50 The Office Christmas Quotes To Bring You The Funniest Festive Cheer
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Why Christmas Quotes From The Office?
Starting as a cult British comedy series, people most commonly associate 'The Office' with its American counterpart. Running from 2005 - 2013, over nine seasons of 201 episodes, the American 'The Office's' popularity eventually surpassed that of the original mockumentary sitcom.
During the course of 'The Office', seven Christmas episodes were released, featuring everything from a botched Secret Santa to a forgotten Christmas party, plenty of Christmas pranks, high jinks, and much more.
They are a warm reminder of the festive times and bring together a vibe of the familial ceremony. Whether you're new to 'The Office' or know it inside out, now is the time to get into the Christmas spirit with our favorite 'The Office' Christmas quotes.
The Best 'The Office' Christmas Quotes
1. "This is Christmas spirit, as in spirits, booze." - Michael Scott, 'Christmas Party'.
2. "Uh oh. Looks like Santa was a little naughty." - Michael Scott, 'Christmas Party'.
3. "Presents are the best way to show someone how much you care. It is like this tangible thing you can point to and say, 'Hey man, I love you this many dollars-worth'." - Michael Scott, 'Christmas Party'.
4. "Guess who I am sitting here dressed as. I will give you a hint: His last name is Christ; He has the power of flight and can heal leopards." - Michael Scott, 'Secret Santa'.
5. "I would like a nice slice of Christmas Pam. Side of candy Pams. And perhaps some Pam chops…with mint." - Michael Scott, 'A Benihana Christmas'.
6. "In the end, the greatest snowball isn't a snowball at all. It's fear. Merry Christmas." - Dwight K. Schrute, 'Classy Christmas'.
7. "Michael Scott: A, that's what she said, and, B, I wanted it to be impressive. The biggest day of the year deserves the biggest tree of the year.
Kevin Malone: But what are we gonna do with this hacked-off part?
Michael Scott: Well, that is a perfectly good mini-tree, Kevin, and we are going to sell that to charity. That's what Christmas is all about." - 'The Office', 'Christmas Party'.
8. "Well, Happy Birthday, Jesus. Sorry your party is so lame." - Michael Scott, 'Christmas Party'.
9. "Just give me plain, baby Jesus lyin' in a manger, Christmas!" - Stanley Hudson, 'Christmas Wishes'.
10. "Yankee Swap is like Machiavelli meets Christmas." - Dwight K. Schrute, 'Christmas Party'.
11. "Christmas is awesome... you give presents. What's better than giving presents? And... getting presents... Not bad for one day." - Michael Scott, 'Christmas Party'.
12. "I've been here eighteen years and have suffered through some weird thematic Christmases. A Honolulu Christmas, a 'Pulp Fiction' Christmas, a Muslim Christmas, Moroccan Christmas. Mo-rocca Christmas. I don't want it. Christmas is Christmas is Christmas is Christmas." - Stanley Hudson, 'Christmas Wishes'.
13. "Jim Halpert: 'Hey, Pickles, Merry Christmas. Open immediately. Love, Swiss Cheese.' Damn it Dwight!
Dwight K. Schrute: Didn't think your affectionate nicknames would be your undoing, did you, Jim? Let that be a lesson to you all." - 'The Office', 'Classy Christmas'.
14. "Phyllis Vance: This just arrived from the Dunder Mifflin North Pole branch.
Dwight K. Schrute: We don't have a North Pole branch. Idiot!" - 'The Office', 'Secret Santa'.
15. "You know what, Christmas isn't about Santa or Jesus. It's about the workplace. All of you feel like my family." - Michael Scott, 'Secret Santa'.
16. "It's the first snowfall of Christmas. Is that just so magical for you, little girl? Can you not wait to have a hot chocolate and cuddle up with Poppa and tell him about all your Christmas dreams?" - Dwight K. Schrute, 'Classy Christmas'.
17. "Christmas is the time to tell people how you feel." - Jim Halpert, 'Christmas Party'.
The Funniest Christmas Quotes From The Office
18. "Angela drafted me into the party planning committee. Her memo said that we need to prepare for every possible disaster. Which to me seems excessive." - Ryan Howard, 'Christmas Party'.
19. "The name is Bond...Santa Bond. I'll have an eggnog, shaken not stirred." - Michael Scott, 'Classy Christmas'.
20. "I'm not sure I've earned the right to make announcements yet. But whoever is giving me the Twelve Days of Christmas as my Secret Santa? Please stop... My cat killed a turtledove; the French hens have started pulling out my hair to make a nest." - Erin Hannon, 'Secret Santa'.
21. "So Phyllis is basically saying 'Hey Michael, I know you did a lot to help out the office this year, but I only care about you a homemade oven mitt's worth'. " - Michael Scott, 'Christmas Party'.
22. "I would like another alcohol." - Erin Hannon, 'Christmas Party'.
23. "Everyone wants the iPod. It's a huge hit. Almost a Christmas miracle." - Michael Scott, 'Christmas Party'.
24. "Michael Scott: You wanna be Santa?
Darryl Philbin: Yeah.
Michael Scott: Have you ever seen Santa?
Darryl Philbin: Yeah, I've seen Santa.
Michael Scott: Okay.
Darryl Philbin: Who cares?
Michael Scott: Well, I'm sorry. It just doesn't work.
Dwight K. Schrute: Michael, I would like to be the elf.
Michael Scott: That makes sense because he has elfish features." - 'The Office', 'Christmas Party'.
