Father's Day is a time to honor and celebrate the special men in our lives who have always been there for us.
From silly jokes and funny one-liners to heartfelt advice and support, fathers play a vital role in our upbringing and development.
As we celebrate Father's Day, it is only fitting that we share some funny and light-hearted quotes to show our appreciation and love for our dads. These humorous quotes capture the joy, love, and laughter that dads bring into our lives and make for a perfect way to kick off a fun and memorable Father's Day.
So, whether you are looking for a laugh or just want to put a smile on your dad's face, these funny Father's Day quotes are sure to do the trick.
Cheerful & Funny Happy Father's Day Quotes
Celebrate Father's Day with a smile on your face and a chuckle in your heart with these cheerful and funny Happy Father's Day quotes.
"There should be a children's song: 'If you're happy and you know it, keep it to yourself and let your dad sleep."
– Jim Gaffigan.
"When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant, I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years."
- Mark Twain.
"I only hope when I have my own family that every day, I see a little more of my father in me."
- Keith Urban.
"I learn things from my kids constantly. Most of their knowledge comes from Snapple caps."
- Jimmy Kimmel.
"When my father didn't have my hand, he had my back."
- Linda Poindexter
"Having a kid is like falling in love for the first time when you're 12, but every day."
- Mike Myers.
"The imprint of a father remains forever on the life of the child."
- Roy Lessin.
"The nature of fatherhood is that you're doing something that you're unqualified to do, and then you become qualified when you do it."
- John Green.
"No man stands taller than when he stoops to help a child."
- Abraham Lincoln.
"Men should always change diapers. It's a very rewarding experience. It's mentally cleansing. It's like washing dishes, but imagine if the dishes were your kids, so you really love the dishes."
– Chris Martin.
"The older I get, the smarter my father seems to get."
- Tim Russert.
"Raising kids is part joy and part guerilla warfare."
- Ed Asner.
"For fatherhood advice, try to look your child in the eye… get to know their name; that becomes important when you want something. And remember to feed them. That's about all you need."
- Will Ferrell.
"Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected."
– Red Buttons.
"Everybody takes daddy for granted. Just listen to the radio: Everything's momma. What's the dad song? 'Papa Was a Rolling Stone.'"
– Chris Rock.
"If you're not yelling at your kids, you aren't spending enough time with them."
- Mark Ruffalo.
"You don't need drugs when you have a [baby]. You're awake, you're paranoid, you smell bad… it's the same thing."
- Robin Williams.
"The most ridiculous thing I have heard myself say is, 'Do you want your pop-pop, your banky, or your baba?' Translation: 'Do you want your pacifier, your blanket or your bottle?'"
- Taye Diggs.
"Just taught my kids about taxes by eating 38% of their ice cream."
- Conan O'Brien.
Silly & Funny Happy Father's Day Quotes
Find the perfect way to make your dad laugh on Father's Day with our collection of silly and funny quotes. So go ahead and share some laughter and joy with your favorite dad on his special day.
"You can tell what was the best year of your father's life because they seem to freeze that clothing style and ride it out."
– Jerry Seinfeld.
"Having a 2-year-old is like having a blender without a lid."
– Jerry Seinfeld.
"I have always had the feeling I could do anything, and my dad told me I could. I was in college before I found out he might be wrong."
- Ann Richards.
"We never know the love of a parent until we become parents ourselves."
- Henry Ward Beecher.
"I would say that the hardest thing about being a parent is these goddamned kids."
- Andy Richter.
"Sometimes I am amazed that my wife and I created two human beings from scratch yet struggle to assemble the most basic IKEA cabinets."
– Greg Kinnear.
"Raising kids may be a thankless job with ridiculous hours, but at least the pay sucks."
- Jim Gaffigan.
"The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents, the second half by our children."
- Clarence Darrow.
"The greatest mark of a father is how he treats his children when no one is looking."
- Dan Pearce.
"You know what it's like having a fourth kid? Imagine you're drowning, then someone hands you a baby."
- Jim Gaffigan.
"You have to be adaptable because they consistently keep changing. They'll do something that blows your mind and then they'll spit all their food on the carpet."
- Neil Patrick Harris.
"I never got along with my dad. Kids used to come up to me and say, 'My dad can beat up your dad.' I'd say, 'Yeah? When?'"
- Bill Hicks.
"A dad is someone who wants to catch you when you fall. Instead, he picks you up, brushes you off, and lets you try again."
- Unknown*
"I rescind my early statement, 'I could never fall in love with a girl who regularly poops her pants.' I hadn't met my daughter yet."
- Dax Shepard.
"I gave my father $100 and said, 'Buy yourself something that will make your life easier.' So he went out and bought a present for my mother."
