60+ Best Cactus Puns That Will Prick Your Interest

Rajnandini Roychoudhury
Dec 12, 2023 By Rajnandini Roychoudhury
Originally Published on Dec 14, 2020
Edited by Isobel Murphy
Barrel Cactus in southern desert
?
Age: 0-99
Read time: 8.7 Min

Cacti can be seen mainly in desert regions.

But now it is becoming more popular for people to have cacti in their homes as house plants. They are easy to maintain because they don't need as much water as other plants.

There are approximately 2500 different species of cacti around the world. Cacti can survive for a long time without water, with some species being able to go up to two years without water.

That's why cacti are so prevalent in deserts. We have compiled a list of cactus puns and cactus one-liners for you to use as cactus Instagram captions and to share with your friends and family. Here is a list of the best cactus puns that are looking sharp.

If you want to read more articles full of jokes and puns, check out these cactus jokes and these succulent puns.

Sharp Yet Cute Cactus Puns

Beavertail cactus in bloom

Here we have a list of cactus puns that include some sharp puns about cacti, tree puns and plant puns, which are also really cute. You can easily pick your favorite cactus pun out of this list.

1. You can directly put colors on cacti. You just have to use a Sharpie.

2. I once knew a cactus that lived on Sesame Street. I used to call it Prickle me Elmo.

3. I once had an enemy whose name was Cactus. He pulled aloe move on me that I could never forget.

4. I never really understood cacti, even when they taught us about it at school. I never really got the point of it.

5. I heard about a man that fell on a cactus the other day. He said he'll be sure to pay attention a lot more sharply next time.

6. All  succulents become a lot more selfish when they are in teams, probably because they become Cact-i from Cact-us.

7. The cactus went to the restaurant one day. He ordered some desert at the end of his meal.

8. There was a man who kept calling his wife Cactus every time he saw her, when actually her name was Vera. He said it was quicker than saying, "'Allo Vera!" every time.

9. There was once a guy who took an art class that concentrated on cactus photography. He said it was a very pricky subject.

10. There are a lot of intelligent cacti because cactus parents only know how to raise sharp kids.

11. Whenever a cactus goes for a job interview, they always wear a cactie.

12. Whenever any cacti want to start a family they go to Plant Parenthood.

13. A man decided to put a few succulents at the front of all his windows. When his wife asked why he did it, he told her, "Because darling, aloe view."

14. Whenever an Australian succulent meets any new plant, It says to them, "Aloe there, mate."

15. Someone stole the succulent plants from the house next door the other day. That was aloe move.

16. You should try the grilled Aloe Vera when you go to a restaurant. It's very succulent.

17. A cactus got picked for his school football team one day and helped them win their most important match. His teammates all told him later that they were sure glad that they pricked him.

18. Two cactus best friends participated in a school play and played the role of Batman and Robin. Everyone said they made a prickly pear.

19. The two cactus best friends patched up after an ugly fight. One said to the other, "Let's stick together from now on."

20. A cactus was going out to dinner with a few of her friends, so she dressed up. Her friend complimented her, she said "You're looking sharp."

Cacti Puns That Are Pretty Fly

‍This list of cactus name puns, water puns, plant one-liners and plant puns will prickle your punny bone.

21. The male cactus decided to propose to the female cactus. He went to her and said, "I'm ready to go from cact-i to cact-us."

22. The cactus who was turning 16, decided to throw a sweet 16 birthday party. Her friend said "I hope your birthday party planning is on point."

23. When the cactus went to the plant college, he met many new kinds of plants. His new friend told him, "You seem pretty fly for a cacti."

24. Two cacti were getting married. The husband cactus said in his vows, "I promise never to desert you."

25. Two rival cacti got chosen in the same team at school. They were fighting a lot, so one of them said to the other, "We have to get along because you're stuck with me."

26. The newlywed cactus couple were on their honeymoon. The wife cactus told her husband, "I'm so glad that we pricked each other."

27. When the team of cacti scientists got stuck in the middle of an experiment, one guy came ahead and tried a different way to succeed. His teammate later told him, "That was an efficactus approach you took there."

28. A cactus once got in a music machine and couldn't get out of it. The machine kept playing one song on repeat. The cactus later said that he was stuck on the song.

29. The little cactus was feeling sad one day. So to cheer her up her mother said, "What do you have to worry about? You're a suc-cute-lent."

