80+ Best Doctor Doctor Jokes Sure To Cause A Case Of The Giggles

Akinwalere Olaleye
Mar 01, 2024 By Akinwalere Olaleye
Originally Published on Aug 21, 2020
Edited by Jacob Fitzbright
Fact-checked by Sarah Hallam
Doggy at veterinarian doctor.
Age: 0-99
Read time: 13.9 Min

'Doctor, doctor' jokes are a timeless giggle generator! Imagine a simple doctor's visit twisted with puns and wordplay - that's the heart of these classics. These playful jests blend the mystique of the medical world with a generous dose of humor, creating a hilarious and heartwarming cocktail. These jokes are about infusing joy and fun into everyday conversations. Whether you're a parent aiming to entertain your children, or someone seeking to bring a dose of humor to their social circles, these jokes are the perfect remedy.

Get ready for a laughter-filled journey with these top-notch 'doctor-doctor' jokes, guaranteed to incite a case of giggles! Imagine the charm of a well-delivered punchline, the excitement as a joke veers toward an unexpected twist. Now, couple that with the intriguing world of medicine, and what you've got is a wonderfully infectious humor cocktail! So, let's dive in, tickle those funny bones and sprinkle your day with guffaws and chuckles. These witticisms are here to transform any mundane moment into a joy-filled occasion! Doctor-themed jokes are just the laughter prescription everyone needs.

Animal-Themed Doctor Doctor Jokes

Get ready for a laughter safari with our delightful compilation of animal-themed 'doctor, doctor' jokes. These zingers blend our love for animals with a classic joke format we all adore, resulting in some hilariously wild puns. Guaranteed to incite giggles, these are perfect for family fun nights as ice-breakers, or simply to brighten up an ordinary day. Without further ado, let's unleash the humor.

1. Patient: "Doctor, doctor, I feel like an elephant." Doctor: "What are you saying?" Patient: "I never forget anything, and I've become fond of peanuts."

2. Patient: "Doctor, doctor, I'm convinced I'm a bird." Doctor: "What leads you to believe that?" Patient: "I keep trying to fly off my balcony."

3. Patient: "Doctor, doctor, I feel like a kangaroo." Doctor: "That sounds serious, what makes you feel that way?" Patient: "I just can't stop jumping around."

4. Patient: "Doctor, doctor, I think I'm a dog." Doctor: "How can you tell?" Patient: "I can't resist chasing cars and barking at the mailman."

5. Patient: "Doctor, doctor, I think I'm a horse." Doctor: "What brought this on?" Patient: "Neigh-borhood races have become my favorite pastime."

6. Patient: "Doctor, doctor, I think I'm a frog." Doctor: "How so?" Patient: "I think I'm going to croak."

7. Patient: "Doctor, doctor, I feel like a monkey." Doctor: "Why do you say that?" Patient: "I keep climbing trees and love bananas."

8. Patient: "Doctor, doctor, I think I'm a pony." Doctor: "Don't worry, you're just a little hoarse."

9. Patient: "Doctor, doctor, I'm sure I'm a turtle." Doctor: "What's the reason?" Patient: "I can't resist a good shell-ter."

10. Patient: "Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a caterpillar." Doctor: "Don't worry you'll soon change."

11. Patient: "Doctor, doctor, I feel like a racehorse." Doctor: "Take one of these pills every four laps."

Food-Themed Doctor Doctor Jokes

Fasten your aprons and prepare for a deliciously humorous trip through our menu of food-themed 'doctor, doctor' jokes. These tasty morsels of humor, blending the classic joke set-up with a culinary twist, are the perfect recipe for laughter. These silly jests are ideal for food lovers with a sweet tooth for comedy, or anyone hungry for a chuckle. Without further ado, let's cook up some laughter!

