90 Best Vegan Jokes That Only Vegans Will Appreciate

Rajnandini Roychoudhury
Dec 12, 2023 By Rajnandini Roychoudhury
Originally Published on Dec 11, 2020
Edited by Monisha Kochhar
Composition with assorted raw organic vegetables

If you're considering going vegan, this list of jokes for vegans should easily meat your expectations.

People who decide to go vegan generally describe veganism more as a lifestyle, than a fad or a health trend. Many people consciously become vegan to show their objection towards animal cruelty.  

People who are vegan solely consume foods that do not include dairy, eggs, meat, or any other animal products and only includes a plant-based diet. This comprehensive list includes a variety of silly food jokes, salad jokes, tofu jokes, vegetarian jokes, funny vegan jokes, lettuce jokes, and tomato jokes.

We hope you have a great time leafing through this article!

If you're interested in reading other articles with puns and jokes, you should head over to Potato puns and jokes, Vegan Puns or Avocado Puns.

Vegan Jokes

People who are interested in food-related jokes should try reading vegan thanksgiving jokes. They can be a riot during family dinners and they can also provide you with great vegan meme material. You can easily find a vegan joke to love in this list of jokes, which are not cheesy at all.

1. Why are vegan jokes healthy? They're not cheesy at all.

2. What do zombies eat as a vegan breakfast? Grains.

3. What is a heated discussion between a bunch of vegan people called?  Plant-based beef.

4.Why did the woman's friends get worried after she went vegan? It felt like they'd never met herbivore.

5. Why was the vegan person removed from his post? He didn't meat his employer's requirements.

6. Why was the vegan person always involved in arguments? She had a habit of getting into corn-frontations.

7. What do you call a Viking who turns vegan? Norvegan.

8. What did the vegan say to his friend when he accidentally ate meat? "It was a meat-steak!"

9. Why did they only serve vegan food at the high school football game? It was full of pro-teens.

10. What did the vegan person say to the waiter who got him a cake with egg in it? "Bring me a vegan cake- no egg-scuses!"

11. What did the vegan man say to the fruit when he was hungry? Man-go and get me some good food.

12. What did the woman say to the DJ at the vegan festival? Can you turnip the sick beets?

13. What did the vegan pacifist say when the chef forgot to add peas to the soup at the buffet? All I want is peas for everyone.

14. How did a woman suddenly realize she wanted to go vegan? She got a wake-up kale.

15. Why did the vegan not take the job at the grocery store? He thought the celery was insufficient.

16. How did the vegan interpret what the basil was saying? She could easily pick up on non-vherbal cues.

17. What did the vegan say when her friend asked if she had prepared anything for dinner? "I haven't plant anything yet."

18. Why did the vegan girl rush into the supermarket? She didn't want to wait lentil the sale on vegan food ended.

19. Why was the vegan grocer so exhausted? He had to haul a load of emotional cabbage.

20. What was a vegan who was sad all the time called by his friends? Meloncholy.

21. Why was the girlfriend of the vegan man lucky? Her ring was worth a lot of carrots.

22. Why was the vegan dog dissatisfied with his afternoon snack? He couldn't really eat animal crackers.

23. Why did the newlywed vegan couple face bankruptcy? Neither of them wanted to bring home the bacon.

24. Why was the mom upset at her vegan son? He spent the entire day playing Kale of Duty.

25. What did the woman say to her vegan friend after a long talk? "I'm so glad we had this corn-versation. "

26. Why was the vegan man such a good monk? He knew how to romaine calm even in tough situations.

27. Why was the vegan girl so much happier after she started drinking vegetable smoothies? She felt more up-beet.

28. What did the vegan man say when he was planning his road trip to avocado farms? "I do not avocado."

29. What did the vegan man say when he saw his friend eating beef and bean stew? I've bean there before.

30. How many vegans does it take to make a mushroom soup? Only a few because there isn't mushroom in the kitchen.

31. Why is it silly for two vegans to argue? They're not allowed to have beef.

32. Why didn't the detective investigate the murder of the vegan chickpea any further? He declared it to be hummus-cide.

33. How does the man cheat on his vegan lifestyle? He makes sure to have a bit of meat time on weekends.

34. How many vegans does it take to change a lightbulb?  Two, because one changes the lightbulb, while the other asks how you get your protein.

35. What did one vegan say to another when they met at a steakhouse? We can't meat like this.

36. What happened to the vegan man who worshipped the devil? He gave his soul over to seitan.

37. Why were so many vegans crossing the road? They were going to the chicken protest.

38. What do you call a vegan who doesn't have dairy products? Lactose intolerant.

39. How many vegans does it take to change a lightbulb? One, because none of them are scared of supernatural creatures in the dark.

40.  What is the name of Bruce Lee's vegan brother? Brocco Lee.

41.  How do I know that you replaced your family's vegan milk provider? I soya do it.

42. Why was the vegan woman afraid of becoming an astronaut? She didn't like the idea of meateorites.

43. How do vegans quit veganism? They do it cold turkey.

45. How do you kill a vampire who's become vegan? You insert a steak in his heart.

46. Why did the alien not eat the burger? It was from a black hole, so it wasn't plant-based.

47. Why didn't the DJ ever consider going vegan? He would always drop the beet.

48. Why didn't the investor want to go vegan? He was putting too much at stake.

49. How did the vegan priest start sermon? Lettuce pray to the almighty.

50. What did the man say when the vegan talked about disgusting butchers? "I think vegetable sellers are grocer."

Vegetable Jokes

Assortment of fresh fruits and vegetables.

