72 Nut Puns That Walnut Disappoint

Danielle Outen
Dec 12, 2023 By Danielle Outen
Originally Published on Oct 28, 2020
Fact-checked by Isobel Murphy
Eastern American Black Walnut fruit
Age: 0-99
Read time: 5.8 Min

Why Nut Puns?

Nuts are an all-time favorite crunchy snack, whether in peanut butter or chocolate bars. Did you know that while are 11 varieties of nut trees, only four (walnut, pecan, chestnut, and hazelnut) bear edible seeds?

In a scientific sense, nuts are technically seeds with husks and shells; however, certain kinds are considered fruits, such as chestnuts, hazelnuts, and acorns. Rich in fiber and protein, nuts are always present in a healthy diet. Eating nuts have a handful of benefits, which include reduced blood clots and lower cholesterol levels.

Suffice it to say; nuts are nutritious! There are many kinds of culinary nuts in the market. Walnuts are considered the most popular kind, while peanuts are the most consumed groundnut, and almonds take the crown as the most consumed tree nut.

In a nutshell, these clever lines are effortlessly funny. You pe-can't go wrong when you share these nut puns.

What Parents Need To Know

Nut puns will help your kids enjoy eating nuts without making tantrums.

These puns would encourage your kids to have nut-filled, healthy, and delicious snacks.

Saying pun is a fun way of opening your kid's mind to try a variety of snacks, even if they are adamant.

What To Discuss With Kids

Nuts are healthy as they are filled with fibers, proteins, and healthy fats.

There are around 11 different nuts worldwide with unique and delicious flavors.

Almonds need honeybees to pollinate, walnuts are the oldest known tree food dating back to 10,000 BC, and peanuts account for two-thirds of the nut consumption (approximately 66.67%).

Nut puns would spread laughter and make you look smarter around your friends and family.

Walnut Puns

Juglans nigra, the eastern black walnut.

1. What do you call a walnut that likes to exercise? A health nut.

2. Your secret is safe with me. I walnut give it away.

3. I will start my journey today, and I walnut fail.

4. If I hang this on the wall, is it called a walnut?

5. The pecan and the walnut are good friends because they are both nuts.

6. What did the squirrel say when it left? I will start my journey today, and I walnut fail!

7. I walnut forget your birthday, that's for sure.

8. What did the mama nut say to her son? If I ever cashew doing that, I walnut be happy.

9. You walnut regret snacking on peanuts. They're good for you!

10. The police are finding it difficult to interrogate the suspected walnut because it's a tough nut to crack.

11. Knock, knock. Who's there? Walnut. Walnut who? I walnut tell you. It's a secret.

Cashew Puns

12. What did the nut say, chasing the other nut? I will cashew.

13. Which nut is worth the most? A cash-ew.

14. What nut makes you sneeze? A ca-shew!

15. Cashew a question? Nut now!

16. Cashew see I'm nuts about you?

17. Hurry up, you better put your ca-shews on!

18. I must be rich because I have all the cash-ews.

19. I'll cashew later!

20. Which nut is the best at playing tag? Catch-yous, aka cashews.

21. Why did the nut go to the bank? To cashew its check.

22. How do you sum up a cashew? In a nutshell.

23. What did the peanut say to the cashew after their argument? Imma cashew outside!

24. The cashew called the peanut boring. The peanut felt very unsalted.

25. What do you call super expensive shoes? Cashews.

Nut-Related Puns

26. How did the nut study for its test? It used the inter-nut.

27. What do you call a nut that likes chess? A chess-nut.

28. What happens to a peanut when it goes to space? It becomes an astro-nut.

29. Who named their daughter Macadamia? A couple of nuts.

30. What would Hamlet say if he was a squirrel? To be or nut to be!

31. The squirrel realized it was nuts when it was told, 'you are what you eat'.

32. Don't look! I can see you pecan through the window.

33. Which nut is the worst for your diet? Donuts.

34. The progress of the waiting line was pine-fully slow.

35. What competition do nuts participate in? The peanut butter cup.

36. Where do squirrels go for fun? The acorn-ival.

37. I will nut tell anyone about our secret stash of nuts.

38. What happens to a nut when it is nervous? It cracks.

39. I want to tell you a peanut butter pun, but you might spread it around.

40. I'm nuts about you!

41. Nut-thing lasts forever, except my love for you!

42. Where do nuts live in West London? In Nut-tinghill.

43. A motivated nut is a pecan. Because pe-can do anything.

44. The peanut gained confidence and finally came out of its shell.

45. If I'm acting silly, I guess I'm acting like a nut.

46. You could say that our family is like fudge. Mostly sweet, with a few nuts!

47. How do you get a squirrel to be your friend? Act like a nut.

48. This is nut so solid. It's peanut brittle.

49. What do elephants drink on vacation? Peanut coladas.

50. Why did the boy leave his chestnuts in the rain? He wanted them rusted.

51. Why didn't the pecan go to the ballet? It was afraid of the nutcracker.

52. Why was there peanut butter in the middle of the road? It went with the traffic jam.

53. What eats nuts and bolts? A squirrel that's running late.

54. Knock, knock. Who's there? Butter. Butter who? I butter-nut tell you.

55. Why was the peanut butter upset at his retirement party? He was roasted.

56. Knock, knock. Who's there? Cash. Cash who? No thanks, I prefer walnuts.

57. Which nut has won the World Cup the most times? A Brazil nut.

58. Why did the squirrel ask for a pay raise? He was paid peanuts.

59. What's a nut's favorite Shakespeare line? "To be or nut to be."

60. Why couldn't the peanut finish the project? Work came to a grinding halt.

61. What do you call an angry nut with a mustache? A pistachio.

62. Who answers the door at the peanut mansion? The peanut butler.

63. I have a pun, but I will nut-tella you!

64. A friend asked what an acorn is. I said, "In a nutshell, it's an oak tree."

65. I had fresh coconut the last time I went to Hawaii. It's a tough nut to crack.

66. Float like a butternut, sting like a bee.

Almond Puns

67. I must nut eat all the almonds!

68. If you put ice cream on that nutty brownie, it becomes ala-mond.

69. The covered almond looked at the mirror, and it said, "That's me in a nutshell!".

70. What happens when almonds die? They di-amond.

71. Don't panic; stay c-almond collected.

72. What did the nut say after being thrown in the oven? Almond fire!

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Written by Danielle Outen

Bachelor's degree specializing in Economics, Master's degree specializing in Development Management

Danielle Outen picture

Danielle OutenBachelor's degree specializing in Economics, Master's degree specializing in Development Management

Growing up in London, Danielle has a Bachelor's degree in Economics from the University of Southampton and a Master's degree in Development Management from the London School of Economics and Political Science (LSE). She has always been surrounded by a big family and loves outdoor activities and adventurous experiences. She has traveled the world in search of new waves to surf. Danielle enjoys discovering new and fun activities to share with her relatives.

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Fact-checked by Isobel Murphy

Bachelor of Arts specializing in History

Isobel Murphy picture

Isobel MurphyBachelor of Arts specializing in History

With a love for exploring cities and finding outdoor spaces to enjoy, Isobel has spent her life exploring various cities in the UK, from her hometown of Surrey to Birmingham where she studied history for three years. She is passionate about sports and enjoys watching and playing, as well as baking and spending quality time with her loved ones.

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