45+ Long Jokes With Endless Twists And Turns

Lydia Samson
Dec 12, 2023 By Lydia Samson
Originally Published on Dec 14, 2020
Edited by Monisha Kochhar
Women laughing together over yellow wall
Age: 0-99
Read time: 19.1 Min

Get ready for a trip to hilarity with funny long jokes that promise not just a chuckle but an entire journey of jest! It's like that winding road trip where you're not quite sure where the next turn will take you, but you're loving every twisty moment of it.

These long jokes offer the perfect blend of humor and narrative that will leave you on the edge of your seat (or falling off your chair with laughter).

And trust us, while the route might be longer than your usual one-liners, the destination is worth it. Perfect for sharing during family dinners or long drives, these jokes have a little something for everyone.

Get set to giggle, chortle, and howl with laughter as these long jokes take you on a humor-filled rollercoaster ride! Remember, in this world of quick laughs and one-liners, sometimes the longest journeys hold the best treasures.

So, get cozy, maybe grab a snack, and let the tales of endless twists and delightful turns regale you. After all, laughter is the one journey where the ride is just as fun as the destination!

Clean And Funny Long Jokes‍

Women laughing together and eating watermelon

Check out these fun-filled long jokes that promise hearty chuckles without any of the blushes. Whether you're sharing a laugh at a family gathering or just brightening your day, these tales won't disappoint. So, buckle up for some wholesome humor and get ready to laugh out loud!

1. My friend called a few house painters for some work. He wanted them to paint his porch. After a few hours, the house painters came back for the payment as their work was complete. Before leaving, they told my friend that they had enjoyed painting his car, but it was not a Porsche.

2. There is a skeleton in our neighborhood that always knows when something bad might happen way before it happens. It became quite famous and when a TV crew interviewed it about the reason behind this ability, the skeleton finally disclosed its secret: it could feel the bad vibes in the bones.

3. I visited a café one day with my friends. The waiter recommended that we try their special coffee. We agreed and soon the coffee arrived.

As we drank the coffee, we realized that it tastes like dirt and mud. Disgusted by the fact, all of us complained immediately. The alarmed server rushed over and said, "Well sir, it was freshly ground coffee!"

4. A family was having dinner once when the youngest boy asked his father whether worms tasted nice when we eat them.

Both the parents reprimanded the little boy and told him that these things shouldn't be discussed over the dinner table. When the father asked the boy after dinner why he had asked such a question, he replied, "Dad, I think worms taste okay because there was one in your plate."

5. After Sunday church, the priest would hand us each an orange and a big cookie.

A little girl once lied and took two oranges, but the priest told her she mustn't lie because God is watching. Then, the girl took two cookies and lied about it. When asked why she had done that, she said that she thought that God was only watching oranges.

6. I went to this haunted house for exploration. It was near the forest, so the local guide warned me that I might find some wild animals there.

Sure enough, there was a panda. When I offered it some food, I was taken aback because it suddenly started talking. Turned out that it was a ghost panda, and it only ate bam-booooo!

7. As a group of robbers entered the bank, their leader went to the manager and asked him to open the vault.

He threatened the manager by saying, "If you try to do anything smart, you are fiction." The manager was confused and asked him, "Don't you mean 'You are history'?" The robber angrily replied, "Do not change the subject, okay?"

8. I was in the library once when a man walked in asking for some ham and cheese. The librarian politely told him that he was in a library. The man first apologized and then whispered to the librarian, "Can I please have some ham and cheese?"

9. I was in my garden when I got the news that my father had fallen from a ladder and was in the hospital.

I rushed to the hospital expecting that my father had some major fractures, but he was alright except for some minor cuts. When I told him that it was a miracle, he disagreed and told me, "Son, I had just fallen from the first step of the ladder."

10. After a prolonged drought when the rain came, all the animals in the forest were happy except the kangaroo. When the others asked it what the reason was for such sadness, the kangaroo replied that the rain meant that all its kids would now be playing inside.

11. My brother came back from school all motivated because he said he would be following a new diet from that day.

We didn't give it much thought until my brother started eating his homework for dinner. When we stopped him and asked why he was doing that, he replied, "I was just trying to see how it tasted because my teacher said that the homework would be a piece of cake for me."

12. A second guy walks into a barber shop, straight after the first guy, who is his identical twin.

The barber looks perplexed, rubs his eyes, and asks, "Did you forget something or did I just imagine cutting your hair?" The second guy grins and says, "Well, I did always want to be in two places at once. Today, I finally am!"

13. A boy was sitting in a hospital waiting room, looking rather bored. Suddenly, he noticed a rich man entering, looking flustered. "I can't keep up with all these conferences and check-ups!" the rich man exclaimed. The boy, without missing a beat, replied, "Maybe it's because you're rich in responsibilities!"