12. Patient: "Doctor, doctor, I have a strawberry stuck in my ear." Doctor: "Don't worry, I've got cream for that."

13. Patient: "Doctor, doctor, I get heartburn whenever I eat birthday cake." Doctor: "Next time take the candles off."

14. Patient: "Doctor, doctor, I think I'm a slice of pizza." Doctor: "Don't be cheesy!"

15. Patient: "Doctor, doctor, I feel like an apple." Doctor: "Don't worry, you're just a-peel-ing."

16. Patient: "Doctor, doctor, I believe I'm a slice of bread." Doctor: "I think you're just loafing around."

17. Patient: "Doctor, doctor, I'm convinced I'm an egg." Doctor: "You've got to break out of your shell!"

18. Patient: "Doctor, doctor, I feel like a bowl of pasta." Doctor: "Don't stress, you're just pasta-tively hilarious."

19. Patient: "Doctor, doctor, I think I'm a chocolate chip cookie." Doctor: "Crumbs! That sounds sweet!"

20. Patient: "Doctor, doctor, I feel like a pancake." Doctor: "Oh no, you're just feeling a little flat."

21. Patient: "Doctor, doctor, I think I'm a stick of butter." Doctor: "You must be on a roll."

22. Patient: "Doctor, doctor, I'm sure I'm a pea." Doctor: "You're just feeling a little green."

23. Patient: "Doctor, doctor, I feel like a banana." Doctor: "Peel better soon."

24. Patient: "Doctor, doctor, I feel like a cupcake." Doctor: "You're just frosting."

25. Patient: "Doctor, doctor, I've got broccoli stuck in my ear!" Doctor: "Looks like you're not eating properly."

26. Patient: "Doctor, doctor, I think I need glasses." Doctor: "You certainly do missy, this is the fish and chip shop."

Hilarious Doctor Jokes

Embrace the fun side of medical humor with our next collection of some short, yet still funny doctor jokes. Clever, amusing, and bound to spark laughter, these jokes are an ideal pick-me-up for any day. Whether for a family get-together, a school talent show, or a friendly hangout, some light-hearted humor like this is a surefire hit.

27. Why did the doctor take a red pen to work? In case he needed to draw blood.

28. Why did the Dalmatian go to the doctor's office? Because every time it looked in the mirror it saw spots.

29. Why did the witch go to the doctor? She had a dizzy spell.

30. Why do surgeons wear masks? So no one will recognize them when they make a mistake.

31. Why do shoes go to the doctor? To be heeled.

32. Why did the doctor tell the nurses to be quiet when walking past the medicine cabinet? So they wouldn’t wake the sleeping pills.

33. Who stands in for doctors when they need to go on leave? The hip replacement guy.

34. Who do you call when you need a doctor immediately? The nearest golf course.

35. Why did the mattress go to the doctor? It had spring fever.

36. What did the doctor prescribe to the man who couldn’t stop breaking wind? A kite.

37. Why did the bucket go to the doctor? He had a pale face.

38. What did the eye doctor say about his career? It's a job with a clear vision.

39. What did the doctor say to the invisible man? Sorry, I can't see you right now.

40. What did the balloon say to the doctor? I feel lightheaded.

41. What do you get when a doctor goes back in time to teach himself medicine? A pair o’ docs.

Very Funny Doctor Jokes

Unleash the joy with a laugh-out-loud collection of very funny doctor jokes! These hilarious gems cleverly blend medical musings with humor, creating the perfect potion for fun. Perfect for parents eager to inject some cheer into their day or anyone in search of a funny bone tickler, these doctor jokes serve up hearty laughs. So, prepare to uncork the bottle of laughter and let the waves of giggles roll out!

42. Why was the doctor always calm? Because he had a lot of patients.

43. Why did the robot ask the nurse to call the doctor immediately? Because it had a virus.

44. How many doctors does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Three: one to find a bulb specialist, one to find a bulb installation specialist, and one to bill it all to Medicare.

45. How did a banana end up in the emergency room in the hospital? His skin was peeling off.

46. How did the doctor cure the invisible man? He took the man to the ICU.

47. What did the man say to the X-ray technician doctor after swallowing some money? Do you see any change in me?

48. What did the nurse say when the doctor asked if she took the patient’s temperature? "No, is it missing?"

49. Why did the puzzle piece go to the doctor? Because it was feeling a little jig-sore.

50. Why did the pillow go to the doctor? He was feeling all stuffed up.

51. Who is the coolest doctor in the hospital? The hip consultant.

52. What did the doctor tell the chicken with high cholesterol? Try to lay off eggs for a while.

53. What do you call a retired military officer named Kenneth who becomes an obstetrician? General Ken OB.

54. What did the rope say to the nurse? "I have a doctor's appointment about a knot in my stomach."

55. Why did the doctor laugh at the X-ray of an arm? Because he found it humerus.

Long Hilarious Doctor Jokes

Puppy at veterinarian doctor.

