74 Great Dairy Puns That Aren't Too Cheesy

Emily Munden
Dec 12, 2023 By Emily Munden
Originally Published on Oct 28, 2020
Fact-checked by Isobel Murphy
Gouda cheese in dark background.
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Age: 0-99
Read time: 7.1 Min

In a lifetime, a dairy cow will produce over 350,000 glasses of the creamy white stuff, which is pretty impressive business.

Even though lots of us are looking at dairy alternatives these days, more than a thousand new dairy products are still created each year, meaning that cows and their wares are still extremely popular in the USA and beyond.

No matter how you feel about the dairy industry, you've got to admit that cows are delightful creatures - did you know that most cows have best friends?

Just in queso you're a dairy lover, we've found some pretty gouda dairy puns. We hope you'll agree that these are pretty grate.

If you're looking for cow puns for Instagram, dairy food puns or milk puns to help make your milk and cookies go down with a laugh, here at Kidadl we've chosen the most udderly brilliant dairy puns that are as funny as can brie.

No matter how you slice it, these funny dairy related puns and jokes are going to make you lose your rind.

So read on and you'll definitely be a-moo-sed. If you really can't get enough of funny dairy products, you may want to check out our funny cow related puns and funny milk puns, you'll be gruyere-enteed to laugh.

Puns That Go Moo

Bottles of drinks on wooden table.

These cow related puns are going to moo-ve you to tears they're so funny.

1. I used to have a pet cow, but I had to give it away because it was so expensive, it was milking me dry.

2. I'm sure I've seen this cow before, I'm having a serious case of de ja moo.

3. I met a very feminine cow. Turned out she was the dairy queen.

4. The first person to ever drink cow's milk got into loads of trouble. The people were appalled, they said, "how dairy!"

5. Dairy air smells of cows derrieres.

6. A cow found out an embarrassing secret about me and just wouldn't let it go. She milked it for all it was worth.

7. The cow was getting bored of making milk. She curd do it in her sleep.

8. Lots of cows struggle to put on weight. The problem is, they don't eat full meals - they are usually grazers.

9. You are legend-dairy.

10. A dairy farm in my town had mad cow disease. It was udder chaos.

11. If you ever want to read a book to some cows, the one I'd go for is Ha-ricotta and the Sorcerer's Stone. They love that book.

12. Something in the way she moos attracts me like no udder lover.

13. I don't mind the first of the two cows, but I prefer the udder one.

14. You look udderly gorgeous.

Milk Puns

We're milking these dairy puns for all they are worth!

15. I don't drink skimmed milk any more. I hate the idea of a cow being thrown across a lake.

16. I love almond milk, it's unlike any udder milk I've tasted.

17. I used to have an epic company for milk from dairy cows. It was called Legend-dairy.

18. I was attacked the other day by the milk man. He thought it was funny, how dairy!

19. I do love dairy milk, but I prefer it when it's churned. It's butter that way.

20. Milk and orange juice mixed makes my blood curdle.

21. I'd love to tell you some dairy puns, but I'm afraid you won't find them funny, you'll find them too cheesy.

22. I forgot the milk when I was doing my shopping. I must have skimmed past it.

23. A man threw a milk carton at me. How dairy!

24. The doctor told me I needed to take a milk bath. I asked if it needed to be pasteurized. No, she said, just above the knees.

25. I squeezed a lemon into my mom's milk carton. She was really sour about it.

26. Milk is the speediest dairy product. It's pasteurized before you ever get to see it.

27. Did you know a carton of milk went to the moon? Of course you did, it was legend-dairy.

28. You always end up with milk on your lip after a glass of milk. Nice moostache.

Cheesy Puns

You aren't going to find gouda puns than these; these are just brie-lliant.

