57+ Brooklyn Nine-Nine Quotes From The Hilarious Detective Sitcom

Anusuya Mukherjee
Dec 12, 2023 By Anusuya Mukherjee
Originally Published on Mar 16, 2021
Alfred Hitchcock Motel Bates scene at the Madame Tussauds museum in San Francisco

'Brooklyn Nine-Nine' is a show about a commanding officer named Ray Holt and his team of detectives, who solve crime cases in Brooklyn, in New York.

'Brooklyn Nine-Nine' is an extremely endearing comedy series which is full of some really funny moments. As a result, 'Brooklyn 99' funny quotes are enjoyed by fans of the series from across the world.

This police family comedy is great and showcases a variety of amazing actors including Melissa Fumero as Amy Santiago, Andy Samberg as Jake Peralta, Terry Crews as Terry Jeffords, Dirk Blocker as Michael Hitchcock, Stephanie Beatriz as Rosa Diaz, Chelsea Peretti as Gina Linetti, Joe Lo Truglio as Charles Boyle, Andre Braugher as Raymond Holt, and Joel McKinnon Miller as Norm Scully who have made the show even more interesting and hilarious through their amazing acting skills.

'Brooklyn Nine-Nine' is the best comedy television series, offering cool calm advice each episode, without a doubt making you laugh.

We have brought to you some of the best 'Brooklyn Nine-Nine' quotes which you will be hard pressed to not like.

Which of these Brooklyn Nine-Nine quotes is your favorite?

Also if you like 'Brooklyn Nine-Nine' quotes then we suggest you to have a look at these Jake Peralta quotes and ['Parcs and Rec' quotes] too.

Best 'Brooklyn Nine-Nine' Quotes

Without any doubt, every 'Brooklyn Nine-Nine' episode is full of amazingly cool dialogue and great lines from various characters. We have picked some of the coolest 'Brooklyn Nine-Nine' Gina quotes as well as other funny 'Brooklyn Nine-Nine' quotes for you to enjoy. You will find it hard not to enjoy this series.

women watching tv and drinking coffee

1. “Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. No doubt, no doubt, no doubt.”

- Jake Peralta, 'Brooklyn Nine-Nine'.

2. “Love, it sustains you. It’s like oatmeal.”

- Raymond Holt, 'Brooklyn Nine-Nine'.

3. “You’re under arrest for ruining something perfect!”

- Rosa Diaz, 'Brooklyn Nine-Nine'.

4. “Every time you talk, I hear that sound that plays when Pac-Man dies.”

- Gina Linetti, 'Brooklyn Nine-Nine'.

5. “A place where everybody knows your name is hell. You’re describing hell.”

- Rosa Diaz, 'Brooklyn Nine-Nine'.

6. “I asked them if they wanted to embarrass you, and they instantly said yes.”

- Captain Holt, 'Brooklyn Nine-Nine'.

7. “Sarge, with all due respect, I am gonna completely ignore everything you just said.”

- Jake Peralta, 'Brooklyn Nine-Nine'.

8. “I ate one string bean. It tasted like fish vomit. That was it for me.”

- Sergeant Terry Jeffords, 'Brooklyn Nine-Nine'.

9. “The English language cannot fully capture the depth and complexity of my thoughts, so I’m incorporating emojis into my speech to better express myself. Winky face.”

- Gina Linetti, 'Brooklyn Nine-Nine'.

10. “Move over, Peralta! Move over! Okay. And if I may do a third toast, it’ll be focused primarily on the mango yogurt.”

- Sergeant Terry Jeffords, 'Brooklyn Nine-Nine'.

11. “Fine, but in protest, I’m walking over there extremely slowly!”

- Detective Jake Peralta, 'Brooklyn Nine-Nine'.

12. “Actually, someone reported that they couldn’t find your head. But we found it; it was up your butt. You’re a fireman; you should know how to treat that burn.”

- Detective Jake Peralta, 'Brooklyn Nine-Nine'.

13. “Detective Charles Boyle: Molly. She was my poodle growing up. You never forget your first.

Detective Jake Peralta: Your first what?

Detective Charles Boyle: Dog.

Detective Jake Peralta: That is never what people mean by that.”

- 'Brooklyn Nine-Nine'.

14. “you're always bothering [me].”

- Jake, 'Brooklyn Nine-Nine'.

15. “I just negotiated my baby girls down from a pony to a hamster. Little fools.”

- Sergeant Terry Jeffords, 'Brooklyn Nine-Nine'.

16. “Detective Rosa Diaz: Right, that's the guy you said the lame stuff about, like he's a good listener.

Detective Amy Santiago: Sorry, what do you look for in a guy?

Detective Rosa Diaz: Real stuff....”

- 'Brooklyn Nine-Nine'.

