70 Hair Puns That Are Side Splittingly Funny

Mina Frost
Jan 24, 2024 By Mina Frost
Originally Published on Oct 28, 2020
Edited by Isobel Murphy
Fact-checked by Isobel Murphy
Portrait of Mother and her son having natural curly hair
Age: 0-99
Read time: 8.6 Min

Funny hair puns are the ideal solution to cut through boredom.

Long hair jokes, short hair jokes, bad hair jokes, wig puns... We've got something to keep everyone entertained in this amazing collection of hair puns!

Hair is a fascinating part of the human body: next to bone marrow, hair is the fastest growing tissue in the body. It can grow between 0.3 and 0.5mm per day on average, which is about six inches a year! Hair can grow anywhere on the body except for the palms of your hands, the soles of your feet, and on lips and mucous membranes. Your hair is actually flexible: when it is wet, it can stretch out up to a third of its length and increase its diameter by up to 20%!

The average person has between 100,000 and 150,000 strands of hair on their scalp, so don't worry too much about losing a few strands. When a hair falls out, it most often re-grows; it can do so up to 20 times in a lifetime.

Hair is mostly made of keratin, which is also found on our skin and nails. Hair follicles start growing when we are only five months old, inside our mother's womb! When you are cold or scared, you can sometimes get goosebumps which is due to individual hair follicles contracting. You can find out a lot of information about someone just from analysing their hair: it's often used by forensic scientists to learn things about a person's bloodstream like what medicine, vitamins or other substances they consume.

Over the years, people have gotten really creative with haircuts and hairstyles. Some of the most famous hair styles include a fringe or bangs, a neat bob, or a pixie cut for shorter hair. If you have hair that reaches to your shoulders or longer, you might experiment and put it up in a bun, ponytail, plait or braid. People with very thick curly hair can style their hair into beautiful braids or let it grow. There are much wilder hair styles out there that some people love: a mullet, a mohican or a quiff are just a few examples. Haircuts can go wrong, resulting in some of the funniest haircuts out there; we wouldn't want to be in your shoes if this happens to you!

Black is the most common hair color around the world, while red hair is only present in about 1% of the world's population and blonde hair in 2% of the population. Dyeing hair is not a new concept, but modern hair dye has also come a long way since its origins - in Ancient Rome women used to dye their hair blonde with pigeon poo!

Even if you are having a bad hair day or you've spotted a split end, this collection of hair puns is the best solution to get you to love your hair again!

If you are after more lists of the best puns, take a look at these art puns that paint a funny picture, or for something different try these clown puns that are too funny for words!

Funny Puns About Hair

A female blows bubble from chewing gum

Jokes about hair are the most hair-larious thing you will read today!

1. I tried everything to make my hair curly, but it didn't work - I was so fru-straight-ed!

2. The accident was a really close shave, their lives could have been cut short.

3. We were interviewing for the newest member of the hair force, but no one made the cut.

4. If you want to groom a cat, you have to use a catacomb.

5. I know a few million-hairs who made their money by cutting very good deals.

6. They've made a spinoff of the 007 movies for hairdressers, it's called James Blond.

7. Hold on, this salon looks familiar - I think I've been hair before!

8. I went for a walk to the hair salon, I needed a breath of fresh hair.

9. I've got a bad haircut and do you know what, I could not hair less.

10. My date cancelled at the last minute, so now I'm all dressed up with no hair to go.

11. My brother is about to cut your hair, so if I were you, I'd be hairy afraid!

12. I heard you're in distress because you got a bad haircut; don't worry, I always shave the day!

13. I bought a pair of hair scissors, they were second hand but they are in tip top conditioner.

14. I got a wild haircut this morning, just for the gel of it.

15. I got some hair jewellery yesterday because you know what they say, diamonds are a curl's best friend.

16. I've never done this hair cut before but I'll give it a curl.

17. I have a lot on my plate, but I went to the hairdresser and just brushed my worries away.

18. There was a really rude man in my hair salon today so I told him "I'm sorry sir, I'm afraid I moustache you to leave."

19. Rest a sheared I will not cut your hair too short!

Hilarious Hairdresser Puns

These amazing hair puns are just the right thing for anyone who is having a bad hair day.

20. The hairdresser's client didn't come in for their haircut, but she wasn't upset because that shaved her a lot of time.

