60 Funniest April Ludgate Quotes From 'Parks And Recreation'

Srija Chanda
Dec 12, 2023 By Srija Chanda
Originally Published on Jan 26, 2021
Edited by Luca Demetriou
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Read time: 9.3 Min

Find some of the best 'Parks And Rec' April Ludgate quotes right here for you to use!

April Ludgate from 'Parks And Rec' is one of the best-introverted characters in TV sitcom and has been a mainstay of the show for the entirety of its broadcast. Here are some of the best 'Parks And Recreation' quotes from April Ludgate alongside some of the best April Ludgate moments and best April quotes.

April Ludgate, portrayed by Aubrey Plaza, is a fictional character from the hit mockumentary TV series ‘Parks and Recreations’.  April Ludgate is first shown as a detached college student who interns at the Pawnee Parks And Recreations Department. Later on, April Ludgate is hired as Ron Swanson's assistant. And after a few seasons April Ludgate becomes the Animal Control Department's Deputy Director. April Ludgate garnered a lot of fam acclaim with her goth like behavior and dry style of comedy and way of doing things.

April Ludgate is often portrayed as an introvert who's known to use her dry sense of humor to get out of awkward situations. She shows no concern for people around her except for a few of her colleagues, especially Andy Dwyer, who is her love interest and partner in crime doing all sorts of things together and later on becomes her spouse.

For more related content, take a look at 'Parks And Rec' quotes and Leslie Knope quotes.

Funny April Ludgate Quotes

Love April Ludgate? Check out some of the funniest April Ludgate 'Parks And Rec' quotes.

Happy young man riding on his bicycle

1. "Prom is nothing but a huge party full of smiling, dancing people enjoying themselves. It's literally my worst nightmare. And I hate punch."

- ‘Prom’, season six, episode 18.

2. “Beauty pageants are idiotic. But I found out that the winner of the Miss Pawnee pageant gets $600. I can be idiotic for $600.”

- ‘Beauty Pageant’, season two, episode three.

3. “I’ll have a glass of your most expensive red wine mixed with a glass of your cheapest white wine served in a dog bowl. Silly straws all around, please.”

- ‘Flu Season 2’, season six, episode 19.

4. “Leslie: Let's do an exercise. April, what makes Pawnee the best city in the world?

April: Easy. City Hall is run by the walrus mafia.”

- ‘Are You Better Off?’, season five, episode 22.

5. “I think we can agree that all wine tastes the same, and if you spend more than $5 on wine, you are very stupid.”

- ‘Flu Season 2’, season six, episode 19.

6. "What? I love garbage."

- ‘Women In Garbage’, season five, episode 11.

7. “Chicago has a lot of stuff and people, but I like to nothing and hang out with no one, so no thank you. And I love you. But no thank you.”

- ‘Moving Up’, season six, episode 21.

8. “Andy, if you have a secret, you have to tell me. That’s the whole point of marriage! You get twice the secrets!”

- ‘One in 8,000’, season six, episode 20.

9. “She's the cold, distant mother I never had. I love her.”

- ‘Ron and Tammys’, season four, episode two.

10. “I guess I kind of hate most things, but I never really seem to hate you. So I want to spend the rest of my life with you, is that cool?”

- ‘Andy and April's Fancy Party’, season three, episode nine.

11. “I don't know who Ann Taylor is but I hate her.”

- ‘Ann's Decision’, season five, episode 12.

12. “Oh yeah, you completely disgraced yourself and almost destroyed an entire town!”

- ‘Two Funerals’, season seven, episode 11.

13. “I'm not mad at Andy. Andy's great. I awesome sauce Andy.”

- ‘Harvest Festival’, season three, episode seven.

Best April Ludgate Quotes

April from 'Parks And Rec' is an interesting character. There have been several times when April Ludgate showed us her great dry sense of humor! Read these April Ludgate quotes as many times as you want to get a taste of the April Ludgate humor.

