Best 90+ Cow Jokes That Will Have You Mooing With Laughter

Rajnandini Roychoudhury
Dec 12, 2023 By Rajnandini Roychoudhury
Originally Published on Dec 14, 2020
Edited by Isobel Murphy
Cow mooing with her head lifted in a pasture
Age: 0-99
Read time: 9.4 Min

Cows are indeed an a-moo-sing part of the animal kingdom, and so are these cow jokes.

Cows play a vital role as one of the primary sources of dairy products. They provide a variety of raw produce that directly or indirectly impact most people's palates, but most importantly, they are super funny!

We've curated a list that includes various funny jokes about cows and some not-that-bad cow jokes that might make you cringe a little. By the end of this list, you will definitely be giggling or laughing out loud, which is why the existence of corny cow jokes is such a great thing.

There are some thrilling kids' jokes about cows, including some good cow jokes for the whole family.

We love these moo jokes and cow one-liners, which are worth cracking at a family dinner or when hanging out with your friends. If you want to make everyone laugh then you have certainly come to the right place!

Here we present to you some udderly hilarious jokes about cows which will leave you cheeees-ing. After all, we know where milk comes from, but here is where humor can come forth!

If you would like to read more articles about puns and jokes, check out these pig jokes and these goat puns.

Cow Jokes for Kids

Cow eating grass.

If cow moo jokes are your forte, then you can pull these off in any situation. You just need a tiny bit of cow-based humor and an a-moo-sing partner to share your laughter with.

So let's just stop crying over spilt milk and groove over these funny cow jokes for kids instead! You'll be laughing out loud in no time.

1. How would you address a scared cow? Cow-herd.

2. What would a cow give if she was a pampered brat? Spoiled milk.

3. What would happen if a cow was milked during an earthquake? It would turn into a smoothie.

4. What would a cow's favorite magazine be? Moogue.

5. What would cows be called if they were sleeping? Bull-dozers.

6. Why do cows have bells tied round their necks? Because their horns don't work.

7. What did the skimmed milk say to the cowboy in the romcom? I will never be whole milk again without you!

8. Which sci-fi movie does a cow love? Dr. Moo.

9. What would a cow say to its favorite dancer? You have got moo-ves.

10. What would you get if a cow jumped on a trampoline? Milkshake.

11. What is a cow's favorite thing to do at the weekend? They go to the cinema and watch a moo-vie.

12. Where do the cows go on a day out? A moo-seum.

13. What would cows use while texting? E-moo-jis.

14. What would a hidden cow be called? Ca-moo-flage.

15. How did the milkman find his cows? He track-tors them down.

16. What happens if you combine a dog and a cat? Hound Beef!

17. Why did the cow get impatient waiting in front of the restaurant? She didn't want to wait while her friend was uddering her meal.

18. How did the cow baseball team win the game? They were continuously milking the opponent's strength.

19. Where does a cow go with its fiancee? On a moo-vie date.

20. What would cows living in igloos produce instead of milk? Ice cream.

21. Where did the cow go bankrupt? At the cow-sino.

22. What is a cow's favorite subject? Cowculus.

23. What form of milk would you find in the desert? Powdered milk.

24. How are cows counted? By a cowculator.

25. What is a cow on the market called? Stake.

26. What vegetables are cows fond of eating? Cow-liflower.

27. Which brand of cameras do cows use? Cow'non.

28. What do you call a baby cow that like drinking coffee? Calf-inated.

29. Where do cows go to buy their medicines from? From the farm-acy.

30. What happened to the cow who got hit by lightning? She was udderly shocked.

31. What do you get when you cross a cow and a Smurf? Blue cheese.

32. What did the cowboy say to the baby cow? It's past-ure bedtime.

33. What did the cow say when he had a flashback of events? I have deja-moo!

34. What would a doctor call a cow's illness? Hay-fever.

35. What would cows like to play at their birthday parties? Moo-sical chairs.

36. What would a spy cow ask his fellow cow? "Are you udder cover?"

37. Where do groups of cows go for lunch? The calf-eteria.

38. What do cows watch on the internet? Moo-tube.

39. What would a cow who is a member of a rock band be called? A moo-sician.

40. What would you call a cow clown? A cow-median.

41. What would you call a dumb cow? A mis-steak.

42. What would you call a dwarf cow in tall grasses? Udder-ly tickled.

43. Where do cows go for a vacation? Cow-lifornia.

44. What do cows prefer to have at breakfast? Moo-sli.

45. What did the cow say when he felt ignored by his friends? "I seem to be seen but not herd."

46. Why couldn't the cow go on vacation? Because he didn't have a wee-calf.

47. What would you call a short-tempered cow? Moo-dy.

48. What did the mother cow say to her daughter on her birthday? You look so a-moo-sing.

49. What happened when a cow broke up with her boyfriend? She moo-ved on.

50. Where do cows go dancing? To the meat ball.

51. Do you know about the cow that drowned in the cyclone? It was a complete and udder accident.

52. What would you call a cliff with lots of cows on it? A moo-ntain.

53. What do cows love to read in the morning? The moos-paper.

54. Where do calves get scared to stay? In a cow-ward's cabin.

55. What would you name a grass-eating cow? A moo-wer .

56. What is a cow's favorite place to go on vacation? Moo-ritius.

Milk Jokes

Whether it is just simple milk or its by-products, milk plays a massive role in our lives. So here are some jokes about one of our favorite dairy products.

