40+ Pirate Jokes That Arrr Hilarious!

Joan Agie
Dec 12, 2023 By Joan Agie
Originally Published on Aug 19, 2020
Edited by Jacob Fitzbright
Fact-checked by Sarah Hallam
Funny pirate captain on a pirate ship

Ahoy there, adventurers! Ready to set sail on a sea of laughter?

Then hoist your jolly roger and grab your eyepatches, because this treasure chest full of pirate jokes arrr sure to make you giggle like a parrot on a pirate's shoulder!

These aren't just any old sea shanties; these are pirate jokes fit for Blackbeard himself! Whether you're a seasoned sailor, a devoted fan of International Talk Like A Pirate Day, or a landlubber just dipping your toes into the waters of wit, you'll find something here to make you smile.

Pirates, those swashbuckling legends of yore, have captured imaginations for generations. With their sword-clashing escapades, daring treasure hunts, and unforgettable pirate talk, they've become a beloved part of different storytelling traditions. And while not all pirate tales may be steeped in historical truth, there's one thing you can trust: pirate-themed jokes are as funny as a barrel of monkeys!

So grab your shipmates, gather 'round, and get ready to discover some of the most hilarious pirate puns and buccaneer banter you've ever heard. From clever quips that'll have you cackling like a cabin boy to wise-cracking one-liners that'll tickle your funny bone, this collection of jokes is a real treasure trove of fun.

Hilarious Pirate Puns

Ahoy, pun-lovers! Ever in search of that perfect pirate pun to tickle your funny bones? Well, look no further!

These witty wordplays are so good, that they'll have you rolling on the deck with laughter. It's a treasure trove of comedy gold, ready for you to dig in! Get set to embark on this pun-filled adventure – it's guaranteed to be arrr-mazing!

1. What did the sea say to the pirate? Nothing, it just waved!

2. What's a pirate's favorite letter? You'd think it would be arrr, but it's actually the C.

3. Why are pirates called pirates? Because they arrr.

4. How much did the pirate pay for his hook and his peg? An arm and a leg.

5. What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? "Aye, matey!"

6. Why couldn't the pirates play cards? Because they were standing on the deck.

7. What do you call a pirate that skips school? Captain Hooky.

8. Where do pirates buy their hooks? The second-hand store.

9. What's a pirate's favorite country? Arrr-gentina!

10. How do you make a pirate furious? Take away the 'p'.

11. What did the pirate say when he left his wooden leg in the freezer? "Shiver me timbers!"

12. Why was the pirate ship so cheap? It was on sail.

13. What's a pirate's favorite type of exercise? The plank.

14. Why couldn't the pirate stop binge-watching the TV series? Because he was hooked.

15. What's the difference between a pirate and a raspberry farmer? The pirate buries his treasures, but the farmer treasures his berries.

16. If Apple had a pirate ship, what would their crew wear? An iPatch.

17. Why does it take forever for a pirate crew to learn the alphabet? Because they spend years at C.

18. What did the pirate wear on Halloween? A pumpkin patch.

Funniest Pirate Jokes

Scene of Jolly Roger Pirate boat.

Set sail for a sea of smiles with this treasure trove of pirate jokes! These fun-filled jests arrr the perfect way to add a splash of merriment to any day.

Whether you're a pirate at heart or just love a good giggle, these jokes are sure to delight adventurers of all ages. So grab your compass and navigate your way through these hilarious pirate-themed zingers – laughter awaits!