17. “I wasn't hurt that badly. The doctor said all my bleeding was internal. That's where the blood's supposed to be.”

- Jake Peralta, 'Brooklyn Nine-Nine'.

18. “Amy: I can't wait to see the inside of Raymond's house. I'm gonna learn everything there is to know about him.

Charles: I bet it's really fancy. Like Beauty and the Beast fancy.”

- 'Brooklyn Nine-Nine'.

19. “No, it's probably just an empty, white cube with a USB port in it for him to plug his finger in when he's on sleep mode.”

- Jake Peralta, 'Brooklyn Nine-Nine'.

20. “Captain Holt: Do you see me as a father figure, Peralta?

Jake: No. If anything I see you as a bother figure, because you're always bothering.”

- 'Brooklyn Nine-Nine'.

21. “Sergeant Jeffords: Hey, show your father some respect.

Jake: I didn't call him dad.”

- 'Brooklyn Nine-Nine'.

22. “Jake: Halloween. Mua-ha-ha-ha. It's heist time. Argh!

Amy: Thought you could get a head start on heist prep? Good luck. I'm already dressed.

Jake: Well, I'm also dressed, and I made breakfast. Wait, where are my eggs?”

- 'Brooklyn Nine-Nine'.

23. “If I die, turn my tweets into a book.”

- Gina Linetti, 'Brooklyn Nine-Nine'.

24. “Jake, why don’t you just do the right thing and jump out of a window?”

- Gina Linetti, 'Brooklyn Nine-Nine'.

25. “Captain Wuntch. Good to see you. But if you’re here, who’s guarding Hades?”

- Captain Holt, 'Brooklyn Nine-Nine'.

26. “I’m playing Kwazy Cupcakes, I’m hydrated as hell, and I’m listening to Sheryl Crow. I’ve got my own party going on.”

- Terry Jeffords, 'Brooklyn Nine-Nine'.

27. “Anyone over the age of six celebrating a birthday should go to hell.”

- Rosa Diaz, 'Brooklyn Nine-Nine'.

28. “Captain, turn your greatest weakness into your greatest strength. Like Paris Hilton.”

- Gina Linetti, 'Brooklyn Nine-Nine'.

29. “It's such a classic Boyle trait to not recognize talent. My cousin Susan didn't know she could sing until her late 40's.”

- Charles Boyle, 'Brooklyn Nine-Nine9'.

30. “Boyle: I bet it's really fancy. Like Beauty and the Beast fancy.

Jake: No, it's probably just an empty white cube, with a USB port in it for him to plug his finger in when he's on sleep mode.”

-  'Brooklyn Nine-Nine'.

Great 'Brooklyn Nine Nine' Quotes

The whole series of 'Brooklyn Nine Nine' is full of humor and fun. We have gathered some of the funniest quotes 'Brooklyn Nine Nine' quotes for  you to enjoy.

31. “Boone: Detective Paralta. Your fly is down. I made you look.

Jake: I didn't look. And I'm wearing shorts; there is no fly.”

-  'Brooklyn Nine-Nine'.

32. “Boyle: It'll be the perfect opportunity to update my rankings. Can we stop at home for a pizza bib?

Jake: No, Charles, we gotta go fast.

Boyle: Right, right, I'll just use my work bib.”

-  'Brooklyn Nine-Nine'.

33. “Jake: 20 seconds to spare. Game over, Captain. Check me.

Holt: I think you mean 'Checkmate.' You really need to learn how to play chess.”

-  'Brooklyn Nine-Nine'.

34. “I appealed to their sense of teamwork and camaraderie with a rousing speech that would put Shakespeare to shame.”

- Jake Peralta, 'Brooklyn Nine-Nine'.

35. “Two steps forward and one step back is still one step forward.”

- Rosa Diaz, 'Brooklyn Nine-Nine'.

36. “Every time someone steps up and says who they are, the world becomes a better, more interesting place.”

- Raymond Holt, 'Brooklyn Nine-Nine'.

37. “All men are at least 30% attracted to me. My mother cried the day I was born because she knew she would never be better than me.”

- Gina Linetti, 'Brooklyn Nine-Nine'.

38. “My Snitches are the best. The key is to always send them handwritten thank-you notes.”

- Amy Santiago, 'Brooklyn Nine-Nine'.

39. “I don't know what's gonna happen on this assignment, and if something bad goes down, I think I'd be pissed at myself if I didn't say this. I kinda wish something could happen, between us, romantic styles.”

- Jake Peralta, 'Brooklyn Nine-Nine'.

40. “I don't wanna be a jerk, I know you're dating Teddy and it's going really well.”

- Jake Perolta.

41. “This whole place reeks of bacon. Well guess what? I'm going kosher. Cause Jakey don't dig on swine!”

