90+ Best Pig Jokes That Will Make Your Kids Squeal With Laughter

Joan Agie
Feb 29, 2024 By Joan Agie
Originally Published on Aug 21, 2020
Edited by Jacob Fitzbright
Fact-checked by Isobel Murphy
Young piglet on hay at pig breeding farm.
Age: 0-99
Read time: 9.2 Min

Image © Reddish Vale Farm.

Can't resist a hearty guffaw? Well, you're in for a treat! It's time to put on your muck boots and head to the farm because today's comedic stars are the clever, curly-tailed pigs. From the adorable antics of piglets to the hilarious hijinks of the heftiest hogs, this compiled treasure trove of pig jokes will have you squealing with laughter. So, get ready to dive snout-first into a barnyard of fun-filled, snort-inducing puns that are guaranteed to bring on the belly laughs all day long.

Question And Answer Pig Jokes

Pull up a hay bale and settle in for a playful round of pig-inspired question-and-answer fun! From playful piglets to the jolliest of jumbo pigs, these barnyard jests are sure to get everyone grinning from ear to ear. So gather your friends and squeal with laughter together at these fantastic and undoubtedly oink-credible pig jokes.

1. How do MI6 pigs write top-secret messages to one another? They use invisible oink.

2. What happens when you play tug-of-war with a pig? You get pulled pork.

3. What do you call a pig with no legs? A groundhog.

4. Why was the pig given a red card at the football game? It was playing dirty.

5. What do you call a pig that drives around recklessly? A road hog.

6. What's a pig's favorite karate move? The pork chop.

7. What do you get when you cross a pig and a cactus? A porky-pine.

8. If you knew a pig that just won the lottery, what would you call him? Filthy rich.

9. What do you get if you cross a dinosaur and a pig? Jurassic Pork.

10. What happened when the pig pen broke? They had to use a pig pencil.

11. What do you get if you cross a pig and a tortoise? You get a slow-pork.

12. Which school do flying pigs go to? Hogwarts.

13. How do you stop a warthog from charging? Remove his credit card.

14. What would happen if pigs could fly? The price of pork would skyrocket.

15. What's a pig's favorite sport? Mud wrestling.

16. What is the most common Halloween character for a pig to dress up as? Franken-swine.

17. How do pigs greet their family and friends? With hogs and kisses.

18. What do you call a pig with a rash? Ham and eggs-zema.

19. What is a pig's favorite ballet production? Swine Lake.

20. What do pigs do on the evening of February 14th? They have a valen-swine's dinner.

21. What do you call a pig with three eyes? A piiig.

22. What do you get when you cross a pig and a centipede? Bacon and legs.

23. What do pigs call the washing machine? The hogwash.

24. Why are books about pigs so interesting? There's always a twist in the tale.

25. How do pigs talk to each other? With swine language.

26. What do you call an angry pig? Disgruntled.

27. What do you get when you cross a pig and Superman? The Man of Squeal.

28. What was the pig doing in the kitchen? Bacon.

29. What do you call a pig that can't mind its own business? A nosey porker.

30. How does a mommy pig put her piglets to sleep? She reads them pigtails.

31. Why do pigs have the best homes of all the farm animals? Because they're quite sty-lish.

32. What do you call a pig thief? A hamburglar.

33. What's the name of the smartest pig that ever lived? Ein- swine.

34. How do you take a sick pig to the hospital? In an hambulance.

35. What else can you call the story of the Three Little Pigs? A Pig Tail.

36. What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu? With bird flu, you need tweetment, but with swine flu, you need oink-ment.

37. What do you get if you cross a pig with a dinosaur? A porkasaurus rex.

38. Why did the farmer call his pig an ink? Because he always ran out of (the) pen.

39. What happens when a pig mixes two colors together? He makes a pigment.

40. Where do pigs get together for a laugh? The meet market.

Knock Knock Pig Jokes

Fattening pigs on a large commercial breeding pig

Image © Heidelbergerin, Pixabay

Knock knock! Who's there? It's a whole hog-full of laughter, ready to brighten up your day! If you're ready for some porcine-inspired merriment, then buckle up because these knock-knock pig jokes are sure to have you rolling in fits of giggles. These jests are not just rib-ticklers, they're a barrel of laughs, hammed up just for you!

41. Knock! Knock!

Who’s there?

Pigmy.

Pigmy who?

Pigmy up at seven o’clock.

42. Knock! Knock!

Who's there?

Bacon.

Bacon who?

Bacon a cake for your birthday!

43. Knock! Knock!

Who's there?

Sow.

Sow who?

Sow nice to finally meet you!

44. Knock! Knock!

Who’s there?

Pig.

Pig who?

Pig on someone your own size!

45. Knock! Knock!

Who's there?

Ham.

Ham who?

Ham-azed you didn't recognize my knock!

Pig-Themed Short Joke Stories

Get ready to giggle and guffaw at these pig-themed short joke stories! Perfect for sharing with pals or spinning at family gatherings, these comical tales are packed with porcine puns and hog-tastic humor. So, pull up a hay bale, get comfy, and let the barnyard banter begin!

46. In the cold of winter, a man says to his girlfriend, "Should we bring the pig inside, it's so cold out there."

"But it stinks!", says the girlfriend.