– Rita Rudner.
"I've been to war. I've raised twins. If I had a choice, I'd rather go to war."
- George W. Bush.
"Having children is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain."
– Martin Mull.
"Nobody appreciates Daddy. I'm talking about the real daddy that handles the [expletive] business. Nobody ever says, 'Hey, Daddy, thanks for knocking out this rent!' 'Hey, Daddy, I sure love this hot water!' 'Hey, Daddy, it's easy to read with all this light!'"
– Chris Rock.
"The worst part about being a parent is when one of your kids farts and you have to pretend it wasn't cool."
– Rob Delaney.
Memorable & Funny Happy Father's Day Quotes
Whether you're looking for a light-hearted message to send to your dad or a humorous quote to share with friends and family, these funny Father's Day quotes are sure to bring joy and laughter to your day.
"When you're young, you think your dad is Superman. Then you grow up, and you realize he's just a regular guy who wears a cape."
- Dave Attell.
"My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person: he believed in me."
- Jim Valvano.
"The first one, I almost became a doula. I was reading every book. I was ready. This one I haven't done anything. I'm like, 'Well, we didn't break the first one.'"
– Ashton Kutcher.
"I think that my strong determination for justice comes from the very strong, dynamic personality of my father. I have rarely ever met a person more fearless and courageous than my father. The thing that I admire most about my dad is his genuine Christian character.
He is a man of real integrity, deeply committed to moral and ethical principles. He is conscientious in all of his undertakings. If I had a problem, I could always call Daddy."
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
"We wondered why when a child laughed, he belonged to Daddy, and when he had a sagging diaper that smelled like a landfill, 'He wants his mother.'"
- Erma Bombeck.
"When you got more than one kid, you just wake up angry."
- Kevin Hart.
"Fatherhood is great because you can ruin someone from scratch."
- Jon Stewart.
"No man I ever met was my father's equal, and I never loved any other man as such."
– Hedy Lamarr.
"On our 6 a.m. walk, my daughter asked where the moon goes each morning. I let her know it's in heaven visiting daddy's freedom."
– Ryan Reynolds.
"I feel like the success of parenthood is feeling like I failed all day today, but I get to wake up tomorrow and do it again and hopefully they turn out to be a good human being."
– Justin Timberlake.
"Never underestimate kids' tenacity. Raising a child is like wrestling a small but relentless opponent."
- Stephen Colbert.
"Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis."
- Jack Handy.
"Being a dad isn't just about eating a huge bag of gummy bears as your wife gives birth. It means being comfortable with the word hero"
– Ryan Reynolds.
"If my kid vanished on a plane like that Jodie Foster movie, I'd spend maybe two or three hours enjoying the legroom and quiet before I started looking."
– Ken Jennings.
"Perhaps host and guest is really the happiest relation for father and son."
- Evelyn Waugh.
"By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he's wrong."
- Charles Wadsworth.
"Your children need your presence more than your presents."
- Jesse Jackson.
"There are times when parenthood seems nothing more than feeding the hand that bites you."
- Peter De Vries.
"It is so embarrassing how I went from a person who did not care about anyone's children. Then you have them, and you brag about the same stuff that you never cared about. And you tell people, he's got four teeth like they care."
- Seth Meyers.
"My daughter got me a 'World's Best Dad' mug. So we know she's sarcastic."
– Bob Odenkirk.
"Being a great father is like shaving. No matter how good you shaved today, you have to do it again tomorrow."
- Reed Markham.
"Having children is like living in a frat house. Nobody sleeps, everything's broken and there's a lot of throwing up."
– Ray Romano.
"Missing your child's first walk proves you are a father."
- Stephen Colbert.
"Dads are like chocolate chip cookies; they may have chips or be totally nutty, but they are sweet and make the world a better place, especially for their children."
- Hillary Lytle.
"A girl's father is the first man in her life and probably the most influential."
- David Jeremiah.
"Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother rather than all major credit cards."
- Robert Orben.
"The quality of a father can be seen in the goals, dreams, and aspirations he sets not only for himself but for his family."
- Reed Markham.
"Every father is the architect of his home life."
- Reed Markham.
"I remember the time I was kidnapped, and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof."
- Rodney Dangerfield.
"Perhaps host and guest is really the happiest relation for father and son."
- Evelyn Waugh.
"Parents are the bones on which children cut their teeth."
- Peter Ustinov.
"My father only hit me once, but he used a Volvo."
- Bob Monkhouse.
"A girl's first true love is her father."
- Marisol Santiago.
Best Funny Happy Father's Day Quotes
From humorous messages to wacky one-liners, these funny quotes will surely put a smile on your dad's face and make him feel loved and appreciated.
