13 Funniest 'The Santa Clause' Quotes From The Movie

Tim Allen plays Santa in 'The Santa Clause'.
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Who doesn't remember Tim Allen with his epic role as the man who offed the original Santa and had to begrudgingly fill in his, well, mighty big shoes!

With three blockbuster 'The Santa Clause' flicks to go back and watch to our heart's content at any time, it isn't much of a surprise that a fourth installment to 'The Santa Clause' series was never announced.

That said, we will always love the original 'Santa Clause' movie for its enthralling antics, touching storyline and for being the biggest bag of Christmas laughs that it came to be known for, all with the help of a stellar cast and some darn good writing. With a special mention going out to the Effective Liberating Flight Squad (which is what the elves are called in the movie), we think these Christmas movie quotes will surely entertain families all across the world, just like the movie did.

You might also want to check out our 'Home Alone' quotes and our 'Christmas Story' quotes.

Hilarious Quotes From 'The Santa Clause'

Santa Clause delivers gifts at Christmas.

Here are some funny Santa quotes to light up the house. These certainly aren't going to destroy your Christmas spirit!

1. "Scott Calvin: You know, I must say, you look pretty good for your age.

Judy the Elf: Thanks, but I'm seeing someone in wrapping."

2. "Scott Calvin: Hey, Charlie, you know how to call 911?

Charlie Calvin: Sure, 9... 1... 1..."

3. "Charlie Calvin: You said you believe in Santa Claus, right Dad?

Scott Calvin: I did? I do!"

4. "Neil Miller: May I speak, please? I am a doctor.

Scott Calvin: No he's not. He's a psychiatrist."

5. "Scott Calvin: Nothing, Bernard. I'm just saying good bye to Charlie.

Bernard the Elf: What goodbye? Charlie, you still got the glass ball I gave you right?

Charlie Calvin: Yeah.

Bernard the Elf: Well, all you got to do is shake it whenever you want to see your dad.

Charlie Calvin: Really?

Bernard the Elf: He can come back to visit anytime, day or night. Hey, have I ever steered you wrong?"

6. "Well isn't that a pretty picture, Santa rolling down the block in a Panzer! Well kids, I certainly hope you've been good this year, cause it looks like Santa just took out the Pearson home."

- Scott Calvin, 'The Santa Clause'.

7. "Scott Calvin: Great. I'll just go preheat the oven.

Charlie Calvin: And don't forget the fire extinguisher."

8. "Can we take a direct flight back to reality, or do we have to change planes in Denver?"

- Scott Calvin, 'The Santa Clause'.

Hilarious Tim Allen Quotes From 'The Santa Clause'

There are also reindeer characters in 'The Santa Clause' film.

Some comical quotes from Tim Allen, who plays Scott Calvin in the movie. Why not share one of these quotes on Christmas Eve or on a visit to the North Pole?

9. "Scott Calvin: Hey, kid, kid, who is in charge here?

Larry the Elf: You are! And I'm not a kid, I have pointy shoes that are older than you. I am an elf."

10. "Detective Nunzio: Look, I know you're Scott Calvin. You know you're Scott Calvin. So let's make this simple. I say name, you say Scott Calvin.

Detective Nunzio: Name?

Scott Calvin: Kris Kringle.

Detective Nunzio: Name?

Scott Calvin: Sinterklaas.

Detective Nunzio: Name...

Scott Calvin: Pere Noel. Babbo Natale. Pelznickel... Topo Gigio!

11. "Mr. Whittle : Good God... your weight... what happened?

Scott Calvin: Bee sting. Evidently I'm allergic. It almost killed me, but the guy at the emergency room said that eventually the swelling will go down... I hope."

12. "Bernard the Elf: Did you or did you not read the card?

Scott Calvin: Yeah I read the card.

Bernard the Elf: Then you are the new Santa. By putting on the hat and jacket you accepted the contract.

Scott Calvin: What contract?

Bernard the Elf: The card in the Santa suit. You said you read it right? So when you put on the suit, you fell subject to The Santa Clause.

Scott Calvin: "The Santa Claus?" You mean the guy that fell off my roof?

Bernard the Elf: No, no, no, not Santa Claus, the person. Santa Clause, the clause."

13. "Charlie, stay away from those things, they are reindeer. You don't know where they've been. They all look like they've got key lime disease."

- Scott Calvin, 'The Santa Clause'.

Here at Kidadl, we have carefully curated lots of interesting family-friendly quotes from books, movies, TV shows and influential figures, for everyone at home to enjoy! If you liked reading through the 12 Funniest 'The Santa Clause' quotes from the movie and are tempted to read more of 'The Santa Clause' movie quotes or would like to read some more funny movie quotes, then why not take a look at these 'A Christmas Carol' quotes or 'The Grinch' quotes?

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