60+ Best Hockey Jokes To Break The Ice

Are you ready to have a hearty laugh with one of the most ancient and action-packed games in the world? Hockey isn't just one game; it's a whole family of games, each with its own unique flavor and style!

From the fast-paced thrills of ice hockey to the grace and strategy of field hockey, there's a version of hockey for every taste. With 11 players skating or running around, swinging curved sticks, and battling it out to hit a small hard ball into the opponent's goal post.

This list of hockey jokes will keep you laughing as you learn. Explore this hilarious medley of hockey-themed jokes ranging from ice hockey jokes to field hockey jokes. Perfect for breaking the ice at any gathering, these puns may just make you the MVP of humor.

Funny Hockey Jokes

Who says sports and humor can't go hand in hand? These jokes will not only tickle your funny bone but also ignite your sportsman spirit! So, whether you're a die-hard fan or a newbie to the rink, prepare to laugh your skates off with this line-up of puck-er-up jokes.

1. What made the hockey team's short-tempered coach so frustrated when he opened his email? He had so many forwards.

2. Have you seen the hockey player who visited the bank? He said he wanted to give out more checks.

3. What happened on the charter flight? All the hockey players were seated according to the position they play; one of them almost froze to death on the left wing.

4. Heard about the professional ice hockey player who switched his profession to become an accountant? He got an off-ice job.

5. From where do hockey players get their hockey uniforms? New Jersey.

6. Do you know that hockey players love drinking tea? Their favorite one is penal tea.

7. Why does the hockey rink get hot after the game? All the fans left.

8. Which animal is really good at playing hockey? A score-pion.

9. What position would Luke Skywalker play if he was on the Star Wars hockey team? X-Wing.

10. Heard about the Ghostbuster who was signed to the hockey team? He is great at blocking ghouls.

11. What hockey position did the ghost play in? He played as a ghouli.

12. How are hockey players paid? With a check.

13. Why do people say that carpenters cannot play hockey? They always get nailed to the boards.

14. Why do hockey players avoid dressing up for Halloween? Because they have to take their face-off.

15. What was the only thing constant in the Ottawa Senators Stadium during the mid-2000s? There was always a 'Pizza Line' there.

Hockey Jokes For Kids

Get ready to drop the puck on laughter with this treasure trove of hockey dad jokes that are just the ticket for some fun family chuckles. From quirky quips about hockey players to silly stick puns, these jokes are sure to score a giggle goal with the kids.

16. What is the reason that NHL players never sweat during a match? Because all the stadiums have lots of fans.

17. When do hockey players wear formal attire? When it is a tie game.

18. What would you call a former amateur hockey player who regrets not playing the game professionally? Wayne Regretzky.

19. What makes the defeated hockey team and scrambled eggs similar? Both are beaten up really bad.

20. Do you know why the magician was selected as a forward for the local hockey team? The coach was impressed by his hat-tricks.

21. Why was Cinderella bad at hockey? Because she learned it from a pumpkin.

22. Why was the dog who was playing hockey put in the penalty box? He got two minutes for ruffing.

23. What is the similarity between a game of hockey and an airboat? Loud fans.

Ice Hockey Jokes

Are you ready to have fun with some side-splitting ice hockey humor? There's an avalanche of jokes that will cool down any heated moment and get the giggles going. From rib-tickling puck puns to jokes, there's plenty to keep you entertained.

24. What is the similarity between a goldfish and an ice hockey player? The only way one can get their attention is by tapping on the glass.

25. How are hockey players so good at making new friends? They know how to break the ice real quick.

26. Were you watching the hockey match last night? It was like the perfect icing on the cake.

27. Why can't a pig play hockey? They hog the puck.

28. What did the goalie say to the puck after the game of hockey? "Catch you later, mate."

29. Where do retired hockey players prefer working? At the bakery, as they are good at icing the cakes.

30. What happened when a bunch of friends decided to go to the hockey game? Everyone agreed it was too far, and they will have to put that idea on ice.

31. What was the coach's reaction when it was announced that the team's starting goalie would not be able to join the game due to a peanut allergy reaction? "That's nuts."

32. Why could the shoe shop owner not find the right-sized shoe for a hockey player? It was a square foot.

33. Why are sparrows good at playing ice hockey? Because they are excellent at chirp-ing.

34. Why was the ice hockey player always going to the convenience store in the middle of the game? Because he had a grocery stick.

