71 Doctor Puns That Are Medically Hilarious

Katie Unnithan
Dec 12, 2023 By Katie Unnithan
Originally Published on Oct 28, 2020
Fact-checked by Isobel Murphy
Old man consulting with a doctor.

If you are looking for puns for a card, to make someone smile or to impress your children with your humerus puns, we have collected 60 of the best doctor puns and some medical puns  to make anyone chuckle.  

For people with an interest in anatomy, biology, science or even aspiring medical professionals, these puns are a great choice.  We have some adorable puns about food, animals, "why did they go to the doctor?" puns, one line doctor puns, hospital puns and name puns to provide a selection suitable for everyone.

Doctor puns are a great option for budding scientists and can introduce children to medical terms in a silly way. It can help show them some different aspects of science and make the world around them funnier.

It can also help them understand that being ill isn't always scary. Some medical jokes can make life's slips and trips seem more manageable. These puns and jokes for kids with medical themes can make children smile even on those days when being ill is a bit rubbish.

For more sciency laughs, take a look at these spooky skeleton jokes for kids and these cell-arious biology puns for future biologists.

Doctor Puns About Food

Here are some cute doctor puns about food with plenty of medical humor for all ages. If you want some quirky puns that combine food and medical themes then these are for you.

1. Why did the banana go to the doctors? Because he wasn't peeling well!

2. Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because they felt crummy.

3. What did the doctor say to the sick apple? We'll get to the core of this.

4. What do you give a sick lemon? Lemonaid.

5. What happened to the girl who ate food colouring? She dyed a little inside.

6. Who are the only people who don't like doctor puns? People with an irony deficiency.

Doctor Puns About Animals

These doctor puns about animals are delightfully relatable and fun. For people who love animals, nature and want some medical themed puns, this list is for you!

7. Why did the dalmatian go to the doctors? Because every time she looked in the mirror she saw spots.

8. Why did the doctors appointment with  the centipede take so long? Because he sprained his ankles.

9. How do you give medical treatment to a sick pig? With oinkment.

10. Why did the bee keeper go to the doctor? Because they had hives.

11. A boy asked a doctor why he felt like a pony, the doctor said it's because you're a little hoarse.

12. How do you cure a sick bird? With tweetment.

13. What did the frog say when it found out it had a broken leg? "I'm unhoppy!"

14. What is the medical name for owning too many dogs? A roverdose.

15. What do you call a fish with a medical degree? A sturgeon.

16. Where does an owl get medical treatment from? Dr Who.

Why Did They Go To The Doctor Puns

If you need some funny doctor jokes, puns are a great option.  These doctor puns are all about different objects, people and animals going to the doctors. There are a couple of classics in there; see if you can spot the dad jokes!

17. Why did the mattress go to the doctors? It had a spring fever.

18. Why did the rope go to the doctors? Because it had a knot in its stomach.

19. Why do shoes go to the doctors? To be heeled.

20. Why did the bucket go the doctor? He was looking a bit pail.

21. Why did the snowman go to the doctors? He felt a bit chilly.

22. Why did the pillow go to the doctors? They felt a bit stuffy.

23. Why did the window go to the doctor? It had a lot of pane.

24. Why did the book go to the doctor? Someone broke its spine.

25. Why did the clown go to the doctors? Because he was feeling funny.

One Line Doctor Puns

One line doctor jokes are great to surprise kids with at the right moment. Alternatively, they are good for a "get well soon" card to brighten someone's day. These doctor one liners are witty, word-play puns are guaranteed to make someone chuckle.

26. Someone once told me a pun about amnesia, but I've forgotten how it goes.

27. I told the doctor I didn't want brain surgery, but she changed my mind.

28. I played hide and seek in the hospital, but they kept finding me in the ICU.

29. A guy made so many rash decisions he decided to become a dermatologist.

30. The doctor knew she was destined to be an osteopath, she could feel it in her bones.

31. At night, you have to wait ages for an X-ray because there's only skeleton staff working.

32. The infectious diseases ward of the hospital has the best wifi because of all of the hotspots.

33. The best dermatologists start their careers from scratch.

34. I went to the library to get a medical book on abdominal conditions but someone had taken the appendix out.

35. I'm looking for a good medical programme to watch, but I don't want no Scrubs.

36. The medical examiners were told to reduce their spending, so they had to cut coroners.

37. A patient's medical record said they had blood type B, but it was a type O.

38. Medical students hate the test on kidney stones, it's the hardest test to pass.

Puns About The Hospital

Doctor jokes about the hospital can be relatable to doctors and aspiring doctors alike. These puns are some gems about hospitals, illnesses and procedures to make anyone giggle.

