30+ Mr Burns Quotes From 'The Simpsons'

Anusuya Mukherjee
Dec 12, 2023 By Anusuya Mukherjee
Originally Published on Mar 16, 2021
Edited by Jacob Fitzbright
Family watching cartoon on television

Charles Montgomery Burns is a character from the animated sitcom, 'The Simpsons'.

Mr. Burns is the richest businessman in the town of Springfield. He is usually shown to be old and cranky.

The series starts with showing Mr. Burns as one of the most bitter men in the town with a very devoted secretary who's secretly in love with him. Gradually, the character has become a fan favorite. Check out these Mr. Burns quotes to know more.

If you liked this, check out Homer Simpson quotes and 'The Simpsons' quotes.

Best Mr. Burns Quotes

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Here we have some of the best of Mr. Burns quotes on sports, Mr. Burns quotes on politics and more that you'll love.

1. "Mr. Burns' Father: Oh well...at least we still have his little brother George.

George: Buh buh, oh the sun shines so bright on my old Kentucky home buh bum - Trust me, it'll be funny when I'm an old man."

- 'The Simpsons', Season Five, Episode Four.

2. "Smithers: What happened to that mini-cell phone I gave you, sir?

Mr. Burns: Ooh, I thought that was a lemon drop."

- 'The Simpsons', Season 19 Episode One.

3. "Homer: This is Eduardo. He thinks he's an angry old rich man.

Mr. Burns: I am an angry old rich man!"

- 'The Simpsons', Season 18, Episode 13.

4. "Mr. Burns: Well, if you stay on with the Springfield nuclear plant, you could have one of these tasty beauties every day.

Carl: Can we get a health plan to go with them?

Mr. Burns: Sure, you could have a health care or... two donuts a day."

- 'The Simpsons', Season 21, Episode 10.

5. "Campaign Manager: Congratulations, Mr. Burns. The latest polls show you're up six points.

Mr. Burns: Ah, giving me a total of?

Campaign Manager: Six. But we're on our way!"

- 'The Simpsons', Season Two, Episode Four.

6. "Librarian: Colonel Burns?

Mr. Burns: Why ... I haven't heard my father's name in years."

- 'The Simpsons', Season 21, Episode 13.

7. "Mr. Burns: Who was that young hellcat, Smithers?

Smithers: Homer Simpson, sir.

Mr. Burns: Simpson, eh? I'll remember that name."

- 'The Simpsons', Season Three, Episode 12.

8. "Department of Labor Officer: This power plant violates every labor law in the book. We found a missing soccer team from Brazil working in the reactor core!

Mr. Burns: That plane crashed on my property!"

- 'The Simpsons', Season Five, Episode Nine.

9. "Take us out first. Anyone can start a family. These days no one can find a job."

- Mr. Burns, 'The Simpsons', Season 23, Episode Seven.

10. "Mr. Burns: Top of the morning to ye Why look who's here it's good ole' you!

Worker: Hi, Mr. Burns.

Mr. Burns: Hey there Mr d'uh Brown Shoes! How bout that local sports team eh?"

- 'The Simpsons', Season Two, Episode 22.

Quotes Of Mr. Burns On His Work And Money

Below are a few Mr. Burns quotes on business, his work and the huge amount of money.

11. "What makes a man endanger his job, and, yes, even his life, by asking me for money?"

- Mr. Burns, 'The Simpsons', Season Three, Episode 19.

12. "Morons. Pathetic morons in my employ, stealing my precious money."

- Mr. Burns, 'The Simpsons', Season Two, Episode Two.

13. "Why do I need another penny? I have billions. Still, if I don't take it, that hoodlum over there might."

- Mr. Burns, 'The Simpsons', Season 19, Episode One.

14. "I guess this is the end. I just wish I'd spent more time at the office."

- Mr. Burns, 'The Simpsons', Season 19, Episode One.

15. "Smithers: Well sir, you have certainly vanquished your enemies ... You must be very proud.

Mr. Burns: No, not while my greatest nemesis still provides our customers with free light, heat and energy. I call this enemy, the sun."

- 'The Simpsons', Season Six, Episode 25.

