85 Nut Puns That Walnut Disappoint

Danielle Outen
Apr 26, 2024 By Danielle Outen
Originally Published on Oct 28, 2020
Edited by Anusuya Mukherjee
Fact-checked by Martha Martins
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A cluster of green, fuzzy walnuts growing on a tree branch, surrounded by dark green leaves.



Get ready to crack up with some seriously nutty humor! This is a collection of the best nut puns that are sure to make you chuckle.

From cute and silly to clever and witty, these puns cover all sorts of nut-related topics. Some might even say they're a little 'nuts'! But don't worry, they're all good fun and suitable for all ages.

So, whether you're a fan of almonds, pecans, or pistachios. or just looking for a good laugh, these nut puns are sure to hit the spot. Get cracking and enjoy some hilarious nut-themed wordplay.

Walnut Puns

A burlap sack spilled over with whole and cracked walnuts on a wooden surface.

Get started with some puns about one of the most popular nuts around walnuts! These brain-shaped nuts are not only delicious and nutritious, but they also provide plenty of inspiration for some clever wordplay. From silly one-liners to witty phrases, these walnut puns are sure to crack you up.

1. What do you call a walnut that likes to exercise? A health nut.

2. Your secret is safe with me. I walnut give it away.

3. The pecan and the walnut are good friends because they are both nuts.

4. What did the squirrel say when it left? "I will start my journey today, and I walnut fail!"

5. I walnut forget your birthday, that's for sure.

6. What did the mama nut say to her son? "If I ever cashew doing that, I walnut be happy."

7. You walnut regret snacking on peanuts. They're good for you!

8. The police are finding it difficult to interrogate the suspected walnut because it's a tough nut to crack.

9. Knock, knock. Who's there? Walnut. Walnut who? I walnut tell you. It's a secret.

10. What did the walnut say to the cashew? "Don't go nuts, we're such a great bunch!"

11. Why do they send the walnuts to space? Because they make the best astronuts.

12. What is the best type of nut for your home wall decor? A walnut.

Cashew And Cashew Nut Puns

A close-up view of a pile of unsalted, raw cashew nuts.Shutterstock

Next up are some puns about the creamy, crunchy, and oh-so-delicious cashew. These kidney-shaped nuts are a favorite snack for many, and now they're also the star of some hilarious puns. Whether you prefer your cashews roasted, salted, or plain, these puns are sure to satisfy your funny bone.

13. Which nut is worth the most? A cash-ew.

14. What nut makes you sneeze? A ca-shew!

15. Cashew a question? Nut now!

16. Cashew see I'm nuts about you?

17. Hurry up, you better put your ca-shews on!

18. I must be rich because I have all the cash-ews.

19. I'll cashew later!

20. Which nut is the best at playing tag? Catch-yous, aka cashews.

21. Why did the nut go to the bank? To cashew its check.

22. How do you sum up a cashew? In a nutshell.

23. What did the peanut say to the cashew after their argument? "Imma cashew outside!"

24. The cashew called the peanut boring. The peanut felt very unsalted.

25. What do you call super expensive shoes? Cashews.

26. What do you call a cashew that meditates? Tranquil-nut!

Nut-Related Puns

A wooden bowl filled with shelled almonds, alongside a nutcracker and some whole almonds in shells on a wooden surface.Shutterstock

Ready to go nuts with some pun-tastic humor? Whether you're a fan of almonds, pecans, or just nutty jokes in general, this collection of puns is sure to bring some laughter. These puns, ranging from nutty personalities to nut-based products, will have you cracking up in no time.

