13 Funniest 'The Santa Clause' Quotes From The Movie
Gallery
Who doesn't remember Tim Allen with his epic role as the man who offed the original Santa and had to begrudgingly fill in his, well, mighty big shoes!
With three blockbuster 'The Santa Clause' flicks to go back and watch to our heart's content at any time, it isn't much of a surprise that a fourth installment to 'The Santa Clause' series was never announced.
That said, we will always love the original 'Santa Clause' movie for its enthralling antics, touching storyline and for being the biggest bag of Christmas laughs that it came to be known for, all with the help of a stellar cast and some darn good writing.
With a special mention going out to the Effective Liberating Flight Squad (which is what the elves are called in the movie), we think these Christmas movie quotes will surely entertain families all across the world, just like the movie did.
You might also want to check out our Home Alone quotes and our Christmas Story quotes.
Hilarious Quotes From ‘The Santa Clause’
Here are some funny Santa quotes to light up the house. These certainly aren't going to destroy your Christmas spirit!
1. "Scott Calvin: You know, I must say, you look pretty good for your age.
Judy the Elf: Thanks, but I'm seeing someone in wrapping."
2. "Scott Calvin: Hey, Charlie, you know how to call 911?
Charlie Calvin: Sure, 9... 1... 1..."
3. "Charlie Calvin: You said you believe in Santa Claus, right Dad?
Scott Calvin: I did? I do!"
4. "Neil Miller: May I speak, please? I am a doctor.
Scott Calvin: No he's not. He's a psychiatrist."
5. "Scott Calvin: Nothing, Bernard. I'm just saying good bye to Charlie.
Bernard the Elf: What goodbye? Charlie, you still got the glass ball I gave you right?
Charlie Calvin: Yeah.
Bernard the Elf: Well, all you got to do is shake it whenever you want to see your dad.
Charlie Calvin: Really?
Bernard the Elf: He can come back to visit anytime, day or night. Hey, have I ever steered you wrong?"
6. "Well isn't that a pretty picture, Santa rolling down the block in a Panzer! Well kids, I certainly hope you've been good this year, cause it looks like Santa just took out the Pearson home."
- Scott Calvin, 'The Santa Clause'.
7. "Scott Calvin: Great. I'll just go preheat the oven.
Charlie Calvin: And don't forget the fire extinguisher."
8. "Can we take a direct flight back to reality, or do we have to change planes in Denver?"
- Scott Calvin, 'The Santa Clause'.
Hilarious Tim Allen Quotes From 'The Santa Clause'
Some comical quotes from Tim Allen, who plays Scott Calvin in the movie. Why not share one of these quotes on Christmas Eve or on a visit to the North Pole?
9. "Scott Calvin: Hey, kid, kid, who is in charge here?
Larry the Elf: You are! And I'm not a kid, I have pointy shoes that are older than you. I am an elf."
10. "Detective Nunzio: Look, I know you're Scott Calvin. You know you're Scott Calvin. So let's make this simple. I say name, you say Scott Calvin.
Detective Nunzio: Name?
Scott Calvin: Kris Kringle.
Detective Nunzio: Name?
Scott Calvin: Sinterklaas.
Detective Nunzio: Name...
Scott Calvin: Pere Noel. Babbo Natale. Pelznickel... Topo Gigio!
11. "Mr. Whittle : Good God... your weight... what happened?
Scott Calvin: Bee sting. Evidently I'm allergic. It almost killed me, but the guy at the emergency room said that eventually the swelling will go down... I hope."
12. "Bernard the Elf: Did you or did you not read the card?
Scott Calvin: Yeah I read the card.
Bernard the Elf: Then you are the new Santa. By putting on the hat and jacket you accepted the contract.
Scott Calvin: What contract?
Bernard the Elf: The card in the Santa suit. You said you read it right? So when you put on the suit, you fell subject to The Santa Clause.
Scott Calvin: "The Santa Claus?" You mean the guy that fell off my roof?
Bernard the Elf: No, no, no, not Santa Claus, the person. Santa Clause, the clause."
13. "Charlie, stay away from those things, they are reindeer. You don't know where they've been. They all look like they've got key lime disease."
- Scott Calvin, 'The Santa Clause'.
Here at Kidadl, we have carefully curated lots of interesting family-friendly quotes from books, movies, TV shows and influential figures, for everyone at home to enjoy!
If you liked reading through the 12 Funniest 'The Santa Clause' quotes from the movie and are tempted to read more of 'The Santa Clause' movie quotes or would like to read some more funny movie quotes, then why not take a look at these 'A Christmas Carol' quotes or 'The Grinch' quotes?
We Want Your Photos!
More for You
See All
A professional content writer hailing from Kolkata, India, with extensive experience in the corporate sector, Writvik Gupta has worked with several reputed companies, including ITC WelcomHotel Jodhpur, Bharti AXA Life Insurance, Aryan Imaging, and Eduquity. He also serves as a consultant for a startup based in Bangalore. With a passion for the outdoors, Writvik enjoys trekking and traveling to remote destinations. He also has a keen interest in exploring various cuisines and regularly volunteers for social causes.
Disclaimer
1) Kidadl is independent and to make our service free to you the reader we are supported by advertising. We hope you love our recommendations for products and services! What we suggest is selected independently by the Kidadl team. If you purchase using the Buy Now button we may earn a small commission. This does not influence our choices. Prices are correct and items are available at the time the article was published but we cannot guarantee that on the time of reading. Please note that Kidadl is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon. We also link to other websites, but are not responsible for their content.
2) At Kidadl, we strive to recommend the very best activities and events. We will always aim to give you accurate information at the date of publication - however, information does change, so it’s important you do your own research, double-check and make the decision that is right for your family. We recognise that not all activities and ideas are appropriate for all children and families or in all circumstances. Our recommended activities are based on age but these are a guide. We recommend that these ideas are used as inspiration, that ideas are undertaken with appropriate adult supervision, and that each adult uses their own discretion and knowledge of their children to consider the safety and suitability. Kidadl cannot accept liability for the execution of these ideas, and parental supervision is advised at all times, as safety is paramount. Anyone using the information provided by Kidadl does so at their own risk and we can not accept liability if things go wrong.
3) Because we are an educational resource, we have quotes and facts about a range of historical and modern figures. We do not endorse the actions of or rhetoric of all the people included in these collections, but we think they are important for growing minds to learn about under the guidance of parents or guardians.
