60 Best Lawyer Puns And Jokes For You To Judge

Rajnandini Roychoudhury
Dec 12, 2023 By Rajnandini Roychoudhury
Originally Published on Dec 02, 2020
Edited by Flora Wilson
Canadian advocate in toga, reading from a red law book
Age: 0-99
Read time: 8.6 Min

These legal puns will have you rolling on the floor and overturning everything in your sight!

Lawyers and judges hold the responsibility of maintaining a citizen's constitutional rights and provide them with legal advice and resources. The legal profession is a highly acclaimed occupation in the modern world.

We have compiled together a list of our top lawyers' jokes just in time for exam season! The courtroom is a legal domain where you'll find all kinds of legal authorities, such as lawyers, judges, barristers, attorneys, and prosecutors as well as defendants.

Law is known to be a system in various countries through which communities regulate and legislate the actions of their citizens and create guidelines for admissible, as well as non-admissable behavior.  We know that law is an extremely tough profession, so these great legal jokes and courtroom puns are available for your judge-ment. Whether you're a year-old pun master or a lawyer graduating from law school, these jokes about lawyers, law school puns, and court jokes will definitely humor you, especially on tough days.

For more great puns and jokes that will surely tickle your funny bone, check out these Doctor Puns, or if you want something that makes your head turn, check out these cool library puns.

Funny Lawyer Puns

These puns are so funny that they should be out lawed. Here are some lawyer puns for your entertainment.

1.  A woman sued a hotel for losing her luggage. Unfortunately, she lost the case.

2. Don't judge a law book by its cover up.

3. Clowns are most commonly jailed for mans-laughter.

4. A lawyer went to his local restaurant to wind down after a complicated trial. "What would you like with your orange juice?", the waiter asked. "Just ice", he replied.

5. The semicolon who committed the neighborhood robberies was administered two consecutive sentences by the lawyer.

6. Children are not allowed into the bar examination because they're under-age.

7.  For lunch, the lawyer worked on Cole's law.

8. My friend had to call his lawyer because his neighbor's hair was littered all over his property. Turns out, his neighbor got booked for tress-passing.

9. A lawyer was apprehended outside of his house for not staying in bed, as mandated by the high court. "Stop, you're under a-rest", exclaimed the policeman.

10. Abraham Lincoln never had to call for a lawyer because he was already in a cent.

11. The lawyer had to move his cow because it got a mooing violation.

12. The lawyer's client had to face a death sentence because of his bad execution.

13.  When chickens graduate from law school they become legal tenders.

14. My wife's parents ran away from the cops after having a hefty argument. They're now my out-laws.

15. My friend, a lawyer, stole my tuxedo after my wedding. I'm filing a lawsuit against him tomorrow morning.

16.  A priest who graduates from law school is called a father-in-law.

17.  The lawyer won the luggage lawsuit in less than 6 hours. It turned out to be a brief case.

18. A lawyer got summoned in court for drying his clothes on the edge of a cliff. The judge warned him and gave him a suspended sentence.

19.  My lawyer went to a rock concert last night and injured his eardrum. He called me this morning to tell me that he couldn't attend today's hearing.

20. The judge charged the attorney who killed her yoga instructor with pre-meditated murder.

21. The bulb was relieved when his lawyer told him that he'd only been charged with a light sentence.

22. The barrister was late to work because he couldn't find his lawsuit.

23. The jellyfish asked his father, an attorney, "Dad, why did that clownfish go to prison?". "Well, because he was gill-tea", replied his father.

24. A photograph hurriedly rushed into his attorney's office and screamed, "I think someone is framing me!".

25. My father was a lawyer for 25 years before he went to culinary school. Now, he's a sue chef.

26. The golden retriever didn't make any money at his first law firm. He only worked on pro-bone-o cases.

27. Alligators make good lawyers because they are efficient a-litigators.

28.  A lawyer got her last name changed to Demenor, so now everyone in the law office calls her Miss Demenor.

29.  A barrister was embroiled in a complex money laundering case. In the end, he forfeited his claims because he didn't have the testi-money ready.

30. The police knocked over a man's lamp while searching his apartment for clues related to a robbery. "That wasn't warranted!", he exclaimed.

Lawyer Jokes

We have collated together the most appealing jokes for you to pick from. These funny lawyer jokes will humor your legal judgment and make you wonder why you didn't take the stand for lawyer jokes earlier. In today's day and age, you'll find lawyers for any issue that you're facing, since the legal field is set in a vast landscape, and there are a variety of specializations for lawyers to focus on.