14. Once, a young boy decided to try out for the school band. He picked up the baton and directed it with such intensity that every instrument sounded out of tune. The music teacher, puzzled, asked another student to take the lead.

The result? Perfect harmony! The boy, looking dejected, approached the teacher, "Is it me? Am I doing something wrong?" The teacher smiled and said, "No, you're just a bad conductor."

15. A young girl named Lucy loved to play matchmaker. She had a box of matches, and for every match, she created a story of two people falling in love.

One day, she realized she had used all her matches, both literally and figuratively. Dejected, she asked her mom, "What do I do now?" Her mom, with a twinkle in her eyes, replied, "My dear, now you write their happily ever afters!"

16. An old man walks into a town square with a big sign around his neck that reads, "Old Man's Message: Wisdom for a nickel!"

A skeptical passerby tosses a nickel into the old man's hat and says, "Alright, wise guy, what's your message?" The old man looks up, grinning ear to ear, and says, "Never spend a nickel on something you can learn for free!"

Best Story Jokes That Are Hilarious

Prepare to journey through a world bursting with the best story jokes that are hilariously crafted to tickle your funny bone. Whether you need a knee-slapper to break the ice or looking for a giggle-worthy story to share at the next family dinner, these funny story jokes are just what the comedian ordered.

Fasten your laugh belts, it's going to be a giggly ride!

17. In my neighborhood, there was a couple who had given their twin sons very weird names. One was named Trouble, while the other boy's name was Mind Your Own Business.

So, one day they were playing hide and seek. Mind Your Business counted to a hundred and then started looking for his brother. But somehow he couldn't find him anywhere. He saw a police car passing the neighborhood, so he stopped it to ask for help.

When the police officer asked him for his name, he replied, "Mind Your Own Business!" Feeling insulted, the police officer still asked politely who he was looking for. Mind Your Own Business replied, "I am looking for Trouble!"

18. During his travels, a man stumbled upon a quiet town with a café that had a peculiar sign: "Home of the Talking Coffee Beans." Intrigued, he went in and met the barista.

He told him that there was this same guy who used to visit the café every day and claimed that his coffee talked with him. Curiosity piqued, he ordered a cup. After his first sip, he heard a voice say, "Is it hot enough for you?"

he almost spilled it in surprise! The barista laughed, "Told you so! But don’t worry; it only talks about brewing topics!"

19. A food critic visits a local restaurant to review its food for a magazine. The host welcomes him and shows him to the table. The food is presented to him and after a while, the critic calls the owner to say that something is missing from his bowl of soup.

The chef asks whether it is too spicy or salty. When the food critic says no, the host decides to taste the soup himself but he can't find the spoon. "Yeah," says the critic, "that's what is missing."

20. A man visited an amusement park and rode all the rides with reckless abandon. His friend asked, "Aren't you scared?" The man grinned and replied, "Scared? No way! Riding these gives me the ups and downs without having to deal with actual life!"

21. An American soldier called his family from overseas. "Hi Mom, I learned to speak three languages since I've been deployed." His mom responded, "Well, I hope one of them is better English so you can tell us all about it!"

22. Two mothers were chatting in a park. One said, "My kid tried to microwave a book to make its content hotter." The other replied, "That's nothing!

My kid thought the alphabet had 27 letters. He included the hashtag." A dad, overhearing them, added, "Well, my kid planted jellybeans hoping to grow a candy tree. I guess we all have the claim to the 'dumbest kid' title at some point!"

23. Two men were arguing about who was a bigger fan of baseball. One said, "I've been to every game this season!" The other retorted, "I named all my children after famous players!" A third man, overhearing, interjected, "That's nothing! I named my cat Umpire so every time he causes trouble, I can say, 'You’re out!'"

24. At a pet talent show, everyone expected dogs to do tricks and cats to play pianos. However, when a young boy entered with a tortoise, there was a collective gasp. The host asks, "What's the talent?"

The boy grins, "He's really good at... patience." The audience had a good laugh while the tortoise took its time crossing the stage.

25. In a village, rumors swirled about a boy who could understand animal languages. A curious farmer invited the boy over and pointed to his chickens. "What are they saying?" The boy listened intently and replied, "They're discussing the egg-conomy and who lays the best egg-ssets!"

26. A librarian in a quaint village once boasted of a book that discussed all the usual subjects in just a single volume. A scholar, upon hearing this, decided to check it out.

But when he opened it, all he found were drawings of cats, dogs, and some peculiar-looking animals. He inquired, "Why are these the usual subjects?" The librarian pointed at a young boy who entered, saying, "Because every time he comes in, those are all he ever wants to read about!"

29. At a magical academy, students are always curious about the mysterious door at the end of the hallway. Legends say that only the most extraordinary wizards could open it. One day, a young boy enters the academy, and without hesitation, walks straight to that door and opens it.