Some of these cows udder jokes and dairy cow jokes, which aren't all cliche, are pretty a-moo-sing. Pick your favorite and share it with your friends next time you are enjoying a glass of cold milk, it is bound to make everybody laugh!

57. What would you call an Arabian sitting next to a cow? Milk-sheikh.

58. Where do Russian folks get their milk supply from? Mos-cow.

59. Why did the kid want to buy a brown cow? To get chocolate milk.

60. Why did Cleopatra choose to bathe in milk instead of taking a shower? Because no cow is tall enough to give a shower.

61. What did the Invisible Man like to drink? Evaporated milk.

62. Why did the cow jump over the moon? To find the Milky Way.

63. What is as big as a gallon of milk but weighs nothing? Its shadow.

64. How would you term a cow which never gives milk? A milk-dud.

65. What did the child reply to his mate who told him some milk jokes? "Nope! It's way too cheesy."

66. Why did the astronauts carry a box of Captain Crunch with them? Incase they came across The Milky Way.

67. How can a cow make a mouse smile? By saying cheese.

68. What is the name of the country that is made entirely of yogurt? Curdistan.

69. Where do cow astronauts deliver their milk? The Milky Way.

70. Why does a milking stand only have three legs? Because the cow has the udder one.

71. What would a cow journalist say to its audience? "Here is the beef of the week."

72. What would a cow say to someone who she doesn't like? Moo-ve away.

73. What is a cow called if no one likes her? A moo-ser.

74. Why don't cows eat lemongrass? Because it would make their milk sour.

75. Which was the first animal to reach space? A cow, when she made it there she was over the moon!

76. How did the milkman react when he split all of the cow's milk? He s-cow-led.

Cattle Jokes

Have you had your fill of cow jokes yet? We hope not, because there are plenty more to come!

These grass-eating beasts can be very funny animals! Here we have a list of some beef jokes and some funny cow jokes for kids, which are pretty amoosing. So just grab your comfy cow-ch and moo-ve over to this hilarious bunch of jokes.

77. What would a cow be called if she only has one leg? Lean Beef.

78. What would you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

79. Why did the cowboy go bankrupt? Because he had no beef.

80. What did the salesman asked the cowboy at the clothing store? "Sir, would you like to see some bandanas and s-calves?"

81. What do you call cows that have a hilarious sense of humor? Giggling stock.

82. Where do cattle carry their important documents? In their Beef-case.

83. Where would a cow sleep at a cattle sleepover? Cow-ch.

84. What do cows love to read? A cattle-ogue.

Dairy Jokes

Many of us are dairy lovers, but you won't regret reading these funny, cheesy cheese jokes with some funny cow humor even if you are not a big dairy fan. Once you have read and laughed out loud at these funny dairy jokes you will love sharing these a-moo-sing funny cow jokes with all of your friends and family!

Find out even more funny jokes about cows in this little list.

86. What would we call a cow who won the beauty pageant? A dairy Queen.

87. How did a cow describe himself in front of his friends? He said that he was legen-dairy.

88. Why are the dairy business' production costs so high? Because a lot of money gets in-curd.

89. How did the customers respond to the dairy scam that happened recently? They said "How dairy you?"

90. Why couldn't the cowboy couldn't deliver milk to the dairy farm? Because he lost his whey.

91. What is the most hard-working dairy product? Geek Yogurt.

Knock Knock Jokes

Here are a few cow knock-knock jokes which are make for an intriguing conversation starter. If you want to make all of your friends and family laugh then these funny knock-knock jokes about cows are the ones to go for.

We have also included a few farmyard and dairy themed knock know jokes to keep everybody laughing, which is your favorite?

92. Knock Knock

Who's There?

A cow says

A cow says who?

Nope dummy, a cow says moo!

93. Knock Knock

Who's There?


Fever who?

Hay Fever.

94. Knock Knock

Who's There?

Ice cream

Ice cream who?

Ice cream, you scream, everyone screams for ice cream.

Here at Kidadl, we have carefully created lots of great family-friendly jokes for everyone to enjoy!

If you liked our suggestions for cow joke and are looking for more of the funniest farmyard jokes and puns, then why not take a look at this list of the funniest bird jokes or for something different you might like these mouse puns that will have the whole family squeaking with laughter.

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Written by Rajnandini Roychoudhury

Bachelor of Arts specializing in English, Master of Arts specializing in English

Rajnandini Roychoudhury picture

Rajnandini RoychoudhuryBachelor of Arts specializing in English, Master of Arts specializing in English

With a Master of Arts in English, Rajnandini has pursued her passion for the arts and has become an experienced content writer. She has worked with companies such as Writer's Zone and has had her writing skills recognized by publications such as The Telegraph. Rajnandini is also trilingual and enjoys various hobbies such as music, movies, travel, philanthropy, writing her blog, and reading classic British literature. 

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