42 Best Lettuce Puns

In search of fresh vegetable puns?

We're so glad you "lettuce" know! We've put together a list of the best salad puns we could find, just for you.

Life may well have you in a bit of a spin, so let our list of vegetable jokes take your mind off things. "Leaf" whatever you're doing and come enjoy some funny salad jokes with our list of hilarious lettuce-related puns

Lettuce may not be what comes to mind when you think of jokes, but this green leafy vegetable can be surprisingly fun. It's been around for over 6000 years; there are even hieroglyphs showing it was grown in Ancient Egypt.

Ancient Greeks also grew lettuce, and believed eating it made you sleepy. Now you've got a perfect excuse next time you're feeling a little drowsy. Just say it's because of all that healthy lettuce you've been eating.

These days, lettuce is the second-most popular fresh veggie in the US behind potatoes. Since lots of places now think of potatoes as a starch, it may even count as the most popular.

Statistics show that the average American eats a whopping 30kg of lettuce a year. "Lettuce" see anyone can beat that! Did you know that lettuce belongs to the same family of plants as sunflowers, artichokes and chamomile?

Talk about a mixed salad. Most lettuces grow in a similar shape to a cabbage, known as a "head", while others grow as loose leaves.

Romaine Lettuce Puns

These silly puns about romaine lettuce will "bowl" you over "cos" they're just that funny.

1. A truck carrying salad vegetables tipped over on the highway. The police asked everyone to romaine calm.

2. A man went to watch a vegetable beauty pageant. "I wonder who'll win," he said to the person next to him. "Romaines to be seen," his neighbor replied.

3. This pile of leaves told us it was spinach but it turned out to be romaine. It lettuce to the wrong conclusion.

4. Caesar salads are really good at division. They can always find the romaine-der.

5. Vegetable history lessons are very interesting. They learn all about the Caesar and Romaine Empire.

6. A man got his girlfriend a bouquet made of lettuce. She thought it was very romaine-tic.

7. Everyone says the romaine is very kind. He's really got a big heart.

8. I saw a lettuce paddling a boat. It was a row-maine.

Iceberg Lettuce Puns

What do you call a list of iceberg puns? Cool, of course!

9. A butterhead and an iceberg lettuce found themselves in the same fridge drawer. "It's your call" said the butterhead. "What should we do?" "Lettuce be friends," said the iceberg.

10. Never float the Titanic in a salad. It might hit an iceberg.

11. A group of lettuces ate at a restaurant and left a big pile of coins as a tip for their server. The last lettuce carefully put one dollar bill on top of the pile. It was the tip of the iceberg.

12. The captain of the Titanic was very confused to see a huge, wilted head of lettuce floating in the middle of the ocean. There was an iceberg dead ahead.

13. There was an ecologist rushing up and down the salad aisle in the grocery store this morning. She was worried about all the icebergs vanishing. I told her to get romaine instead.

14. An iceberg got promoted to be in charge of salads. He was the head of lettuce.

15. I asked my server why there was a polar bear standing in my salad. He said it was my fault for ordering iceberg.

Salad Puns

Share these salad jokes with your friends for a healthy sense of humor.

16. Call and lettuce know if you can make it to the salad eating contest.

17. The server asked a man what kind of lettuce he wanted in his salad. He asked for all of them. He wanted to leaf his options open.

18. A man put some lettuce, tomato and cucumber in front of a chicken and asked it what it saw. "Chicken sees a salad," he wrote.

19. A frisée lettuce was the DJ at the tomato's birthday party. "Lettuce, turnip the beet," the tomato said.

20. A lettuce and a bottle of tomato sauce had a race. The lettuce was a-head and the tomato sauce was trying to ketchup.

21. My friend tried to send some shredded lettuce and tomato to his mom. He took it to the post office, stuffed it all in one blank envelope, sealed it and handed it to the postal worker. "You can't send a salad like this," she said. "It needs a-dressing!"

22. I made a shrimp caesar salad this morning. The ungrateful prawn won't even eat it.

Good Lettuce Puns

Lettuce know if you've got any more leaf jokes.

23. A lettuce went on vacation, but didn't call to ask her boss if she could take time off. She was absent without leaf.

24. Lettuces make great detectives. They leaf no stone unturned.

25. A cop was chasing an escaping lettuce. At last, he caught it by its leaves. "You're collard, greens!" he shouted. "No I'm not," said the lettuce crossly. "I'm arugula, if you must ask."

26. I found astronauts in my fridge. They were trying to get into the rocket.

27. Some leafy vegetables went to visit their friends at home. They knocked on the door, but no-one answered. "Lettuce in!" they shouted.

28. The arugula was stuck on its homework. The butterhead came over to help, because two heads are better than one.

29. No matter how many people entered, the lettuce always won the bodybuilding contest. He started a-head and ended up totally shredded.

30. A server was checking what dressings people wanted with their salad. The lettuce wanted to be a cowboy, so he asked for ranch.

31. A lettuce was trying to lay carpet in its new house. It was a-rug-ula.

32. A newspaper was interviewing a lettuce on how she'd become a CEO. She said she knew how to get a-head.

33. The lettuce was running late. She got all of a spin-ach.

Vegetable Puns

Tasty jokes about spinach, salad and various other veggies that may well make you "cress" up with laughter.

34. We asked for directions from a bag of spinach, and we ended up really lost. He lettuce down the wrong path.

35, All the vegetables went to church as usual on Sunday, but the pastor was off with a headache. The replacement looked around in confusion at the church full of salad. "Lettuce pray," he said.

36. A lettuce took a road trip. She went to Kale-ifornia.

37. We lost our rabbit in the grocery store this morning. If you see him, lettuce know.

38. The endive was very upset because the spinach leaves kept asking it personal questions. It was the spinach inquisition.

39. A truck load of lettuce got delivered to the grocery store. The manager came out and saw the workers tipping up boxes and icebergs and endives about to spill everywhere. "Careful how you carry those, or heads will roll!" she said.

40. A piece of celery kept following a lettuce everywhere it went. Eventually the lettuce got mad. "Why are you stalk-ing me?" it asked.

41. A lettuce and a tomato went on a date. They went to the salad bar.

42. Some root vegetables had plans with some salad. The salad was taking forever to get ready, so the root vegetables started to get worried. "Please," they said. "Lettuce turnip on time!"