David Spade is a famous American actor, television host, writer, and stand-up comedian, famous for his funny and sarcastic roles in movies.
David Spade was the youngest of his three siblings. He was raised by his mother, Judith J. Meek, in Scottsdale, Arizona, after his parents' divorce.
Famous American actor David Spade began his acting career by performing stand-up comedies after dropping out of college.
During a performance in Los Angeles, David Spade was scouted by a talent agent, and soon, he was a cast member in the 1987 American comedy film 'Police Academy'. Since David Spade joined the movie industry, he has starred in notable films like 'Jack And Jill', 'Joe Dirt', and 'Grown Ups'.
David Spade has received several awards, including a Golden Raspberry award, induction into the Hollywood Walk Of Fame, Golden Globe nominations, and a Primetime Emmy Awards nomination.
David Spade Movie Quotes
(David Spade movie quotes are motivational for everyone.)
David Spade once had an automobile accident; the next week, he was partying with friends. Check out these awesome David Spade movie quotes from his famous movies like 'Joe Dirt,' 'Tommy Boy,' and 'The wrong Missy.'
"Stayed up and watched a little spanktrovision. It’s the American way. There’s really nothing wrong with spanktrovision. One of the best inventions of the 1900s, 20th century."
"Sometimes when I watch a TV season, your favorite shows die quickly. And then sometimes it’s not your favorite, and they live on for 12 years."
"Life is too short to waste doing nothing, make every day count because we all don’t know when we will leave this world. Cherish every moment you have with loved ones and never regret anything in life because everything happens for a reason."
"35 years on this planet, not one STD. First chink in the armour, Mr. perfect is not so perfect. People who don’t drink always have a story. Nothing you could do would disappoint me; I love you."
- 'The Wrong Missy'.
"And at that moment I thought I might just lie there and never get up. I would just sit there and rot there, but then I looked up and saw the Moon and got this weird feeling that Brandi was looking up at that same moon."
- 'Joe Dirt'.
"I think the chances are better of me putting Super Unleaded into a rented car."
"You know who else I don't get? Vin Diesel. I mean, is he good-looking? Is he Chinese, or what? I mean, I don't know."
- 'Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star', Dickie Roberts.
"Never date a woman who pays her rent in singles."
- 'Lost & Found', Dylan Ramsey.
"I've had it where things didn't go well for me with movies or something that got canceled."
-September 5, 2003, www.ign.com, Steve Head.
"It's good to do stand-up. It kind of wakes you up and makes you feel like you're doing something. You got the crowd right there. That's all fun."
- April 3, 2006, www.movieweb.com, Evan Jacobs.
"Kicking Wing: Good stuff? This is the good stuff, snakes and sparklers.
Joe Dirt: Are you nuts dude? You need stuff that'll explode. Go boom!
Kicking Wing: Why is that good?
Joe Dirt: Well, huh, might as, might as well ask why is a tree good? Why is the sunset good?"
- April 11, 2001, 'Joe Dirt'.
"I want to get back to my fighting weight of 98 pounds. I have the exact measurements of that guy from the movie, Powder. Right now, I am the reigning West Coast Powder."
"I never have kids in movies or in TV shows."
-September 5 2003, www.ign.com, Steve Head.
"I've got people who like Tommy Boy, but they're getting older and there's a whole new wave of college kids who see that, and Joe Dirt, and Just Shoot Me is a little older, so I wanted stuff for everybody."
Famous David Spade Quotes
(These famous quotes by David Spade are super amazing.)
As a child, David Spade was so clever in grade school that he was promoted from second grade to fourth grade. Explore these famous David Spade quotes to gain insight into his life and motivate yourself.
"I want to get away from it all. Move to the sticks. Montana. Hundreds of miles from civilization. Get a cabin in the snow. Curl up with some cute girl. Say stuff to her like, Scream all you want, sugar. Ain’t nobody gonna hear you!"
"It’s just easier to make fun and cut down. It’s kind of a way of life in America. If you can make people want to hear what you’re going to say, it can be cruel and funny."
- February 25, 1998, www.washingtonpost.com, Lloyd Grove.
"When I'm interviewed on Leno, just be funny, period. That's all they want from me. I don't want to tell my life story."
"It wasn’t a cutdown to call someone a Mexican. It would kill my career to refer to someone as Mexican today. It’s like calling me an American."
"To make money I picked up work as a busboy, valet parker, skateboard shop employee."
"As boys get older, they can't let on that it's cool to meet me."
"I don't like throwing myself in a place that's going to rock my world."
"Hopefully, underlying all my jokes is an element of surprise."
"I have two skateboards, but I don't get to use them much. I have a snowboard, which I've never used."
"There are too many fawning entertainments shows out there and not one of them is making fun of it all."
- June 20, 2005, www.today.com.
"I only have one note, let's be honest. But I'll play a different version of that one note."
"Bill Murray I always liked. I'm not as good as him, but there's a quality in him that I like. And then there's DeNiro, I'll never be that."
"People come and go around you, but you’re never the one getting the big stuff. I like that."
"I feel like I've got this anti-marriage thing, but it's less that and more I'm overthinking it to get it right."
"It’s just a campy blast. I just want to do as little as I can and make it good, and try not to sell out. I’m sure I will, but I’m just trying to postpone it."
"The hard part about SNL is, there's no real communication when you get there. It's not like people are mean to you, they just act like you're not there."
"And then, when I got to high school, my older brother was cool, so I was suddenly cool by association. And I totally dusted all my old math friends. I was, like, "Hey, nerds, why don't you go do some flashcards? Hey, c'mon, new friends, let's go to assembly!"
