55 Funny Harry Potter Quotes That Still Make Us Laugh
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Loyal Harry Potter fans remember line after line from the books or movies at Hogwarts, the wizarding school where Harry Potter learns and makes friends for life.
Ron, Hermione, Hagrid, and others treated Harry Potter more like family than just friends. They are all some of the warmest and good people in the story too.
'Harry Potter' is a story about good versus evil. Every character has a battle internally as well as externally.
However, a book for children is incomplete without some fun and jokes, and the entire 'Harry Potter' series has plenty of them. If you want to wish good luck to Harry Potter, you could ask for the potion "Felix Felicis" which is the good luck potion.
Or you may also ask him to teach you to play Quidditch if you are lucky enough.
The 'Harry Potter' series is set in the wizarding world and is filled with funny, warm, poignant moments between friends, teachers and students, family members, elders, and children. The 'Harry Potter' series has a great emotional range and can entertain generations of readers and so continues to do it.
Such is the timelessness of these stories. Harry Potter doesn't really have a catchphrase but many think it is "I solemnly swear I am up to no good."
If you enjoy this article of funny Harry Potter quotes, you might also enjoy these Dumbledore quotes and short Harry Potter quotes.
Very Funny Harry Potter Movie Quotes
Rubeus Hagrid is a great friend, this young and old friendship reveals that friendship has no age and he is one of the nicest characters in the series. We can be friends with anyone if our hearts and minds meet.
Friendship is the theme of various funny 'Harry Potter' book quotes. On top of that no selection of funny quotes can be complete without Fred quotes and George quotes. Read this post for some funny quotes from Harry Potter.
1. “Yeah, Quirrell was a great teacher. There was just that minor drawback of him having Lord Voldemort sticking out of the back of his head!”
- J.K. Rowling, 'Harry Potter And The Order Of The Phoenix'.
2. “Ron: (stubbornly) I’m never wearing them. Never.
Mrs. Weasley: (snapped) Fine. Go naked. And, Harry, make sure you get a picture of him. Goodness knows I could do with a laugh.”
- 'Harry Potter And The Goblet Of Fire'.
3. “The idea of a teenage Dumbledore was simply odd, like trying to imagine a stupid Hermione or a friendly Blast-Ended Skrewt.”
- J.K. Rowling, 'Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows'.
4. “Why are you worrying about you-know-who, when you should be worrying about you-no-poo? The constipation sensation that’s gripping the nation!”
- Ron, 'Harry Potter And The Half-Blood Prince'.
5. “Don’t put your wand there, boy! … Better wizards than you have lost buttocks, you know.”
- Professor McGonagall, 'Harry Potter And The Order Of The Phoenix'.
6. “You’re a little scary sometimes, you know that? Brilliant ... but scary.”
- Ron Weasley, 'Harry Potter And The Sorcerer's Stone'.
7. “Percy wouldn't notice a joke if it danced naked in front of him wearing one of Dobby's hats.”
- J.K. Rowling, 'Harry Potter And The Goblet Of Fire'.
8. “I think we’ve outgrown full-time education ... Time to test our talents in the real world, d’you reckon?”
- Fred Weasley, 'Harry Potter And The Order Of The Phoenix'.
9. “Every human life is worth the same and worth saving.”
-Kingsley Shacklebolt, 'Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows'.
10. “He can run faster than Severus Snape confronted with shampoo.”
- Fred Weasley, 'Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows'.
11. “Mr. and Mrs. Dursley, of number four Privet Drive, were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much.”
- J.K. Rowling, 'Harry Potter And The Philosopher’s Stone'.
12. “We did it, we bashed them, wee Potter’s the one, and Voldy’s gone moldy, so now let’s have fun!”
- Peeves, 'Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows'.
13. “You know, Minister, I disagree with Dumbledore on many counts ... but you cannot deny he’s got style.”
- Phineas Nigellus Black, 'Harry Potter And The Order Of The Phoenix'.
14. “The toilet’s never had anything as horrible as your head down it— it might be sick.”
- Moaning Myrtle, 'Harry Potter And The Sorcerer's Stone'.
15. “Mr. Moony presents his compliments to Professor Snape, and begs him to keep his abnormally large nose out of other people's business.