16. "Now, a few more details about this year's company picnic. It's at the plant, no food will be served, the activity will be work and the picnic is cancelled."

- Mr. Burns, 'The Simpsons', Season 14, Episode 15.

17. "The man has no idea how to behave like a billionaire. Where's the dignity? Where's the contempt for the common man?"

- Mr. Burns, 'The Simpsons', Season 10, Episode 21.

18. "Kent Brockman: Uh, Mr. Burns, people are calling this a meltdown.

Mr. Burns: Oh, meltdown. It's one of these annoying buzzwords. We prefer to call it an unrequested fission surplus."

- Mr. Burns, 'The Simpsons', Season Three, Episode Five.

19. "Homer: You know, Mr. Burns, you're the richest guy I know. Way richer than Lenny.

Mr. Burns: Oh, yes. But I'd trade it all for a little more."

- 'The Simpsons', Season Eight, Episode 12.

20. "Family, religion, friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business."

- Mr. Burns, 'The Simpsons', Season Eight, Episode 21.

Funny Quotes By Mr. Burns

Lastly we have some of the funniest quotes shown by Mr. Burns.

21. "Mr. Burns: My boy, you are a star.

Homer: Woo-hoo!

Mr. Burns: An opera star.

Homer: Oh."

- 'The Simpsons', Season 19, Episode Two.

22. "Homer: Where are we going, sir?

Mr. Burns: To create a new and better world!

Homer: If it's on the way, could you drop me off at my house?"

- 'The Simpsons', Season Two, Episode Four.

23. "You're not as stupid as you look or sound or our best testing indicates."

- Mr. Burns, 'The Simpsons', Season One, Episode Three.

24. "This is a thousand monkeys working at a thousand typewriters. Soon they'll have written the greatest novel known to man. Let's see. It was the best of times, it was the blurst of times! You stupid monkey!"

- Mr. Burns, 'The Simpsons', Season Four, Episode 17.

25. "Smithers: Sir, there may never be another time to say... I love you, sir.

Mr. Burns: Oh hot dog! Thank you for making my last few moments on earth socially awkward."

- 'The Simpsons', Season Three, Episode Five.

26. "Mr. Burns: Where are my kudos?

Receptionist: Mm, no. We don't have any record of you giving the hospital any money, Mr. Burns."

- 'The Simpsons', Season 10, Episode 21.

27. "That's odd. Usually the blood gets off at the second floor."

- Mr. Burns, 'The Simpsons', Season Six, Episode Six.

28. "Mr Burns: I am riding on a bus.

Barney: Hey. Aren't you that guy everybody hates?

Mr. Burns: Oh, my, no. I'm Monty Burns."

- 'The Simpsons', Season Eight, Episode 21.

29. "Mr. Burns: No, Smithers, I've decided to bring in a few ringers. Professional baseballers …

Smithers: Sir?

Mr. Burns: What is it, Smithers?

Smithers: I'm afraid all those players have retired and... passed on. In fact, your right fielder has been dead for 130 years."

- 'The Simpsons', Season Three, Episode 17.

30. "Smithers: Research shows people see you as something of an ogre.

Mr. Burns: I ought to club them and eat their bones."

- 'The Simpsons', Season Six, Episode 18.

Here at Kidadl, we have carefully created lots of interesting family-friendly quotes for everyone to enjoy! If you liked our suggestions for Mr. Burns quotes then why not take a look at Ned Flanders quotes, or 'Bob's Burgers' quotes

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Written by Anusuya Mukherjee

Bachelor of Arts and Law specializing in Political Science and Intellectual Property Rights

Anusuya Mukherjee picture

Anusuya MukherjeeBachelor of Arts and Law specializing in Political Science and Intellectual Property Rights

With a wealth of international experience spanning Europe, Africa, North America, and the Middle East, Anusuya brings a unique perspective to her work as a Content Assistant and Content Updating Coordinator. She holds a law degree from India and has practiced law in India and Kuwait. Anusuya is a fan of rap music and enjoys a good cup of coffee in her free time. Currently, she is working on her novel, "Mr. Ivory Merchant".

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