75 Best Grape Puns, Jokes, And One-Liners

Rajnandini Roychoudhury
Feb 29, 2024 By Rajnandini Roychoudhury
Originally Published on Dec 02, 2020
Edited by Isobel Murphy
Black and green grapes on wooden table
Age: 0-99
Read time: 8.8 Min

Did you know, grape belongs to the berry family? Well, even then, we'd all have our own raisin to like a bunch of grapes.

Grapes are known as the fresh table fruit and majorly for its wine fruit quality. Over it's cultivation time of around 8000 years, grapes are now classified as a superfood. They don't just add flavor and texture to a recipe but are an excellent source of vitamin A, C, B6, antioxidants, and folate. They also help to prevent diseases like cancer, Alzheimer's, and heart-related diseases. If one gets confused about the uses of this berry fruit, this fruit is highly useful. Grapes work great as fresh table fruits, or they can be used to make some really good wine, grape juice, jam, jelly, raisins, grape seed extract, or grapeseed oil and vinegar.

What more? These sour and sweet grape bunches sure make up for some really cute fruit puns, funny jokes, grape sayings, and funny puns. Check the list below for funny puns related to grapes.

Funny Grape Jokes

Funny jokes based on grape or a funny grape pun is something all the grape lovers will like. Check this list for some funny grape jokes and laughter doses that you are sure to like. Of course, you can be a humor leader telling these funny puns and jokes, because who wouldn't be scared of a grape leader?

Black grapes on table with juices in glasses

1. How does one measure the length of grapevines? They do it in vineyards.

2. How do you think the grapes complain? Oh, they just vine.

3. What happens when sour grapes get angry? They try raisin hell!

4. What did the grape say to others in the bunch? It's grape hanging out with you guys.

6. What did the daddy grape say to the crying baby grape? Stop wine-ing, kid.

7. What did the grape say when it was asked to jump in a drink? Of course, wine not!

8. What did the sour grape do? All he could do was wine.

9. What does it mean when you have a snack bag full of grapes? You are going to have a grape day today.

10. What do you say when a grape falls off the vine and end up drying? Everything happens for a raisin.

11. What fruits do the batteries like the most? The currants.

12. What if someone offered you raisins with juice in them? Oh, it would be grape.

13. What is the purpose of scientists writing a paper about grapes and consciousness? They are just raisin awareness.

14. What would a grape say if you step on it? It won't say anything; it will just let out a little wine.

15. What would a superhero who doesn't wear a cape and dislikes grapes say? Not all heroes wear grapes.

16. What would be the best wine shop name ever? Best Cellar.

17. What would it be called if you start educating people about the benefits of dried grapes? Raisin awareness.

18. What would the green grape say to the purple grape? Let go, you idiot. Breathe!

19. What would the news show about berries be called? The currant affairs show.

20. Where do the priests go to get fresh and holy grapes? Off devine.

21. Where would the raisins keep their money? In the currant account.

22. Why don't farmers grow grapes? Because they are actually raisin them.

23. Why were blueberries scared of the raisin? Because raisin was once known as grape.

24. Why would a farmer secure a huge loan on his most productive grape tree? Because he was raisin debt-tree.

25. Would the grape cry if it gets crushed when no one's around? No. It will wine instead.

26. Why did the grape get disqualified from the limbo championship? He kept raisin the bar.

27. What did the green grape say to the purple grape? Breathe, damn it! Breathe!

28. Did you hear the joke about the grape? It was pit-iful.

29. What do you call the time in between eating grapes? A pit-stop.

30. Why was the grape late to work? He had to make a pit stop on the way there.

31. What do you call a man that can’t stop eating grapes? A bottomless pit.

32. What kind of decisions do grapes make? Fruitful ones.

33. Who is a grape’s favorite actor? Brad Pit.

34. Why did the grapes get married? They love raisin’ kids.

35. What would a grape love to pet? A Pit Bull.

36. What fruits do the batteries like the most? The currants.

Funny Puns About Grape

Funny purple puns or grape vine puns or wine puns give out some really hearty laughter. Here are a few funny grape puns that you will like. You can also use one of these grape puns to strike deeply funny conversations. A grape pun can also show your wit and humor to your friends. We are out of these puns, you'll at least love one grape pun!

37. There’s a rumour about my group of cows that only eat small fruit. I herd it through the grape vine.

38. Saw a grape in the bank. He was opening a currant account.

39. In a bureau de change and I managed to swap one hundred grapes for fifty raisins. I’m not sure about the currant exchange rate.

