on site!

23. I've decided to drop the idea of being a cardiac surgeon. I don't have the heart to complete medical school.

24. My doctor was really supportive when I told him that I was going to take the anesthesia by myself before the surgery. He told me to knock myself out.

25. A doctor was checking his schedule two hours before his shift was over to see how many operations he had left. "Five done, tumor to go", muttered the doctor when he saw the sheet on site!

26. Hippos make the best brain surgeons. They always know how to work around the hippo-camp-us.

27. You should never do bad things to offend a brain surgeon. They will lose their mind.

28. My friend once met an extremely annoying doctor who could not stop talking about skin diseases and things. He really got under her skin.

29. I stopped being friends with a doctor who used to recommend that I get my spine removed all the time. I knew he was trying to hold me back.

30.  My friend used to be a very reserved traveler before her brain surgery. The brain surgery really made her open her mind to the many wonders of the world.

Here's a list of medic jokes you will never get sick of!

31. Why is it useless for a doctor to give one patient lots of injections all over their body? Most injections are in vein.

32. What did the doctor say when one nurse asked him to recite an amnesia joke? I think I've forgotten how it goes.

33. Why did the mean old woman start acting really nice to her doctor after she came out of the operating room? She experienced a change of heart.

34. Which person from the hospital was also a DJ at the wedding of a doctor? The ultra sound technician.

35. How did the mother of the doctor know she wanted to become an osteopath? There wasn't a concrete reason, she just felt it in her bones.

Here at Kidadl, we have carefully created lots of great family-friendly jokes and puns for everyone to enjoy! If you liked our suggestions for Surgery Jokes and Puns then why not take a look at doctor puns, or blood puns.