The man replies, "He'll get used to it!"

47. While driving in the city, a policeman stops a woman in a car with a pig in the front seat. "Ma'am, what are you doing with that pig?", he says, 'You should take it to the zoo.'

'OK officer, will do', the woman replied with a smile. The next week, the policeman sees the same woman with a pig in her front seat again, this time, both of them are wearing sunglasses. The policeman thinks she's trying to disguise herself and says, "I thought you were going to take that pig to the zoo!"

The woman replied, "I did. We had a great time! Now we're going to the beach for the weekend!"

48. A farmer was showing off his prize pig to a friend. The friend asked, "Why does the pig have a wooden leg?"

The farmer replied, "That pig is so special, we didn't want to eat him all at once!"

49. Two pigs are chatting on a sunny afternoon. One pig asks, "Why do you have an umbrella?"

The other pig replies, "I heard it might rain cats and dogs. I can handle the dogs, but I'm allergic to cats!"

Witty Pig Puns

Next up is a barnyard bonanza of clever and funny pig puns that will have you grinning from ear to ear. These witty, pig-inspired quips are not only rib-tickling, they're also hambelievably funny! From piglets to porkers, these pig puns will turn your snorts into chuckles and outright laughter. So, strap in, hold onto your funny bones, and get ready for an oink-credible adventure into the world of porcine puns.

50. What do bad piggies like to do at the theater? Squeal the spotlight.

51. Which Star Wars character could be a pig? Ham Solo.

52. What kind of work do piglets have to do after school? Their hamwork.

53. What is a pig’s favorite Shakespeare play? Ham-let.

54. What would pigs call their theory of the universe's creation? The Pig Bang Theory.

55. How would you fit more pigs on the farm? By building a sty-scraper.

56. Why did the piglet yell at his sister at the dinner table? She was hogging all the food.

57. When it's nice and sunny, what do pigs like to do? Go for a pignic.

58. What kind of truck does a pig like to drive? A pig-up truck.

59. What instrument is most commonly played by pigs? Pigcussion.

60. Where do pigs go on their summer holidays? To tropigal islands.

61. What is the name of the greatest pig painter in the world? Pigcasso.

62. Why did the pig get arrested by a police officer? He was a pig-pocket.

63. Which president could really be a pig in disguise? Abra-ham Link-oln.

64. Where do pigs leave their cars? In a porking lot.

65. Why did the pig lose the race? She pulled a hamstring.

66. What did the pig say to his lady pig on Valentine's Day? "Don't go bacon my heart!"

67. What did Papa pig shout to the stubborn teen pig? "You keep taking me for grunted!"

68. Did you hear about the piglets who wanted to do something special for Mother’s Day? They threw a sowprize party.

69. Why are pigs awful basketball players? They hog the ball.

70. What do you call it when you're walking through the bushes and a group of pigs jump out on you? A hambush.

71. What’s it called when a bunch of pigs compete in athletic games? The Olympigs.

72. What do you call a pig that takes out a loan? A boar-ower.

73. What do you call a Spanish pig? Porque.

74. What do you call two pigs who write to each other often? Pen pals.

75. What is a pig’s favorite kind of pie? Mud pie.

76. What did the butcher say to the pig? "Nice to meat you."

77. Where did the pig go on holiday? Snout and about.

78. What do you call a cut-up pig? Porkchopped.

79. What do you say to a pig with no nose? "You have n’ought a snout!"

80. What do you call a pig that does a lot of charity work? A philanthropig.

81. How do you treat pig skin that has a rash? With oinkment.

82. Why did the lady pig break up with her boyfriend? Because he was a boar.

83. What do you call a guinea pig that joins the mafia? A hamster.

84. Which magazine does the Big Bad Wolf read? Porks Illustrated.

85. How does a young pig hit on someone he likes? He invites them over to Netflix and swill.

86. Why did the farmer make the pigs do the paperwork? Because it was grunt work.

87. Why did the pig get arrested? He was a pigpocket.

88. What brand of clothes do trendy pigs wear? Calvin Swine.

89. What do you call a pig that gets fired from his job? Canned ham.

90. What do you get when you cross a Dalmatian and a pig? Spotted bacon.

91. What is a pig’s favorite color? Ma-hog-any.

Well, folks, you've come to the end of this snortingly funny pig-joke journey! Hope you and your loved ones have had much fun with these hilarious pig jokes. Remember, laughter is a powerful tool in bringing families closer, and these pig jokes, whether it's a witty pun or a knock-knock joke, are perfect for sharing a giggle or two. After all, who can resist a cheeky piglet punchline or a hamtastic hog tale? So, keep these jokes handy for a quick smile, and remember to spread the joy of laughter always.

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Written by Joan Agie

Bachelor of Science specializing in Human Anatomy

Joan Agie picture

Joan AgieBachelor of Science specializing in Human Anatomy

With 3+ years of research and content writing experience across several niches, especially on education, technology, and business topics. Joan holds a Bachelor’s degree in Human Anatomy from the Federal University of Technology, Akure, Nigeria, and has worked as a researcher and writer for organizations across Nigeria, the US, the UK, and Germany. Joan enjoys meditation, watching movies, and learning new languages in her free time.

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