Everyone is stunned. They ask, "How did you do it? Are you a prodigy?" The boy chuckled, "No, it was just a pull instead of a push


Get Comfy: These Long Jokes Require Your Full Attention and Giggles

Grab your favorite snack, snuggle into your comfort zone, and get ready for a laughter-loaded experience because these long jokes are here to entertain you! These aren't just any jests - they're twisty tales that command your full attention and reward you with hearty giggles. Get ready to roar with laughter and let the good times roll!

30. I was in a barbershop when a man and his young son walked in to get a haircut. The man asked the barber to give his son a haircut while he shopped for groceries nearby.

The barber finished the haircut but there was no sign of the father. An hour passed, and two more but nobody came.

We finally asked the son where his father was. The boy shocked us by saying, "That man was not my father. He just told me that if I wanted to get a free haircut at the barbershop, I should come with him."

31. Once, a mosquito walked into a clinic. The doctor saw it and asked what the matter was. The mosquito said that it had a lot of problems.

It was not happy with its life, was not happy with the job it was doing. It was sad and had no motivation. The doctor listened to the problems and told the mosquito that it should visit a therapist instead of a doctor. The mosquito replied, "Yeah, I know. I just came in because of the blood."

32. A man walked by a food stand, only to spot his friend's grandmother deeply engrossed in a conversation with the tofu hot dog vendor.

Curious, he approached and asked what was happening. With a chuckle, the grandmother replied, "This young man just tried to sell me a hot dog, claiming it was the healthiest in town. But I reminded him, I'm not the customer he needs to convince, it's my treadmill!"

33. An old high school friend visited a small-town restaurant where he hadn't been for years. A young guy stands behind the counter, looking perplexed as the friend asks for the house special. Suddenly, the friend's grandmother walks in, deeply engrossed in a novel.

The young guy rushes to her, "Finally, someone who's not a customer! Can you help me out here, Grandma?" Turns out, she had been the cook all along, just taking a well-deserved reading break. And the house special? Grandma's freshly baked apple pie!

34. A town's notorious prankster was often seen attempting his latest practical joke.

No matter where you went, it seemed like the same young boy was always causing harmless chaos. One day, the town's baker asked him, "Why do you always stir up trouble?" The boy, with his mischievous grin, answered, "Because a little chaos adds the spice to life's recipe!"

35. Two friends were arguing about who'd make a better superhero. The first said, "I'd have super strength!" The second boasted, "Well, I'd fly!" Their third friend, munching on a sandwich, chimed in, "I'd have the power of perfect digestion. Imagine, being able to eat any cuisine without worrying!" The other two stared. "That... is surprisingly practical."

36. A doctor says to his patient, "I've got some good news and bad news. Which do you want first?" The patient nervously replies, "The good news." The doctor says, "Well, you've got 24 hours to live." The patient, horrified, exclaims, "What's the bad news?" The doctor sheepishly answers, "I meant to tell you yesterday."

37. At an art auction, a wealthy man remarked, "I'm thinking of buying that painting; it matches my living room drapes." A poor man nearby astutely responds after a long pause, "Art is the window to the soul, not to the curtains."

38. In a formal government meeting, an official government translator was assigned to translate a foreign diplomat's speech. Mid-speech, the translator started giggling uncontrollably.

Confused, the officials demanded an explanation. The translator, wiping away tears of laughter, said, "I'm sorry, but the diplomat just said that his cat can play the piano and is currently touring Europe!" The room erupted in laughter, and for a moment, global politics seemed a little less serious.

39. Two cacti were chatting in the desert. One says, "Whew, it's such a hot day!" The other, looking amused, replies, "Really? I hadn't noticed. Must be my prickly personality keeping me cool."

40. In a quaint village, a smoke-filled room was the talk of the town. Everyone speculated what was happening inside - a wizard's concoction, a scientist's experiment, or perhaps a dragon taking a nap.

One day, a brave soul finally peeked inside and laughed out loud. It was Mrs. Green's cat, Mr. Whiskers, trying to make toast for breakfast. The town never let Mrs. Green live it down!

41. In a smoke-filled café in Paris, a tourist tried to order a coffee but got a plate of snails instead. Puzzled, he looked at the waiter and said, "I think there's been a mistake." The waiter, with a smirk, replied, "No mistake, sir. We just thought you'd like to try the slow brew today!"

The Longer, The Funnier: Jokes That Keep You Laughing

Settle in and gear up for a chuckle-charged escapade because these jokes aren't just longer, they're funnier! These aren't your quick-hit giggles - they're marathon merriment makers that keep you laughing with every unfolding twist. These long jokes are your ticket to endless entertainment. So, prepare yourself for a laughter-packed journey that keeps on giving!