27. What did one nut say to the other nut when it was chasing it? "I'm gonna cashew!"

28. How did the nut study for its test? It used the inter-nut.

29. What do you call a nut that likes chess? A chess-nut.

30. What happens to a peanut when it goes to space? It becomes an astro-nut.

31. Who named their daughter Macadamia? A couple of nuts.

32. The squirrel realized it was nuts when it was told, 'you are what you eat'.

33. Don't look! I can see you pecan through the window.

34. Which nut is the worst for your diet? Donuts.

35. The progress of the waiting line was pine-fully slow.

36. What competition do nuts participate in? The peanut butter cup.

37. Where do squirrels go for fun? Acorn-ival.

38. I will nut tell anyone about our secret stash of nuts.

39. What happens to a nervous nut? It cracks.

40. I want to tell you a peanut butter pun, but you might spread it around.

41. I'm nuts about you!

42. Nut-thing lasts forever, except my love for you!

43. Where do nuts live in West London? In Nut-tinghill.

44. A motivated nut is a pecan. Because pe-can do anything.

45. The peanut gained confidence and finally came out of its shell.

46. If I'm acting silly, I guess I'm acting like a nut.

47. You could say that our family is like fudge. Mostly sweet, with a few nuts!

48. How do you get a squirrel to be your friend? Act like a nut.

49. This is nut so solid. It's peanut brittle.

50. What do elephants drink on vacation? Peanut coladas.

51. Why did the boy leave his chestnuts in the rain? He wanted them rusted.

52. Why didn't the pecan go to the ballet? It was afraid of the nutcracker.

53. Why was there peanut butter in the middle of the road? It went with the traffic jam.

54. What eats nuts and bolts? A squirrel that's running late.

55. Where do nuts go for a quick energy boost? The nearest Shell station.

56. Knock, knock. Who's there? Butter. Butter who? I butter-nut tell you.

57 Why was the peanut butter upset at his retirement party? He was roasted.

58. Knock, knock. Who's there? Cash. Cash who? No thanks, I prefer walnuts.

59. Which nut has won the World Cup the most times? A Brazil nut.

60. Why did the squirrel ask for a pay raise? He was paid peanuts.

61. What's a nut's favorite Shakespeare line? "To be or nut to be."

62. What is a cowboy's favorite tree? A horse chestnut tree.

63. Why couldn't the peanut finish the project? Work came to a grinding halt.

64. What do you call an angry nut with a mustache? A pistachio.

65. Who answers the door at the peanut mansion? The peanut butler.

66. I have a pun, but I will nut-tella you!

67. A friend asked what an acorn is. I said, "In a nutshell, it's an oak tree."

68. I had fresh coconut the last time I went to Hawaii. It's a tough nut to crack.

69. Float like a butternut, sting like a bee.

70. What's a nut's favorite scary movie? 'The Creature From The Black Legume'.

71. Why was Officer Peanut Butter out on the road? Because he was directing a traffic jam.

72. Mr. and Mrs. Peanut finally got married and tied the nut.

73. What makes nuts healthy? They have many nut-rients.

Almond Puns

A wooden scoop and bowl filled with whole almonds on a dark textured background with a burlap fabric accent.

Last but not least, there are some puns about the ever-versatile almond! These oval-shaped nuts are not only tasty and healthy, but they also provide plenty of fodder for some seriously funny wordplay. From almond milk to almond butter, these puns cover all sorts of almond-related topics.

74. I must nut eat all the almonds!

75. Almonds make everything butter!

76. If you put ice cream on that nutty brownie, it becomes ala-mond.

77. The covered almond looked at the mirror, and it said, "That's me in a nutshell!".

78. Why did the almond go to the art gallery? It wanted to appreciate 'fine nuts'.

79. Don't panic; stay c-almond collected.

80. What did the nut say after being thrown in the oven? Almond fire!

81. Be careful not to get too close to almonds; they can be quite shellfish!

82. The almond was a real smarty nut, he aced all his tests!

83. Why was the almond tree on her last nerve? Because every one of her kids were nuts.

84. Did you hear about the almond farmer? He’s always cracking up.

85. Why did the almond become a teacher? It wanted to educate the nutty masses.

FAQs

Are these nut puns suitable for all ages?

Yes, these nut puns are family-friendly and appropriate for all ages. They're perfect for sharing with friends, family, and even kids who appreciate a good laugh.

Can these nut puns be used for social media captions or posts?

These nut puns make great captions for social media posts, especially if you're sharing photos of your favorite nut-based snacks or dishes.

Are there any nut puns that work well for specific occasions or holidays?

Some of these nut puns can be tailored to fit specific occasions or holidays. For example, you might use a festive walnut pun for Christmas or a playful almond pun for National Almond Day.

Can these nut puns be used for marketing or advertising purposes?

If you have a nut-related business or product, these puns could be a fun way to engage with your audience. However, make sure to use them tastefully and appropriately for your brand.

Can these nut puns be used in conversation or as ice-breakers?

Absolutely! Nut puns are a fantastic way to sprinkle some fun into conversations, lighten the mood, or just share a laugh with friends and family. They can be a perfect icebreaker or a quirky addition to your daily chats.

Just remember to gauge your audience to make sure they’re on board with a little nutty humor; after all, it's all about sharing a moment of joy!

Can I create my nut puns based on these examples?

These nut puns can serve as inspiration for creating your witty wordplay. Try combining nut names with common phrases, movie titles, or song lyrics to come up with your unique puns.

What are some of the most common types of nuts?

The most common types of nuts are walnuts, almonds, cashews, peanuts, pistachios, pecans, hazelnuts, and macadamia nuts.

From walnuts to cashews and almonds to nut-related wordplay, these puns prove that nuts are not only delicious and nutritious but also a great source of humor.

Whether you're looking to add some laughter to your day, share a giggle with friends and family, or spice up your social media posts, these nut puns are the perfect way to do it. They're fun, lighthearted, and sure to bring a smile to anyone's face.

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Sources

https://punsteria.com/almond-puns/

https://upjoke.com/almond-jokes

https://punsteria.com/cashew-puns/

https://www.livin3.com/nut-puns

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Written by Danielle Outen

Bachelor's degree specializing in Economics, Master's degree specializing in Development Management

Danielle Outen picture

Danielle OutenBachelor's degree specializing in Economics, Master's degree specializing in Development Management

Growing up in London, Danielle has a Bachelor's degree in Economics from the University of Southampton and a Master's degree in Development Management from the London School of Economics and Political Science (LSE). She has always been surrounded by a big family and loves outdoor activities and adventurous experiences. She has traveled the world in search of new waves to surf. Danielle enjoys discovering new and fun activities to share with her relatives.

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Fact-checked by Martha Martins

Bachelor of Arts specializing in Linguistics

Martha Martins picture

Martha MartinsBachelor of Arts specializing in Linguistics

Martha is a full-time creative writer, content strategist, and aspiring screenwriter who communicates complex thoughts and ideas effectively. She has completed her Bachelor's in Linguistics from Nasarawa State University. As an enthusiast of public relations and communication, Martha is well-prepared to substantially impact your organization as your next content writer and strategist. Her dedication to her craft and commitment to delivering high-quality work enables her to create compelling content that resonates with audiences.

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