25 Funny Bible Quotes That Kids Will Love

Divya Raghav
Dec 12, 2023 By Divya Raghav
Originally Published on Mar 14, 2021
Edited by Isobel Murphy
Woman holding a bible

The Bible is important in the Christian religion, as it guides Christians and helps them to get closer to God.

But sometimes, if you're paying special attention to the verses, you'll realize there are also some funny moments in there. You might not expect to laugh when reading a holy book, but these funny Bible quotes show that it is possible.

Funny Bible quotes are a great, accessible way for Christians to encourage kids to read and take an interest in the Bible. Through discovering some funny Bible quotes, kids may be more excited to go to Church or to read other biblical passages and learn important lessons from them.

So, if you are looking for some funny quotes for Church or funny quotes from the Bible, we have gathered a list of some uncommon biblical verses from the Bible. These are 25 funny quotes and funny Bible verses. If you like these funny Bible verses, why not check out these [funny Confucius quotes] and Easter Bible quotes too?

Funny Bible Verses To Lookout For

Are you looking for the best Bible verses? Here are some funny quotes from the Bible that might just leave the whole family laughing!

Humor is a funny thing, we all share it, but we all have our own unique version of it. Does your humor extend to these funny Bible quotes? Why not have a read of this list of funny quotes for Church to find out?

A man holding bible in hand

1. "Jesus also did many other things. If they were all written down, I suppose the whole world could not contain the books that would be written."

- John 21:25.

2. "From there Elisha went up to Bethel. As he was walking along the road, some boys came out of the town and jeered at him. 'Get out of here, baldy!' they said. 'Get out of here, baldy!'.

-2 Kings 2:23.

3. "Like a gold ring in a pig’s snout is a beautiful woman who shows no discretion."

-Proverbs 11:22.

4. "Your teeth are whiter than sheep freshly washed; they match perfectly, not one is missing."

-Song Of Solomon 4:2.

5. "The Lord said, 'If as one people speaking the same language they have begun to do this, then nothing they plan to do will be impossible for them. Come, let us go down and confuse their language so they will not understand each other."

- Genesis 11:3-7.

6. "Then the Lord spoke to the sea creature, and it spewed Jonah onto the dry land."

-Jonah 2:10.

7. "The rich can be sued for everything they have, but the poor are free of such threats."

-Proverbs 13:8.

8. "Better to live alone in a tumbledown shack than share a mansion with a nagging spouse."

-Proverbs 21:9.

9. "Now it came about after these things, that it was told Abraham, saying, ‘Behold, Milcah also has borne children to your brother Nahor: Uz his firstborn and Buz his brother."

-Genesis 22:20-21.

10. "He turned around, looked at them, and called down a curse on them in the name of the Lord. Then two bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the boys."

-2 Kings 2:24.

Funny Bible Quotes Out Of Context

Have you enjoyed all of the funny Bible quotes so far? Humor is, of course perceptive, but sometimes a verse, when you take it out of context, becomes hilarious and you will never see it the same way again.

For encouraging kids to enjoy reading the Bible, some short snappy, and (out of context) funny quotes can be the perfect starting point! Will any of these funny Bible quotes make you or your kids giggle?

11. "Behold, thou art fair, my love; behold, thou art fair; thou hast doves’ eyes within thy locks: thy hair is as a flock of goats, that appear from mount Gilead."

-Song of Solomon 4:1.

12. "I will accept no bull from your house."

-Psalm 50:9.

13. "As a dog returns to its vomit, so a fool repeats his folly."

-Proverbs 26:11.

14. "Gird up now thy loins like a man; for I will demand of thee, and answer thou me."

-Job 38:3.

15. "Then thou shalt cut off her hand, thine eye shall not pity her."

-Deuteronomy 25:11.

16. "He who blesses his friend with a loud voice early in the morning, it will be reckoned a curse to him."

-Proverbs 27:14.

17. "Seated in a window was a young man named Eutychus, who was sinking into a deep sleep as Paul talked on and on."

- Acts 20:9.

18. "... please, leave these men alone, for they are my guests and are under my protection."

-Genesis 19:8.

19. "Until the cities be wasted without inhabitant, and the houses without man, and the land be utterly desolate."

-Isaiah 6:11.

20. "Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God."

-Corinthians 10:31.

21. "The lookout reported, 'He has reached them, but he isn't coming back either. The driving is like that of Jehu son of Nimshi- for he drives furiously.'"

-Kings 9:20.

22. "If only you would be altogether silent! For you, that would be wisdom."

-Job 13:5.

23. "Give strong drink unto him that is ready to perish, and wine unto those that be of heavy hearts."

-Proverbs 31:6.

24. "I will bring distress on mankind, so that they shall walk like the blind, because they have sinned against the Lord; their blood shall be poured out like dust, and their flesh like dung."

-Zephaniah 1:16.

25. "My bowels, my bowels! I am pained at my very heart; my heart maketh a noise in me; I cannot hold my peace, because thou hast heard, O my soul, the sound of the trumpet, the alarm of war."

-Jeremiah 4:19.

Here at Kidadl, we have carefully created lots of interesting family-friendly quotes for everyone to enjoy! If you liked our suggestions for 25 funny Bible quotes that kids will love, why not look at these Christian quotes about love or thank you God quotes too?

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Written by Divya Raghav

Bachelor of Commerce specializing in Accounting and Finance, Master of Business Administration

Divya Raghav picture

Divya RaghavBachelor of Commerce specializing in Accounting and Finance, Master of Business Administration

With a diverse range of experience in finance, administration, and operations, Divya is a diligent worker known for her attention to detail. Born and raised in Bangalore, she completed her Bachelor's in Commerce from Christ University and is now pursuing an MBA at Narsee Monjee Institute of Management Studies, Bangalore. Along with her professional pursuits, Divya has a passion for baking, dancing, and writing content. She is also an avid animal lover who dedicates her time to volunteering for animal welfare causes.

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