55 Best Heart Jokes That You'll Love

Oluwatosin Michael
Feb 29, 2024 By Oluwatosin Michael
Originally Published on Dec 11, 2020
Edited by Monisha Kochhar
Heart pink cookies
Age: 0-99
Read time: 6.5 Min

Hearts do so much more than just pump blood; they're the universal symbol of love and the source of some downright hilarious jokes! Whether it's Valentine's Day or just a regular Tuesday, heart jokes are versatile and fun. They're a simple, heartfelt way to bring joy to those around you, and this collection offers something for everyone. From romantic quips to win over your special someone to cheerful cardiology jokes that might even make your doctor chuckle, heart jokes are all about spreading joy. Share these with a friend; it's a heartfelt way to brighten their day.

Funny Heart Jokes

From kids to grown-ups, heart jokes are the perfect blend of silly and sweet! Whether you're looking to spread some love or just lighten the mood, these quips will surely bring a smile. Come along; let's discover the delightful world of heart humor that's fun for all ages.

1. Why did Robert fail the medical exam when his right shoulder was X-rayed? Because he did not put his heart into it.

2. Why did Gary send pictures of his heart X-ray to his girlfriend every month? He wanted to show that his heart is in the right place.

3. What name does the man call his girlfriend he met on Twitter? Tweetheart.

4. What did the drum say to the drumstick? "My heart beats for you."

5. Why did the skeleton refuse to propose to his girlfriend? His heart was not in it.

6. Which is the most loving vegetable? An artichoke, as it has a heart.

7. What is Cupid's favorite rockband? Heart.

8. When do you know you are ready for the game? The moment when your heart is pumped up.

9. What is the heart's favorite shade of red? It's beat-red.

10. What happened when the patient refused to get a heart transplant? He had a change of heart.

11. Why was the lover boy arrested?For stealing someone’s heart.

12. What is Jack called since he is looking for suitors to marry? Jack of Hearts.

13. Why was the ghost scared of coming out in the light? He did not have the heart to do it.

14. When the heart was found guilty of stealing, what did the police do? They went for a cardiac arrest.

15. Why did the heart bang on the door so many times for permission? It had palpitations.

16. What's the easiest way to reach a man's heart? Through his chest.

17. Why was the musician taken to the hospital right after his performance? Because he played his heart out in it.

18. What happened to the bear with heart problems? It had a Kodiak arrest.

19. Why was the woman searching for a man with a good heart? Because she needed a heart transplant!

20. What do you call an attack on an organ donation bank? A heart attack.

Cardiologist Heart Jokes

Cheerful man making love sign with hands

Who says heart health can't induce chuckles? These cardiologist heart jokes are not only fun but might even get a nod of approval from the experts. Perfect for anyone who appreciates a clever medical twist or just wants to lighten up the day with some heart-themed humor. Let's jump into the fun!

21. What praise did the cardiologist get for keeping all her patient names in alphabetical order? He was very organ-ized.

22. What is the favorite non-fiction book of a Cardiology teacher? The 'Heart Of Living'.

23. What is the favorite musician of the cardiologist? Heart Garfunkel.

24. What car did the heart surgeon have for himself? A Beater.

25. What happened to the student who failed his cardiology exam? He had heart failure.

26. What happened to the cardiologist who wanted to become an actor? It was all in vein.

27. How did Gina know that she wanted to be a cardiologist? She always followed her heart.

28. What did the cardiologist say about Mr Roy's heart condition? "I can heartly believe you are so sick."

29. How did the cardiac surgeon show his girlfriend where his heart lie? With a scalpel and bone saw.

30. What was the heart-wrenching story Sara narrated? It was how a cardiac surgeon became a car mechanic.

31. What did the cardiac surgeon say when he found out that the organ for transplantation was delivered to his home instead of the hospital? "Home is where the heart is."

32. What would you call a bad date with a cardiologist? A heart time.

33. Why should you remember to take candles off a birthday cake before eating it? You might get heartburn.

34. What did the cardiologist's mother say to her children at dinner? "Eat your heart out."

35. Why could the physician not find their lover's heart during the surgery? Because it was on their sleeves.

36. What was the doctor feeling before entering the operation theatre? Immense stent-tion.

37. Why did the shy doctor call his wife a thoracic cavity? Because she kept his heart.

38. Why was the student cardiologist crying after the dissection class? Because it was heart-breaking.

39. What are two bakers in love called? Sweet-hearts.

40. Why would the Backstreet Boys make terrible cardiologists? Because they would claim that every heart condition is nothing but a heart-ache.

41. After the bypass surgery, which movie would a cardiologist tell her patient to watch? 'Braveheart'.

42. When the cardiology said that the patient required emergency heart surgery, what did the patient reply? "I'll bypass my heart problems."

Valentine's Day Heart Jokes

Valentine's Day isn't just for chocolates and roses; it's also for sharing those heart-filled chuckles. Whether you're looking to win over your crush, entertain friends, or just get into the spirit of the day, these Valentine's Day heart jokes are the perfect blend of sweet and silly. Let's uncover some rib-tickling humor that's bound to make any heart skip a beat!

43. Why did Lily paint the hearts in her Valentine's Day card in white? Because she was feeling lighthearted.

44. What do you call a lover who leaves his date in the midway of Valentine's Day? An halfhearted lover.

45. What did Herbie, the gardener gift his girlfriend on Valentine's Day? A heart-beet.

46. What did the locksmith tell his girlfriend on Valentine's Day? "You have the key to my heart."

47. What did a plumber say to his love interest on Valentine's Day? "You get my heart pumping."

48. Why was Grey's heart pumping so fast when he met his girlfriend on Valentine's Day? He had tachycardia.

49. What did the mushroom say to its girlfriend on Valentine's Day? "I have so mushroom for you in my heart."

50. Why did Karen gift her boyfriend a lettuce plant? Because it's all heart.

51. What did the girl say to her boyfriend on Valentine's Day? "My love for you cannot be measured, it is off the ch-hearts."

52. Why did Wiona think that a defibrillator was a romantic gesture for Valentine's Day? Because she wanted to show that her husband sends shocks to her heart.

53. Why didn't Daisy pay rent to live with her boyfriend? Because she lived in his heart.

54. What did the cardiologist say to his girlfriend, who is a geologist? "You make my heart gush, and thus I lava you."

55. What did the Italian chef say to his girlfriend on Valentine's Day? "You will always have a pizza my heart."

Heart jokes, whether they're romantic, medical, or just plain silly, offer a delightful way to spread joy and warmth. They can bridge gaps between the lovelorn and lovers, or even bring a smile to a hardworking cardiologist's face. The best part? They're accessible to everyone! So don't miss out on the chance to lighten up a conversation, make Valentine's Day special, or simply brighten someone's day. Go ahead and share a heart joke or two, and let the laughter flow.

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Written by Oluwatosin Michael

Bachelor of Science specializing in Microbiology

Oluwatosin Michael picture

Oluwatosin MichaelBachelor of Science specializing in Microbiology

With a Bachelor's in Microbiology from the Federal University of Agriculture, Abeokuta, Ogun State, Oluwatosin has honed his skills as an SEO content writer, editor, and growth manager. He has written articles, conducted extensive research, and optimized content for search engines. His expertise extends to leading link-building efforts and revising onboarding strategies. 

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