© Jerry She, under a creative commons licence

Step into the laughter clinic with a healthy serving of long, hilarious doctor jokes! These aren't your everyday puns, they're mini stories packed with humor, charm, and a delightful twist of medical jest. These lengthy jokes are just the remedy needed to make any day brighter. So, prepare to embrace the giggles and embark on this laughter-filled journey! These extended jokes are just what the humorist ordered.

56. Patient: “Whenever I drink coffee, I have this sharp, excruciating pain.”

Doctor: “Try to remember to remove the spoon from the cup before drinking.”

57. A doctor accidentally prescribes his patient a laxative instead of cough syrup. Three days later the patient comes for a check-up and the doctor asks, “Well? Are you still coughing?” The patient replies, “No, I’m afraid to.”

58. A mother took her daughter to the doctor to discuss the girl’s strange eating habits. The mother said, “All day long she lies in bed and eats yeast and car wax. What will happen to her?” “Eventually,” said the doctor, “She will rise and shine.”

59. The doctor stood by the bedside of a very sick patient and said, “I cannot hide the fact that you are very ill. Is there anyone you would like to see?” “Yes,” replied the patient faintly, “Another doctor.”

60. A very angry woman stormed up to the receptionist’s desk at a doctor’s office. “Someone stole my wig while I was having surgery yesterday,” she complained. The doctor came out and tried to calm her down. “I assure you that none of my staff would have done such a thing,” he said. “Why do you think it was taken here?” “After the operation, I noticed the wig I was wearing was cheap-looking and ugly.” “I think,” explained the surgeon gently, “that means your cataract operation was a success.”

61. A woman went to the doctor’s office with a seemingly incurable case of hiccups. A new doctor examined her, and after a few minutes, she began to scream and ran down the hall. Her previous doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was. After she explained, the doctor went to the new doctor and said, “What’s the matter with you? Mrs. Terry is 63 years old, she has four grown children and seven grandchildren, and you told her she was pregnant?” The new doctor smiled and said, “Cured her hiccups though, didn’t it?”

62. Doctor: "I’ve got very bad news: you’ve got cancer and Alzheimer’s."

Patient: "Well, at least I don’t have cancer."

63. An old man was sitting on the examining table in the doctor’s office, having his hearing checked. The doctor poked his light scope in the old man’s ear and said, “Hey, you have a suppository in your ear!” “Rats,” said the old man, “Now I know where my hearing aid went.”

64. A man working with an electric saw accidentally saws off all 10 fingers. He rushes to the emergency room. The doctor says, “Give me the fingers and I’ll see what I can do.” The man replies, “But, I don’t have the fingers!” “Why didn’t you bring the fingers?” asks the incredulous doctor. The man says, “Doc, I couldn’t pick them up.”

65. Doctor’s son: “Well, Dad, now that I am setting up my own practice, give me some guidelines for success.”

The father: “Always write your prescriptions illegibly and your bills legibly.”

66. A man walks into a doctor’s office. He has a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear, and a banana in his right ear. “What’s the matter with me?” he asks the doctor. The doctor replies, “You’re not eating properly.”

67. Doctor: “You are very sick.”

Patient: “Can I get a second opinion?”

Doctor: “Yes, of course! You are very rude too.”

68. “This is your doctor. We’ve got the results back from your tests, and we’ve found you have an extremely nasty virus that is extremely contagious!” “Oh my gosh,” cries the man in a panic and asks, “What are you going to do, doctor?” The doctor replies, “Well, we’re going to put you on a diet of pizzas, pancakes, and quesadillas.” “Will that cure me?” asked the man hopefully. The doctor replied, “No, but it’s the only food we can get under the door.”