40. A friend said a wine he tried recently was bitter and not properly fermented. Sounds like sour grapes to me.

41. A hangover: the wrath of grapes.

42. A fruit-seller I know had dried out all his grapes. He ended up raisin all his prices. A pretty smart seller, that man.

43. A grape met with an accident. His mother in the hospital said, 'I hope the doctors gave him some medicine so that he doesn't wine'.

44. A grape walked into a fruit mixer and didn't even thank the mixer for not squishing it. He was quite an ungrapeful one.

45. A grape wanted to go out in the sun, the others in the bunch said, "You are being unraisinable."

46. A piece of news said that a man drowned in grape stomping, he probably went with the currant.

47. I accidentally crushed a few baby grapes. I didn't mean to, but now they all started wine-ing.

48. If I write about old grapes, would I be raisin awareness on old age, or would it just be a wine?

49. I got lost during my parent's wine tasting, and I said, 'If anyone could lead me to my parents, that would be grape,' everyone just started laughing.

50. I saw a grape who loves being in the sun. I think it was his raisin d'etre.

51. My brother likes stepping on the grapes and squishing them. He believes it is his jam.

52. My brother was choking on a grape, so he stood still, concentrated a bit, and concord it.

53. My dad says that dried grapes are risky beef marinades, and still, once in a while, he ends up raisin the steaks.

54. My friend always has a bunch of grapes drying in his backyard. When I asked, he said, 'I have my own raisins'.

55. My friend is making a song about preserves. He says it is his currant jam.

56. My friend once had to present an essay in the history class. He started, 'Many grapes were berried alive during the grape depression' he loves grapes a little too much, I think.

57. The grape teacher loved teaching. When we asked her how she manages, she said, 'Teaching is my jam', she truly is a grape.

58. My sister hates grapes. When I asked her why, she replied, 'Well, I have my raisins'. Sure she is quite stubborn about her raisins.

59. My sister swapped her 100 grapes with my 50 raisins. We both weren't aware of the currant exchange rate.

60. My sister wore a grape bunch suit with balloons as grapes for Halloween. My father looked at her and asked, 'Will she let out the wine if I burst the grape?' we all laughed like crazy that day.

61. The raisin suddenly stopped in between the road. I think he completely ran out of his juice.

62. Two fresh grapes met at the beach and fell in love. Soon they were raisin kids.

63. Went to the fruit stall to buy some grapes, but he didn't have any. It turned out to be a fruitless affair.

64. We were in a restaurant for breakfast, and the waiter asked my father if he had tried raisin bagels. My dad said, 'What? We can raise bagels?' the waiter sure would've wined.

Insightfully Funny Grape Puns

A Funny fruit pun on a grape or funny quotes as grape puns can be used as cute fruit captions, and funny quotes on Facebook, Pinterest, or social media always get the content better attention. A funny grape pun can be a great option for food puns. Additionally, you can turn one of the funny quotes into a great fruit pun or a grape pun that everyone will like.

65. Grape dried? It's okay, everything happens for a raisin.

66. What do you put as one of the Instagram captions on the day that you have grapes in the morning? 'Have a grape day'!

67. If we are what we eat, then eat dried grapes. We all should be the products of our raisin.

68. My brother achieved grapeness by successfully making grape jelly.

69. My dad calls a hangover the wrath of the grapes. My mother lets him rest on those days.

70. My sister held grapes in her hand and happily said to our mom one of the popular funny grape quotes, 'I love you a bunch'.

71. On my 16th birthday, the grape daughter looked at her grape mom and said, 'You did a grape job raisin me'. This made her burst out into laughter and then tears.

72. People need to know the benefits of eating dried grapes. We all should be raisin awareness.

73. Ran into dried grape at the gym today. He sure was raisin' some weights.

74. Whoever discovered raisins, it was a grape idea.

75. Would you call raisins berryatric, for they are just old wrinkly grapes.

Here at Kidadl, we have carefully created lots of great family-friendly puns for everyone to enjoy! If you liked our suggestions for Grape Puns then you are sure to find the Pineapple Puns hilarious. If you want to read some other berry puns don't miss out on this list of funny Cherry Puns.

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Written by Rajnandini Roychoudhury

Bachelor of Arts specializing in English, Master of Arts specializing in English

Rajnandini Roychoudhury picture

Rajnandini RoychoudhuryBachelor of Arts specializing in English, Master of Arts specializing in English

With a Master of Arts in English, Rajnandini has pursued her passion for the arts and has become an experienced content writer. She has worked with companies such as Writer's Zone and has had her writing skills recognized by publications such as The Telegraph. Rajnandini is also trilingual and enjoys various hobbies such as music, movies, travel, philanthropy, writing her blog, and reading classic British literature. 

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