Mr. Prongs agrees with Mr. Moony, and would like to add that Professor Snape is an ugly git.
Mr. Padfoot would like to register his astonishment that an idiot like that ever became a professor.
Mr. Wormtail bids Professor Snape good day, and advises him to wash his hair, the slimeball.”
- J.K. Rowling, 'Harry Potter And The Prisoner Of Azkaban'.
16. “Mrs. Weasley let out a shriek just like Hermione’s.
I don’t believe it! Oh, Ron, how wonderful! A prefect! That’s everyone in the family!
What are Fred and I, next-door neighbours? said George indignantly, as his mother pushed him aside and flung her arms around her youngest son.”
- 'Harry Potter And The Order Of The Phoenix'.
17. “What do you see when you look in the Mirror?
I? I see myself holding a pair of thick, woollen socks.
Harry stared.
One can never have enough socks, said Dumbledore. Another Christmas has come and gone and I didn’t get a single pair. People will insist on giving me books.”
- 'Harry Potter And The Philosopher’s Stone'.
18. “It’s lucky it’s dark. I haven’t blushed so much since Madam Pomfrey told me she liked my new earmuffs.”
- Rubeus Hagrid, 'Harry Potter And The Sorcerer's Stone'.
19. “He seems like a very good teacher, said Hermione approvingly. But I wish I could have had a turn with the boggart".
- J.K. Rowling, 'Harry Potter And The Prisoner Of Azkaban'.
20. “Welcome to a new year at Hogwarts! Before we begin our banquet, I would like to say a few words. And here they are: Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!”
- Professor Dumbledore, 'Harry Potter And The Sorcerer's Stone'.
Funny And Clever Harry Potter Quotes
Funniest Harry Potter quotes are enjoyed by fans of all ages. Whether it be the 'Half-Blood Prince' or 'The Chamber Of Secrets', the thing is that this story is full of funny quotes. Read on for some funny Harry Potter quotes that will let you laugh many more times.
21. “But I am the Chosen One.” Hermione whacks him over the head with a roll of parchment. “Okay ... kidding.”
- Harry Potter, 'Harry Potter And The Half-Blood Prince'.
22. “Right. I’m going down to Hagrid’s.”
- Harry Potter, 'Harry Potter And The Half-Blood Prince'.
23. “... And request that he keep his abnormally large nose out of other people’s business.”
- 'Harry Potter And The Prisoner Of Azkaban'.
24. “She questions his behaviour, and he comes up with the lame excuse, The binding is fragile. Hermione laughs. The binding is fragile? she repeats, incredulous, just as Ginny sneaks up behind him to take the book.”
- Hermione Granger, 'Harry Potter And The Half-Blood Prince'.
25. "Just because you have the emotional range of a teaspoon doesn’t mean we all have."
- Hermione Granger, 'Harry Potter And The Order Of The Phoenix'.
26. “We could all have been killed—or worse, expelled.”
- Hermione Granger, 'Harry Potter And The Sorcerer's Stone'.
27. “Honestly, woman, you call yourself our mother?”
- Fred And George Weasley, 'Harry Potter And The Sorcerer's Stone'.
28. “What exactly is the function of a rubber duck?”
- Arthur Weasley, 'Harry Potter And The Sorcerer's Stone'.
29. “Accio Brain!”
- Ron Weasley, 'Harry Potter And The Order Of The Phoenix'.
30. “I am a wizard, not a baboon brandishing a stick.”
- Professor Flitwick, 'Harry Potter And The Half-Blood Prince'.
31. “Perhaps it would be more useful if I were to transfigure Mr Potter and yourself into a pocket watch? That way, one of you might be on time.”
- Professor McGonagall, 'Harry Potter And The Sorcerer's Stone'.
32. "Ron: I dreamed I was buying new shoes last night. What d’ya think that’s gonna mean?
Harry: Probably that you’re going to be eaten by a giant marshmallow or something."
- J.K. Rowling, 'Harry Potter And The Prisoner Of Azkaban'.
33. “Why, dear boy, we don’t send wizards to Azkaban just for blowing up their aunts.”
- Cornelius Fudge, 'Harry Potter And The Prisoner Of Azkaban'.
34. “Just because it’s taken you three years to notice, Ron, doesn’t mean no one else has spotted I’m a girl!”