- February 25, 1998, www.washingtonpost.com, Lloyd Grove.
"On Sundays, I lay low, sulk a lot, and try to get my head together for next week."
"A little Everclear punch. We had Everclear punch. Everclear is like 3000 proof grain alcohol. Illegal in 44 states. Makes a nice little mixer. Put it with Hawaiian Punch you got a nice little cordial. Girls are like, I can't even taste it. We know."
"You're gonna stand there, owning fireworks stand, and tell me you don't have no whistling bungholes, no spleen splitters, whisker biscuits, honkey lighters, hoosker dos, hoosker don'ts, cherry bombs, nipsy daisers, with or without the scooter stick, or one single whistling kitty chaser?"
- 2001, 'Joe Dirt'.
"Seriously, you don't have to know English. It'd be nice, a nice little plus. We don't want miracles. You don't have to know the country's language. But just some shapes, that's all. A square. A little geometry."
- April 17, 1998, 'David Spade: Take The Hit', IMDb.
Short David Spade Quotes
Read these short and funny David Spade quotes to light up your day and make you laugh.
"I’m always making fun of myself and my friends."
"Whenever you get on the plane, the flight attendant will always tell you the name of your pilot. Like anyone goes, Oh, he’s good."
"It's hard for your mom to tell you she has an oral fixation and has to have something in her mouth. My stepdad is in the kitchen winking at me. You down with OPP, yeah you know me."
- April 17, 1998, 'David Spade: Take The Hit', IMDb.
"Birthday Week should be a movie starring Kristen Wiig, not an actual thing you are desperately trying to organize for your life."
"There are a couple of hard things. One, getting a funny idea that people can relate to; a funny idea or a funny script; there are a million pitches."
"My fellow nerds and I will retire to the nerdery with our calculators."
- 'Tommy Boy', Richard Hayden.
"It's so crazy in Hollywood."
"I'm scared of slipping up, of just doing a joke that makes me laugh."
"I can see getting married and having a family because it is the next thing on the agenda. You can only do this for so long. I'm old, and my friends all have kids. And I'm single, still blow drying my hair!"
"You know the drill. 18 is legal. 17 with consent. 16 with a note. 15 if her dad's in the room. Low five!"
- April 17, 1998, 'David Spade: Take The Hit', IMDb.
"You know, you want to pull in a wide audience."
"There's always something funny about men chasing women."
"You can either look at things in a brutal, truthful way that’s depressing, or you can screw around and have fun."
"I have no stories to sell. A lot of my relationships are with civilians, and no one wants to hear about those."
"I have no detectable hairstyle."
"It's great to tell people you have your own show, but that's where the fun stops."
"Ugh, I can actually hear you getting fatter."
- 'Tommy Boy', Richard Hayden.
"I wish I had that carefree lifestyle. But I guess I’m more private, and more inside."
"I talk to my dad all the time, he's more like my buddy than my father, and he's not happy that I use him in my act. But I tell him, I have to get something out of this."
Best David Spade Quotes
David Spade has a high-pitched sarcastic voice and is very humorous. During one of his stand-up comedy shows, David Spade made a hilarious joke about a pilot and a flight attendant. Here are some of the best David Spade quotes to make you smile.
(Vlos Angeles Jan 12 David Spade Stock Photo 171142127 | Shutterstock).
"I’m a gentleman and I was always taught it’s rude to talk about a woman’s age or weight unless you are breaking up with her."
"I’ve got to get on myself to be sharp, funny, and loose."
"How do you lay low but still do your job? Try to stay out there without being out there like Jenny McCarthy?"
"I sometimes feel I have a kinship with Dave Grohl, because both of the guys we were very close to got famous very quickly and then died, and we stuck around to field questions about them for the rest of our lives. It is an honor, but not an easy one sometimes."
- October 27, 2015, 'David Spade: Almost Interesting'.
"In grade school I was smart, but I didn’t have any friends. In high school, I quit being smart and started having friends."
"Everyone is so weird in L.A. that if you're somewhat normal, it's exotic."
- June 24, 2008, www.today.com, Ree Hines.
"Life's a garden, dig it."
"To be famous and broke is hard."
"Look, children, it's a falling star. Make a wish!"
"Yeah, yeah...we all read that in 'Who Cares' magazine."
"I'm just lucky to know someone that's that sweet and pretty."
"Now that I have the opportunities to do a lot, I want to do less."
"I started doing the star turn and making a profit off it. Now I'm kind of one of them."
"When my stepfather died, I just kind of fell apart. I felt pretty vulnerable like there literally could be no tomorrow."
"Gossip is a plague that consumes weak, gullible people and blinds them to the truth of reality; it can devour entire cities. I prefer keeping my eyes wide open."
"Never tickle a girl when she has diarrhea."
"I never dated much in high school or college."
"If I try to cover too much ground, you start to get watered down and less interesting."
"With Saturday Night Live you're looking for any hook, any way to stay on the show."
"It's brutal. I see friends when their shows don't work. Everything's riding on making money and all the pressure and how people scatter when fortunes turn downward."
"When I started, I'd fly across the country to do a gig for a hundred bucks."
"I was a somewhat bright child, which led to different sorts of problems. In second grade, I moved up to fourth-grade math and reading. There was an option to skip a grade but I was so tiny and microscopic that my mom was, like, 'He has enough now, let's not make his life totally terrible."
"No one wants to know I set my alarm and get up 8, but I think it's too weird to sleep in too late."
Editorial credit: lev radin / Shutterstock.com
