Best 75+ Eye Jokes That Are Perfect For Making A Spectacle Of Yourself

Joan Agie
Dec 12, 2023 By Joan Agie
Originally Published on Dec 18, 2020
Edited by Monisha Kochhar
Man laughing while rubbing his eyes
Age: 0-99
Read time: 9.7 Min

Looking for a way to see the lighter side of life? Well, don't blink or you might miss out on these rib-tickling eye jokes!

Your peepers are not only the window through which you take in the world's beauty, they're also a source of funny humor. How would you like a dive into a humor-filled journey sure to make you chuckle while deepening your admiration for these vital organs?

Are you ready for some laughs that are so good, they're spectacle-ular? Get ready to delve into the world of eye humor, where the giggles are always in clear vision!

We've got a list of eye jokes perfect for those moments when you need a light-hearted laugh or a chuckle to share with your little ones. So, buckle up for some eye-mazing puns, one-liners, and funny jokes about eyes - a perfect prescription for laughter!

Eye Jokes About Glasses

Here are some eye-catching jokes that might have you laughing so hard, you'll need to hold onto your glasses! These eye jokes are bound to bring a twinkle to yours and give you a fresh, funny look at the world.

They're perfect to lighten up your day, have some fun, and perhaps even see your optician in a new humorous light. Hang onto your glasses, it's time for a laughter-filled fest!

1. What excuse did the lens give to the police officer when he was caught speeding? He said, "I've been framed, sir."

2. Where can you always locate the eye? Exactly between H and J.

3. Why did the man with the broken phone wear glasses? Because he lost all his contacts.

4. How many eye doctors does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one. But it may take them a while because they'll start with, "Is it better like this, or like this?

5. What kind of game do all the frames love playing? Tag.

6. How do optometrists listen to music? iTunes.

7. What did the left eye mutter to the right one? "Between you and me, something smells."

8. What did the sailor say when he went to see an optometrist? "Eye! Eye! Captain."

9. Did you hear about the bone doctor and optometrist who shared jokes? The bone doctor's jokes were pretty humerus, but the optometrist's were too cornea.

10. Where would you take an eye that is depressed? To a low vision center.

11. Have you heard about the optometrist who brought his daughter to a chamber? She made quite a spectacle of herself.

12. What would you call a deer with no eyes? No eye deer.

13. What would you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still no eye deer.

14. What did the eyes say when they finally got the glasses? "Eye'm back!"

15. What did the mom contact lens say to her mischievous baby contact lens? "I've had enough of your shenanigans. Now, go, sit in the cornea."

16. Did you hear that the police found the eye case hard to solve? Well, they've now closed the lid on it.

17. What did the patient say when the optometrist asked him if he ever had his eyes checked? "Not really. They have always been blue."

18. What did the optometrist tell the judge after presenting his testimony in court? "Iris my case."

19. Why didn't the eyes like wearing any glasses? Because they kept having to lens some money to buy them.

20. How are an optometrist and a teacher similar? They both love testing pupils.

Funny Eye Jokes

Man smiling and raising his eyebrows

Get ready to set your sights on some hilarity with our next collection of the funniest eye-related jokes and gags. These witticisms are sure to bring a sparkle to your eyes and a hearty chuckle to your day. So, brace yourself for a flood of laughter that'll have you seeing the funny side of things in no time.

21. Why did the pupil decide to end his friendship with theeyelash? Because she had a habit of lashing out.

22. Why did the girl always seem to lose her contact lenses? Because she couldn't ever keep her eyes on them.

23. Why did the teacher have to start wearing sunglasses? Because the students were really bright.

24. Why were the eyelid and the eyebrows always fighting? Because they just couldn't see eye to eye.

25. What happened to the man who accidentally rubbed some ketchup in his eyes? He regretted it in Heinz-sight.

26. What did the optometrist say to the eye that had been feeling sick for a while? "Eye hope you feel better soon".

27. Do you ever surf the Internet? Not much, but when I do, eye brows.

28. Why would potatoes make great crime fighters? Because they always have their eyes peeled.

29. What would it be called if you poked your eyes while putting on safety glasses? An eye rony.

30. What do spooks that have bad eyesight wear? The spook-tacles.

Eyesight Jokes

Prepare to roll your eyes in delight at some of the corniest jokes in the vision business! This list is packed with eye-ball rolling quips, giggle-inducing eye exam gags, and puns.

You'll surely be squinting through tears of laughter at the end of this list. Don't blink or you might miss the punchline! Let's dive into a spectacle of jokes that's sure to be an eye-opening experience.

31. What could make the eyes feel lonely? Eye-solation. 

32. What would you call an alien that had a missing eye? Alen.

33. How does it feel to wake up every morning? It's an eye-opening experience.

34. Did you hear about the man that got salt in his eyes? Now it's become see salt.

35. What are eye drops in technical terms? Blinker fluid.

36. How did the skilled carpenter cut the piece of wood just by looking at it? Well, he saw it with his own eyes.

37. Did you hear about the guy who was dating a girl with lazy eyes? Turns out, she was seeing someone else.

38. Why did the man make a New Year's resolution to get laser eye surgery finally? Because he had always wanted a 2020 vision.