- Jake Peralta, 'Brooklyn Nine-Nine'.

42. “How did you manage to step on both of my feet at the same time?”

- Jake Peralta, 'Brooklyn Nine-Nine'.

43. “Vivian is my fiancee. My ex-fiancee. My never-wife.”

- Charles Boyle.

44. “You can't handle the me!”

- Jake Peralta, 'Brooklyn Nine-Nine'.

45. “Captain Holt: What's wrong with you?

Jake Peralta: Never took off the Speedo. Big mistake. It is inside me!”

- 'Brooklyn Nine-Nine'.

46. “Charles: Sarge, you think Gina will be okay?

Sergeant Jeffords: She says the doctor's can't be sure, but they're optimistic. Apparently, she has something called Ansel-Elgort Syndrome.

Charles: Oh, poor Gina.

Amy: Oh, my God.

Hitchcock: Oh, you fools. That's not a disease. Ansel Elgort's an actor. Did none of you see "The Fault in Our Stars"?

Sergeant Jeffords: No. Why did you?

Hitchcock: Teenage romance, dying chick, oxygen mask. Checks all my boxes.”

- 'Brooklyn Nine-Nine'.

47. “Gina: It's a sloppy Jessica. Mac n cheese, chili, pizza on a bun. Its everything I've wanted to eat for the last 48 hours.

Sergeant Jeffords: What happened? I thought you were gonna 'last forever...'”

- 'Brooklyn Nine-Nine'.

48. “Gina: Turns out I gave up easy. You hear that...I gave up so easy

Captain Holt: Maybe we should take the chopper.

Jake: You said chopper!

Captain Holt: Death blade! Sidewinder! It's go time!

Jake: Roger that, wet blanket.

Captain Holt: No, from now on, call me Velvet Thunder.”

- Brooklyn Nine-Nine.

49. “Oh, man, I had a really gross tennis instructor.”

- Jake Peralta,, 'Brooklyn Nine-Nine'.

50. “Jake Peralta: I love this. Tux on, guns out- I feel like James Bond, and you are my mysterious femme fatale that I've been partnered with: Maxi...Pads.

Amy Santiago: Maxi Pads?

Jake Peralta: I don't know! I didn't want to make the name too sexual and I panicked!”

- 'Brooklyn Nine-Nine'.

51. “Gina Linetti: Uh, Jake, wait. What are you doing? Give me the ring.

Jake Peralta: Ha! You sound like Gollum.

Gina Linetti: That means nothing to me. I don't see those movies, I'm too pretty.”

- 'Brooklyn Nine-Nine'.

52.“Terry Jeffords: You don't care who you piss off, do you?

Gina: Not in the slightest.”

- 'Brooklyn Nine-Nine'.

53. “Well done, detectives. That is if you were trying to disappoint me.”

- Captain Holt.

54. “Gina Linetti: I fixed this!

Charles Boyle: It's working! How'd you do that?

Gina Linetti: I grew up with a smoke machine in the apartment, Charles. I like to enter the kitchen in the morning with vivacity.”

- 'Brooklyn Nine-Nine'.

55. "Jake: Be myself? Charles, I have one day to win over Amy's dad. How long did it take before you guys started liking me?

Rosa: Couple weeks.

Sergeant Jeffords: Six months.

Captain Holt: Jury's still out.

Jake: See, Charles? "Be myself," what kind of garbage advice is that? I hope you're not telling Nikolaj that crap.

Charles: [correcting] Nikolaj.

Jake: Ugh."

- 'Brooklyn Nine-Nine'.

56. “I’m not going to stand here and listen to you accusing me of things I clearly did.”

- Gina Linetti.

57. “Jake: I'm so happy I want to shout it from the rooftops!

Amy: And he has. We've gotten several noise complaints.”

- 'Brooklyn Nine-Nine'.

Here at Kidadl, we have carefully created lots of interesting family-friendly quotesfor everyone to enjoy! If you liked our suggestions for 'Brooklyn Nine-Nine' quotes, then why not take a look at 'New Girl' quotes, or 'The Office' birthday quotes.

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Written by Anusuya Mukherjee

Bachelor of Arts and Law specializing in Political Science and Intellectual Property Rights

Anusuya Mukherjee picture

Anusuya MukherjeeBachelor of Arts and Law specializing in Political Science and Intellectual Property Rights

With a wealth of international experience spanning Europe, Africa, North America, and the Middle East, Anusuya brings a unique perspective to her work as a Content Assistant and Content Updating Coordinator. She holds a law degree from India and has practiced law in India and Kuwait. Anusuya is a fan of rap music and enjoys a good cup of coffee in her free time. Currently, she is working on her novel, "Mr. Ivory Merchant".

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