40+ Best Tommy Boy Quotes That Will Have The Whole Family In Fits

Released in 1995, 'Tommy Boy' was a great commercial success.

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Released in the year 1995, 'Tommy Boy' the movie, starring Chris Farley and David Spade may not have been popular among critics but was certainly a great commercial success.

'Tommy Boy' is a film that came out in 1995 directed by Peter Segal. Made with 'SNL' stars, Tommy boy was played by Chris Farley, and David Spade played the character of Richard.

'SNL' is predominantly known for bringing about some of the finest comedians and actors with great performances and such is also the case with this film. Thomas R. Calahan III, otherwise known as Tommy, is an underachieving and bumbling son of an auto-parts tycoon who just cannot get by in life without the help of his dad. When one day Tommy's father unfortunately dies, he is left devastated and completely helpless, as he now also has to save his father's company and fortune. Tommy is tasked to work alongside a snide accountant called Richard by his father, and they now run amok in a side-splitting adventure of sorts. Did you know that the character of Zalinsky is played by Dan Aykroyd, 'Tommy Boy' also features Brian Dennehy as Tommy Boy's dad and that the film made 32.7 million USD at the box office?

The, "what'd you do" 'Tommy Boy' movie quote is probably the most famous moment from the movie, but rest assured that there are a ton more hilarious moments in there for hours of laughter. Here are some uproarious 'Tommy Boy' movie quotes from Chris Farley, David Spade and more. If you like these, then we're sure you'll enjoy these [Chris Farley quotes] and ['Wayne's World' quotes] too.

Funny 'Tommy Boy Quotes'

Here are some comical quotes from the 'Tommy Boy' best scenes, spoken by Chris Farley, David Spade and other actors. Can you spot a quote from your favorite 'Tommy Boy' scene here? Look out for the "Herbie Hancock" 'Tommy Boy' quote here too!

1. "Tommy: Does this suit make me look fat?

Richard: No, your face does."

2. "Brothers don't shake hands. Brothers gotta hug."

-Tommy, 'Tommy Boy'.

3. "Guy puts a fancy guarantee on a box 'cause he wants you to feel all warm and toasty inside."

-Tommy, 'Tommy Boy'.

4. "Tommy: Him too afraid to get out, him just a little guy.

Richard: All right, that's it, fat boy, I'm gonna wail on you."

5. "Look mommy, the rhino's getting too close to the car."

-Richard, 'Tommy Boy'.

6. "I'd rather take a butcher's word for it."

-Tommy, 'Tommy Boy'.

7. "Richard: I need your John Hancock.

Tommy: It's Herbie Hancock."

8. "Were you calling from a walkie-talkie?"

-Richard, 'Tommy Boy'.

9. "Tommy: Did you hear I finally graduated?

Richard: Yeah and just a shade under a decade too... Aaalright."

10. "I can't hear you, you're trailing off, and did I catch a niner in there?"

-Richard, 'Tommy Boy'.

The Best Chris Farley Movie Quotes From 'Tommy Boy'

Here are some funny Chris Farley quotes from the famous 'Tommy Boy' fight scene, the 'Tommy Boy' restaurant scene, 'Tommy Boy' boat scene, 'Tommy Boy' deer scene and 'Tommy Boy' airplane scene. Phew, that is a lot of iconic scenes! Keep an eye out for the famous 'Tommy Boy' guarantee quote here too!

11. "I'm gonna go ask directions to our next huge embarrassing failure."

-Richard, 'Tommy Boy'.

12. "Paul: Did you eat a lot of paint chips when you were a kid?

Tommy: Why..."

13. "I was checking the ah, specs on the end line, for the... rotary girder."

-Tommy, 'Tommy Boy'.

14. "Reporter: Is that why you've strapped a bomb to your chest?

Tommy: Oh this isn't a bomb. These are road flares.

Zalinsky: Road flares? Did you live under power lines as a kid or something?"

15. "I can practically hear you getting fatter."

-Richard, 'Tommy Boy'.

16. "I got a D+! I'm gonna graduate!"

-Tommy, 'Tommy Boy'.

17. "My whole life sucks! I don't know what I'm doing, I don't know where I'm going. My dad just died, we just killed Bambi, I'm out here getting my butt kicked and every time I drive down the road I wanna jerk the wheel into a god darn bridge abutment!"

-Tommy, 'Tommy Boy'.

18. "Okay... seatbelts. Just put the little thing into the big thing and... I tell ya what. If you don't know how to fasten your seatbelt, just raise your hand and I'll have Tommy boy here come back there and hit you in the head with a tack hammer."

-Richard, 'Tommy Boy'.

19. "Forget it, I quit, I can't do this anymore, man."

-Tommy, 'Tommy Boy'.

The cult classic 'Tommy Boy' is the perfect movie for your weekend pastime.

