115 Medical Puns That Will Have You Aching With Laughter | Kidadl


115 Medical Puns That Will Have You Aching With Laughter

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Medical puns are a great way to tickle your funny bone.

Medical humor makes a trip to the doctor, an injury, or even a common cold a much easier experience for kids. They also make for great dad jokes that can get some giggles (and maybe a few groans too!).

So, if you want to tell some hilarious medical puns or even teach medical puns to your kids check out this article. The puns also make great text inside "a get well soon" card. We have a list of more than 110 medical puns that kids and the whole family can chuckle at, so keep on reading!

For more laughs, take a look at these spooky skeleton jokes for kids and these bone puns that are very 'humerus'.

Medical Puns About Organs

Medical puns are funny because they use wordplay to make us laugh.

Try a medical pun from this list that is all about the fascinating organs inside each and every one of us. Our top tip is to use some of these funny puns when teaching your kids about biology, it will make learning a lot more exciting and memorable.

1. I went to the library to get a medical book on abdominal pain. Somebody had ripped the appendix out.

2. Two blood vessels fell in love but alas, it was all in vein.

3. An organ's favourite boat is a blood vessel.

4. Why do your heart, liver and lungs all fit in your body? Because they are well organized

5. For years I was against organ transplants. Then I had a change of heart .

6. The angry brain lost its nerve!

7. Statistically, nine out of ten injections are in vein.

8. What did the vein say to the pessimistic blood clot? Be positive.

9. When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble!

10. You can hear the blood in your veins if you listen varicosely.

11. We be-lung together!

12. When neurons commit a crime, they are put in a nerve cell.

13. A kidney's favorite instrument is the organ.  

14. If you steal someone’s heart, do you get cardiac arrested?

15. The brain is an amazing organ. It really makes you think

16. It takes some guts to be an organ donor.

17. The kidney said to the other "urine my thoughts!"

18. A brain goes on vacation to a hippo-camp-us!

19. A cardiologist keeps sending me x-rays of his chest. A bit weird I know but shows his heart is in the right place.

20. When the lung fell in love it took its breath away.  

21. What do your organs do on your birthday? They cell-ebrate!

22. You know, the heart is the hungriest organ. It has the heartiest appetite.

Surgery Puns

Going into surgery can be pretty daunting, especially for kids. These surgery funny medical puns can make it a bit more lighthearted.

23. Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

24. Why should you trust the surgeons who are repairing your slipped disk? Because they have your back!

25. Two surgeons were joking so much they had each other in stitches!

26. What was Zeus' specialty in medical school? Surge-ery

27. "This surgical knife isn't sharp,"the doctor said bluntly.

28. I just had a successful liver transplant operation. That surgeon really de-livered!

29. I asked a surgeon if he could give me something for my liver, he gave me half a pound of onions.

30. Conversations between brain surgeons can be mind numbing.

31. He was wheeled into the operating room, and then had a change of heart.

32. Before surgery, the nurse put the IV in my right hand, so I started texting from my left. She said, "Wow! How can you do that?" I said: "I'm ambi-textrous."

Anatomy Puns

Our bodies are absolutely amazing. We can push boundaries and do so much with them. Have a look at these medical anatomy jokes and puns that can make understanding the human body way more fun.

33. Legs are hereditary. They run in your jeans!

34. The nose is in the middle of the face because it is the scent-er!

35. Urine: the opposite of ‘you’re out.’

36. If you're not laughing maybe you need to learn the anatomy of the joke.

37. Which part of your body likes to drink milk? Your calf!

38. If you hurt your foot while driving, call a toe-truck.

39. Eyes make dedicated teachers because they only have one pupil.

Puns For If You're Under The Weather

We all get a little bit sick from time to time and it can make us a bit down in the dumps. Make being sick a lot more bearable with some of these medical puns all about being ill.

40. How can you tell if a bucket is not well? When it is a little pale.

41. I had a gut feeling I had food poisoning.

42. When the cat was sick it wasn't feline well!

43. A little joke when you're sick never hurt antibody.

44. All these medical puns. They make me sick!

45. Conjunctivitis.com — that’s a site for sore eyes.

46. The plague, the flu, and common cold walk into the room. I asked, "What is this? Some kind of sick joke?".

47. What did one tonsil say to the other tonsil? "Did you hear? The doctor's taking us out tonight."

48. What do you give a sick pig? Oink-ment!

49. I woke up this morning coughing badly, think I may have pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis, but it’s hard to say.

