99 Best Funny Animal Quotes To Make You Howl Laughing

Why Funny Animal Quotes?

Animals are a part of our beautiful creation. Some of them are cute, adorable, and incredibly loving.

Most people pet animals as they feel a close bonding with them. Some even call their pets their very own kids.

This is the extent to which animal lovers show their affection to the animals. If you are one of them, these animal quotes will make your day and bring a warm and humorous way to view our cute companions of the animal kingdom.

As you read these delightful and funny animal quotes, some will have you laughing outright, while others will leave you with a smile. Moreover, some of these quotes are also taken from Disney movies inspired by animals like 'Zootopia' and 'Dumbo'.

What Parents Should Know

• Some animals look cute and harmless, but they could be extremely dangerous, so it is always a good thing to be cautious around wild animals.
• As the popular idea goes, anything that is bright with striking colors, be it an animal or plant, there is a high chance that it will cause harm to humans, so beware!
• Animals and humans are supposed to coexist together peacefully, these funny animal quotes will bring kids closer to the essence of animals and help build a positive attitude towards them.

What To Discuss With Kids

• All animals are members of the Animalia biological kingdom.
• Scientists have found almost 1.5 million different living animal species. According to some estimates, there have been around 7 million distinct kinds of animal species throughout our planet Earth's history. Yet, 99% of all species on Earth have become extinct.
• Animals have feelings and emotions just like us and deserve everything we humans enjoy.
• You can adopt animals like cats and dogs from shelters to give them a loving home, while some animals are not supposed to be kept at home but rather in the wild.

Hilarious Animal Quotes

1. "The household cat is really a tiger that has underwent three counselling programs." - Valeriu Butulescu

2. "The fate of animals is of far greater importance to me than the fear of appearing ridiculous." - Emile Zola

3. "Let's get something straight here. Okay? There is no 'we'. There never was a 'we'. In fact, without me, it wouldn't even be a 'you'!" – Manny, 'Ice Age'

4. "Properly trained, a man can be dog's best friend." - Corey Ford

5. "In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this." - Terry Pratchett

6. "Always remember, a cat looks down on man, a dog looks up to man, but a pig will look man right in the eye and see his equal." - Sir Winston S. Churchill

7. "Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog." - Franklin P. Jones

8. "If you think dogs can't count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then giving Fido only two of them." - Phil Pastoret

9. "Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later." - Mary Bly

10. "Animals are such agreeable friends - they ask no questions, they pass no criticisms." - George Eliot

11. "God in his wisdom made the fly, And then forgot to tell us why." - Ogden Nash

12. "Size isn't everything. The whale is endangered, while the ant continues to do just fine." - Bill Vaughan

13. "If you're a zebra being chased by a lion, maybe just stop in front of a giant bar code?" - Guy Endore-Kaiser

14. "We've all done this because we're so mature. You see a cow on the side of the road, stick your head out the window and go, "Mooooo!" Like we expect the cow to think, "Hey, there's another cow, driving that car! How can he afford that?"" - Garry Shandling

15. "I admit opening an alligator petting zoo was not the best idea, but I told the kids to be careful so there's plenty of blame to go around." - John Lyon

16. "I don't know about you guys, but we are the weirdest herd I've ever seen." – Sid, 'Ice Age'

17. "My friend was attacked by a duck. I yelled "duck!" to warn him, but it just made it worse." - Kelkulus

18. "That south thing is way overrated. The heat, the crowds—who needs it? Isn't this great? You and me, two bachelors knockin' about in the wild." – Sid, 'Ice Age'

19. "The more excited the rooster gets, the higher his voice goes. He's got a little bit of a Barney Fife quality to him." - Jeff Foxworthy

20. "Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid." - Mark Twain

Funny Animal Quotes

21. "Our perfect companions never have fewer than four feet." - Colette

22. "If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way." - Mark Twain

23. "Give it up, Sid. You know humans can't talk." – Diego, 'Ice Age'

