80+ D&D Jokes That Will Have Your Dungeons & Dragons Group Howling

Rajnandini Roychoudhury
Jan 30, 2024 By Rajnandini Roychoudhury
Originally Published on Dec 18, 2020
Edited by Monisha Kochhar
Dungeons and Dragons jokes will role-play you into laughter.
Age: 0-99
Read time: 8.9 Min

'Dungeons and Dragons' has been a fan favorite of millions of players worldwide.

Recently popularized by the famous sci-fi Netflix series 'Stranger Things,' it has blown up as one of the most played and loved tabletop board games ever played by kids of all ages. This game set in a fantastical world of mages, bards, dragons, goblins, and other monsters is a common favorite amongst all kids and is widely played by teenagers as well.

People who play this game would love to share some funny 'Dungeons and Dragons' puns and 'Dungeons and Dragons' humor in general. Bad D&D jokes, including paladin jokes, bard one-liners, rogue jokes, and rogue puns, orc puns, halfling jokes, dragon puns, and the like, are greatly enjoyed by the players of this game and can be shared for a good laugh amongst friends while playing it. If you are looking for some dungeon master jokes for 'Dungeons and Dragons', this list of funny D&D jokes, bad D&D puns are perfect for a dungeon master. 'Dungeons and Dragons' is all about adventures with dungeons, dragons, orcs, gnomes, etc. Since it's a role-playing game, you can even include a strong keep, a magic well and a cursed long sword, as major quest objectives in your game.

If you like more puns, you can look at our other articles Ghost jokes and Moon jokes.

Dungeons And Dragon Jokes & Puns That Will Bring Out Your Laughter

Dungeons and Dragons game

Here is a mighty list of some good 'Dungeons and Dragons' jokes, which also include D&D one-liners and D&D dad jokes as well.

1. How can one know when a magic sword is blunt? When it critiques the player's form in combat.

2. How can you marry a D&D player? You ask her for a d8 first.

3. What is the favorite food of a beholder? Eyes Cream.

4. What is a good D&D joke? THAC0!

5. What will you face if you're standing on a d4? Your feet are going to take 1d4 damage.

6. Which sea helps you get bonuses after sail across? Proficien-sea!

7. What's the difference between metagaming and meta humor? One is quite strange and funny, and the other is just a joke.

8. What do you call a fey that is a thousand years old? A Millenielf.

9. What is that mineral that gives you a choice but is just out of reach? Ether Ore.

10. What material is the magic skillet made of? It's made of cast iron.

11. What is the difference between a Gibbering Mouther and a DM? One is a terribly disgusting creature, and the other is a monster from the Monster Manual.

Monster Jokes

There's no need to be afraid of under-the-bed monsters anymore because these hilarious jokes about monsters will kill your fear of them.

12. What do you call someone who becomes a mushroom on the night of a full moon? A Mycanthrope.

13. What is the difference between a flumph and a half-orc bard walking across the city? The flumph is going to attend a gig.

14. How many trolls can light a candle? Just one, but he is extremely cautious.

15. What does an ogre consider an armored knight? Tinned beef.

16. What has six legs, is nine feet long, and can fly? Three dead halflings.

17. Why don't halflings plan for the near future? They are short-sighted.

18. What did the half-orc say when the tavern keeper told him, "We don't serve your kind here!" when he walked in? "That's okay. I only wanted mutton."

19. What did one Orc say to the other while eating a bard wearing a harlequin costume? This tastes funny.

20. What is more hilarious than a goblin that's dead? A dead goblin wearing a clown costume.

21. What do the undead say about people whenever they see an undead? They are always dying to look like that guy.

22. How many goblins would it require to paint a whole house? It really depends on how hard you can throw them.

23. What is the difference between a cannonball and a dead goblin? You can only lift the dead goblin with a pitchfork.

24. What is red, green, and constantly bumps into the walls? A Goblin with forks in both of his eyes.

25. What is worse than ten goblins that are dead in a ditch? One deceased goblin in ten different ditches.

26. Where will happen to you if a Vrock shoves you against a wall? A Vrock and a hard place.

27. What did the demon have to face when his girlfriend had joined the Holy Order? The fact that she fiend-zoned him.

28. How can you make half-orc bards play a chord? Make three of the bard play the same note.

29. What happens when a Frost Giant, a Fire Giant, and a Storm Giant walk into a bar? Ouch!

30. What is an orc with two brain cells called? Pregnant.

Character Type Jokes Fit For Dungeon Masters

Are you looking for the best character type jokes like goblin jokes, barbarian jokes, druid puns, pathfinder jokes, and the like? This list has them all!

