Lying is a trait that should never be encouraged.
From a young age, children should be taught how lying can have harmful consequences. Lies can harm their loved ones and themselves.
Some people lie for no reason at all, which makes them pathological liars. It's a type of disease that affects liars, but they usually can't stop themselves. However, there are also some lies that are told to keep someone from hurting or to seek the truth. For example, when a police officer works as a civilian to catch a criminal. The topic of lies and truths can be heavy, but we should try to find humor in them to be happy in life. Read up on these puns and jokes below. Make your close ones laugh and laugh along with them.
Jokes About Lying That Are Hilariously Funny
Here you'll find some of the funniest lying jokes that will get you rolling on the floor laughing.
- Didn't the guy say that he has problems with lying? Well, he actually made it up.
- Did you know that I can always tell if someone is lying or not just by taking one look at them? I can also tell if they are standing.
- Was the blind guy lying to us? It's actually hard for him, because he just can't see the truth.
- What is known to be the best way to tell if a person is lying? The best way to know is if they are not standing or sitting.
- Did you know that I can tell if a ghost is lying to me? Mainly because I can see right through the ghost.
- What happened to the person who just couldn't stand the people who lied to him? He had to level with them.
- Why are liars considered the laziest people in the world? Because they are always lying.
- What happened to the liar when he reached home at night after working all day? He lied still.
- Which people are the exact opposite of liars? Reposters because they claim that they made up everything, while liars claim they made up nothing.
- What would the husband do when his wife calls him a bare-faced liar? He would grow a beard.
- What is the difference between one point among a distribution which has a higher value than the rest and a cheater? The first is a right outlier, and the second is an outright liar.
- Did you know that atoms are the biggest liars? It's because they make everything up.
- Did you know some people are teaching us how to spot a liar in our neighborhood? Their motto is, 'the best liar you think is not actually the best liar you think'.
- Why did the husband call his wife the biggest liar he had ever met? Because all the other liars he had met were all short.
- Did you know liars don't make eye contact? That's why I don't trust pirates at least half the time.
- What happened when the receptionist of the 'no questions asked' law firm asked the customer how he could help her? He shouted 'liars' and left.
- Do you think Ben might actually know how to walk? He might because when he's not sitting, he's always lying.
- What happened to the person who always told people that he had Imposter Syndrome? He thought everyone knew that he was lying.
- Did you know Rita said that getting a dental piercing is absolutely safe? I think she has been lying through her teeth.
- Did you know our neighbor said that he doesn't believe in aliens? He said it's because they are always lying to him.
Witty Jokes About Lying
These are a few of the best lying jokes that you won't be-lie-ve how funny they are. Share them with your kids and family.
- Have you ever seen a professional liar work? Probably not because they have never done any honest day's work.
- Did you know that even after the police arrested the person, he still kept saying that he didn't steal any sleeping pills? Whatever helps the person sleep at night.
- What happened when the dad caught his little girl lying about playing with dish soaps? The little girl had to come clean to her father.
- Why did Brent say that he didn't trust his pillow? He said it's because it always lies behind his back.
- Why should writers always tell the truth? Because if they don't, then they would become wrongers.
- Why did the boy sit and tell a lie when his father told him to stand up and always tell the truth? He did it because he didn't like to tell the truth, because he rather preferred to sit.
- What would it be called if the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air told a lie? It would be called the Will's myth.
- What is the one sentence that, if you write it down, will never be true? It's 'this pen has no ink'.
- Why did 'Lie' invite 'Truth' to her birthday party? Because she said, 'Truth' is relative.
- What happened when the new clerk fell asleep on his own curriculum vitae? He got scolded because no one should lie on their resume.
- Why were the cows lying in the rain? Because they were trying to keep each udder dry.
- Why is it wrong to lie on your resume? Because the right way is lying on your bed.
- Did you know that the entire Academy Awards is a lie? The people they always invite to the functions are actually all paid acting professionals.
- Why did the wife say that her husband should not trust her once she is done making the bed every night? Because she lies there immediately after that.
- Why should you never lie to a cardiologist? Because they have been trained to recognize a fib.
- What did the wise person say to the king when he expressed that a fox prophesied an apocalyptic event? The wise person asked the king why he would ever listen to Fox for news. They always lie.
- Why did the pillow lie and say the blanket was his alibi for the day the thievery occurred? Because the blanket was his perfect cover.
- Did you know everything our neighbor tells us is all lies? Even his teeth seem to be fake.