42. An American astronaut called his space crew for their final meal. "Neither the Americans nor the aliens will have anything on us once we have our pizza party!" he declared.

His space crew, surprised, responded, "Pizza party? In space?" The astronaut grinned, "Yeah, it's going to be out of this world!" The entire space crew roared with laughter, proving that humor can be found even light-years away from Earth.

43. On a hot summer day, a group of NASA folks found themselves in a heated debate about the capital of a specific country. Each person was confident in their knowledge but couldn't agree on a single answer. Finally, one person had an idea.

They said, "Let's at least settle on one capital we can all agree on." After a few moments of contemplation, someone chimed in, "How about capital letters?" Laughter erupted as they realized they were arguing about the same things in different contexts.

44. Two robots were discussing human emotions. One said, "I observed a human saying she was perfectly fine, but then she consumed an entire tub of ice cream." The other robot responded, "Ah, 'perfectly fine' must be human code for 'needs more ice cream'."

4. A renowned professor paused dramatically at an important science conference before delivering a groundbreaking discovery. The room fell silent, not a sound to be heard. Suddenly, the professor grinned mischievously and declared, "Ladies and gentlemen, after months of research, I can confidently say... cats have been secretly plotting against us!".

42. A flight attendant sees a man reading a book and asks, "Sir, are you enjoying your flight?" The man looks up from his book, chuckles, and replies, "I'm actually reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!"

43. An official government translator was hired to translate a crucial document. Halfway through, he called his supervisor, sounding distressed. "What's wrong?" the supervisor asked. The translator replied, "Well, this section is all about different kinds of pasta, but I'm gluten-intolerant. Can I skip it?" The supervisor chuckled, "Just translate, don't eat!"

44. A wealthy art collector called an artist and said, "I've just bought one of your paintings, but I have one question." The artist, eager to hear the question, asked, "What is it?" The wealthy collector inquired, "Why is the paint still wet?" The artist chuckled and said, "Well, you said you wanted one of my freshest works!"

45. During a family dinner, a little girl said, "Dad, I've noticed you've been eating a lot of beans these past few months." The dad looked at her and replied with a grin, "Well honey, I've been trying to toot my own horn without making any noise!"

46. A tourist in Bulgaria was learning about the country's laws. The tour guide explained an old Bulgarian law: "In Bulgaria, it's illegal to drive a car with a blindfold." The tourist chuckled and said, "You don't say! And here I was, planning to enjoy the scenery that way!"

47. A wealthy businessman sees a poor man fishing by the river every day. One day, he approaches him and says, "If you worked harder, you could afford a fishing boat!"

The poor man nods and asks, "And then what?" The businessman replies, "You could catch more fish, sell them, and buy a fleet of boats!" The poor man nods again, "And then what?" The businessman, getting excited, says, "You could have a fishing empire and be rich like me!"

The poor man smiles, "And then what?" The businessman says, "Then you could relax and fish all day!" The poor man chuckles, "Isn't that what I'm doing now?"

46. A mother was talking to her friend, "My son is such a very nice boy. Just yesterday, he helped an old lady bark at some pigeons!" The friend looked confused, "Bark?" The mother nodded, "Yes, he said it was more effective than shooing them away!"

47. Two dogs met at a park. One says to the other, "Do we go to the same church? You look familiar." The other dog tilts its head, "I think you're confusing church with the local butcher's shop. Their bones are divine!"

48. In a small-town ice cream parlor, a boy licked his cone and made a face. The shopkeeper asked, "What's wrong, son? Not sweet enough?"

The boy, looking thoughtful, replied, "No, it's not that. I was trying to figure out if this is chocolate or super dark vanilla!" The shopkeeper chuckled, "Well, that's a flavor mystery for the ages!" The boy nodded, "I'll be back tomorrow with my detective kit!"


There you have it, folks! We've shared a laughter-filled journey through the realm of our favorite funny long jokes, packed with endless twists and turns. The beauty of these elongated jests is that they're not just amusing—they're brimming with engaging stories and they're memory-makers.

The only downside? You might need a little more breath to get through them! So, why not incorporate a humor-filled tale and punch line into your next family game night or friends gathering?

These jokes have the power to bring people together, spark laughter, and create unforgettable moments. So, go on, spread the joy, and keep the laughter rolling. Remember, in the world of humor, the journey can be just as enjoyable as the destination!

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Written by Lydia Samson

Bachelor in Science specializing in Mass Communication

Lydia Samson picture

Lydia SamsonBachelor in Science specializing in Mass Communication

A diligent and driven mass communications graduate from Caleb University, Lydia has experience in media and a passion for digital marketing and communications. She is an effective communicator and team-builder with strong analytical, management, and organizational skills. She is a self-starter with a positive, can-do attitude.

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