75 Best Funny TV Quotes From All Your Favourite Shows

Funny TV quotes are enjoyed by all

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Pop culture has gifted us with some amazing, hilarious characters.

People have different tastes in genres. Some people like their TV shows to be fun and easy-going and others prefer something deep.

Each character has their own unique stories. A part of us relates to our favorite character from television sitcoms. We tend to adopt their styles and become more like them. Funny characters from our favorite television sitcoms tend to attract us more often. We have a list of funny TV quotes from the funniest TV sitcoms of all time. Check these funny quotes from TV sitcoms out.

If you like what you are reading, check out our other quotes articles best tv show quotes and Seinfeld quotes.

Funny Quotes From Famous '90s TV Shows

Check out this list of funny sitcom quotes and sitcom one-liners from our all-time favorite TV shows.

1. "Ethel and I have decided that you have married us and not a television set."

- Lucy Ricardo, 'I Love Lucy'.

2. "They don't even ask anymore; they just assume that their wish is our command."

- Joey Gladstone, 'Full House'.

3. "Ever since I said 'I do', there are so many things we don't."

- Lucy Ricardo, 'I Love Lucy'.

4. "Don't put me in your fantasies. I don't even like being in your real life."

- Hyde, 'The 70s Show'.

5. "I don't know. If I had the answer, I'd be at the Mayo Clinic. Does this place look like the Mayo Clinic? Look, all I know is what they taught me at command school. There are certain rules about a war. And rule number one is young men die. And rule number two is, doctors can't change rule number one."

- Henry Blake, 'Mash'.

6. "A man who correctly guesses a woman's age may be smart, but he's not very bright."

- Lucille, 'I Love Lucy'.

7. "Oh, I guess because you don’t want strangers calling you at home. Well, now you know how I feel.”

- Jerry, 'Seinfeld'.

8. "You spend so much time up this creek, I should think by now you'd have bought a paddle."

- Niles, 'The Nanny'.

9. “Maybe we can be each other’s soul mates. And then we can let men be just these great, nice guys to have fun with.”

– Charlotte, 'Sex And The City'.

10. "Lucy, you've got some 'splaining to do!"

- Ricky Ricardo, 'I Love Lucy'.

Funny Quotes From 'The Office'

'The Office' has some of the best funny TV quotes and is a fan favorite television show. 'The Office' has some of the best Tv comedy of all time. Check these hilarious funny TV quotes out.

11. “Sometimes I’ll start a sentence and I don’t even know where it’s going. I just hope I find it along the way.”

- Michael Scott, 'The Office'.

12. “Sorry I annoyed you with my friendship.”

- Andy Bernard, 'The Office'.

13. "I knew exactly what to do, but in a much more real sense I had no idea what to do."

- Michael Scott, 'The Office'.

14. “Identity theft is not a joke, Jim! Millions of families suffer every year.”

- Dwight Schrute, 'The Office'.

15. “I’m an early bird and I’m a night owl, so I’m wise and have worms.”

- Michael Scott, 'The Office'.

16. "If you didn’t already know, prison isn’t a fun place."

- Michael Scott, 'The Office'.

17. "Oh, it is on, like a prawn who yawns at dawn."

- Andy Bernard, 'The Office'.

18. “I feel like all my kids grew up, and then they married each other. It’s every parent’s dream.”

- Michael Scott, 'The Office'.

19. "Should have burned this place down when I had the chance."

- Michael Scott, 'The Office'.

Best Funny Quotes From Sitcoms

Funny sitcoms quotes are the best

These funniest TV show quotes from the best television sitcoms will make you re-watch these TV shows. Check out these best sitcom quotes.

20. “You can’t spell America without Erica.”

– Erica, 'Stranger Things'.

21. “I have been here for less than two weeks. I have been starved out, felt up, teased, stalked, threatened, and called Taylor Swift.”

– Piper, 'Orange Is The New Black'.

22. “I dreamed that you were a dog. And the dog was my husband. Anyway, It was the worst dream ever!”

– Taiga Aisaka, 'Toradora'.

23. “I’m a good boyfriend in my sleep.”

- Marshall Eriksen, 'How I Met Your Mother'.

24. “Are you sure? Cause I took one of those 'Which Gossip Girl are you?' quizzes, and it said I was the dad’s guitar.”

