50 Best Bagel Puns, Jokes And One-Liners

Bagels are a delicious baked bread product mostly popular in Poland and North American cities like New York, Illinois, Florida, etc.

Bagels mainly originated from Germany. But in recent times, New York is said to be the king of bagel cities as it basically has the best serving bagel shop around.

Having its roots in Jewish culture, the bagel is a bread dish that has the shape of a ring with a hole in the middle. This bread dish is mixed with yeast to give it a good rise and then baked to make it a mouth-watering delicacy.

These are often found with numerous kinds of toppings like sesame seeds and poppy seeds, which impart great taste and flavor to the food.

Nowadays bagels are a widely popular food dish which is enjoyed by one and all. It has lox toppings, which is a salmon product along with cream cheese and other toppings, thereby making it a complete dish.

Bagels are long-lasting foods and can stay fresh for almost six months. Numerous types of bagels are found, like an everything bagel, plain bagel, cinnamon and raisin bagel, etc.

Famous cities are also known for bringing out their traditional bagels, which adds to the food's charm. An everything bagel consists of numerous toppings like lox, bacon, poppy, garlic, and more.

East Coast bagel is mainly popular among the hurried busy living people. This bagel consists of a beautiful sourdough mixed with wild yeasts, which imparts a great taste in it.

This kind of bagel is fluffy and sweeter. The St. Louis style of bagel is a lot different from the other types.

It has vertical slices. The New York style bagel is one of the most popular types of bagel as it is incredibly fluffy at the center and has a moist crust that is chewy.

The Montreal-styled bagel has no salt in it, and while preparing, it is mixed with honey water, which adds great taste to the food dish. Montreal style bagels are easily identified with their generous sesame seed toppings.

Other non-traditional bagels are often formed with many other products like rye or whole wheat, while flavors range from garlic to egg or raisin to chocolate. The unique thing about breakfast bagels is that they are prepared in varieties of sweet flavors and are prepared by a toaster, and are often sliced.

So please clean up your sh-meared make-up from last night and freshen up laughing with our jokes on bagels.

A bagel pun in this list can include elements of breakfast puns, jam puns, some funny bagel sayings. These puns can be excellent as Instagram captions for the day you feast on bagels.

If you are looking for more awesome tasty puns and jokes to read, take a look at these articles, cherry puns and pancake puns, right here on Kidadl.

Best Bagel Puns

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If you are having your breakfast and feel incomplete, then a bagel will do the trick. Nothing completes a meal with a sugary touch, and bagels are perfect for that.

Here we have the best and funny bagel puns that will never be plain like a plain bagel. These jokes have humor, puns, and everything fun: just like an everything bagel! Go through these puns while having a bagel and get your day off to a flying start.

1. The one thing that a greedy person has in common with a bagel is that they both want everything.

2. Every religious person should have at least a bagel in their breakfast every day because bagels are a holy food!

3. Bagels love costume parties and dressing up on their favorite holiday as they have Halloween in the middle!

4. My wife and I had a strange conversation yesterday. She asked if I wanted some raisin bagels, but I was bewildered as I didn't know it was possible to raise bagels!

5. It's best to keep all things safe. So the best way to protect all your bagels is to put them in a confectionery box and put lox on it.

6. I visited the doctor, and he prescribed me a new diet plan, so I have decided to eat only bagels and donuts from today. My doctor has asked me to eat only hole foods!

7. Spirits have a strange craving for confectionaries and desserts. The favorite dressing on a bagel for all ghosts is scream cheese!

8. There was a huge conflict between bagels and donuts. Donuts claimed that their jobs were stolen by bagels. However, bagels contended that they needed something to earn their bread and butter!

9. It is not easy to trust bagels, and so you shouldn't. They seem seedy at times!

10. Only plain bagels are served in prisons as the authorities suspect that the prisoners would pick the loxs!

11. I left my bag of flour and pet fish in my apartment when there was a fire, I went back in to find a smoked salmon bagel.

12. My bagel friend was really sad after his break up, he kept saying he felt like he had a hole in his heart.

13. I visited the zoo after a long time, and to my utter surprise, I saw a bagel in a cage. I think it was bread in captivity!

