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From jokes about snow to penguin puns, here are 60 of the best winter jokes.
These jokes will leave even the most frosty people with a smile!
1) What is the best kind of cereal to eat in winter? Frosted Flakes!
2) What can you catch with your eyes closed? A cold!
3) What do you get in December that you can't have in any other month? The letter "D"!
4) What do you call a penguin in the Sahara Desert? Lost!
5) What is an "ig"? An snow house without a loo!
6) Where do arctic seals go to see movies? The dive-in!
7) What do trees say after a long winter? What a re-leaf...
8) What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite!
9) What did the walrus say when it was late? Sorry, my iceberg hit a ship.
10) Why did the man put his money in the freezer? He wanted cold hard cash!
Ice Themed Jokes
Here are five of our favourite ice jokes to melt your heart.
11) What did the icy road say to the car? "Want to go for a spin?"
12) How do you know when it's too cold for a picnic? When you chip your tooth on the soup!
13) What is the Ice Queen's favourite cake? She doesn't mind the flavour as long as it has lots of frosting!
14) How does Jack Frost get to work? By icicle!
15) What do you call a cat on ice? One cool cat!
Wintery Knock Knock Jokes
When winter comes, will you answer the door? Here are five hilarious knock knock jokes to ward off the cold.
16) Knock knock.
17) Knock knock.
Scold out here, let me in!
18) Knock knock.
19) Knock knock.
Ken I stay home from school today? It's far too cold to go outside!
20) Knock knock.
Lettuce in, it's so cold outside!
Here are ten funny snow puns to lay on all your friends.
21) How do mountains stay warm in winter? They wear snowcaps!
22) What falls in winter but never gets hurt? Snow!
23) Why did the girl put her record player in the snow? She only listens to cool music!
24) How did the snow globe feel after listening to a scary story? A bit shaken up!
25) What kind of ball doesn't bounce? A snowball!
26) What do you call a slow skier? A slopepoke!
27) Why did the boy only wear one boot? There was a 50% chance of snow.
28) Where do skiers go to find an ATM? The snow bank!
29) What's a snowman's favourite school activity? Snow and tell!
30) How do you find Will Smith in the snow? You look for fresh prints!
What can you love more these fluffy, cute, flightless birds? Jokes about them of course!
31) Why do arctic seals and penguins not get along? They are polar opposites!
32) What do you call a penguin with no eye? A pengun!
33) Why are there no penguins in Britain? Because they're scared of Wales!
34) Why didn't the penguin jump off the iceberg? He got cold feet!
35) How does a group of penguins make a decision? They flipper coin!
36) What do penguins sing on a birthday? Freeze a jolly good fellow!
37) What kind of fish do penguins catch at night? Starfish!
38) What do penguins eat for lunch? Ice-burgers!
39) Who's the penguin's favourite relative? Aunt Arctica!
40) What did one penguin say to the other? Nothing, he just gave him the cold shoulder.
To finish off the list here are ten of the funniest Winter one liners that won't leave you hanging like an icicle.
41) What happens when winter arrives? Autumn leaves!
42) Did you know that a cyclops's favourite winter sport is sking? It's like skiing, but with one eye!
43) So far Humpty Dumpty is having a terrible winter... It's a shame because he had such a great fall!
44) Why do bees stay in the hive during winter? Swarm!
45) Why do birds fly to warmer climates in winter? It's easier than walking.
46) How do you stop getting cold feet in winter? You don't go around brr-footed!
47) What's the difference between an iceberg and a clothes brush? One brushes coats and the other crushes boats!
48) When are your eyes not eyes? When the winter wind makes them water!
49) Granny's been staring through the window since it started snowing. If it gets any colder I'll have to let her in!
50) The weather's so cold, I had to scrape ice off my windscreen with my supermarket loyalty card this morning. I only got 10% off.
Polar Bear Jokes
These next jokes are as warm and fuzzy as the polar bears they're about!
51) What's white, furry and shaped like a tooth? A molar bear!
52) What do polar bears have for lunch? Ice bergers!
53) What do you call a polar bear that's been out in the rain? A drizzly bear!
54) What do you call a polar bear on thin ice? An ice breaker!
55) When is a polar bear not a polar bear? When it's in a grizzly mood!
56) Did you hear about the sea lion that became friends with a polar bear? His fate was sealed!
57) What is white, minty and has a crisp bite? A polo bear!
58) What do you call a big mean polar bear? Don't call it anything, just RUN!
59) How do you put a polar bear into the freezer? Just open the doors, polar bears love cold places!
60) What do you get when you cross a polar bear and a rose? I'm not sure, but I wouldn't recommend smelling it!
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