30. I trusted my cactus, but it seems that he just stabbed me in the back.

31. I wanted to make up some cactus jokes for the comedy show, but it seems that I'm not that sharp.

32. The cactus couple threw a Christmas party for the neighborhood, and on the cake, they wrote, "Merry Cactmas."

33. On the occasion of New Years Eve, cacti wish everyone well by shouting, "Have a fancactus New Year."

34. The little cactus was worried about being bad at math. Her teacher tried to encourage her by saying, "Don't worry. Keep trying. Cactus makes perfect."

35. The cactus went to a theme park for the first time in his life. When his friend asked if he liked it, he said, "Of course, that was fan-cactus!"

36. The favorite song of every cactus is, 'Can't Touch This.'

37. The coach was choosing players for the baseball team. The little overly excited cactus started yelling, "Prick me! Prick me!"

38. Sitting around the campfire, a cactus was telling a horror story. Another cactus that was listening intently said, "I'm on pins and needles."

39. The cactus went to a hairdresser and got a new haircut because she wanted to be looking sharp for her upcoming interview. The assistant had to prick her hair up from the floor later.

40. The cactus forgot his way back home when he decided to go on a solo adventure. He was in quite a prickle.

Funny Cactus Puns That'll Prickle You

Here you'll find plant puns, a cactus pun or two, desert puns, some funny cactus sayings and some clever puns that will prickle your funny bones.

41. The cactus was going through a rough patch. His neighbor tried to brighten her up by saying, "Hey, things might be rough, but you are still blooming."

42. The little cactus picked lots of food off his plate before he started eating. He was a prickly eater.

43. A cactus once accidentally broke the favorite tub of another cactus. So the second cactus came to him and said, "Hey, I have a bone to prick with you."

44. There was a succulent in the neighborhood shaped like a cat, and its name was Catcus. It greeted everyone by making purrickly sounds.

45. We went to the comedy show last week where a comedian told many cactus jokes. It was not all that it was cactus to be.

46. A cactus came running to his friend to tell him that he saw someone try to steal the tub they liked. He said, "I saw him take it away. Before my very cacti."

47. A group of cacti was going to a music show, and one of their friends was late. So they called him and said, "Will you please come prickly?"

48. Two cacti were having a conversation about the cactus in their school who never listened to anybody. One of them said, "I tried talking to him, but it's like banging my head against a prick wall."

49. The dad cactus wanted to dress up like a porcupine. He said, "That'll just prickle my fancy."

50. The cactus decided to take up acupuncture as a profession. It wasn't the most prick-tical choice, but he made it work.

51. A cactus once won 100,000 dollars in a lottery, but while he was going to pick the money up, he lost the ticket. The prickle finger of fate was certainly cruel to him.

52. It rained in the desert after two long years. The rainwater was prickling down the side of the succulents.

53. The cactus finally got his certification to practice medicine. He was now a doctor in spike-ology.

54. The cactus needed something to cover his pointy ends before he went to the balloon festival. So he went and spiked a deal with the shopkeeper to give him something for a low price.

55. We watched a thriller movie about a cactus the other day that had an amazing twist at the end of it. My dad said afterward, "Well, that had a spiketacular ending."

56. The cactus showed the puzzle to her big brother when she couldn't solve it, no matter how much she tried. She just wanted a fresh cact-eye to look at it.

57. A cactus can survive for a while without any water. So they have plant-y of life in them even if it doesn't rain for quite some time in the desert.

58. The wife cactus was upset, and when the husband asked her what happened, she told him, "You've been taking me for planted."

59. When the little cactus won her first trophy in school, she came back home shouting to everyone, "I have some plantastic news."

60. The cactus couple loved their new apartment. They were very happy occuplants.

Here at Kidadl, we have carefully created lots of great family-friendly jokes, puns and riddles for everyone to enjoy! If you liked our suggestions for cactus puns then why not take a look at these desert puns, or these plant jokes that you'll be very frond of?

We Want Your Photos!
We Want Your Photos!

We Want Your Photos!

Do you have a photo you are happy to share that would improve this article?
Email your photos

More for You

See All

Written by Rajnandini Roychoudhury

Bachelor of Arts specializing in English, Master of Arts specializing in English

Rajnandini Roychoudhury picture

Rajnandini RoychoudhuryBachelor of Arts specializing in English, Master of Arts specializing in English

With a Master of Arts in English, Rajnandini has pursued her passion for the arts and has become an experienced content writer. She has worked with companies such as Writer's Zone and has had her writing skills recognized by publications such as The Telegraph. Rajnandini is also trilingual and enjoys various hobbies such as music, movies, travel, philanthropy, writing her blog, and reading classic British literature. 

Read full bio >