69. One day, a man stumbled into his doctor’s office with a terrible cold. The doctor prescribed him some pills, but they didn’t help. When the man came back, the doctor gave him a shot, but that didn’t help either. When the man returned, the doctor told him, “Go home. Take a hot bath, and when you get out, open all the windows and stand in the draft.” “But if I do that, I’ll risk getting pneumonia doc,” replied the man. “I know,” said the doctor, “but I can cure pneumonia!”

70. A seven-year-old girl came home and told her mom, “A boy in my class asked me to play doctor.” 
“Oh no, honey. What happened?” “Nothing, he made me wait 45 minutes and then double-billed the insurance company.”

71. Patient: “Aren’t you going to treat me?”

Doctor: “I am treating you.”

Patient: “You’re just staring at me.”

Doctor: “It’s called silent treatment.”

72. A woman went to the doctor complaining of pain all over her body. “I hurt all over,” she said. “What do you mean all over?” the doctor asked, “Can you be more specific?” The woman proceeded to touch her right knee with her index finger and yelled, “Ow, that hurts.” Then her nose and yelled again, “Ouch! That also hurts.” Then she touched her left earlobe and yelled again, “Even that hurts doc.” After examining her, the doctor concluded; the woman had a broken finger.

Bonus Doctor Doctor Jokes And One-Liners

Prepare for an exhilarating ride down humor lane with this bonus set of 'doctor-doctor' jokes and witty one-liners! These quick quips and chucklesome gags cleverly combine medical scenarios with humor, serving up laughter on a silver platter. Whether it's parents aiming to entertain their children or someone looking to sprinkle a dash of humor into their social gathering, these jokes are just the perfect recipe.

73. Patient: "Doctor, doctor, I've got acute appendicitis." Doctor: "You've got a cute little dimple too."

74. Patient: "Doctor, doctor, can you give me a second opinion?" Doctor: "Sure, come back tomorrow!"

75. Patient: "Doctor, doctor, I’m hearing a ringing sound." Doctor: "Then answer the phone."

76. Patient: "Doctor, doctor, will this ointment get rid of these spots?" Doctor: "I never make rash promises."

77. Patient: "Doctor, doctor, they are saying in the waiting room that you've become a vampire." Doctor: "Necks, please."

78. Patient: "Doctor, doctor, how does the receptionist at a urology department answer the phone?" Doctor: "Urology office; can you hold?"

79. Patient: "Doctor, doctor, I think I'm at death's door?" Doctor: "Don't worry, we'll soon pull you through."

80. Patient: "Two years ago, my doctor told me I was going deaf. I haven’t heard from him since."

81. Patient: "I’ve got a disease where I can’t stop telling airport jokes. The doctor says it's terminal."

82. Patient: "I told the doctor I didn’t want brain surgery. But he changed my mind."

83. Patient: "My dermatologist was fired today because they made too many rash decisions."

84. Patient: "My kid’s pediatrician canceled my appointment because I was five minutes late. He has very little patients."

 

And there you have it, a compilation of some of the best doctor-doctor jokes sure to get the giggles going! These jokes, brimming with wit and humor, are great for lighting up any atmosphere. They are perfect icebreakers, mood-lifters, and an excellent way to foster a love for humor in young minds. On the flip side, a few might be a tad too funny for some tastes, but hey, that's the essence of a good joke, right? Remember, delivery and timing can be everything in comedy, so don’t be afraid to add your flair to these jokes. Now that you're equipped with this laughter-inducing arsenal, it's time to spread the joy and let the giggles reverberate around you.

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Written by Akinwalere Olaleye

Bachelor of Arts specializing in English Literature

Akinwalere Olaleye picture

Akinwalere OlaleyeBachelor of Arts specializing in English Literature

As a highly motivated, detail-oriented, and energetic individual, Olaleye's expertise lies in administrative and management operations. With extensive knowledge as an Editor and Communications Analyst, Olaleye excels in editing, writing, and media relations. Her commitment to upholding professional ethics and driving organizational growth sets her apart. She has a bachelor's degree in English Literature from the University of Benin, Edo State. 

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