39. What did the man say when he called his office to say he couldn't come in as he had some eye problem? "I can't see myself going to work today."

40. Do you know the doctor who has an office at the shopping mall? I guess he's an opthemallogist.

41. Have you seen that movie about a pig that didn't have an eye? It was PG.

42. What would you call an eye doctor who's wearing a short shirt? A crop-tometrist.

43. What did the comedian say, who only tells bad eyes puns? "Bad puns are the way eye roll."

44. Why do doctors say carrots are good for our eyes? Because nobody ever sees a rabbit wearing glasses.

45. Why were the science teacher's eyes crossed? Because she couldn't control her pupils.

Best Eye Puns

Get ready for a pun-tastic voyage into the world of eye humor! Here are some of the best, most giggle-worthy eye puns that are sure to have you looking for more.

Who knew the world of eyes could be so full of laughter and lighthearted fun? Prepare to have your perspective delightfully warped as you journey into the hilarity of eye puns. Time to clear your vision and prepare for a laugh – these puns are sure to be an eye-full!

46. What would you call an eye that can fly? An eye soar.

47. What happened when some men tried to sleep with one eye open? They weren't able to sleep a wink.

48. Have you heard about the new horse species that has one horn and one eye? It's called the unicornea.

49. What's the eye's favorite musical group? The Black Eyed Peas.

50. How does an eyeball congratulate people on their success? It gives them eye-fives.

51. What did the left eye tell the right eye? It said, "Well, you're looking alright."

52. Why do eyeballs like to use the latest gadgets? Probably because they're all very eye-tech. 

53. What devices do eyes usually listen to music with? iPods. 

54. What does one do with a black eye? Put on an eyes pack.

55. Why was the eyeball relatively quick at learning new stuff? It had a high eye-Q.

56. What mobile devices do eyes use to communicate with each other? iPhones.

57. Why did the teacher advise her students to wear glasses during their math exams? Because it would improve their di-vision.

58. When are eyes, not eyes anymore? When the cold winter wind makes them water.

59. What did the optometrist have to say about the painful eye pun? "I did not see that one coming."

60. What did the right eye say to the left one during a heated argument? "Can't you see I'm right?"

61. Why should you never put avocado in your eyes? So that you don't get guac-oma.

62. Who can investigate a case related to a lost glass eyeball? A P-Eye.

63. What song did the eyeball sing while gazing at Pikes Peak? 'Ain't No Mountain Eye Enough'.

Eye Jokes Worthy Of Eyerolls

Get set for a round of puns that are so classic, they're absolutely conry! These jokes are so delightfully cheesy, they're bound to make you roll your eyes, in the best possible way, of course.

Perfect for lighting up any moment, these groan-worthy gags are the epitome of humor. Prepare to laugh, groan, and maybe even share a few of these with others.

64. Have you heard about the scientists who found a way to make dolphins invisible to human eyes? Well, I don't see the porpoise. 

65. Why do snipers close one eye when aiming a shot? Because it is stupid to have both eyes closed.

66. Why was the eyeball sure that it was really smart? Probably because it has an eye school diploma.

67. What did the judge have to say about a bad eye pun said during the trial? "Eye will allow it."

68. What happens if you have the heart of a lion and the eye of a tiger? You'd get called to the circus.

69. What did the optician decide to name her new eyewear shop? She called it, For Eyes.

70. How does the eyeball greet everyone it passes by on the street? "Hey brow!"

71. Have you heard about a webpage that is for people suffering from any form of chronic eye pain? I guess that's a site for sore eyes.

72. What would best name for saving the number of a dedicated Apple user? iContact.

73. What would you call a fish that cannot see? Fishually impaired.

74. What do the zombies eat for dessert? Eyes cream.

75. Where do rabbits go when they need their eyes checked? To the hop-ticians.

76. How does a hurricane see? With its eye.

77. Why did the therapist suggest anger management to the eye? Because the eye had said, "Eye lash out whenever eye'm mad."


There you have it, a list of eye jokes sure to tickle your funnybone and make any day brighter! Whether they're eye-rolling jokes, silly puns, or glasses-themed giggles, the understanding and effect of humor lies in the eye of the beholder.

If there's a downside, it's probably that your family and friends might start wearing sunglasses as a shield from your dazzling wit!

On the other hand, laughter can also be a great way to connect with other people and lighten up your day. So, why not share a joke or two today and see the world through a lens of laughter?


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Written by Joan Agie

Bachelor of Science specializing in Human Anatomy

Joan Agie picture

Joan AgieBachelor of Science specializing in Human Anatomy

With 3+ years of research and content writing experience across several niches, especially on education, technology, and business topics. Joan holds a Bachelor’s degree in Human Anatomy from the Federal University of Technology, Akure, Nigeria, and has worked as a researcher and writer for organizations across Nigeria, the US, the UK, and Germany. Joan enjoys meditation, watching movies, and learning new languages in her free time.

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