Vicky Gayle

Grief and loss are two experiences that children will inevitably encounter throughout their lives for many different reasons, but it's not a conversation parents ever feel prepared to have.

Death and loss affect children in individual ways so until it happens, it's difficult to prepare for. Understandably, it might not be a conversation you've thought about how to handle.

Some questions you might be asking yourself are: 'How do I help my child understand grief when I'm unsure of what's normal during the grieving process?' Or 'How can I protect my child's mental health when I'm grieving myself?'

While there's no one answer to these questions, there are many resources online for parents to help their children cope with the often overwhelming, and strange, feelings that arise with grief.

Statistics say 90 per cent of deaf children are born to hearing parents who have little or no knowledge of deafness.

For those parents, BSL interpreter Vicki Frost, said it's always going to be a complicated time when they're given the news their child is deaf.

"It won't have been something parents prepared for and then they suddenly have to deal with a lot of people's opinions about how they should proceed.

"The biggest thing to remember is, your child might be deaf but there's so much on offer for them. A child being deaf means a difference in their communication and the strategies parents put in place, but they have the same happy healthy child they assumed they were going to have."

Vicki's company Sign Connect will soon become an online hub for free school resources for deaf children that they can access through a QR code. The National Deaf Children's Society (NDCS) website is also brimming with learning tools for deaf children and has a family curriculum to make learning sign language less daunting.

Emma Fraser, Teacher of the Deaf at the NDCS, said: "BSL is the right communication method for some deaf children, but they'll need access to fluent signers in order to pick it up. Their development is also supported by friends and family being able to sign as well.

"If a deaf child’s family also learns BSL, it will help everyone to express and understand the complex feelings and emotions a child experiences as they get older. They will also feel more included in family conversations, jokes and activities, helping to develop their confidence and maintain their wellbeing.

"Deaf children face a higher risk of isolation, so it’s important to foster a close relationship between them and their siblings. If a child decides to use sign language, it’s really important families take every step of the journey with them."

Ann Jillings' family began learning sign language when youngest son Daniel, 14, was born and diagnosed as being profoundly deaf. Daniel has two older brothers so the family's priority was to find BSL classes close to home so the family could learn together.

"Although he was given hearing aids when he was just a few weeks old, at that age we had no idea how much benefit they gave and whether he could hear us speaking.

We decided to use BSL and speech, so he would have as many language options as possible and we could communicate regardless of what he could hear."

Ann gradually used more BSL as the family's vocabulary and understanding of BSL grammar improved.

Ann has lots of tips to help hearing families of deaf children learn sign language:

• Start learning early and use the signs you know as much as you can. Children learn language from the conversations around them so try to do that with signs.
• Use BSL resources. We had flashcards on display, labelled everyday objects and shared picture books. We loved watching signed stories too. You'd be amazed how many signs you can all pick up by watching native signers telling children's stories.
• Enjoy it! It’s easy to put pressure on yourself and compare yourself to other signers who look much more fluent. What matters is the conversations you can have with your child, so relax and have fun practising.