- Hermione Granger, 'Harry Potter And The Goblet Of Fire'.
35. “Because – oh shut up laughing, you two – because they've both just been turned down by girls they asked to the ball!"
- Ginny Weasley, 'Harry Potter And The Goblet Of Fire'.
Laugh Worthy Harry Potter Quotes
The Harry Potter stories proves that friends made in school stay with throughout our lives. Even though Harry Potter was an orphan, his friend Ron and his family made him always feel like a part of their family.
Did you know, Hermione Granger is not Voldermort's daughter? Here are some laughable Harry Potter quotes that will give you some really funny ideas to enjoy with your friends.
36. “Of course, it would be difficult. And dangerous, very dangerous.”
- Hermione Granger, 'Harry Potter And The Chamber Of Secrets'.
37. “These are mad times we live in! Mad!”
- Professor Horace Slughorn, 'Harry Potter And The Half-Blood Prince'.
38. “Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.”
– Albus Dumbledore, 'Harry Potter And The Prisoner Of Azkaban'.
39. “The mind is not a book to be opened at will and examined at leisure.”
- Severus Snape, 'Harry Potter And The Order Of The Phoenix'.
40. “I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.”
- Marauder’s Map, 'Harry Potter And The Prisoner Of Azkaban'.
41. “I solemnly swear I am up to no good.”
- Harry Potter, 'Harry Potter And The Prisoner Of Azkaban'.
42. “That’s what they should teach us here. How girls’ brains work… It would be more useful than divination, anyway…”
- Ron Weasley, 'Harry Potter And The Order Of The Phoenix'.
43. “From now on, I don’t care if my tea leaves spell, ‘Die, Ron, die,’ I’m chucking them in the bin where they belong.”
- Ron Weasley, 'Harry Potter And The Order Of The Phoenix'.
44. “Don’t let the muggles get you down.”
- Ron Weasley, 'Harry Potter And The Prisoner Of Azkaban'.
45. “How can I have hung round you for five years and not think girls are clever?”
- Ron Weasley, 'Harry Potter And The Half-Blood Prince'.
46. “Rita Skeeter: Congratulations, Harry! I wonder if you could give me a quick word?
Harry: Yeah, you can have a word. Good-bye.”
- 'Harry Potter And The Goblet Of Fire'.
47. “Well, he said, trying to sound as though he found the whole thing a joke, if you want to – er – what is it? (He checked Percy’s letter.) Oh yeah – ‘sever ties’ with me, I swear I won’t get violent.”
- Harry Potter, 'Harry Potter And The Order Of Phoenix'.
48. “Hermione: Harry, don’t go picking a row with Malfoy, don’t forget, he’s a prefect now, he could make life difficult for you.
Harry: Wow, I wonder what it’d be like to have a difficult life?"
- J.K. Rowling, 'Harry Potter And The Order Of Phoenix'.
49. “Mr. Dursley: You’re not allowed to do magic outside school.
Harry: Yeah? Try me.”
- J.K. Rowling, 'Harry Potter And The Prisoner Of Azkaban'.
50. “Hermione: The task is two days from now!
Harry Potter: Really? I had no idea.”
- J.K. Rowling, 'Harry Potter And The Goblet Of Fire'.
51. ‘Why are they all standing around that manky old boot?”
- Harry Potter, 'Harry Potter And The Goblet Of Fire'.
Here at Kidadl, we have carefully created lots of interesting family-friendly quotes for everyone to enjoy! If you liked our suggestions for funny Harry Potter quotes then why not take a look at Dobby quotes or 'Harry Potter' love quotes.
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Article image credit: s_bukley / Shutterstock.com
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Bachelor of Arts specializing in English and Drama, Master of Arts specializing in Performance: Design and Practice
Luca DemetriouBachelor of Arts specializing in English and Drama, Master of Arts specializing in Performance: Design and Practice
Experienced in writing and sub-editing, Luca holds a Bachelor's in English Literature and Drama from the University of Birmingham, where he served as the culture editor at Redbrick Paper. He is currently pursuing a Master's in Performance: Design and Practice at the University of the Arts in London, showcasing his passion for the arts, performance, and history. With a keen interest in traveling, Luca enjoys exploring new cultures and experiencing diverse perspectives.
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