160 Cow Puns To Lift Your Moo-d

Josie Bergman
Jan 24, 2024 By Josie Bergman
Originally Published on Jun 18, 2020
cow puns
Age: 0-99
Read time: 10.8 Min

Everybody loves jokes and cows, so they are an unstoppable duo.

Cow puns are endless amounts of fun and are enjoyable for everyone. You can make any situation better with one of these brilliant and genius cow puns.

These cow jokes are guaranteed to make your family giggle at the dinner table, so we won't try to pull the 'bull' over your eyes. You didn't know how much you needed to hear these, so whack out your dairy puns or make a few jokes about cows now - they a-graze-ing!

Knock Knock Jokes

These jokes will certainly win you the title of the funny cow in your household! We all love a knock-knock joke these ones are even better because they are all about cows! We think you will find them udderly brilliant.

1. Knock, Knock - Who's there? - Interrupting Cow - Interrupting cow.... - (interrupts MOOOOOO)

2. Knock, Knock - Who's there? - Cow says - Cow says who? - No, Cow says moo!

3. Knock, Knock - Who's there? - Candy - Candy, who? - Can-dy cow jump over the moon?

4. Knock, Knock - Who's there? - Cow - Cow who? - Cow much longer will you be outside the door?


These cute one-liners take no time at all to tell. Show off your cow's jokes to the family or any house guests! They will be absolutely blown a-Hay with your puns. Well, what are you waiting for? A 'bull' moon?

5. What do cows listen to at parties? Moo-sic.

6. What did the one cow say to the other cow on the hill? I'm udder-neath you.

7. What do you call two ducks and a cow? Quackers and milk.

8. Why was the Cow afraid? Because he was a Cow-herd.

9. What did the cow say to the calf who wouldn't go to bed? It's 'pasture' bedtime.

10. Why were the two bulls ignoring each other? They had a lot of beef.

11. Why don't cows understand what you say? Because it goes in one ear and comes out the udder!

12. Where did the bull lose all his money? At the cow-sino.

13. How did the farmers find their lost cows? They tractor down.

14. What's a cow's favorite sci-fi TV show? Dr. Moo!

15. What do you call a magic performing cow? Moo-dini

16. Why did the cow cross the road? To get to the udder side!

17. Why do cows wear bells? Their horns don't work.

18. Why did the cow jump over the moon? To get to the milky way!

19. Why did the farmer lose the race? He fell at the curdle.

20. What do you call a bull who is sleeping? A bull-dozer.

21. Why did the cow get a massage? To re-hoove-inate.

22. Why don't cows have feet rather than hooves? They lactose.

23. How did the cow learn he was a noble? He was Sir Loin.

24. What kind of milk do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled Milk.

25. Why did the Secret Service encircle the president with a large herd of cows? To beef up the security.

26. What results from breeding a rooster with a cow? Roost beef.

27. What newspaper does a cow prefer to read? The Daily Moos.

28. What ensues from breeding a dog with a cow? Hound beef.

29. What do you get when you bring together an angry cow and sheep? A baaaad mooood!

30. What conversation does a farmer have while milking a cow? Udder nonsense.

31. What did the cow tell its counselor? I feel seen but not herd.

32. To all of her buddies, what did the cow say? I'm legen-dairy.

33. What did mother cow say to her pretty calf? You're udderly cute.

34. When a cow laughs, what happens? Milk comes out of her nose.

35. What happens when a cow jumps on a Trampoline? You get a milkshake!

36. What does a spying cow do? They steak out.

37. What draws cows to New York? The moosical!

38. How do cows go to Mars? By flying through udder space.

39. How do you keep the cow mute? By pressing mooote button.

40. How does a farmer count his cow? Using cowculator.

41. What does a cow eat for breakfast? Mooosli.

42. What do cows do at concerts? They play moo-sic.

43. What do you call a herd of cows telling jokes? A laughing stock.

44. What happens when cows fight together? Cattle battle.

45. Why are bulls not archers? They're afraid of hitting bulls-eye.

46. What is a strong cow called? A beefy cow.

47. What do cows do when they can't stand the heat? Go out in the pasture.

48. What does a farmer says when he scolds a cow? You're such a pain in the udder!

49. What do you say when cows get along with each other? They're mooing along nicely!

50. What does a farmer say when he pets his cow? You're always graze-ing for compliments.

51. What does a farmer say to his naughty cow? You're udderly ridiculous.

52. What does a farmer says when he has no idea what's going on with his cows? It seems everything went to cow!

53. What is the restricted area for bulls called? No-bull zone.

54. What does a farmer say to his diva cow? You're always milking the situation for all it's worth!

55. What does a bull say to a cow? If you don't stop making those cow eyes at me, I'm going to start moo-ing!

56. How does a farmer scold his cow who eats other cows' food? You're always mooching off of others... why can't you stand on your own four feet?