These vegetable jokes will work as great substitutes for people who might be looking for vegetarian jokes or a vegan joke. Funny jokes about food transcend all lifestyles, so whether you're a vegan, a pescatarian, or a vegetarian, these vegetable jokes will surely surprise you!

51. How did the class miss the tomato being embarrassed? They didn't notice him turn red.

52. Why did the comedian go hungry most nights? He ended up roasting the vegetables.

53. What condiment should you avoid going near? Horseradish, because you might get a kick out of it.

54. What friends are useful while eating a new vegetable? Taste buds.

55. What vegetable should you never take on a boat? A leek.

56. What do you call a potato's baby? Tater tot.

57. Where does the cabbage go every night to relax? The salad bar.

58.What do chickens grow in their backyard? Eggplants.

59. What vegetable won the race? The runner bean.

60. How was the food cooked by the root vegetable? It was surprisingly rad-ish.

61. Why were the grains so worried? They had found a cropycat amongst them.

62. Why are vegans worried about eating a plant-based diet? They don't want any issues to crop up.

63. What did the leek ask the bean? "So-ya bean up to a lot recently?"

64. What did the Spinach say to his wife on their first anniversary? I leaf you a lot.

65. What did the head pumpkin say to his partner before the match? We need to squash the competition.

66. What did the radish say when he found out about the theft in the company? "Let's find the root of this problem."

67. What did the kale say to his father when he barged in on his dance party? Please don't kale my vibe.

68. What did the radish say to his wife when she got all dressed up for Christmas? You look radish-ing.

69. What did the tomato ask the kidney bean when they met after months? How you bean?

70. What happened when the celery embarrassed himself before everyone? He became a laughing stalk.

Fruit Jokes

Want fresh fruits and some good fruit puns? Since many vegans love to munch on fruits during snack time, we thought it would be a good option to include some fruity jokes in this list. People might get a vegan joke from here:

71. What did the pear say to his wife when she was feeling low? I think you're pear-fect.

72. How does the peach work out on most days? He goes hard core.

73. Why did both the mangoes in the mango couple sign up for dance classes? It takes two to mango.

74. What did the watermelon say to the strawberry when she helped him with his project? Thanks a melon!

75. What did the orange say to his team to motivate them? You guys need to squeeze the day as it comes.

76. What did the apple say to a lemon he admired? I love your zest for life.

77. Why was the grape's wife annoyed with him? He was being un-raisin-able.

78. What did one olive say to his mother when he wished her on mother's day? Olive you so much.

79. Who do all the fruits call when they need to have a pipe repaired? They call a plum-ber.

80. What did the apple's father tell him when he saw a pear troubling his son? Honey, you don't have to fall under pear-pressure.

Tofu Jokes

Tofu is a great option if you want to get your protein from a vegan source. If you have friends who are vegans that love tofu, you should send them a couple of these jokes for fun!

Tofu is an extremely popular food item not just among vegans, but also in the South-Asian subcontinent. Here's a list of some good tofu jokes for you to enjoy!

81. Why was the tofu crossing the busy intersection? Because everyone expected him to chicken out.

82. What did my brother realize over the weekend? It a-curd to him that tofu was a great substitute for meat.

83. What happened when the grocery store stopped stocking tofu? My wife lost her tempeh.

84. Why was the homeless man so grateful that someone had given him tofu to eat? It was better than his usual dinner, which was generally nofu.

85. Why didn't the man like anyone making jokes about tofu? He thought it was tasteless.

86. What did the soybean learn at the martial arts academy? Tofu.

87. What did the tofu tell his son to motivate him to do volunteer work? You can do soy much to make this world better.

88. Why did everyone think the tofu was really argumentative? He just needed to have the final soy in every matter.

89. What did the man say when he saw his friend crying over his failed tofu dish? Don't be soy sad.

90. What did the woman say to her friend who swore that she would never eat tofu again? Never soy never.

Here at Kidadl, we have carefully created lots of great family-friendly jokes for everyone to enjoy! If you liked our suggestions for 90 Best Vegan Jokes then why not take a look at vegetarian jokes or 65 Best Plant Jokes That You'll Be Very Frond Of.

We Want Your Photos!
We Want Your Photos!

We Want Your Photos!

Do you have a photo you are happy to share that would improve this article?
Email your photos

More for You

See All

Written by Rajnandini Roychoudhury

Bachelor of Arts specializing in English, Master of Arts specializing in English

Rajnandini Roychoudhury picture

Rajnandini RoychoudhuryBachelor of Arts specializing in English, Master of Arts specializing in English

With a Master of Arts in English, Rajnandini has pursued her passion for the arts and has become an experienced content writer. She has worked with companies such as Writer's Zone and has had her writing skills recognized by publications such as The Telegraph. Rajnandini is also trilingual and enjoys various hobbies such as music, movies, travel, philanthropy, writing her blog, and reading classic British literature. 

Read full bio >