41 Cooking Jokes Your Kids Will Have Thyme For

Jo Kingsley
Dec 12, 2023 By Jo Kingsley
Originally Published on Aug 17, 2020
Girl reading cookbook near mother holding glass bowl with whisk.

With the summer holidays in full swing, you're sure to be on the search for different ways to entertain the kids and you've probably already thought of doing some cooking.

There are some great online cooking classes you can do with the kids, and we have some really easy beginners recipes too, if you're need of a bit of inspiration.

And to keep spirits high whilst the flour is flying, why not crack out these brilliantly funny food jokes. Even if your cake doesn't rise or you burn the biscuits, the whole family will still be laughing.  


Person using mixer machine making cookie icing for decoration.

Image © Only Fabrizio under a creative commons licence.

Your little monkeys will love these animal-themed jokes about food.

What do cats call mice riding skateboards? Meals on Wheels!

What snack do you get when you put ducks in a box? A box of quackers!

How do you know if an elephant has been in your fridge? You'll find footprints in the butter!

What do you make when you cook a snake and a pie? A pie-thon!

What is an elephant's favourite type of vegetable? Squash!

Which bird joins you every day at meal time? A swallow!

What does a really confused hen lay? Scrambled eggs!

What's a frog's favourite drink? Croak-a-cola!

What do dogs eat when they're at the cinema? Pup-corn!

Fruit and Vegetables

Image © Diane Alkier via Unsplash.

These cooking gags might also help the kids to eat their five a day.

What did the cucumber say to the celery? Stop stalking me!

How do you make an artichoke? Strangle it!

Which subject at school is the fruitiest? History - because it's full of dates!

What made the tomato blush? It saw the salad dressing!

What vegetables are a sailor's worst nightmare? Leeks!

What’s small and red and has a sore throat? A hoarse radish!

What is a vampires favourite type of fruit? A neck-tarine!

What’s brown, hairy and wears shades? A coconut on holiday!

Why did the banana have to go to the hospital? Because it wasn’t peeling very well!

Why are mushrooms invited to so many parties? Because they're such fungis!

What did the Daddy tomato say to the baby tomato while they were out on a walk? Ketchup!

Why was the strawberry so sad? Because she was in a jam!

Why was the cucumber so cross? Because he was in a pickle!


These jokes about lunch will brighten up any meal time.

"This dinner tastes funny." "Then why aren't you laughing?"

"Excuse me, chef," the customer said, "will my pizza be long?" "Don't be silly sir, it'll be round!" replied the chef!

Peter: "I'm cooking Egyptian pie for lunch." Simon: "What’s Egyptian pie?" Peter: "Pie, just like Mummy used to make!"

Did you hear about the schoolboy who ate his homework for lunch? Histeacher told him it was a piece of cake!

Why couldn't the teddy finish her lunch? Because she was stuffed!

What do polar bears eat for their dinner? Ice berg-ers!

What did the angry customer give the chef at his Italian restaurant? A pizza his mind!

"Do you have any spaghetti on the menu today?" the customer said. "Not any more, I cleaned it off" replied the chef!

Why was the café clock always running slow? Because it always went back four seconds!

Out Of This World

From lunar laughs to ghoulish gags, these cooking funnies will have everyone laughing.

How do they serve food in space? On flying saucers!

How does the Man In The Moon serve his food? In satellite dishes!

Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Nobody goes because it has no atmosphere!

What’s an astronaut’s favourite sandwich filling? Launch meat!

Why did Super Man cross the road? To get to the Super Market!

What do skeletons eat for their lunch? Spare ribs!

What do ghosts eat for their lunch? Ghoulash!

What do giant sea monsters eat for their lunch? Fish and ships!

What do witches put in their sandwiches? Scream cheese!

What do ghosts eat for pudding? I-scream!

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Written by Jo Kingsley

Bachelor of Arts specializing in Film and English

Jo Kingsley picture

Jo KingsleyBachelor of Arts specializing in Film and English

Jo is a versatile writer with a Bachelor's degree in Film and English from the University of Southhampton who is passionate about mental health and well-being, history, art, food and drink, and photography. As a work-from-home mom to two adventurous boys, she loves exploring local castles, museums, and galleries with them, and sharing her knowledge and interests through her blog.

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