- Liz Lemon, 'Orange Is The New Black'.

25. “I am absolutely paralyzed by decision-making.”

- Chidi Anagonye, 'The Good Place'.

26. "Hair is everything. We wish it wasn't, so we could actually think about something else occasionally, but it is."

- Fleabag, 'Fleabag'.

27. "I've been eating for two my whole life and now I've act got an excuse."

- Mindy Lahiri, 'The Mindy Project'.

28. “She disrespected me. Now I’m gonna have to kill her.”

– Pennsatucky, 'Orange Is The New Black'.

29. "An apple a day keeps anyone away, if you throw it hard enough!”

– Marie Mjolnir, 'Soul Eater'.

30. “Claustrophobic? Who would ever be afraid of Santa Clause?”

- Jason, 'The Good Place'.

Funny Quotes From 'Brooklyn Nine-Nine'

This hilarious TV show has changed many people in society with humor. Check these funny TV show quotes from 'Brooklyn Nine-Nine'.

31. “The only thing I’m not good at is modesty, because I’m great at it.”

- Gina Linette, 'Brooklyn Nine-Nine'.

32. "That's because vampires don't appear on film."

- Captain Holt, 'Brooklyn Nine-Nine'.

33.  “You should make me your campaign manager. I was born for politics. I have great hair and I love lying.”

- Gina Linette, 'Brooklyn Nine-Nine'.

34. "Sarge, with all due respect, I am gonna completely ignore everything you just said."

- Jake Peralta, 'Brooklyn Nine-Nine'.

35. "You look happy. Let me guess. Your egg sandwich fell on the floor, and they gave it to you for free."

- Amy Santiago, 'Brooklyn Nine-Nine'.

36. "Jake, why don't you just do the right thing and jump out of a window?"

- Gina Linette, 'Brooklyn Nine-Nine'.

37. "We've busted murderers; we've taken down cartels. But today we face the worst New York has to offer- the Fire Department."

- Jake Peralta, 'Brooklyn Nine-Nine'.

38. “Hello, unsolved case. Do you bring me joy? No, because you’re boring and you’re too hard. See ya.”

- Scully, 'Brooklyn Nine-Nine'.

39. "Fine. but in protest, I’m walking over there extremely slowly!”

- Jake Peralta, 'Brooklyn Nine-Nine'.

40. “Captain Wuntch. Good to see you. But if you’re here, who’s guarding hades?”

- Captain Holt, 'Brooklyn Nine-Nine'.

41. "I wasn't hurt that badly. The doctor said all my bleeding was internal. That's where the blood's supposed to be."

- Jake Peralta, 'Brooklyn Nine-Nine'.

Funny Quotes From Popular TV Shows

Funny television quotes from sitcoms are popular.

Reading a few famous sitcom quotes and funny TV lines in between work can make our work feel less difficult. Check out these funny TV quotes from some of the funniest television shows.  

42. “Everyone has an opinion on how long it takes to recover from a breakup.”

- Ted Mosby, 'How I Met Your Mother'.

43. “Don't make me an optimist. You will ruin my life.”

- Fleabag, 'Fleabag'.

44. “I pretty much just do whatever Oprah tells me to.”

- Liz Lemon, 'Orange Is The New Black'.

45. “I would say I outdid myself, but I’m always this good. So I simply did myself.”

- Tahani, 'The Good Place'.

46. “She‘s our friend and she’s crazy.”

– Dustin Henderson, 'Stranger Things'.

47. “Death is all around us.”

- Marshall Eriksen, 'How I Met Your Mother'.

48. “Do you have any idea how stupid we are? Don’t underestimate us.”

– Kondou Isao, 'Gintama'.

49. "Maybe I won't get married you know? Maybe I'll do one of those 'Eat Pray Love' things. Ugh, forget it, I don't want to pray."

- Mindy Lahiri, 'The Mindy Project'.

50. “Oh… That word bums me out unless it’s between the words meat and pizza.”

- Liz Lemon, 'Orange Is The New Black'.

51. “I haven’t been this upset since my good friend Taylor was rudely upstaged by my other friend Kanye, who was defending my best friend Beyoncé.”

- Tahani, 'The Good Place'.