35. What did the ice hockey player say to his wife on the phone? "Take care, icy you later."

Field Hockey Jokes

Whether you're a fan of Canadian-style humor, a sideline cheerleader, or just a lover of fun or just love a good laugh, here are the perfect plays to tickle your funny bone. These are winning plays for brightening any day.

From athletic hockey stick jokes to hockey goalie jokes, these jokes are a surefire way to score big on smiles.

36. In an interview, the famous goalkeeper's wife was asked, "Why should one date a goalie"? She replied, "Because he's a keeper."

37. Why did they stop the zombie hockey game? They said someone had a face-off in the corner.

38. Why was the hockey player not allowed to listen to music? Because he broke a record.

39. What happened when hockey legends Jean Ratelle, Rod Gilbert, and Vic Hadfield started to tell a joke? They soon reached the GAG line.

40. Why could Cinderella not be on the field hockey team? She had a habit of running away from the ball.

41. What is the similarity between a dentist and a field hockey coach? They both use drills.

42. Why do field hockey players always carry an extra pair of shoelaces? In case they want to tie the score.

43. Why did the hockey player climb the tree with his hockey stick? He wanted to join the Maple Leafs.

Stanley Cup And Zamboni Jokes

This collection of jokes is inspired by two of the sport's most iconic symbols: the Stanley Cup and the Zamboni. Whether you're a champion of chortles or a rookie in the rink of humor, these punchlines will have you hoisting the trophy of mirth.

From cup-clinching quips to Zamboni zingers, this line-up will keep you smiling all the way to the goal.

44. What happened to the Zamboni driver? The local hockey rink reported he went missing; they hope he resurfaces soon.

45. Do you know the skeleton who drove to see the Hockey game? The skeleton had reached the stadium in his Zam-bony.

46. Why are former hockey players Buzz Schneider, John Harrington, and Mark Pavelich so good at geometry? This is because they were ConeHeads.

47. What was the zombie doing at the hockey rink? He was there to take the ride on Zombieoni.

48. What's a hockey player's favorite Italian pasta? Zam'roni.

49. How was Stan Lee an outstanding hockey player? When he went to his very first hockey practice, he already had the Stanley Cup.

50. What was on the menu for the winning hockey team? Stanley Cupcakes.

51. What did the Zamboni say to the hockey player? "Ice to meet you."

Hockey Game Jokes

Ready to drop the puck on a face-off of fun? From laugh-out-loud player puns to sports quips that'll have you chuckling faster than a slapshot, these funnies will turn you into the MVP of laughter.

It doesn't matter if you're a seasoned player, a dedicated fan, or just in the mood for a chuckle, these jokes are the perfect companions for game night.

52. What would a field hockey striker say on Halloween? "Hat Trick or Treat!"

53. What do you call a rapper's dog playing ice hockey? Scoop Dogg.

54. What did the captain of the ship say to the hockey player who was using the rowboat? "Bobby Orr."

55. Why are dragons not allowed to play ice hockey? They might melt the ice with their fiery breaths.

56. Why did the businessman fail to acquire a hockey stadium? His real estate agent could only give him a ball-park estimate.

57. How many NHL players can jump higher than a crossbar? All of them, because a crossbar can't jump.

58. What happened to the new ice hockey player, whose performance was not up to the mark? He got cold feet.

59. Heard about the young ice hockey player who accidentally got locked in the men's room? He was ice-o-lated.

60. What was the hockey player's reaction when he accidentally slipped and fell on the ice? He gave everyone the cold shoulder.

61. What were the two NHL players talking about? One of them said, "I had a great ice hockey joke, but it slipped my mind."

62. What did the coach say to the new hockey player? "I have my ice on you."

63. What did the hockey player say to his fan? "Icy that you have great taste."

64. What are your views regarding the new playing strategy used by the hockey team at today's match? Well, I must say, it was a well-thawed-out plan.

65. Why is it advised not to crack jokes while playing ice hockey? The ice might crack up.

66. What happened when the ice hockey referee made the wrong decision? The team wanted just-ice.

67. Why did the horse go to the hockey trials? He misheard it and thought it was a jockey trial.

68. What did the enforcer say to the hockey team? "Just checking."

69. What if potato chip companies launched air hockey? It would just be air and less hockey.

In the fast-paced, adrenaline-charged world of hockey, sometimes a good chuckle is just what you need to break the tension. From cheeky one-liners to playful puck puns, hockey jokes are as diverse and entertaining as the sport itself.

The best jokes are those shared in good spirits, bringing smiles without hurting anyone's feelings. So, next time you're with friends or at the rink, why not pull out one of these ice-melting zingers? Sharing a laugh might make someone's day.