- Does anyone know how Pinocchio's father already knows whenever Pinocchio tells a lie? Nothing special, he simply noses it.
- Do you think it's right when people say that it's better to let sleeping dogs lie? I think that we should encourage all animals to tell the truth.
Lying Puns That Will Re-lie-ve Your Stress
Here are a few puns about lying that will make you quite famous among the kids. Tell them these and make them laugh the hardest.
- I once knew an animal that could always tell if someone was lying. I think it was a sea lion.
- I would always see the carpets lying around the house. I think they always felt a bit ruggish.
- I thought I saw a guy lying outside your doorstep this morning. He said he was Matt.
- My girlfriend once told me that she had the ability to walk through walls. I thought she was a liar, but then I saw her phase, and now I've become a believer.
- My wife kept thinking about what kind of people are the strangest types of liars. I told her it was the peculiars.
- I went to see the doctor today, and she said that I have a type of heart problem that affects all liars. I think the disease is called IFib.
- I once saw a lying table in the furniture shop. The manager told me not to buy it because it's untrustable.
- My wife said that kids' books are the worst kind of liars because they are extremely easy to read.
- I visited the zoo with my kids the other day. My daughter saw a loaf of bread lying inside one of the zoo enclosures. I told her that was bread in captivity.
- My husband told me the other day that the Canadian prime minister got re-elected. I thought that he was lying, it was Trudeau.
- My friend said that the basement in his house is a liar. She said it was because it couldn't be further from the roof.
- I once saw a bowman who loved math and couldn't stop telling lies. He was very much into fibbing archery.
- I once heard a protesting person say that he had lost his voice. I knew that he was lying.
- I once went to the beach and saw sin lying down on top of cos. They said they were tanning.
- Two meatloaves were lying on the floor. The first meatloaf asked the second why it was rotting. The second meatloaf said, I decay.
- I once saw a little girl lying on the side of the road with her bicycle. When I asked about what happened, she said they were resting because her cycle was two tired.
- I once knew a cow that lied all the time. Its owner called it a bluffalo.
- My friend saw a sick bird lying on the road the other day and he just couldn't drive around it. He said it was because it would have been considered an ill eagle pass.
- I once attended a concert where a pianist tried to play the piano while lying on the floor. He failed quite badly as he was flat.
- My friend said he once saw a reformed play where Simba never told the truth. The play was called 'The Lying King'.
Puns About Lying To Make You Laugh
In this list, you'll find the list of funniest puns of lying. You can share these with your friends, family members, and kids and laugh along with them.
- I went to see my doctor the other day as I was experiencing some fatigue, and my heart kept skipping beats, but my doctor kept calling me a liar. He kept saying that it was A-Fib.
- Once there was a panda who was a pathological liar. His favorite food was bamboozled.
- I don't think I've ever seen protons lying around slacking. However, I'm pretty sure they hadron somewhere, and I saw that.
- I'm entirely sure that math teachers lied to me when I was in school. They said that Pi R squared, but my mom always made pies for me, and they have always been round.
- I once had a pet bunny who could lie with ease. I think it was a heretic.
- The school laboratory once brought a frog that could lie for purposes of experiments. The am-fib-ian experiment went quite well.
- I went to watch the tennis game the other day and saw a woman lying in the middle of the tennis court. It was Annette.
- My friend who has a flat nose kept telling lies to me. I couldn't take it anymore and told him to stop telling lies because he was terrible at it. They were plain as the nose on his face.
- The patient kept lying to the doctor about the damage he was suffering on his digestive system and lungs. The doctor still figured out he had cystic fib-rosis.
- Years ago, researchers found out that if you lie, it might damage and even stop a person's heart. That's why they came up with the de-fib-you-later.
- There was a fox that lied to everyone in the jungle. Everyone called him a faux-ney.
- I saw some people who kept lying for no reason. I think they were Egyptians because they said they lived in de Nile.
- There was a harp that could never tell the truth to anyone. His friends called him the lyre.
- My friend once told me that Bruce Lee had a brother who never lied to anyone. His name was Honest Lee.
- I once saw a group of boys that lied about being fathers and told funny dad jokes to everyone around. They came to be known as a faux pas.
- I lied on my resume and accidentally got hired at the construction company as a building inspector. I've been doing asbestos, I can, but I'm always getting the wires crossed.
- There was a battle rapper who took the help of lies during rap battles. He was diss honest.
- My mother once told me that dentists don't lie because they know that the tooth will always come out.
- There was a stupid animal that looked quite fluffy and always lied on the beach. It was an imbeseal.