28 Sanford And Son Quotes From The Classic '70s Sitcom

'Sanford and Son' is an American TV series that ran on the NBC television network.

The series is known for its racial humor, catchphrases, and running gags. It was considered as NBC's answer to CBC's television series 'All in the Family'.

"You big dummy!" was the hallmark saying of Fred Sanford, and he always used to say this to his son in the series. Fred Sanford was significantly less thoughtful in his dealings with Aunt Esther and used to call her a "Gorilla", but she also used to match Fred, insult for insult, making the interchange fun and enjoyable. Elizabeth Winfield Sanford was Fred Sanford's wife, a fictional character on NBC's 'Sanford and son' series.

While you enjoy these quotes from 'Sanford and Son', do also take a look at our Fred Sanford quotes and Seinfeld quotes.
 

Here you will find some of your favorite quotes from the series.

1. "Fred Sanford: I still want to sow some wild oats.

Lamont Sanford: At your age, you don't have no wild oats, you got shredded wheat."

- 'Sanford and Son'.

2. "Lamont Sanford: You know what they say, the truth will set you free.

Fred Sanford: Your uncle Edgar told the truth, and the judge gave him six months."

- 'Sanford and Son'.

3. "Lamont Sanford: You're a dirty old man ya know that?

Fred Sanford: And I'm gonna be one 'till I'm a dead old man."

- 'Sanford and Son'.

4. "Fred Sanford: Let's do like they did in the Bible: Moses spread his arms out and the Red Sea divided.

Lamont Sanford: So we're gonna do like Moses?

Fred Sanford: No, we're gonna do like the Red Sea and split."

- 'Sanford and Son'.

5. "You just dumb, son. You just dumb."

- Fred Sanford, 'Sanford and Son.'

6. "Oh, It's the BIG ONE... You hear that Elizabeth? I'm coming to join you, honey."

- Fred Sanford, 'Sanford and Son.'

Aunt Esther quotes that you will enjoy while reading. These Esther from 'Sanford and Son' quotes are hilarious.

7. "Woodrow you came here with teeth, do you want to leave here with teeth”

- Aunt Esther Anderson, 'Sanford and Son.'

8. "Grady: Oh, hi... um... uh... who are you?

Aunt Esther: Esther, fool.

Grady: Hi, Esther fool."

- 'Sanford and Son'.

9. "Aunt Esther: Fred Sanford why is it every time I come over to your house you call me ugly?

Fred Sanford: Because I'm not the type to lie."

- 'Sanford and Son'.

10. "Aunt Esther: Today is my lucky day.

Fred Sanford: Why? Did you look at yourself in the mirror and it didn't break?"

- 'Sanford and Son'.

Here you will find some hilarious quotes from Fred and Lamont Sanford.

11. "Lamont Sanford: That's the way it used to be, Pop, nowadays they give you one of them needles and you don't even know what hit you.

Fred Sanford: Oh, now I know I ain't going.

Lamont Sanford: Why not?

Fred Sanford: Are you kidding? A needle. I don't wanna get hooked on that stuff. It'd change me from Friendly Fred to Junkie Joe."

- 'Sanford and Son'.

12. "Grady, you’re gonna be the first person in history to get busted for molesting a vegetable."

- Lamont Sanford, 'Sanford and Son.'

13. "If I go over there I might have a heart attack when I see he’s dead.  If I stay, I might have a heart attack just from the suspense of not knowing."

- Fred Sanford, 'Sanford and Son.'

14. "So, whether I stay or I go, I go."

- Fred Sanford, 'Sanford and Son.'

15. "Fred Sanford: On behalf of Elizabeth, would you care for something to eat?

Aunt Esther: Oh I wouldn't mind a little snack.

Fred Sanford: Son, go in the kitchen and fix your Aunt Esther a fish-head sandwich."

- 'Sanford and Son'.

16. "Fred Sanford: Ow my heart. I think I'm having a heart attack. You hear that Elizabeth I'm coming to join you, honey. Your dummy son has made me a wooden overcoat.

Lamont Sanford: What's the matter with you?"

- 'Sanford and Son'.

17. "You’re going into business with that Puerto Rican?  You ought to call yourselves, Julio and Big Foolio."

- Fred Sanford, 'Sanford and Son.'

18. "Aunt Esther: Who you calling ugly, sucker!!

Fred Sanford: I'm calling you ugly, I could push your face in some dough and make gorilla cookies."

- 'Sanford and Son'.

19. "Aunt Esther: Woodrow and I are going to have a baby.

Fred Sanford: Well somebody better call the zoo."

- 'Sanford and Son'.

Here are some amazingly funny quotes from the show, including Grady 'Sanford and Son' quotes.

20. "Grady Wilson: She can't stay here, because there isn't any room.

Aunt Esther: That's what they told the baby Jesus but they found him a place.

Grady Wilson: Okay, I'll build you a little manger out in the back yard and get you some sheep to sleep with."

- 'Sanford and Son'.

21. "Tell him in Puerto Rican--"Goat-o, get out of el house-o!!"

- Fred Sanford, 'Sanford and Son.'

22. "Don’t you go in my room by mistake, cause if I pull back them covers and see you I might have a stroke and die."

- Grady Wilson, 'Sanford and Son.'

23. "I'm 65. People say I look 55. I feel 45. I'd settle for 35 and you make me feel 25."

- Fred Sanford, 'Sanford and Son.'

24. "Fred Sanford: Why don't you clean your yard up? Go take a bath. Go milk your goat.

Julio: I did all that this morning, man.

Fred Sanford: Well, why don't you go back to Puerto Rico?"

- 'Sanford and Son'.

25. "Listen to this, Fred: 'Roses are red / mustards are green / come over for dinner / and we’ll lick our plates clean.'"

- Uncle Woodrow ‘Woody’ Anderson, 'Sanford and Son.'

26. "Officer Hopkins: When we're finished, people will be able to walk down the streets safely in Los Angeles.

Fred Sanford: Yeah they can walk in Los Angeles, but they'll still be running in Watts."

- 'Sanford and Son'.

27. "Grady Wilson: Fred told me to keep you out of this garden.

Aunt Esther: Oh he did huh?

Grady Wilson: Yea, Fred said just because he planted a garden of Eden, there was no reason to let the serpent in."

- 'Sanford and Son'.

28. "Lamont Sanford: Hi Grady!

Grady: Outta my way Lamont.

Grady: [to Fred] You expect me to believe a cock and bull story like that?"

- 'Sanford and Son'.

Here at Kidadl, we have carefully created lots of interesting family-friendly quotes for everyone to enjoy! If you liked our suggestions for 'Sanford And Son' Quotes, then why not take a look at 'That '70s Show' quotes, or 'Scrubs' quotes?