65 Best Funny Family Quotes That The Whole Family Will Love

We are here with a collection of quotes about families that are just perfect for each crazy and loving family that will make you roll on the ground.

Families are essential and inseparable parts of our lives. But they are equally responsible for making  us a little loopy and making fun of us or embarrassing us in front of others.

All families are unique in some way. Most families are just a union of different types of clowns brought together and staying under one roof. So, let’s check out some of the best funny quotes about families you will relate to.

Also, if you like this article, check out funny dad quotes and funny parenting quotes.

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Famous Family Quotes That You Will Love

Family is something that you don’t get to choose, but they also ensure you that you are not alone in this crazy world and that there are others that you can relate to. Let’s look at some of the funniest quotes about family and funny parenting quotes which you will absolutely love and enjoy.

1. “The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going.”

- George Carlin.

2. “When your mother asks, ‘Do you want a piece of advice?’ it’s a mere formality. It doesn’t matter if you answer yes or no. You’re going to get it anyway.”

- Erma Bombeck.

3. “If your family tree does not fork, you might be a redneck.”

- Jeff Foxworthy.

4. “When I was ten, my family moved to Downer’s Grove, Illinois. When I was twelve, I found them.”

- Emo Phillips.

5. “Home, nowadays, is a place where part of the family waits till the rest of the family brings the car back.”

- Earl Wilson.

6. “I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance -waiting for the bathroom.”

- Bob Hope.

7. “Parents are not interested in justice, they’re interested in peace and quiet.”

- Bill Cosby.

8. “Family love is messy, clinging, and of an annoying and repetitive pattern…like bad wallpaper.”

- Friedrich Nietzsche.

9. “I know family comes first, but shouldn’t that mean after breakfast?”

- Jeff Lindsay.

10. “Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops.”

- Cary Grant.

11. “Every family is dysfunctional, whether you want to admit it or not.”

- Shailene Woodley.

12. “One day you will do things for me that you hate. That is what it means to be family.”

- Jonathan Safran Foer.

13. “Home is the place where, when you have to go there, they have to take you in.”

- Robert Frost.

14. “What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bees and he told me about the butcher and my wife.”

- Rodney Dangerfield.

15. “Humans are not proud of their ancestors, and rarely invite them round to dinner.”

- Douglas Adams.

16. “My family is really boring. They have a coffee table book called Pictures We Took Just to Use Up the Rest of the Film.”

- Penelope Lombard.

Funny Family Quotes

All families have their share of quirky fun and members. Your family is the one that has supported you in your worst time but has laughed at you enough through your embarrassing moments.

Let’s take a look at some of the best collections of funny family quotes that are also some of the best family quotes that will help you relate to all the uniqueness of families.

17. “There’s nothing that makes you more insane than family. Or more happy. Or more exasperated. Or more...secure.”

- Jim Butcher.

18. “Having a family is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain.”

- Martin Mull.

19. “Children really can brighten up a house, because they never turn the lights off.”

- Ralph Bus.

20. “Obviously, if I was serious about having a relationship with someone long-term, the last people I would introduce him to would be my family.”

- Chelsea Handler.

21. “A man’s womenfolk, whatever their outward show of respect for his merit and authority, always regard him secretly as an ass, and with something akin to pity.”

- H. L. Mencken.

22. “The advantage of having only one child is that you always know who did it.”

- Erma Bombeck.

23. “In a household of toddlers and pets, we discover this rule of thumb about happy families, that they are least two-thirds incontinent.”

- Robert Brault.

24. “The more you’re loving and understanding, the more your kids will sing.”

- Maxime Lagacé.

25. “My friends and family always thought I was pretty funny, but I don’t know if they thought I was get-my-own-show funny.”

- Nick Kroll.

26. “Family life is a bit like a runny peach pie, not perfect but who’s complaining?”

- Robert Brault.

27. “If you don’t believe in ghosts, you’ve never been to a family reunion.”

- Ashleigh Brilliant.

28. “Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years.”

- Gracie Allen.

29. “If minutes were kept of a family gathering, they would show that “Members not Present” and “Subjects Discussed” were one and the same.”

- Robert Brault.

30. “When our relatives are at home, we have to think of all their good points or it would be impossible to endure them.”

- George Bernard Shaw.

31. “Family: a social unit where the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space.”

- Evan Esar.