31. Why are the spellcasters are most unbalanced? Because they cantrip.

32. What is the favorite metal of a rogue? Steel.

33. What is a rogue's favorite armor medium? Hide.

34. What is a monk who is good with a brass horn called? A bugilist.

35. Why do the beholders not like snow? They already have plenty of ice tax.

36. Did you hear about the sensitive rogue thief? He took everything personally.

37. What was said to the Halfling Rogue at court? Can the defendant rise?

38. How can a party tell when their fighter is exasperated? When he turns into a Sigh Warrior.

39. What is the difference between a sorcerer and a wizard? Class.

40. What is the DnD mode called where the entire group comprises only of clerics? Multiprayer.

41. What is a Goblin who has an injured leg called? A hobblin'.

42. What is a Hobgoblin police officer called? A Stopgoblin.

43. What did the bartender say when the Crusader, Warlock, and the Marshall walked into a bar? "Get out! Core only!"

44. What is a magician who is also very good at cooking? A sauceror.

45. What did the warlock after he got walloped in the face and lost his tooth? Braces of Defense.

46. What is an Ent in a snowstorm called? Shiver-me-Timbers.

47. Why did the Drow want to be a comedian? For the Lolth.

48. How many dwarves will be required to get a light bulb changed? Five. One to hold it and four to keep drinking until the room spins.

49. How many high elves will it take to fix a light bulb? Just one. He just holds the bulb, and the entire world revolves around him.

50. How many wizards will it take to fix a light bulb? It depends on what you want to change it into.

51. How many Paladins will it take to fix a light bulb? Two. One to install the bulb, and the other to "uphold the light".

52. How do you get a tavern filled with Dwarves to go up on the roof? Yell, "drink is on the house!"

53. What did the orc say to the other when he couldn't tell the difference between a Rod of Wonder and a Wand of Cure Moderate Wounds? You cannot be our party healer.

54. What is the major difference between a trampoline and an elf? People take their boots off before they jump on a trampoline.

55. Why are there no lawyers who are dwarves? They are unable to pass the bar.

56. Why are paladins always wearing chainmail? It is holey armor.

57. Why did the Halfling stop going out with his Warforged girlfriend? She was high maintenance.

58. How does the paladin protect himself against a Fire bolt? He turns his AC up.

59. What kind of forest animal helps get the druid a good green color for his robe? A Dyer Wolf!

60. What kind of tool helps wizards to write correct runes in their spellbooks? A Spell Checker!

61. Why are most Dwarves barred from drinking liquor? Because they are all Minors.

62. Where do rangers store their arrows? In monsters.

63. What would you end up with when you cross the rogue and the wizard? Time to roll initiative.

64. Why do wizards love fireballs? Because it is a well-rounded spell.

65. How do the Aarakocra send messages? Through Twitter.

66. What is a group of deep old one warlocks worshipping the astral ankheg overlords called? A sect-ant!

67. What is the favorite hot beverage of a cleric? Divini-tea!

68. Why is a tabaxi podiatrist known for handling money tactfully? Because they have experience in bean-counting.

69. Why are leather armors preferred by rogues? They are made of cowhide.

70. Why are elves always in great shape? They consume elfy food only.

71. What is a mage duel called? A spelling B.

72. What is a lost lycanthrope called? A "where" wolf.

Hilariously Funny Bard Jokes

Here is a list of D&D jokes for bards that will make you bark with laughter.

73. Why should an optimal party have a rogue and a bard? It balances out the prose and cons.

74. Why do bards who are dwarves sound better by candlelight? One can shove wax in their ears.

75. Why was the musician kicked out of the tavern? He was bard!

76. What did the other bard say to the one who asked him about what spell he cast to emit a stinking cloud? I did not cast it.

Dragon Jokes That Are Fire

Here's a list of D&D dragon jokes, including some dragon love jokes.

77. What does a dragon call an armored knight? Tinned roast.

78. Why do dragons sleep in the day? To fight knights.

79. What is a beautiful woman standing on the Dragon Coast called? A tourist.

80. What is Dragon with no silver called? A dron.

81. Why are dragons hunted by dwarves in the morning? The early beard gets the wyrm.

82. What will happen if you fall in love and kiss a dragon? You get burnt lips.

83. Why are dragons amazing musicians? They know their scales.

84. What would you say if you fail to take a stealth check while entering a secret temple and the DM says, "Who goes there"? Just say you're the Cleaning Crew.

Here at Kidadl, we have carefully created lots of great family-friendly Jokes for everyone to enjoy! If you liked our suggestions for D&D jokes then why not take a look at Sword puns, or Hammer puns.

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Written by Rajnandini Roychoudhury

Bachelor of Arts specializing in English, Master of Arts specializing in English

Rajnandini Roychoudhury picture

Rajnandini RoychoudhuryBachelor of Arts specializing in English, Master of Arts specializing in English

With a Master of Arts in English, Rajnandini has pursued her passion for the arts and has become an experienced content writer. She has worked with companies such as Writer's Zone and has had her writing skills recognized by publications such as The Telegraph. Rajnandini is also trilingual and enjoys various hobbies such as music, movies, travel, philanthropy, writing her blog, and reading classic British literature. 

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