19. What’s a pirate’s worst enemy? Termites.

20. What's a pirate's favorite instrument? The guitarrr.

21. How are math teachers secretly like pirates? They're always trying to find X.

22. What does pirate Santa say? "Row row row!"

23. What do you call a pirate who steals from the rich and gives to the poor? Robin Hook.

24. How much did the pirate pay to get his ears pierced? A buck an ear.

25. What's a pirate's favorite school subject? Arrrt.

26. What type of fish does a hungry pirate prefer? A swordfish.

27. What happened to the crews when the red pirate ship fought with the blue pirate ship? Tpiratehey got marooned.

28. What do you call the hairstyle that pirates wear? A crew cut.

29. Why are pirates so good at singing? Because they can hit the high C's.

30. Where are American pirates from? Arrrkansas.

31. What was the pirate boxer's biggest strength? His left hook.

32. What's a pirate's favorite element? Arrrgon... or maybe just gold.

33. How do pirates prefer to communicate? Aye to aye.

34. How do you save a dying pirate? With C P ARRRRRR.

Knock Knock Pirate Jokes

Knock, knock! Who's there?

Why, it's a barrel full of knock-knock pirate jokes, just waiting to shiver your timbers with laughter! These playful jests are the perfect mix of clever and silly, guaranteed to charm sea dogs and landlubbers alike.

So pull up your anchor and get ready to dive into this ocean of hilarity – it's time to unlock a treasure chest of fun with these pirate-themed knock-knock jokes!

35. Knock! Knock!

Who's there?


Garden who?

Garden the treasure! Who's hoisting the sails?

36. Knock! Knock!

Who's there?


Turner who?

Turner round there's a pirate behind you!

37. Knock! Knock!

Who's there?

Interrupting pirate.



Funny One-Liner Pirate Jokes

It's time to weigh anchor and set sail on a voyage of laughter with these one-liner-themed funny pirate jokes. As sharp and quick as a cutlass, these short but sweet jests are perfect for injecting a burst of fun into your day.

Whether you're a pirate aficionado or just appreciate a clever quip, these one-liners arrr certain to tickle your funny bone.

38. I remember when Bluebeard fell overboard in the Red Sea. Sadly, he got marooned.

39. A pirate walks up to a doctor at the clinic to have the spots on his arm examined. The doctor says, "They’re benign." The pirate replies, "No, no doc, there be 11. I counted them before I came here."

40. My friends say they don't know any good pirate jokes. Well, neither do aye.

41. There are only ten letters in pirates' alphabets. I, I, R, and the seven C's

42. I've never seen a pirate cry in public. I guess they prefer privateers.

43. A slice of pie costs $3 in Puerto Rico, $4 in the Dominican Republic, and $5 in Cuba. Those are the pie rates of the Caribbean.

Well, shipmates, you've navigated through a treasure map filled with chuckles and guffaws, and enjoyed hilarious pirate jokes that were a real treasure trove of fun! The only con here might be that you'll have too many favorite jokes to choose from!

And the gales of hearty laughter? Well, they won't be stopping anytime soon.

But remember, laughter is a golden treasure everyone can share, so don't be shy about trying these jokes out with family and friends. After all, every day can be Talk Like A Pirate Day if you let it!

Article image credit: Blue Sky imagery / Shutterstock.com

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Written by Joan Agie

Bachelor of Science specializing in Human Anatomy

Joan Agie picture

Joan AgieBachelor of Science specializing in Human Anatomy

With 3+ years of research and content writing experience across several niches, especially on education, technology, and business topics. Joan holds a Bachelor’s degree in Human Anatomy from the Federal University of Technology, Akure, Nigeria, and has worked as a researcher and writer for organizations across Nigeria, the US, the UK, and Germany. Joan enjoys meditation, watching movies, and learning new languages in her free time.

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Fact-checked by Sarah Hallam

Diploma of Education, Fine Arts, Bachelor of Arts specializing in Illustration and Visual media

Sarah Hallam picture

Sarah HallamDiploma of Education, Fine Arts, Bachelor of Arts specializing in Illustration and Visual media

With a Diploma in Education specializing in Fine Arts (Painting) and a Bachelor of Arts specializing in Illustration and Visual media from the University of Arts London, Sarah previously was a London-based teacher who brought her passion for art and culture to the classroom. Her creative endeavors include painting classes and experimenting with new recipes. She draws inspiration from the world around her and enjoys sharing her knowledge with others while sipping a cup of tea.

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