Hilarious Family Quotes And Family Sayings

Families are so much fun, and you are never bored when surrounded by your family. Family gatherings always call for hilarious and quirky jokes that will make you roll with laughter.

The father is concerned, the brother is enjoying, mom is going nuts, and the daughter is relaxing, this is the typical story of a family gathering. So, without wasting any more time, let’s take a look at some of the hilarious quotes about families and short family quotes that will make you roll too.

32. “All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women.”

- W C Fields.

33. “A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold.”

- Ogden Nash.

34. “As a child, my family’s menu consisted of two choices take it or leave it.”

- Buddy Hackett.

35. “I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.”

- Rodney Dangerfield.

36. “Families are messy. Immortal families are eternally messy. Sometimes the best we can do is to remind each other that we're related for better or for worse...and try to keep the maiming and killing to a minimum.”

― Rick Riordan.

37. “The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common enemy.”

- Sam Levenson.

38. “One would be in less danger, from the wiles of the stranger, if one’s own kin and kith, were more fun to be with.”

- Ogden Nash.

39. “In some families, ‘please’ is described as the magic word. In our house, however, it was ‘sorry’.”

- Margaret Laurence.

40. “From the ages of 8-18, me and my family moved around a lot. Mostly we would just stretch, but occasionally one of us would actually get up to go to the fridge.”

- Jarod Kintz.

41. “The family economy evades calculation in the gross planetary product. It's the only deal I know where, when you give more than you get, you aren't bankrupted - but rather, vastly enriched.”

― Lois McMaster Bujold.

42. “Nothing in life is fun for the whole family. There are no massage parlors with ice cream and free jewelry.”

- Jerry Seinfeld.

43. “The great advantage of living in a large family is that early lesson of life’s essential unfairness.”

- Nancy Mitford.

44. “It didn’t matter how big our house was; it mattered that there was love in it.”

- Peter Buffett.

45. “Never let an angry sister comb your hair.”

- Patricia McCann.

46. “In the family sandwich, the older people and the younger ones can recognize one another as the bread. Those in the middle are, for a time, the meat.”

- Anna Quindlen.

47. “I think the family is the place where the most ridiculous and least respectable things in the world go on.”

- Ugo Betti.

48. “Your basic extended family today includes your ex-husband or  ex-wife, your ex’s new mate, your new mate, possibly your new mate’s ex and any new mate that your new mate’s ex has acquired.”

- Delia Ephron.

Funny Parenting Quotes About Children

For your information, parenting is no easy task, but family members are pro at it. People know that every family has a new and unique way to bring out their parenting skills.

Let’s take a look at some of the most exciting and funny parenting quotes and family sayings that will remind you of your loved ones and family members.

49. “Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.”

- George Burns.

50. “The greatest thing in family life is to take a hint when a hint is intended and not to take a hint when a hint isn’t intended.”

- Robert Frost.

51. “I think a dysfunctional family is any family with more than one person in it.”

- Mary Karr.

52. “I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.”

- Erma Bombeck.

53. “Having a child makes you a parent; having two, you are a referee.”

- David Frost.

54. “Never raise your hand to your children, it leaves your midsection unprotected.”

- Robert Orben.

55. “Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.”

- Phyllis Diller.

56. “Family is just accident...They don’t mean to get on your nerves. They don’t even mean to be your family, they just are.”

- Marsha Norman.

57. “Family is a blessing. Just keep saying that when you are irritated by something a family member says.”

- Marcelina Hardy.

58. “There is no worse parent than an unhappy parent!”

― Rossana Condoleo.

59. “Having children makes you no more a parent than having a piano makes you a pianist.”

- Michael Levine.

60. “I love playing a dad. It’s hard to find family dramas that are genuinely funny.”

- Peter Gallagher.

61. “Some family trees bear an enormous crop of nuts.”

- Wayne H.

62. “Insanity is hereditary; you get it from your children.”

- Sam Levenson.

63. “No one likes change but babies in diapers.”

- Barbara Johnson.

64. “The advantage of growing up with siblings is that you become very good at fractions.”

- Robert Brault.

65. “I realized my family was funny because nobody ever wanted to leave our house.”

- Anthony Anderson.

Here at Kidadl, we have carefully created lots of interesting family-friendly quotes for everyone to enjoy! If you liked our suggestions for funny family quotes, why not look at funny mom quotes or [funny quotes for kids].

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