24. "Cats have a scam going – you buy the food, they eat the food, they go away; that's the deal." - Eddie Izzard

25. "They left without me. They do this every year. Why? Doesn't anyone love me? Isn't there anyone who cares about Sid the Sloth?" – Sid, 'Ice Age'

26. "That's it, you're out of the herd!" – Sid, 'Ice Age' 

27. "No one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish." - Kin Hubbard

28. "The better I get to know men, the more I find myself loving dogs." - Charles De Gaulle

29. "The baby? Please. I was just returning it to its herd." – Diego, 'Ice Age' 

30. "It's time to get buck wild!" – Buck, 'Ice Age' 

31. "You picked a bad time for a tropical vacation, mates." – Buck, 'Ice Age' 

32. "We came here to live a life of adventure like you. I'm starting to question our judgment!" – Eddie, 'Ice Age' 

33. "In the animal kingdom, the rule is, eat or be eaten; in the human kingdom, define or be defined." - Thomas Szasz

34. "I've never met an animal I didn't like, and I can't say the same thing about people." - Doris Day

35. "Man is an animal that makes bargains: no other animal does this - no dog exchanges bones with another." - Adam Smith

36. "Perhaps one reason we are fascinated by cats is because such a small animal can contain so much independence, dignity, and freedom of spirit. Unlike the dog, the cat's personality is never bet on a human's. He demands acceptance on his own terms." - Lloyd Alexander

37. "A camel is a very awkward animal to ride, and it's very hard to get used to because they're not very graceful." - Gigi Hadid

38. "Take the crocodile, for example, my favorite animal. There are 23 species. Seventeen of those species are rare or endangered. They're on the way out, no matter what anyone does or says, you know."- Steve Irwin

39. "Cats choose us; we don't own them." - Thornton Wilder

40. "Once when I was golfing in Georgia, I hooked the ball into the swamp. I went in after it and found an alligator wearing a shirt with a picture of a little golfer on it." - Buddy Hackett

Funny Animal Sayings

41. "What do you call a three-humped camel? Pregnant." - Nick, 'Zootopia'

42. "We may be evolved..." - Mr. Big, 'Zootopia'

43. "Beaver do better work than the Corps of Engineers." - Mike Todd

44. "But I be done seen about everything when I see a elephant fly!" - Jim "Dandy" Crow, 'Dumbo'

45. "Dumbo! You flew! Boy, am I stupid. Why didn't I think of this before? Your ears! Just look at them, Dumbo! Why, they're perfect wings!" - Timothy Q. Mouse, 'Dumbo'

46. "Never did he fail to respond savagely to the chatter of the squirrel he had first met on the blasted pine." - Jack London

47. "Ain't that the funniest thing you ever saw? Look at his ears! Baa! Big ears! Big ears!" - Smitty, 'Dumbo'

48. "I wonder how we ever got up in that tree, anyway. Now, let's see…Elephants can't climb trees, can they? Nah, nah, that's ridiculous. Couldn't jump up. Mm-mm, it's too high." - Timothy Q. Mouse, 'Dumbo'

49. "My fashion philosophy is if you're not covered in dog hair, your life is empty." - Elayne Boosler

50. "Scratch a dog and you'll find a permanent job." - Franklin P. Jones

51. "Dogs have boundless enthusiasm but no sense of shame. I should have a dog as a life coach." - Moby

52. "What do dogs do on their day off? Can't lie around – that's their job." - George Carlin

53. "I don't understand people who don't touch their pets. Their cat or dog is called a pet for a reason." - Jarod Kintz

54. "I've seen a look in dogs' eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed contempt, and I am convinced that basically, dogs think humans are nuts." - John Steinbeck

55. "Lots of people talk to animals... Not very many listen though... that's the problem." - A. A. Milne

56. "It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog." - Mark Twain

57. "The average dog is a nicer person than the average person." - Andy Rooney

58. "Did you know that there are over 300 words for love in canine?" - Gabriel Zevin