14. “Ann: Once again, they are my biological children.

April: Once again, I don't believe you.”

- ‘One Last Ride (Part 2)', season seven, episode 13.

15. “Leslie: Thank you for coming.

April: Yeah, well, I had to miss the memorable rain gutters of Washington walking tour, so, this better be good.”

- ‘Ms. Ludgate-Dwyer Goes to Washington’, season seven, episode eight.

16. “I really only listen to like, German death reggae. And Halloween sound effect records from the 1950s. And Bette Middler, obviously.”

- ‘Swing Vote’, season five, episode 21.

17. “Leslie said it was a ‘come as you were in the 90s’ party. I assumed it was the 1690s.”

- ‘Filibuster’, season six, episode six.

18. “She’s the worst person I’ve ever met. I want to travel the world with her.”

- ‘Doppelgängers’, season six, episode four.

19. “Jerry: You look lovely.

April: I’m going to murder you a thousand times.”

- ‘Filibuster’, season six, episode six.

20. “High schooler: Where’d you get that dress?

April: I was buried in it.”

- ‘Prom’, season six, episode 18.

21. “I didn't even do anything. The voodoo doll is reading my thoughts.”

- ‘New Slogan’, season six, episode 16.

22. “My instinct is to be mean to you.”

- ‘Women in Garbage’, season five, episode 11.

23. “Horizons are dumb. Never broaden your horizons.”

- ‘Smallest Park’, season four, episode eight.

24. “I had no idea how terrible Leslie's job is. She referred to this meeting as a nonstop thrill ride.”

- ‘Live Ammo’, season four, episode 19.

25. “I don't care about that prize. But I'm going to win anyway because I want his happiness to go away.”

- ‘Bowling for Votes’, season four, episode 13.

26. “I feel like my input isn't being appreciated. You've killed my spirit. My spirit blood is on your hands.”

- ‘Article Two’, season five, episode 19.

27. “If you ever watch a sad movie, you have to wear mascara so we can see whether or not you’ve been crying.”

- ‘Jerry's Painting’, season three, episode 11.

28. “Ann’s leaving town, and saying painful goodbyes to loved ones. Greatest day of my life!”

- ‘Ann and Chris’, season six, episode 13.

29. “Leslie: April, you're the old married broad here, how's Andy?

April: Well, last week he was supposed to buy gas but instead he bought novelty cookie cutters.

Now everything we eat is shaped like a dinosaur. He's amazing.”

- ‘Operation Ann’, season four, episode 14.

30. "I don't like lotion. I like my hands to be cracked and calloused like a railway worker."

- Animal Control, season five, episode 11.

31. “Oh, yeah, tiny rolled-up scrolls delivered by trained foxes. I'm on it.”

- ‘Save JJ's’, season seven, episode six.

Best Of April Ludgate One Liners

Want more April 'Parks And Rec' quotes? Here are great April Ludgate quote in the form of one liners along with her famous pizza quote! April Ludgate fans, unite!

32. “I wanna tell people what to do and then send them far away from me.”

- ‘Ms. Ludgate-Dwyer Goes to Washington’, season seven, episode eight.

33. “I wish we had $46 million. We could buy my parents' house and evict them.”

- ‘Partridge’, season five, episode 17.

34. “Ugh. I hate talking to people about things.”

- ‘The Fight’, season three, episode 13.

35. “Can you Photoshop your life with better decisions, Jerry?”

- ‘Summer Catalog’, season two, episode 20.

36. “I just fell backwards into your world, a couple years went by, and now here I am.”

- ‘Ms. Ludgate-Dwyer Goes to Washington’, season seven, episode eight.

37. “I don't even want to be here. The air is too fresh. It's disgusting. I can't breathe.”

- ‘Camping’, season three, episode eight .

38. “I wished for his happiness to go away. I might be a wizard.”

- ‘Bowling for Votes’, season four, episode 13.