25. "I got myself as secret Santa. I was supposed to tell somebody, but I didn't." - Kevin Malone, 'Christmas Party'.
26. "Everyone would go to one Santa, and…once you sat on her lap and she'd ask you what you wanted, you would say probably 'freedom'." - Michael Scott, 'Secret Santa'.
27. "Michael Scott: Christmas is canceled.
Stanley Hudson: You can't cancel a holiday.
Michael Scott: Keep it up Stanley and you'll lose New Year.
Stanley Hudson: What does that mean?
Michael Scott: Jim, take New Year away from Stanley." - 'The Office', 'A Benihana Christmas'.
28. "For my New Year's resolution, I gave up drinking... during the week." - Meredith Palmer, 'Christmas Party'.
29. "Meredith, you lit your hair on fire today. What about tomorrow? What is going to happen when you come into work and you're dead?" - Michael Scott, 'Moroccan Christmas'.
30. "I miss the days when there was only one party I didn't want to go to." - Ryan Howard, 'A Benihana Christmas'.
31. "Jim Halpert: What is Yankee Swap?
Michael Scott: One person chooses a gift. The next person can either choose a gift or steal that person's gift. If your gift gets stolen, then you can steal someone else's gift or choose a new gift.
Jim Halpert: I thought that was called Nasty Christmas." - 'The Office', 'Christmas Party'.
32. "At its worst, it was a toxic, political club used to make others feel miserable and left out. At its best, it planned parties." - Pam Beesly, 'Classy Christmas'.
33. "Mini cupcakes? As in the mini version of regular cupcakes, which is already a mini version of cake? Honestly, where does it stop with you people?" – Kevin, 'Dwight Christmas'
34. "I would like a nice slice of Christmas Pam." – Michael, 'Christmas Party'.
35. "When I was in college I used to get wicked hammered. My nickname was Puke.
I would chug a fifth of So Co, sneak into a frat party, polish off a few people’s empties, some brewskies, some Jell-o shots, do some body shots off myself… Pass out, wake up the next morning, boot, rally, more So Co, head to class.
Probably would’ve got expelled if I had let it affect my grades but I aced all my courses.
They called me Ace. It was totally awesome.
Got straight B’s. They called me Buzz." – Andy, 'Christmas Party'.
36. "Chad Flenderman. Just an easygoing black guy who knows the streets, yet he also went to Oxford. Just as comfortable on a motorcycle as he is on Air Force One. He’s also the world’s leading Egyptologist." – Toby quotes from The Office Christmas parties
37. "I am not going to judge Phyllis for desecrating Christmas. There is one person who will though and Phyllis just stuffed him into a drawer." - Angela, 'Moroccan Christmas'
38. "Ultimatums are key." – Kelly, 'Christmas Party'.
39. "But it’s the season of mercy." - Angela, 'Moroccan Christmas'
40. “The name is Bond … Santa Bond. I’ll have an eggnog, shaken, not stirred.” - Michael, 'Christmas Party'.
41. I got myself for Secret Santa. I was supposed to tell somebody, but I didn't. - Kevin, 'Christmas Party'.
42. "Well, happy birthday, Jesus. Sorry your party's so lame." - Michael, 'Christmas Party'.
43. "A real man makes his own luck." Billy Zane, “Titanic.”, - Dwight, 'Christmas Party'.
44. "I want the footbath. That's the thing I bought myself. I'm really psyched to use it. Maybe I should've taken the iPod. Oh, shoot." - Kevin, 'Christmas Party'.
45. "I hope nobody takes this baby, 'cause this is great. Wow, look at that fine craftsmanship. Somebody really put a lot of work into that. It's beautiful." - Michael, 'Christmas Party'.
46. "So Phyllis is basically saying, "Hey, Michael, I know you did a lot to help the office this year, but I only care about you a homemade oven mitt's worth." I gave Ryan an iPod." - Michael, 'Christmas Party'.
47. "Christmas is awesome. First of all, you got to spend time with people you love. Secondly, you can get drunk and no one can say anything. Third, you give presents. What's better than giving presents?
And fourth, getting presents. So four things. Not bad for one day. It's really the greatest day of all time." - Michael, 'Christmas Party'.
48. "Jim: That's my favorite part of Christmas, the authority.
Pam: And the fear." - 'Dwight Christmas'
49. "I would start at the beginning, but I think I need to go farther back." - Toby, 'Dwight Christmas'
50. "Reverse psychology is an awesome tool. I don't know if you guys know about it, but basically you make someone think the opposite of what you believe and that tricks them into doing something stupid. Works like a charm." - Michael, 'Dwight Christmas'
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Sources
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0664513/quotes/qt0985560
https://www.lifeandstylemag.com/posts/the-office-christmas-quotes-121327/
https://www.officequotes.net/no5-10.php
https://noguiltfangirl.com/best-quotes-from-the-office-christmas-episodes/
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Bachelor of Arts specializing in English Literature, Master of Letters specializing in Playwriting and Dramaturgy
Harriet SambrookBachelor of Arts specializing in English Literature, Master of Letters specializing in Playwriting and Dramaturgy
An accomplished writer and theater enthusiast, Harriet has developed a passion for the dramatic arts throughout her career. Originally from Surrey, she completed her undergraduate studies in English literature at the University of East Anglia and later obtained a postgraduate degree in playwriting and dramaturgy from Glasgow University. Now based in Manchester, Harriet enjoys attending as many theatrical performances as possible. With prior experience in marketing and script editing, she brings a wealth of knowledge to any creative project she undertakes.
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