50. I thought I had a good joke about a contagious disease but I was wrong. It didn't go viral.

51. The computer sneezed because it had a virus.

52. How can you tell if a mummy has a cold? He starts coffin.

53. The bacteria posted a video online hoping it would go viral.

54. How did the bread feel when it was put in the toaster? It burned up!

55. I have a joke about the flu but I hope you don't get it.

56. The sick pig went to the hospital in a ham-bulance!

57. What do you give a sick lemon? Lemon-aid!

58. What sickness does a martial artist have? Kung FLU!

59. The fastest thing on your face is your nose. It’s always running.

60. I once heard a joke about amnesia, but I forgot how it goes.

Doctor, Nurse And Hospital Puns

There comes a time, every once in awhile, where we need to take a trip to the doctor or the hospital. It can be scary for kids but these amusing puns can brighten up the visit. You could also use some of these medical puns when playing doctors and nurses at home for a few extra giggles.

61. A doctor gets mad when it runs out of patients!

62. The cookie went to the hospital because it was feeling crummy!

63. The most common operation in a hospital made out of LEGO is plastic surgery!

64. Why do nurses bring red markers to work? Just in case they need to draw blood.

65. What do you call a fish with a medical degree? A Sturgeon.

66. The medical student failed anatomy because she just couldn't cut it.

67. The beekeeper went to the doctor because she had hives.

68. The frog went to the hospital to have a hop-eration!

69. Where do horses go when they're sick? The horsepital.

70. What did the doctor give the sick snake? Asp-irin!

71. Never lie to an X-ray technician. They can see right through you.

72. I had to wait ages for my X-ray today at the hospital. There was only a skeleton staff working.

73. A friend of mine made so many rash decisions that he became a dermatologist.

74. Where do ghosts go when they're sick? To the witch doctor!

75. Doctor, Doctor! My son just swallowed a roll of film! Let’s hope nothing develops!

76. I tried playing hide and seek in the hospital, but they kept finding me in the ICU.

77. Let's take the bird to the hospital for some tweetment!

78. Nurse: Wow, that cut looks terrible. Do you want me to stitch it up ? Me: No, thanks. Nurse: Fine, suture self.

79. I went on a date with a Cardio Nurse and my heart was racing the whole time.

80. What do you call an alligator's nurse? Gator-aid.

81. I've got this awful disease where I can't stop telling airport puns. The doctor says it's terminal.

82. The banana went to the hospital because it was not peeling well.

83. Why are pediatricians always agitated? Because they have little patients!

84. A patient came to the ER with a rash.  She was really itching to get out of here.

85. Nurse: What’s the condition of the boy who swallowed a quarter?  Doctor: No change yet!

86. Where did the duck go when he felt sick? To the ducktor.

87. What music do eye doctors prefer? iTunes.

88. You must go to the foot doctor to get heeled!

Medical One Liners

Try telling one of the side-splitting medical jokes and puns that are guaranteed to get some giggles.

89. I don’t find medical puns funny anymore since I began suffering from an irony deficiency

90. I don’t understand what the point of acupuncture is!

91. Dentists always get to the root of the problem.

92. I went to medical school with an incredibly ambitious guy who was obsessed with collecting skulls; he'd do anything to get a head.

93. A chiropractor's favorite music genre is Hip Pop!

94. Dogs can’t operate an MRI machine but CAT-scan.

95. Bad medical puns are hard to stomach.

96. Optometry puns just keep getting cornea!

97. I have a patient who is very rude. He's ill-mannered.

98. It’s going tibia OK!

Medicine Puns

Our list of medical puns would not be complete without puns about medicine. These medicine jokes make any pill that much easier to swallow!

99. What do you call frozen Ibuprofen? A chill pill.

100. Why can't you leave painkillers near a bird cage? Because the paracetamol.

111. Why don’t yogurt and medicine get along? One is probiotic, and the other is antibiotic!

112. Be quiet inside a pharmacy, you might wake the sleeping pills!

113. One problem with antibiotics is that no matter how popular it gets, it’s never going viral.

114. Why did they take paracetamol to prison? It's a pain killer.

115. A pharmacist gave the wrong prescription, which was a bitter pill to swallow.

Here at Kidadl, we have carefully created lots of great family-friendly jokes, puns and riddles for everyone to enjoy! If you liked our suggestions for medical puns that will have you aching with laughter then why not take a look at 55 best doctor doctor jokes sure to cause a case of the giggles, or for something different take a look at The 40 Funniest New Year Jokes For Kids.

Written By
Danielle Outen

Danielle was born and raised in London but has travelled all over the world chasing waves. Her mum is one of ten siblings, so she has always been surrounded by a massive network of family. Danielle is always looking for new and fun activities to do with her relatives. If it is outdoors and adventurous - even better!

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