39. “My mom’s Puerto Rican. That’s why I’m so lively and colorful.”

- ‘Sister City’, season two, episode five.

40. “I’m just gonna live under a bridge and ask people riddles before they cross.”

- ‘Ron and Jammy’, season seven, episode two.

41. “We have a thousand dollars in our bank account and we're young and irresponsible.”

- ‘End of the World’, season four, episode six.

42. “Yes, I am very powerful and feared by many.”

- ‘Sister City’, season two, episode five.

43. “This is my boyfriend, Derek. This is Derek’s boyfriend, Ben.”

- ‘Pawnee Zoo’, season two, episode one.

44. “I declare that everything you are saying is stupid.”

- ‘I'm Leslie Knope’, season four, episode one.

45. “Time is money, money is power, power is pizza, and pizza is knowledge.”

- ‘Second Chunce’, season six, episode 10.

46. “I’ll just forge it. I forge government documents all the time.”

- ‘Leslie and Ben’, season five, episode 14.

47. “I wasn’t listening but I strongly disagree with Ann.”

- ‘Bus Tour’, season four, episode 21.

48. “But at least I didn't make any new friendships.”

- ‘Beauty Pageant’, season two, episode three.

49. "I dig your groovy tunes, man."

- ‘Dave Returns’, season four, episode 15.

50.  “Do you want me to bite him?”

- ‘William Henry Harrison’, season seven, episode four.

51. “I love games that turn people against each other.”

- ‘Practice Date’, season two, episode four.

52. “I only tell the truth when it makes me sound like I’m lying.”

- ‘Partridge’, season five, episode 17.

Andy Dwyer And April Ludgate Quotes

Some of the best quotes from loving duo of April Ludgate and Andy showing off their admiration for each other!

53. “Andy: That book sounded so boring I almost cried a little.

April: Aw babe I'm sorry you had to hear that, you're safe now.”

- ‘William Henry Harrison’, season seven, episode three.

54. “April: Babe, wake up!

Andy: That’s my spaghetti, Chewbacca.”

- ‘Second Chunce’, season six, episode 10.

55. “April: Torturing Jerry was my favorite thing in the world. Next to making out with you.

Andy: Remember when we did that at the same time? It made him so uncomfortable!”

- ‘Jerry’s Retirement’, season five, episode 20.

56. “Andy: It's so much more beautiful than I ever could have imagined.

April: Yeah, I'm trying to find a way to be annoyed at it, but I'm coming up empty.”

- ‘End of the World’, season four, episode six.

57. “Andy: April, you're like an angel with no wings.

April: So like a person?”

- ‘Woman of the Year’, season two, episode 17.

58. “April: I used to play softball.

Andy: I used to play baseball! It's like the boy version of softball.”

- ‘Summer Catalog’, season two, episode 20.

59. “April: But in the end...that's disgusting!

Andy: Nooo, we'd wipe all the disgusting stuff right off it!”

- ‘One Last Ride’, season seven, episode 12.

60. “Andy: Ohh babe you had a crush on me, that's embarrassing!

April: We're married.

Andy: Still!”

- ‘Pie-Mary’, Season seven, episode nine.

Here at Kidadl, we have carefully created lots of interesting family-friendly quotes for everyone to enjoy! If you liked our suggestions for April Ludgate Quotes then why not take a look at Ron Swanson quotes, or Andy Dwyer quotes.

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Written by Srija Chanda

Master of Arts specializing in Mass Communication/Media Studies

Srija Chanda picture

Srija ChandaMaster of Arts specializing in Mass Communication/Media Studies

An aspiring media professional, Srija is currently pursuing her Master's degree in Mass Communication at St. Xavier's University, Kolkata, after completing her degree in journalism. With experience in PR and social media, she has also honed her leadership skills through her participation in a youth parliament. Srija's interests include devouring books, watching movies, and exploring new places through travel.

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