59. "But, Zazu, you told me they are nothing but slobbery, mangy stupid poachers." - Simba, 'The Lion King'

Cool Animal Quotes

60. "A canter is the cure for all evil." - Benjamin Disraeli

61. "I think I could turn and live with animals, they are so placid and self-contained, I stand and look at them long and long." - Walt Whitman, 'Animals'

62. "There is nothing in which the birds differ more from man than the way in which they can build and yet leave a landscape as it was before." - Robert Lynd, 'The Blue Lion; And Other Essays'

63. "All of the animals except for man know that the principle business of life is to enjoy it." - Samuel Butler

64. "The best thing about animals is that they don't talk much." - Thornton Wilder

65. "Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that is how dogs spend their lives." - Sue Murphy

66. "Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful." - Ann Landers

67. "There's no need for a piece of sculpture in a home that has a cat." - Wesley W. Bates

68. "Being brave doesn't mean you go looking for trouble." - Mufasa, 'The Lion King'

69. "There's one in every family, sire. Two in mine, actually. And they always manage to ruin special occasions." - Zazu, 'The Lion King'

70. "My dog is a half pit bull, half poodle. Not much of a watchdog, but a vicious gossip!" - Craig Shoemaker

71. "If a dog jumps in your lap, it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is warm." - Alfred North Whitehead

72. "You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, 'Wow, you're right! I never would've thought of that!'" - Dave Barry

73. "Dogs teach us a very important lesson in life: the mailman is not to be trusted." - Sian Ford

74. "My relationships with my cats have saved me from a deadly, pervasive ignorance." - William S. Burroughs

75. "Dogs laugh, but they laugh with their tails." - Max Eastman

76. "A cat is a puzzle for which there is no solution." - Hazel Nicholson

77. "After scolding one's cat one looks into its face and is seized by the ugly suspicion that it understood every word. And has filed it for reference." - Charlotte Gray

78. "A well-trained dog will make no attempt to share your lunch. He will just make you feel so guilty that you cannot enjoy it." - Helen Thomson

Funny Pet Quotes

79. "I love cats because I enjoy my home; and little by little, they become its visible soul." - Jean Cocteau

80. "You can trust your dog to guard your house but never trust your dog to guard your sandwich." - Unknown*

81. "My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to $3.00 a can. That's almost $21.00 in dog money." - Joe Weinstein

82. "There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats." - Albert Schweitzer

83. "Cats have it all – admiration, an endless sleep, and company only when they want it." - Rod McKuen

84. "If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise." - Unknown*

85. "No home decor is complete without dog hair." - Unknown*

86. "The cat is there when you call her – if she doesn't have something better to do." - Bill Alder

87. "I've met many thinkers and many cats, but the wisdom of cats is infinitely superior." - Hippolyte Taine

88. "Whoever said you can't buy happiness forgot about puppies." - Unknown*

89. "If you want the best seat in the house, you'll have to move the dog." - Unknown*

90. "You cannot look at a sleeping cat and feel tense." - Jane Pauley

91. "Every snack you make, every meal you bake, every bite you take… I'll be watching you." - Unknown*

92. "No matter how little money and how few possessions you own, having a dog makes you feel rich." - Louis Sabin

93. "They say the smart dog obeys but the smarter dog knows when to disobey." - Amy Hempel

94. "What I like most about people is their dogs." - Unknown*

95. "If our dog doesn't like you, we probably won't either." - Unknown*

96. "Leave me alone – I'm only speaking to dogs today." - Unknown*

97. "Ideas are like rabbits. You get a couple and learn how to handle them, and pretty soon you have a dozen." - John Steinbeck

98. "Choosing a dog may be the only chance you get to pick a relative." - Unknown*

99. "The more people I meet, the more I love my dog." - Unknown*

*We could not verify the original source of these quotations; if you know where they came from, please get in touch with us at hello@kidadl.com

You Might Also Like

Animal Lover Quotes

Duck Quotes

Rescue Dog Quotes