Some of the most prominent types of lawyers include intellectual property lawyers, corporate lawyers, immigration lawyers, criminal lawyers, tax lawyers, and contract lawyers. Barristers mainly litigate during court proceedings and aid their clients through advocacy and legal opinions. Barrister jokes cause a laughing riot in the legal community.

Here are the best lawyer jokes for you to feast on.

31. Why are lawyers always so charming? Because they have their own appeal.

32. Why did the elephant lawyer lose his case? Because his argument was irrele-phant.

33. How did the lawyer help his friend settle the stolen coffee case? He was a barista.

34. Why didn't the deaf lawyer come to his court case today?  He lost his hearing.

35. How did the lawyer know that the knight wasn't the culprit? He had an iron-clad alibi!

36. What did the lawyer name his newborn daughter? Sue.

37. Why did the lawyer have so much trouble fighting Santa's case? He came with a clause.

38. What did the lawyer do to get convicted of first-degree murder? Start his free trial.

39.  What do poets always keep in their car to avoid paying legal fees to a lawyer? A poetic license.

40. What do barristers always keep with themselves to smell good? A judge-mint.

Law Student Jokes

Law students are known to be extremely hard workers and advocates of the 'long haul'. Sometimes all you need after the end of a long hard trial is a little bit of laughter to dispel all of your worries. No matter your sense of humor, these jokes will surely appeal to you even on a hard day. These jokes are not court in nature, so we're sure you're going to enjoy them.

Here are some law student jokes for days when you need just that little bit of extra boost to get you through the day.

41. Why did the law student go to the court wearing a shirt with no sleeves? Because he had the right to bare arms.  

42. Why wasn't the convicted law student able to go back to his apartment? Because he didn't get re-leased.

43.  What did the divorce law student want to name his firm? Null and void.

44.  What do law students need to make any event a success? At least two parties.

45.  Why didn't the shabby law student pass his final exams?  He didn't make a good appearance.

46. Why was the law student not allowed to sleep on the bench? He was served a bench warrant.

47. Why did the law student not come back to court after paying his fees? He didn't have a personal bond.

48. Why did the airline win the case against the law student? He forgot his arguments in the brief.

49. Why did the law student not win his case? He had no conviction.

50. How did the young law student end up scoring the best grades in her class? She closely studied her flaws.

Jokes About Judges

Judgment hammer, Legal office.

British Judges in the 17th century were mandated to wear powdered wigs in the courtroom, as it was a part of their legal attire. The rules for their wig style were just as strict as they were for their bodily clothing. Judges who wore wigs and gowns to court were generally identified as the topmost legal authority and worked at much higher levels than attorneys and solicitors.

In smaller cases, there is usually only a single judge presiding over the case, while in a larger judicial trial, there might even be a panel of judges present to analyze the claims of the defendant and the prosecutor. A judge is supposed to hold an unbiased frame of reference and assess the arguments of both parties that are present. Solicitors and barristers are the lawyers that are appointed to present the required evidence and arguments to the judge in charge.

Here are some funny judge jokes that will charge you right up!

51.  What did the judge exclaim when the skunk arrived in the courtroom? Odor! Odor in the court please!

52. What makes judges and English teachers so similar? They both give out long and short sentences.

53. Why did the judge declare the pony to be innocent? He deneighed all the accusations.

54. Why did the judge allow the penguin to roam freely outside of the courtroom? He wasn't termed as a flight risk.

55. What did the judge say to the battery when he took the stand? You're guilty as charged.

56. What did the lizard judge use to balance both parties' arguments? Scales.

57. Why did the judge dread listening to cross-examinations? He had test anxiety.

58. Why did the judge sentence the man to 10 years in prison for breaking his lamp? The man hadn't paid the damages.

59. Why was the defendant scared about losing his house throughout the trial? The judge had not given him fore-closure.

60. Why did the judge choose the alligator as the chief prosecutor? He was a good interro-gator.

Here at Kidadl, we have carefully created lots of great family-friendly puns for everyone to enjoy! If you liked our suggestions for lawyer puns then why not take a look at accounting puns, or for something different take a look at medical puns.

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Written by Rajnandini Roychoudhury

Bachelor of Arts specializing in English, Master of Arts specializing in English

Rajnandini Roychoudhury picture

Rajnandini RoychoudhuryBachelor of Arts specializing in English, Master of Arts specializing in English

With a Master of Arts in English, Rajnandini has pursued her passion for the arts and has become an experienced content writer. She has worked with companies such as Writer's Zone and has had her writing skills recognized by publications such as The Telegraph. Rajnandini is also trilingual and enjoys various hobbies such as music, movies, travel, philanthropy, writing her blog, and reading classic British literature. 

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