39. Who is the coolest person in the hospital? The Ultra Sound guy.

40. Who stands in for doctors when they need to go on leave? The hip replacement guy.

41. Why did the doctor laugh at the X-ray of an arm? Because he found the X -ray humerus.

42. Where is the best place in the hospital to read 'Auld Lang Syne' and other old poems? The Serious Burns Unit.

43. What do you call a medical operation to see inside an ocean? A biop-sea.

Doctor Name Puns

These puns about doctor names are great to make anyone giggle. A doctor joke about funny names can be hilarious for kids. These light-hearted doctor jokes have a sprinkle of realism that make the puns even more hilarious.

44. Have you met the new midwives, Doctor Ova Ree and Doctor D. Livery?

45. Have you met the new chiropractor, Doctor L. Bow?

46. The new doctor is a real people person, have you met the Dr Hugh Manatee?

47. The new doctor is very sweet, have you met Doctor Pepper?

48. The new doctor is such a happy person, have you met Doctor Phil Goode?

Eye Doctor Puns

Doctor jokes about eyes offer a wealth of material for hilarious one liners and question-and-answer puns. Here is a selection of our favorite puns about the optometrist, hopefully you'll see some puns you like.

49. A patient said to the doctor, "I keep dreaming my eyes change colour". The doctor says "It's just a pigment of your imagination".

50. Conjunctivitis.com, that's a site for sore eyes.

51. Why did the cell phone go see an eye doctor? Because it needed some new contacts.

52. Why do eye doctors live so long? They dilate.

More Doctor Puns

Some of these puns are real classics, jokes for doctors, jokes about doctors and jokes children will love, this are a fantastic list of puns to look through. These puns are a great choice for all occasions.

54. Why was the doctor angry? They lost all of their patients.

55. Where did the boat go to sleep? The doc.

56. What did one tonsil say to the other tonsil? Try to make yourself look nice, the doctor is taking us out!

57. What did the doctor say to the boy who ate a roll of camera film? Let's see if anything develops.

58. What did the doctor say to the pack of cards? I'll deal with you later.

59. Did you hear about the girl who lost her left side? She's all right now.

60. How do doctors help rockets? They give the rockets their booster shots.

61. Why do doctors walk past the pill cupboard quietly? So they don't wake the sleeping pills.

62. The doctor told a patient "you have acute appendicitis" the patient replied "is that better than an ugly one?"

63. What kind of medical condition causes wrinkled clothes? An iron deficiency.

64. Where do medical students go to study? The hippocampus.

65. What did the doctor say when a patient refused medical treatment? Suture self.

66. What is it called when you can't sleep but eat all night instead? Insomnomnomnia

67. A patient parked in a hospital car park. Someone came over and said "this is for badge holder's only". The patient said "but I have got a bad shoulder".

68. I've got a disease where I can't stop telling airport jokes. The doctor says its terminal.

69. What did one leg say to the other leg on valentines day? I kneed you.

70. What did the bladders say to each other on valentines day? Urine my thoughts.

71. What did one shin say to another on valentines day? I want tibia with you.

Here at Kidadl, we have carefully created many great family-friendly puns for everyone to enjoy! If you enjoyed the puns in this blog about doctors, the good news is we have many more blogs about puns.

Why not take a look at these 41 Geology Jokes That Will Rock Your World? For aspiring cyclists, perhaps 52 Car Puns That Are Wheely Great would be a great fit.

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Written by Katie Unnithan

Bachelor of Arts specializing in Philosophy, Religion, and Ethics

Katie Unnithan picture

Katie UnnithanBachelor of Arts specializing in Philosophy, Religion, and Ethics

Having been born in San Francisco and raised in Cheshire, Katie has a Bachelor's degree in Philosophy, Religion and Ethics from the University of Birmingham. She has a passion for exploring new places in the UK, training with her university athletics club, and spending quality time with her 10-year-old sister. She is dedicated to promoting social justice and environmental issues and strives to eliminate inequalities that restrict young people from achieving their goals and aspirations.

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Fact-checked by Isobel Murphy

Bachelor of Arts specializing in History

Isobel Murphy picture

Isobel MurphyBachelor of Arts specializing in History

With a love for exploring cities and finding outdoor spaces to enjoy, Isobel has spent her life exploring various cities in the UK, from her hometown of Surrey to Birmingham where she studied history for three years. She is passionate about sports and enjoys watching and playing, as well as baking and spending quality time with her loved ones.

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