"I want my son to wear a helmet 24 hours a day. If it was socially acceptable, I'd be the first one to have my kid in a full helmet and like a cage across his face mask."
– Will Arnett.
"Buying your kid a goldfish is a great way to teach them about responsibility for 24—36 hours."
– Conan O'Brien.
"Even though I'm proud my dad invented the rearview mirror, we're not as close as we appear."
- Stewart Francis.
"Me and my dad used to play tag. He'd drive."
- Rodney Dangerfield.
"Father's Day is important because, besides being the day on which we honor Dad, it's the one day of the year that Brookstone does any business."
- Jimmy Fallon.
"A father carries pictures where his money used to be."
- Steve Martin.
"A good father is one of the most unsung, unpraised, unnoticed, and yet one of the most valuable assets in our society."
- Billy Graham.
"When I was a kid, I said to my father one afternoon, 'Daddy, will you take me to the zoo?' He answered, 'If the zoo wants you, let them come and get you."
- Jerry Lewis.
"I used to say to 'I would take a bullet for you, I could never love anything as much as I love you.'
I would say that to my wife, but the second I looked into that baby's eyes, I knew in that exact moment that if we were ever under attack, I would use my wife as a human shield."
- Ryan Reynolds
"A man knows he is growing old because he begins to look like his father."
- Gabriel Garcia Marquez.
"I hate when new parents ask who the baby looks like. It was born 15 minutes ago, it looks like a potato."
- Kevin Hart.
"The fundamental defect of fathers is that they want their children to be a credit to them."
- Bertrand Russell
"It is a wise father that knows his own child."
- William Shakespeare.
"Remember: What dad really wants is a nap. Really."
- Dave Barry.
"Good parenting means investing in your child's future, which is why I am saving to buy mine a hoverboard someday."
- Lin Manuel Miranda.
"I have a lot of kids. I say a lot because I don't know the real number."
- Jim Gaffigan.
"My 4-year-old son gave me a hand made card for Father's Day. Maybe for Christmas I'll draw him a picture of some toys."
- Jim Gaffigan.
"We wondered why when a child laughed, he belonged to Daddy, and when he had a sagging diaper that smelled like a landfill, 'He wants his mother.'"
- Erma Bombeck.
"A father's words are like a thermostat that sets the temperature in the house."
- Paul Lewis.
"A father is a banker provided by nature."
- French proverb.
"When one has not had a good father, one must create one."
- Friedrich Nietzsche.
"Parenthood remains the greatest single preserve of the amateur."
- Alvin Toffler.
"How come my 3-year-old son knows every species and genus of dinosaur and I can't even remember my home phone number?"
– Taye Diggs.
"My father has always provided me a safe place to land and a hard place from which to launch."
- Chelsea Clinton.
"Dads are most ordinary men turned by love into heroes, adventurers, storytellers, and singers of song."
- Pam Brown.
"A father could be defined as the 3 P's – the protector, the provider, and the problem solver."
- Theodore W. Higginsworth.
"I would rather drink a piping hot bowl of liquid rabies than get on a plane with my two children. At two years old they just have to rip all their clothes off and introduce themselves to everyone on the plane. It's just like, 'Please can we land in a farmer's field?'"
– Ryan Reynolds.
"Getting a burp out of your little thing when she needs it is probably the greatest satisfaction I've come across at this point in my life. It is truly one of life's most satisfying moments."
- Brad Pitt.
"When you first get them... you're all excited, and you're ready to do all these things. Then you realize it's like getting a new cell phone where all the features don't work yet.
It's like a phone [that] won't take pictures, and you're like 'Why won't my phone take pictures?!' And it won't make calls, and it doesn't do a lot. But it looks really cute!"
- Ashton Kutcher.
"The key to parenting is don't overthink it. Because overthinking leads to… what were we talking about?"
- Homer Simpson.
"It's been the most amazing experience I could ever possibly imagine."
- Prince Harry.
"Calvin: Dad, what causes wind?
Calvin's Dad: Trees sneezing.
Calvin: Really??
Calvin's Dad: No. But the truth is more complicated."
- Calvin and Hobbes, Bill Watterson.
"You don't have to deserve your mother's love. You have to deserve your father's. He's more particular."
- Robert Frost.
"Raising kids is part joy and part guerilla warfare."
- Ed Asner.
"I have found the best way to give advice to your children is to find out what they want and then advise them to do it."
- Harry S. Truman.
"I've never been part of anything so great as those three kids."
- Al Roker.
"My father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic."
- Spike Milligan.
"Dad taught me everything I know. Unfortunately, he didn't teach me everything he knows."
- Al Unser.
"Before I got married I had six theories about raising children; now, I have six children and no theories."
- John Wilmot.