14. The bagel and a pastor were having a big quarrel about purity and holiness. The bagel angrily replied, "I am holier than thou".

15. The bagel took part in an election, but he lost it. He was, unfortunately, a part of the schmear campaign!

16. The croissants decided to visit the zoo with bagels and donuts. They were of the opinion that it would be a lovely experience for the hole family!

17. No one likes visiting a bagel shop. It is a very crumby place to work there!

18. An astrophysicist found a wormhole in his bagel. He thought and laughed on his own that he would usually find an Einstein-Rosen bagel rather than a Cinnamon-Rosen bagel!

19. I once saw a French tourist who wore a scarf in the form of a bagel. He complained that it was plain in the neck!

20. I recently read an interesting trivia about bagels. One kind of bagel was first sold in a petrol pump and could be got in exchange for a specific coin. Guess that is why they are called pumpernickel bagels.

21. I wanted to bake a bagel differently and made it look like a dog. My wife didn't understand, so I explained that it was a pure-bread bagel!

22. I did very poorly in my class tests and wasn't feeling good. I decided to warm my bagel, and now I feel a lot butter!

23. I was having bagels for breakfast when my mother claimed that I was consuming too much butter, and it is bad for my health. I didn't agree and said, "That is de-bagel-able"!

24. I tried a different kind of bagel today. It was half of a bagel and half of a muffin. I think it was a hybread!

25. Bagels have huge trouble putting make-up on them. No matter what happens, they always schmear it!

Funny Bagel Jokes

Apart from being a delicious food item, bagel also has its usage in the literary language. Often it defines as the process of continuously sleeping for twelve hours. So sleep like a bagel and start a new day with these hilarious jokes about bagels that we have listed for you.

26. Why was the bagel called lazy? He was slow to rise.

27. What do you call a seagull which loves baked goods and only flies over a bay? Baygull!

28. How does a bagel address his grandfather? He calls him by saying 'Poppy'.

29. If a man goes camping, he generally eats what kind of a bagel? A Winnebago-l.

30. Why did the court not register the case against the bagels? Because there was a hole in the argument against them!

31. What kind of a bagel did the smart man eat? He ate an everything special bagel!

32. What is a bagel that hails from Jamaica is called? Cinna-mon Bagel!

33. What kind of cheese does Tom Hanks put in his bagel? Philadelphia cheese!

34. What did the bagel say when his friend was hit by a bus while crossing the road? Oh, Crumbs!

35. What kind of cheese does Bruce Lee put in his bagel? Cream Chi.

36. What kind of pain is worse than donut stings? When a Bagel bites.

37. What did the husband bagel tell his wife on their honeymoon? We are bae-goals!

38. What is the favorite type of bagel for a mathematician? A three-dimensional plain bagel!

39. What food did the husband seagull lovingly gift his wife? Bae-gel.

40. What does one have when he's eating fruits and bagels while standing on just one leg? A balanced breakfast!

41. What kind of bagel did shamanist Carlos Castaneda prefer to eat? He liked the Astral plain ones!

42. Which author did the bagels have to read if they took philosophy in college? Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Bagel.

43. What is a bagel called if it isn't free and will have to be bought with money? It is a pay-gel!

44. Where does a bagel go to get tanned and hot? To a toaster.

45. What is a dad's favorite flavor of bagel? Pop-i seeds.

Bagel One-Liners

Tired of winning a game in tennis with a bagel, rest for some time while munching on a bagel. In tennis, if one of the players wins the set 6-0, then it is termed as a 'bagel'. If you love this bread delicacy, then you'll definitely love these few bagel one-liners.

46. Superman's favorite kind of bagel is called El Bag-El.

47. Once the bagel got locked in his own house, so he had to call a loxsmith!

48. If Superman came from the planet of bagels, his original name would have been Bag-El.

49. The common thing about bagels and holidays is that they are both toasted!

50. The most common bagel which is loved by pilots and aerospace engineers is the plane bagel.

Here at Kidadl, we have carefully created lots of great family-friendly Jokes/Puns/Riddles for everyone to enjoy! If you liked our suggestions for Bagel Puns then why not take a look at Bacon Puns, or for something different take a look at Egg Puns.