40 Sword Puns And Jokes That Are Super Sharp

Rajnandini Roychoudhury
Dec 12, 2023 By Rajnandini Roychoudhury
Originally Published on Dec 07, 2020
Edited by Monisha Kochhar
Little warrior with a sword.

A sword is a weapon that consists mainly of a handle known as a hilt, which is attached firmly to a blade.

Swords have been in use for humankind for over 1500 years before the birth of Christ. Swords are used for cutting or fighting or for thrusting.

Before the discovery of gunpowder and guns, the major form of weapon was swords. The pointed end of a sword is called a tip, and it is incredibly sharp and thus helps in cutting or inflicting damage to opponents.

Since earlier times, sword fighting has been a sport and has been used in wars. However, in recent times, fencing is common and is an Olympic sport. Swords are often made in different sizes and shapes, and as a result, they are categorized by the same.

A few types of swords are longsword, rapier, smallsword, cutlasses, sabers, and katana which are really famous. Swords have also been extensively used in folklore and popular fiction. A lightsaber is a type of sword which has its roots in sci-fi origin.

Another legendary sword from folklore was the Excalibur. It was the sword that was wielded by the legendary King Arthur. Katanas are samurai swords and have descended from Japan.

A sword is usually forged by a swordsmith. The different ages have produced different swords like the Bronze Age and Iron Age depicted the constituent metal of a particular blade. However, blades of recent times are mainly composed of alloys like steel.

If you would like to read more such puns and jokes, take a look at these articles on puns and jokes: Knight Puns and Jokes and Dragon Jokes.

Funny Puns About Swords That Are Sharp

Here we have some of the best and funny sword puns that'll help you pierce people's hearts by making them laugh with the help of our sword and sharp puns.

1. I told my friend a pun about a sword, but he wasn't sharp enough to understand, and neither did he understand the point of the conversation!

2. I was looking for sword puns in the joke book. All I could find were jokes that had duel meanings in them!

3. My brother owns a business in sword making. He proposed that I invest in his venture, and I must say he was making some good points!

4. Swords are often extremely jealous of pens because pens are always mightier than swords!

5. My friend missed out on our class about swords. But it's not a problem, as I was present in class I can give him a samurai of it!

6. The owner of the swords shop gave away inflatable swords to all the employees as bonuses. It was very foolish of him as it was really pointless!

7. Over the course of time, swords became obsolete, and guns took over. In comparison with guns, the swords couldn't cut it!

8. Last week, I visited a shop of antiques and saw an ancient metal sword. It was really very cheap, so I bought it. I think it was a good steel!

9. The knight was seen carrying a sword made out of cheese. It was a really sharp cheddar!

10. My brother built his house on an island, which was exactly in the shape of a sword. I think he really loved living on the edge!

11. The earliest of sword makers who made the first swords thought it was really a cutting edge technology!

12. A female pirate who has excellent sword skills is probably a cutlass!

13. My brother has the intellectual prowess of a sword. He is quite sharp when we take part in historical quiz battles!

14. The famous blacksmith rejected his newly forged sword. He thought it smelt funny!

15. If a blacksmith gets killed by his own forged sword, it is a bit of an irony!

16. My sister wanted to buy an invisible sword, but I saw no point in buying such things!

17. In medieval times, no one could pull the sword from the stone as they did not have any Arthurization!

18. In a dangerous sword fight, the swordsman thought he won the game, but he found out that his opponent had feinted!

19. I found a painting that depicted a place where swords are made by people. But unfortunately, it was quite a big forge-ry.

20. The other day, I met a guy with the last name 'Rapier'. It sounded like a cool name, but he informed me that sometimes people think that it's "rapper". Well, I guess that name is one double-edged sword.

21. Two friends were having a conversation about the fencing match they saw the other day. One friend made a very good point. It was definitely touche.

22. I was fighting with swords in medieval style with a guy, and I was surprised when all of a sudden, the guy started to unscrew the pommel of his sword. But then it hit me.

Best Jokes About Swords That Are Touche

Traditional Samurai Sword.

Here, you will read some of the best and funny sword jokes, funny names for swords, some jokes on famous sword fighters, and swordmaster names. Excali-buuurrrrr is a really funny name for a sword. So forge them to your wish and have fun with these jokes and puns!

23. What do you call a sword which has trapped the living soul of your beloved partner for eternity? You call it a bae-blade!

24. What is the best way to describe nuns who are equipped with swords and nunchucks? We should call them as nunjas!

25. What do you name the sword that is made of ice? An Excali-buuuuurrrrrrr.

26. What is the best way to describe a sword which is very light in weight? A lightsaber!

27. If an aquatic mammal engages in a sword fight with you and you deflect its attack, what do you call it? You call it Parry the Platypus.

28. When Link couldn't pull out the master sword, what did the great Deku tree yell at him? It told him to Triforce!

29. Why was the samurai defeated in the fight at noon? The samurai brought a sword in a sho-gun fight!

30. What was the short diamond sword which was found by Annie the orphan? It was a hard rock knife!

31. Which is the favorite sword fight move of a resistor? Obviously, it is a riposte!

32. Which math problems can be solved by using swords? Only long division problems!

33. Why was the bird wearing armor, riding on a horse, and was carrying a long sword? Because he was a knight owl!

34. What do you say to a hunter who trades his bow and arrow for a short sword? It is a hunter who has to be crazy and de-ranged!

35. Why were small Spanish swords wanted by Pepé Le Pew? As they are a little rapier!

36. Why does this small sword keep getting angry at others? It probably was short-tempered!

37. When the king got murdered in his sleep with a sword in his chest, what did one subject tell another? I think the king had a very bad knight!

38. Which predator is the swordfish most afraid of? The Penfish!

39. What do you call a man who sword fights often and has an extreme anxiety disorder? He is a worrier!

40. What did the police suspect when they found the body of a sword swallower? They thought that it was an inside job.

Here at Kidadl, we have carefully created lots of great family-friendly jokes and puns for everyone to enjoy! If you liked our suggestions for Sword Jokes, then why not take a look at Samurai sword names, or for something different take a look at Chess Jokes.

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Written by Rajnandini Roychoudhury

Bachelor of Arts specializing in English, Master of Arts specializing in English

Rajnandini Roychoudhury picture

Rajnandini RoychoudhuryBachelor of Arts specializing in English, Master of Arts specializing in English

With a Master of Arts in English, Rajnandini has pursued her passion for the arts and has become an experienced content writer. She has worked with companies such as Writer's Zone and has had her writing skills recognized by publications such as The Telegraph. Rajnandini is also trilingual and enjoys various hobbies such as music, movies, travel, philanthropy, writing her blog, and reading classic British literature. 

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