21. My hairdresser is the funniest person I know, he's just so hair-larious.

22. What did the hairdresser say to someone attacking them? I'm too young to dye!

23. No matter what the situation is with your hairdresser, I'm sure it can be straightened out.

24. My hairdresser almost got arrested, she had a brush with the law.

25. I was in a hurry so my hairdresser had to do a bit of a brush job.

26. I was in a relationship with a hairdresser but we broke up; I guess all good things must comb to an end.

27. My hairdresser asked if I would donate my hair, but I think that's a wig ask.

28. My hairdresser is the best there is, he's just a cut above the rest.

29. If I take you to the hairdresser with me, promise me you will beehive.

30. My hairdresser cancelled my appointment today, she said she had a lot on her plait.

31. My hairdresser asked me for a big favour because he's in a tight cornrow right now.

32. When you're a hairdresser, the dye's the limit.

33. Because her last client didn't show up, the hairdresser's day was cut short.

34. Barbers also make excellent cab drivers because they know every short cut in town.

35. My hairdresser tells me all these stories about the hairy situations she gets herself in, but I expect she always adds a twist for effect.

36. A hairdresser's favourite sport is curling.

37. I need to go to the hairdresser's to catch some greys.

38. Being a hairdresser is great, the job comes with amazing fringe benefits.

39. You've worked so hard to be a hairdresser, I hope your labour bears root.

40. The training week for hairdressers is called root camp.

41. My hairdresser is really mysterious and won't reveal any of his techniques: he keeps them under dreadlock and key.

42. I really wanted to take the job as a hairdresser, but they just put in too many condition-ers.

43. I'm friends with a hairdresser but it's difficult to have a proper conversation with him because he always cuts them short.

44. I can't fulfill my dream of becoming a hairdresser because I have dye-betes.

45. It's difficult to get an appointment with my hairdresser, her calendar is always full to the trim.

46. Hairdressers have good instincts, they can follow their cut.

47. I've been to the hairdresser's and now I look very trim and proper.

48. Every morning the hairdresser wakes up, bright and curly.

49. My hairdresser is very good with her money, she always shaves some for later.

50. I opened up to my hairdresser because you know what they say, a problem sheared is a problem halved.

51. My hairdresser put way too much conditioner in my hair and now I look like a mousse.

53. I got married to my hairdresser; we are a match pomade in heaven.

54. My hairdresser tried to blame everything on me but honestly, it takes two to tangle.

55. My hairdresser only ever writes with a bald point pen.

56. Don't get on the wrong side of my hairdresser, he can really hair a grudge.

57. Two hairdressers I know just got married: they live in peace and hair-mony.

58. My hairdresser was put in jail because he was charged with hair-rassment.

Funny Haircut Jokes

These funny haircut puns are ideal entertainment for kids who love to laugh!

59. I was about to get a really crazy haircut, but I decided to mullet over first.

60. She just needs to come to perms with the fact that she has curly hair now.

61. My last haircut will be a fringe, because I want to go out with a bang.

62. Being a hairdresser is a good way to get rich quiff.

63. This new series about haircuts it's so good, I've been fringe watching it.

64. Hairdressers have a yearly dance off called a flash bob.

65. You said I might know your hairdresser but his name does not ring a gel.

66. She came back with a perm: I was lost 'fro words.

67. My hairdresser just asked me if I would like to comb over tonight.

Wise Hair Sayings

These words were written by wise people, but they come with a bit of a twist! We think they are some of the funniest hair jokes around.

68. All that glitters is not bald.

69. I comb, I saw, I conquered.

70. We had a hair cutting competition and I won, hair and square.

Here at Kidadl, we have carefully created lots of great family-friendly puns for everyone to enjoy! If you liked our suggestions for hair puns that are side splittingly funny, then why not take a look at these hat puns that will make kids laugh, or for something different take a look at these water riddles that are sea-riously puzzling.

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Written by Mina Frost

Bachelor of Arts specializing in Linguistics, Master of Arts specializing in Investigative Reporting

Mina Frost picture

Mina FrostBachelor of Arts specializing in Linguistics, Master of Arts specializing in Investigative Reporting

Based in London, Mina enjoys discovering novel activities, places, and adventures to fill her days with. She has a Bachelor's degree in Linguistics from the University of Cambridge and a Masters's degree in Investigative Reporting from the Birbeck, University of London. Alongside this, she has a keen interest in children's literature and regularly shares her passion for culture with the children she babysits, making sure to keep up-to-date with the latest family movies, plays, and exhibitions. Having traveled extensively throughout Europe and beyond, Mina has a deep appreciation for exploring new locations and making new connections with people from all walks of life.

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