Richard And Tommy Boy Lines From 'Tommy Boy' Funny Scenes

Here are some more comic lines including the a 'Tommy Boy' housekeeping quote, prehistoric forest 'Tommy Boy' cars quotes, other quotes about the car in 'Tommy Boy' and 'Tommy Boy' chicken wings quotes from the 'Tommy Boy' script. These are some of the best David Spade and best Chris Farley quotes from 'Tommy Boy'.

20. "Richard: I think your brain has a thick candy shell.

Tommy: Your... Your brain has the shell on it."

21. "Kid: Hey Mom! It's the guy who robbed the bank.

Tommy: I didn't rob any bank!

Kid: Oh yeah, right. Like it was some other real fat guy with a tiny head.

Tommy: I got a tiny head?"

22. "Hey if you're going to say I didn't put the right kind in, you're wrong. I used 10-W-30. And besides, motor oil would have nothing to do with this accident."

-Tommy, 'Tommy Boy'.

23. "I've seen some crazy stuff in my time, but that... was... awesome. Oh, sorry about your car, man. That... that sucks."

-Tommy, 'Tommy Boy'.

24. "Richard: Oh, that sounds good! Melted chocolate inside the dash, that really ups the resale value.

Tommy: I think you'll be okay here, they have a thin candy shell. Surprised you didn't know that."

25. "We're family, we're gonna be doing lots of dumb stuff together. Wait 'til Christmas."

-Tommy, 'Tommy Boy'.

26. "Tommy: You know a lot of people go to college for seven years.

Richard: I know. They're called doctors."

27. "I wish we'd known each other... this is a little awkward. I'm gonna graduate!"

-Tommy, 'Tommy Boy'.

28. "You spray that thing for bugs?"

-Richard, 'Tommy Boy'.

29. "He's a big, dumb animal, isn't he folks?"

-Richard, 'Tommy Boy'.

'Tommy Boy' Sales Quotes For Today's Salespeople

The 'Tommy Boy' sales pitch is just one of the many funny Chris Farley 'Tommy Boy' quotes below. We hope you enjoy it, along with a pinch of the best David Spade quotes as Richard from 'Tommy Boy'.

30. "Ya figure you put that little box under your pillow at night, the guarantee fairy might come by and leave a quarter, am I right Ted?”

-Tommy, 'Tommy Boy'.

31. "Your dad could sell a ketchup popsicle to a woman in white gloves."

-Richard, 'Tommy Boy'.

32. "That's nice, you look like a Helen. Helen, we're both in sales. Let me tell you why I suck as a salesman."

-Tommy, 'Tommy Boy'.

33. "Tommy: Richard do I have a mark on my face? It really hurts.

Richard: Nope, nothing... I thought I hit you on the shoulder."

34. "But for now, for your customer’s sake, for your daughter’s sake, ya might wanna think about buying a quality product from me."

-Tommy, 'Tommy Boy'.

35. "Tommy: Um, we don't take no prisoners.

Richard: We don't take no for answer."

36. "I killed my sale. That's when I blow it. That's when people like us gotta forge ahead, Helen, am I right?"

-Tommy, 'Tommy Boy'.

37. Tommy: Right here. Not here… or here so much… but right here.

Richard: No. Shipshape!"

38. "Oh yeah... We don't take no for answer! We don't take no for an answer"

-Tommy, 'Tommy Boy'.

A Bunch Of Hilarious Quotes By Tommy And Richard

Here are a special bunch of hilarious quotes by both Tommy Boy and Richard that'll have you in splits of laughter.

39. "That's gonna leave a mark."

-Tommy, 'Tommy Boy'.

40. "He's a big, dumb animal, isn't he folks?"

-Richard, 'Tommy Boy'.

41. "Ray Zalinsky: Went a little heavy on the pine tree perfume there, kid?

Tommy: Sir it's a taxicab air freshener.

Ray Zalinsky: Good, you've pinpointed it. Step two is washing it out."

42. "You better pray to the God of skinny punks that this wind doesn't pick up."

-Tommy, 'Tommy Boy'.

43. "Okay, and life preservers, these... we may need. Although what are the odds of us actually hitting a lake? My money says if anything, it's gonna be a mountain."

-Richard, 'Tommy Boy'.

Here at Kidadl, we have carefully created lots of interesting family-friendly quotes for everyone to enjoy! If you liked our suggestions for 40+ 'Tommy Boy' quotes, then why not take a look at these ['Dumb And Dumber' quotes], or 'Trading Places' quotes for more?


Written By

Kidadl Team

The Kidadl Team is made up of people from different walks of life, from different families and backgrounds, each with unique experiences and nuggets of wisdom to share with you. From lino cutting to surfing to children’s mental health, their hobbies and interests range far and wide. They are passionate about turning your everyday moments into memories and bringing you inspiring ideas to have fun with your family.

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