40+ Surgery Jokes And Puns That Are Sharp As A Scalpel

Oluwatosin Michael
Feb 29, 2024 By Oluwatosin Michael
Originally Published on Jan 06, 2021
Edited by Monisha Kochhar
Professional Medical Doctors Performing Surgery.
Age: 0-99
Read time: 6.9 Min

If you're looking to explore the lighter side of a field that's often associated with seriousness and precision, this compilation of surgical jokes and puns is the perfect way to do just that. Whether you're a medical professional, a student, or just someone who enjoys clever wordplay, these puns are designed to appeal to a wide audience. Consider this a lighthearted tribute to the tireless heroes of healthcare. Those remarkable surgeons, doctors, nurses, and hospital staff who devote themselves to our well-being day in and day out. Enjoy this unique blend of medical terminology and comedy!

Funny Surgeon Jokes

Who says operating rooms can't be fun? Explore this humorous collection of surgeon jokes that'll tickle you funny bone and get you laughing in no time. Whether you're in the waiting room, the living room, or just looking for some laughter therapy, prepare for a good hearty laugh; these witty jokes are a cut above the rest. Enjoy!

1. Why do all the patients love the surgeon who is also a stand-up comic? He leaves them in stitches.

2. Who do people consider to be more reliable than plastic surgeons? Wooden surgeons.

3. Where did the British surgeon safeguard the organs from his donors? He kept them in Liverpool.

4. Why does everyone look up to surgeons who successfully help people lose weight? What they do takes guts.

5. Why does everyone love cardiac surgeons? They touch so many people's hearts.

6. How do most surgeons get so wealthy? They take a cut after every successful surgery!

7. How did a junior surgeon get entry into a prestigious medical conference? He made the cut.

8. Where do plastic surgeons source all of the new noses from? They buy them from the olfactory.

9. How did your friend's hepatectomy go? We weren't sure that it was going to be successful at first, but thankfully the surgeons de-livered.

10. What were the tonsils discussing yesterday? What they were going to wear on the day the surgeon took them out.

11. What did the nurse tell the surgeon when he asked her how the girl who swallowed some coins was doing? "We haven't seen any change yet."

12. Why was one patient so relieved after his brain surgery? He had said that he wasn't sure about getting brain surgery, but then the doctor helped him change his mind.

13. What did the surgeon say when the patient told him he'd accidentally ingested a spoon? "I need you to sit still and not stir."

14. Why did the string make a visit to the surgeon? He felt a knot in his stomach.

15. What did the surgeon say when a man told him his daughter had consumed a pen? "Use a pencil till I get there."

16. What did the surgeon say when a patient informed him that he thought he was turning into curtains? "I need you to pull it together."

17. What did the surgeon say when the patient asked if the prescribed medicine would vanish his spots forever? "I don't make ir-rash-ional promises."

18. Why was the surgeon screaming "Typhoid, Measles, Tetanus!" in the hospital hallway? He liked to call the shots.

19. What did the patient say when the surgeon told him that he had acute appendicitis? "In relation to who?"

20. What would a surgeon say if a patient demanded that he close his own wound? "Fine, suture self."

Hilarious Surgical Puns

Female Surgeon and Doctor Walk Through Hospital Hallway, They Consult Digital Tablet Computer while Talking about Patient's Health.

Medicine and surgery are not all about seriousness; there's room for humor too. This collection of surgical puns is crafted to entertain anyone with an interest in medicine or simply those in need of a good laugh. Perfect for sharing around the dinner table, on a car ride, or whenever you're in need of a hearty chuckle, these puns are here to inject a dose of humor into your day.

21. All the hospital staff was super pumped for the upcoming party. It was going to be an open Mike night.

22. My mother fondly remembers the doctor who worked on her spine. Thinking about him takes her back on site!

23. I've decided to drop the idea of being a cardiac surgeon. I don't have the heart to complete medical school.

24. My doctor was really supportive when I told him that I was going to take the anesthesia by myself before the surgery. He told me to knock myself out.

25. A doctor was checking his schedule two hours before his shift ended to find out the number of surgeries still pending. "Five done, tumor to go", muttered the doctor when he saw the sheet on site!

26. Hippos make the best brain surgeons. They always know how to work around the hippo-camp-us.

27. You should never do bad things to offend a brain surgeon. They will lose their mind.

28. I told my friend I was considering plastic surgery. He said, "Don't make such a 'rash' decision!"

29. I stopped being friends with a doctor who used to recommend that I get my spine removed all the time. I knew he was trying to hold me back.

30. I didn't want to have brain surgery… But the doctor told me I needed to have an open mind.

Medic Jokes

The connection between laughter and well-being is well-known, and these medic jokes are here to exemplify it. Ideal for lightening the mood or as a conversation starter, these jokes offer a blend of wit and medical insight. Enjoy these medic jokes, and let them remind you of the lighter side of a field that touches all our lives.

31. Why is it useless for a doctor to give one patient lots of injections all over their body? Most injections are in vein.

32. What did the doctor say when one nurse asked him to recite an amnesia joke? "I think I've forgotten how it goes."

33. Why did the mean old woman start acting really nice to her doctor after she came out of the operating room? She experienced a change of heart.

34. Which person from the hospital was also a DJ at the wedding of a doctor? The ultra sound technician.

35. How did the mother of the doctor know she wanted to become an osteopath? There wasn't a concrete reason, she just felt it in her bones.

36. A guy walks into a doctor's office. He has a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear, and a banana in his right ear. “What's the matter with me?” he asks the doctor. The doctor replied, “You're not eating properly.”

37. My friend kept procrastinating on scheduling a doctor's appointment. I told him, "Stop playing 'doc' and go see one."

38. A doctor asks his patient, "Are you following a proper diet?" The patient responds, "Oh, absolutely! I diet during the day and feast at night!"

39. I never thought seeing a physical therapist could fix my posture… But I stand corrected.

40. A doctor asks his patient, "Do you get enough exercise?" The patient replies, "Yes, doctor. I jump to conclusions, push my luck, and dodge my responsibilities every day!"

41. What did the nurse say when the patient from the bad car accident asked if he could do a handstand? "I think you've already flipped enough for one day!"

42. Doctor: I have some good news and bad news.

Me: Tell me the bad news first doc.

Doctor: The bad news is they mistook a piece of candy for your toe.

Me: No way. What's the good news?

Doctor: The good news is the surgery was successful.

Me: What are you trying to say?

Doctor: You now have a Tic-Tac toe.

You've just experienced a selection of jokes and puns from the world of medicine. These humorous takes on medical themes are intended to add a touch of levity to a field that can often be serious and demanding. Jokes have the power to lighten the mood and foster connections, whether in a professional environment or among friends and family. Consider sharing some of these jokes to bring a smile to someone's face. In a world filled with challenges, laughter can be a simple yet potent remedy, enhancing well-being and brightening your day-to-day lives.

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Written by Oluwatosin Michael

Bachelor of Science specializing in Microbiology

Oluwatosin Michael picture

Oluwatosin MichaelBachelor of Science specializing in Microbiology

With a Bachelor's in Microbiology from the Federal University of Agriculture, Abeokuta, Ogun State, Oluwatosin has honed his skills as an SEO content writer, editor, and growth manager. He has written articles, conducted extensive research, and optimized content for search engines. His expertise extends to leading link-building efforts and revising onboarding strategies. 

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