52. “If you use your head, you won’t get fat even if you eat sweets.”

– L Lawliet, 'Death Note'.

53. “If anyone asks where I am, I’ve left the country.”

–Mike Wheeler, 'Stranger Things'.

Funny Quotes From 'The Big Bang Theory'

The more we read funny TV quotes from this television show, the more we understand why this is one one the longest-running television shows. Listed below are some funny TV quotes from 'The Big Bang Theory'.    

54.  "Interesting. You're afraid of insects and women. Ladybugs must render you catatonic."

- Sheldon Cooper, 'The Big Bang Theory'.

55. “Amy, good luck getting these guys excited about a dinner with a theme. I gave up when no one cared about my Tom Hanks-Giving.”

- Raj Koothrappali, 'The Big Bang Theory'.

56. “Do you have any idea how hard it is to laugh at a knock knock joke that starts ‘Knock Knock Knock, Amy. Knock Knock Knock, Amy. Knock Knock Knock, Amy’?”

– Amy Farrah Fowler, 'The Big Bang Theory'.

57. “Yeah, it was fun. I walked in and two different guys got asthma attacks. It felt pretty good.”

- Penny, 'The Big Bang Theory'.

58. “Merry Newton-mas everyone.”

– Leonard Hofstadter, 'The Big Bang Theory'.

59. “I am not crazy, my mother had me tested.”

– Sheldon Cooper, 'The Big Bang Theory'.

60. “Love is not a sprint, it’s a marathon -- a relentless pursuit that only ends when she falls into your arms ...or hits you with the pepper spray.”

- Howard Wolowitz, 'The Big Bang Theory'.

61. "That's no reason to cry. One cries because one is sad. For example, I cry because others are stupid, and that makes me sad."

– Sheldon Cooper, 'The Big Bang Theory'.

62. “I do wanna fling my poop at her.”

- Penny, 'The Big Bang Theory'.

63. “We’re all pathetic and creepy, and can’t get girls. That’s why we fight robots.”

- Barry Kripke, 'The Big Bang Theory'.

Funny Quotes From 'Friends'

Check these funny 'Friends' TV show quotes out to relive the best moments from the show.

64. “You can’t just give up! Is that what a dinosaur would do?”

- Joey Tribbiani, 'Friends'.

65. "Could I be wearing any more clothes."

- Joey Tribbiani, 'Friends'.

66. “Hi. I’m Chandler. I make jokes when I’m uncomfortable.”

- Chandler Bing, 'Friends'.

67. "Oh, I wish I could, but I don’t want to."

- Phoebe Buffay, 'Friends'.

68. “Yeah,  it’s like a cow’s opinion. It just doesn’t matter. It’s moo.”

- Joey Tribbiani, 'Friends'.

69. "Phoebe: “You are not gonna believe this — I have just been discovered!

Chandler: “Now, wait a minute. I claimed you in the name of France four years ago!”


70. "You’re so far past the line, you can’t even see the line. The line is a dot to you."

- Joey Tribbiani, 'Friends'.

71. “I’m not great at the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?”

- Chandler Bing, 'Friends'.

72. "Don’t you put words in people’s mouths! You put turkey in people’s mouths."

- Joey Tribbiani, 'Friends'.

73. “That's right, I stepped up! She's my friend and she needed help. If I had to, I'd pee on any one of you!”

- Joey Tribbiani, 'Friends'.

74. “I can handle this. ‘Handle’ is my middle name. Actually, ‘handle’ is the middle of my first name.”

- Chandler Bing, 'Friends'.

75. “What's not to like? Custard? Good. Jam? Good. Meat? Good.”

- Joey Tribbiani, 'Friends'.

Here at Kidadl, we have carefully created lots of interesting family-friendly quotes for everyone to enjoy! If you liked our suggestions for funny tv quotes then why not take a look at [Phoebe Buffay quotes], or 'The Office' Christmas quotes.


Written By

Kidadl Team


The Kidadl Team is made up of people from different walks of life, from different families and backgrounds, each with unique experiences and nuggets of wisdom to share with you. From lino cutting to surfing to children’s mental health, their hobbies and interests range far and wide. They are passionate about turning your everyday moments into memories and bringing you inspiring ideas to have fun with your family.

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