57. Cow without no legs? Ground beef.

58. What do you call a cow who has two legs? Lean beef!

59. What do you call a difficult cow? Tough bovine.

60. What do you say to a stubborn cow? Moooove it or lose it!

61. Where do cows get their medication from? Farmacy.

62. How can you make a cow invisible? By camooflaging!

63. Why steaks rate are so high? Because they were grazing in the marijuana fields.

64. Humans watch YouTube, cows watch? MooTube.

65. How do you get blue cheese? By breeding a cow and a smurf.

66. What do you call when two cows hate each other? They have beef with each other.

67. What does a cow say to her calf when seeing off? Bison.

68. What do you call a female cow? A diary queen.

69. What do you call a cow who jokes? Cowmedian.

70. What do you call a cow who twitches? Beef jerky.

76. Why do cows never have money? Because they're milked dry.

77. What do you call a cow who can part water? Moo-ses.

78. A cow that has just given birth is referred to as? De-calf-inated.

79. What does a tired cow say? I had a dairy day.

80. What to call a cow who has won a lottery? Cash cow.

81. What do you call cows who live happily together? Cowhabitation.

82. What do you call a cow who is out of milk? A dud cow.

83. How do you catch a runaway cow? With a lasso!

84. What did the judge say to the cow who stole a farmer's hay? You're guilty of grassing!

85. What do you call it when a cow jumps over the moon? A moooon shot!

86. What noise does a cow make when it defies the sound barrier? Cowboom.

87. How does a cow say thank you in Spanish? Moo-chas grass-ias.

88. What does a dwarf cow produce? Condensed milk.

89. What do you call a happy cow? A jolly rancher.

90. What will happen when all cows are let loose? It'll be udder chaos.

91. What does a cow says to her naughty calf? You're not amoosing!

92. What do you call a cow in a bad mood? Moody!

93. What do you call a cow who is eating grass? Lawn-mooer.

94. Why is it that Sweden doesn't export cattle? It wants its Stock-home.

95. What made the farmer furious with his cow? Her excuses were a bunch of bull.

96. What do you call a spotless cow? Moo-tant.

97. What does a cow say when surfing? Cowabunga!

98. What results from the pairing of a cow and a goat? A coat.

99. What kind of story does a cow tell her calf? A dairy tale story.

100. What do you call a cow whose life is in danger? Her life is at steak.

101. How do you identify a special cow? The one who is outstanding in her field.

103. What is a cow's favorite subject? Cow-culus!

104. What do a cow and a bull do on their first date? Moooovie and Dinner.

105. How does a cow laugh? M00-hahaha.

106. How should a cow be tucked in? In bull-sheet.

107. What do you call a lichen-covered Russian bovine? Moscow!

108. What happens when a calf behaves badly toward her mother? Her hide gets tanned.

109. What's a cow's favorite day? Moother day!

110. How do you keep track of your cows? By cattel-loging.

111. What's the cows' favorite song? Mooooove like jagger.

112. Why you can't lie to a cow? She can smell bull.

113. What do you call a bull you can't rely on? Unrelia-bull.

114. What did the cow on the hill say to the other cow? I'm udder-neath you.

115. Why are there just three legs on a milking stool? The cow has the udder one!

116. How do you describe cow milk? Udderly delicious.

117. Where do cows go for holiday? Moo-Zealand.

118. Why were there no cows in the field? They mooooved.

119. What beverage is a cow's favorite? Mountain Moo.

120. What does the female cow meat call? Miss-steak.

121. What prevents a cow from acting hastily? By taking stock of the situation first.

122. Why do cows never gain weight? They're grazers.

123. What do you call a spy cow? Cow-vert.

124. What is a cow who is an advocate called? Advocowte.

125. What does a bull in love say to a cow? I'm udderly in love with you.

126. Where do cows write their personal thoughts? In dairy.

127. Who do cows worship? Chee-sus!

128. What is the cows' favorite fruit? Cow-conut.

129. Where are all the decisions made on a dairy farm? At Cow-ncil hall.

130. Why are cows, great dancers? They have awesome moooves.

131. What did people say when a cow entered the church? Holy Cow!

132. Why does a painter always draw cows? They're his Moose.

133. Who oversees the dairy business operations? Cow-ptain.

134. How would you address a cow queen? Your Mooojesty!

135. What do you call a bad cow? Demoooon.

136. Why was a calf crying at school? He was bull-ied.

137. What kind of camera do cows use? Cow-non.

138. What do you call a rich cow? Moogule.

139. Where does a baby cow eat lunch? Calf-teria.

140. What type of meat do cows love? Bull-ogna.

Milk Puns

You can always find time to whip out one of your cow puns. Simply pull your carton out of the fridge, and you're raring to go! There is absolutely no point crying over spilled milk, so you might as well cheer everyone up with these hilarious puns!

141. This milk is udderly delicious.

142. I think I'm having de ja moo!

143. The milk's gone bad - it's enough to milk you sick.

144. It is no cow-incidence that milk makes you stronger.

145. How dair-y steal my milk!

146. I can't drink milk; I 'lactose' enzymes needed to digest it.

147. Not liking milk is a cream against nature!

148. I believe I drank bad milk. My gut is churning.

149. Where can astronauts purchase milk? Milkyway.

150. Where do people get their milk in Russia? From Moscow.

151. What do you call milk that is fake? Cow-nterfeit

Funny Sayings Related To Cows

152. You need to learn to respect other people's space... stop being such a cow!

153. You're always hanging around here like a lost calf!

154. I'm not saying that I don't like cows, but I'm not moo-tivated to spend time with them.

155. I tried to milk a cow once, but it didn't go very well. I was milking it for all it was worth, but it just wasn't giving any milk!

156. If we were both cows, would you be my udder half?

157. Are you made of condensed milk? Because you're looking sweet!

158. I'm not a fan of beef, but I'll always moo-ve for steak.

159. He can’t tell cow jokes because he’ll butcher it.

160. This party is off the hoof!

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Written by Josie Bergman

Josie Bergman picture

Josie Bergman

A London native with a passion for theater and music, Josie loves nothing more than getting lost in the vibrant world of the West End. With her family by her side, she can be found dancing to her favorite musicals and discovering new hidden gems across the city. Her older sister is a great resource for vegan dining recommendations, and Josie is always excited to explore new culinary adventures. When not in a theater seat or sampling new cuisine, she loves to visit the Victoria Palace Theatre and take in the sights and sounds of Borough Market.

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