29. The best thing you can say to a cheese when it's down on its luck is "ricotta pull yourself through this".

30. The cheddar completely flunked its violin classes. It was always too sharp.

31. Dairy products love music. Their favorite is R&Brie, cheese always loves Brie-once.

32. I always leave one cheese until last on the cheese board. It's forever provolone.

33. I love you, in queso didn't know.

34. I may pick up that piece of cheese I left on the floor, if I ever get a-rind to it.

35. I'm glad I've recovered from my traumatic cheese accident. Right now, I've never felt cheddar.

36. The cheese didn't want to go to college. She felt as if she had grater plans for herself.

37. The cheese was really excited about her hot date. He made her melt.

38. Unfortunately, the brie lost at the track and field event. He fell at the final curdle.

39. In Germany they only eat cheese and sausage as a wurst kase scenario.

40. Comte as you are.

41. When you make non-dairy butter, there's little margarine for error.

42. A cow that's unable to produce milk - would you call it a milk dud? Or perhaps you may call it an udder failure.

43. Pilots aren't very adventurous when they choose their yogurt. They only like plane.

44. The day to day costs of owning a dairy business are surprisingly high. Lots of expenses are in curd.

45. I don't like films about dairy farmers. They're way too cheesy.

46. Cheesy come, cheesy go.

47. The ball of mozzarella couldn't cope as it was getting shredded. It screamed "I'm falling to pizzas!"

48. Life is gouda.

49. Don't touch these cheesy nachos, This is nacho snack!

50. Absence makes the heart grow fondue.

51. Cheese puns? I camembert them.

52. I know it's pretty cheesy, but I really think you're grate.

53. Only the best hotel for my cheese. He stays at the Stilton.

54. There was an explosion at the cheese factory. De brie everywhere.

55. I set out a trap to catch the mouse in my house, but it keeps stealing the cheese without getting caught. Once I even heard him squeak "cheddar luck next time!"

56. Call me cheesy, but your warm embrace makes me melt.

57. I needed some cheese to cure my throat - it's a little hoarse, so my doctor recommended mascarpone.

58. I cut my hand on a piece of cheese. It was a sharp cheddar.

59. Dogs don't really like dairy products, with the exception of mutts-arella.

60. If you eat too much cheese dip, you could end up with a bad queso diarrhea.

61. Be careful when a cheese lover looks through your fridge. They're always up to no gouda.

62. Swiss cheese just doesn't get on with the other cheeses. Their attitude is too holier-than-thou.

And Let's Not Forget...

There's a lot more dairy puns out there in the world, and we pay them the respect they deserve with these puns - yoghurt to believe me!

63. I saw the biggest ice cream cone in the world. It was beyond my wildest creams.

64. Yogurt took over my town, I'm happy, it's the cream of the crop.

65. I threw a big slab of dairy fat across the room, and found out butter flies.

66. I got my family some new fancy European yogurt, in the hope that it'll make us more cultured.

67. I've got so much yogurt, some people think I'm hoarding it. I'm not worried, it's cultured behaviour.

68. My little brother just threw a yogurt at me. How dairy!

69. I had the last scoop of ice cream at the shop. All good things must cone to an end.

70. We drove to an abandoned Dairy Queen the other day. It was completely dessert-ed.

71. I got rid of all the liquid from my yogurt. It wheys a lot less now.

72. A man microwaved a spoonful of yogurt. It was a total culture shock.

73. I bought a tin of evaporated milk. When I opened it, I realised it was completely empty.

74. Dairy milk was always in trouble at school. He was always turning up choco-late.

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Written by Emily Munden

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Emily Munden

An experienced Londoner, Emily loves to discover new and exciting places in the city, especially with her two younger brothers. She has a passion for fashion and design and is also involved in art charities that facilitate workshops for children with special needs and difficult home lives. Emily is a trained life coach and enjoys writing about general wellness, mindfulness, and healthy relationships.

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Fact-checked by Isobel Murphy

Bachelor of Arts specializing in History

Isobel Murphy picture

Isobel MurphyBachelor of Arts specializing in History

With a love for exploring cities and finding outdoor spaces to enjoy, Isobel has spent her life exploring various cities in the UK, from her hometown of Surrey to Birmingham where she studied history for three years. She is passionate about sports and enjoys watching and playing, as well as baking and spending quality time with her loved ones.

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