30 Harry Potter Jokes That Even Muggles Will Love
Gallery
These wizard jokes will have you laughing like Bellatrix by the end of this list.
Harry Potter is a classic story that many children enjoy. What could be better than watching the movies and reading the books? Telling magic puns about them of course! Here are 30 of the best Harry Potter jokes for kids that will tickle you more than the rictusempra charm!
General Harry Potter Jokes
For those who can't get enough of Harry Potter, here's 10 funny Hogwarts jokes that work like magic.
1) Q: What do you call two Quiddich players that share a dorm?
A: Broom-mates.
2) Q: Why was Harry Potter sent to Dumbledore's office?
A: He was cursing in class.
3) Q:Why doesn't Voldemort wear glasses?
A: Nobody nose.
4) Q:Why is Mad Eye Moody such a bad teacher?
A: He can't get his pupils under control.
5) What's a wizard's favourite kind of cereal?
A: Huffle Puffs.
6) Q:How many Slytherins does it take to stir a cauldron?
A: Just one, they'll put their wand in and the world revolves around them.
7) Q:Why does Professor Snape stand in the middle of the road?
A: So you'll never know what side he's on!
8) Q: How would you get a magical creature in your house?
A: Through the Gryffin-door!
9) Q: Do you know anyone who could teach me to play Quiddich?
A: I'm sure Oliver Wood.
10) Q: How do the Malfoy's enter the room?
A: They Slytherin!
Knock Knock Jokes
Who's there? It's five more hilarious Harry Potter jokes.
11) Knock knock.
Who's there?
You know.
You know who?
Exactly! Avada kedavra!
12) Knock knock.
Who's there?
Harry.
Harry who?
Harry up it's getting cold out here!
13) Knock knock.
Who's there?
Dumbledore.
Dumbledore who?
This dumb o'l door won't open, please let me in!
14) Knock knock.
Who's there?
He who must not be named.
He who must not be named who?
I can't say who, that's the whole point!
15) Knock knock.
Who's there?
Who.
Who who?
*Hedwig flies away*
Harry Potter One Liners
These riddikulus Harry Potter puns are something you can Slytherin to any conversation.
16) If you don't like this Harry Potter joke, there's something Ron with you!
17) On a scale of one to ten, how obsessed am I with Harry Potter? 9 and 3/4!
18) What language does the postman use when delivering to Hogwarts? Parceltongue!
19) What does Harry Potter have that Voldemort doesn't? A nose!
20) Why can't Harry Potter tell the difference between his best friend and his potion pot? They're both cauldron!
21) How much does it cost Harry Potter and his friends to watch their favourite sport? A quid each!
22) Why did Snape cross the road twice? He's a double crosser!
23) Why does Voldemort prefer Twitter over Facebook? He doesn't have any friends, only followers!
24) How does Voldemort know Nagini likes him? She gives him hugs and hisses!
25) What do you call an electrocuted Dark Lord? Volt-demort!
Magic Harry Potter Jokes
To finish off the list, here are five more Harry Potter jokes that will make you laugh harder than a giggle potion!
26) Snape: The Dark Lord Voldemort is coming!
Dumbledore: Oh no are you serious?!
Snape: No, I'm Severus.
27) The innkeeper says "sorry, we don't serve time travellers here." Hermione walks into the Three Broomsticks with a time turner.
28) Two Hungarian Horntails walk into The Three Broomsticks. One of them says "Wow it sure is hot in here." The second one shoots back, "Shut your mouth!"
29) A wizard walks into the Three Broomsticks and orders a forgetfulness potion. He turns to the wizard beside him and says, "So, do I come here often?"
30) Professor Quirrell walks into the Three Broomsticks and shows the Dark Lord's face to the innkeeper. The Dark Lord orders a butterbeer and the innkeeper says, "I can't serve you, you're out of your mind!"
Editorial credit: s_bukley / Shutterstock.com
Editorial credit: Joyce Nelson / Shutterstock.com
We Want Your Photos!
More for You
See All
Bachelor's degree specializing in Art
Megan WynneBachelor's degree specializing in Art
Dublin resident Megan is a lover of all things artistic. She's currently pursuing a degree in Art and enjoys experimenting with photography and painting. When she's not in the darkroom or the studio, you can find her enjoying the newest films at the cinema. She also loves spending quality time with her two younger sisters and discovering new things to do in the city.
Diploma of Education, Fine Arts, Bachelor of Arts specializing in Illustration and Visual media
Sarah HallamDiploma of Education, Fine Arts, Bachelor of Arts specializing in Illustration and Visual media
With a Diploma in Education specializing in Fine Arts (Painting) and a Bachelor of Arts specializing in Illustration and Visual media from the University of Arts London, Sarah previously was a London-based teacher who brought her passion for art and culture to the classroom. Her creative endeavors include painting classes and experimenting with new recipes. She draws inspiration from the world around her and enjoys sharing her knowledge with others while sipping a cup of tea.
Disclaimer
1) Kidadl is independent and to make our service free to you the reader we are supported by advertising. We hope you love our recommendations for products and services! What we suggest is selected independently by the Kidadl team. If you purchase using the Buy Now button we may earn a small commission. This does not influence our choices. Prices are correct and items are available at the time the article was published but we cannot guarantee that on the time of reading. Please note that Kidadl is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon. We also link to other websites, but are not responsible for their content.
2) At Kidadl, we strive to recommend the very best activities and events. We will always aim to give you accurate information at the date of publication - however, information does change, so it’s important you do your own research, double-check and make the decision that is right for your family. We recognise that not all activities and ideas are appropriate for all children and families or in all circumstances. Our recommended activities are based on age but these are a guide. We recommend that these ideas are used as inspiration, that ideas are undertaken with appropriate adult supervision, and that each adult uses their own discretion and knowledge of their children to consider the safety and suitability. Kidadl cannot accept liability for the execution of these ideas, and parental supervision is advised at all times, as safety is paramount. Anyone using the information provided by Kidadl does so at their own risk and we can not accept liability if things go wrong.
3) Because we are an educational resource, we have quotes and facts about a range of historical and modern figures. We do not endorse the actions of or rhetoric of all the people included in these collections, but we think they are important for growing minds to learn about under the guidance of parents or guardians.