100 Hilarious Christmas Cracker Jokes For Kids
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Christmas crackers and the hilarious jokes inside are a staple for any Christmas dinner.
You may be making your own Christmas crackers this year and need some giggle-worthy Christmas jokes. Or perhaps last year your jokes about Christmas weren't exactly the best and you want to make sure the Christmas jokes you tell this year are a total hoot.
Whatever your reason, we have listed 100 sidesplitting jokes on Christmas. Keep reading this article, you're bound to have a chuckle. Get into the festive spirit and spread the joy and Christmas cheer by cracking up your friends and family with this selection of jokes!
Puns
A pun Christmas joke is bound to infuse the holidays with laughter. A pun is a play on words that is witty and hilarious. These clever "punny" jokes work a treat inside Christmas crackers or over Christmas dinner for an extra giggle or two.
1. Your presents is requested!
2. Yule be sorry!
3. A round of Santa-plause
4. Clause all of me, loves all of you!
5. Santa cleans his sleigh with Santa-tiser.
6. That look soots you!
7. I have the final sleigh
8. You're sleigh-ing it!
9. Believe in your elf!
10. Don't be elfish!
11. Get the elf outta here!
12. I'm elf-taught
13. Let's take an elfie!
14. Deer to dream
15. But wait, there's myrrh!
16. Hold on for deer life.
17. How rude-olph of you!
18. Make it rein!
19. Oh deer!
20. Don't stop, be-leaf-ing.
21. Fir sure!
22. We're orna-meant to be!
23. You have to branch out.
24. Your Christmas decorations are tremendous.
25. I love you from head to mistle-toe!
26. It's the most pun-derful time of the year.
27. Mary and Joseph had a stable relationship.
28. When Santa's in the room, you can sense his presents.
Question And Answer Jokes
Telling a question and answer joke would ensure your Christmas is a blast. The classic format for jokes are a staple for your Christmas cracker. They also make for a fun Christmas activity. Try asking the question part to your kids to see if they can figure out the answer!
29. What goes ho ho whoosh, ho ho whoosh? Santa caught in a revolving door!
30. What do they sing at a snowman's birthday party? Freeze a jolly good fellow!
31. What do you get if you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite!
32. What happened to the guy who stole an advent calendar? He got 25 days!
33. What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck? A Christmas quacker!
34. Why did Santa's little helper see the doctor? he had low "elf" esteem!
35. What do you get if you cross a Christmas bell with a skunk? Jingle smells!
36. Who is Santa's favourite singer? Elf-is Presley!
37. What does a snowman eat for breakfast? Snowflakes!
38. What happens if you eat Christmas decorations? You get Tinisilitis!
39. Who hides in the bakery at Christmas? A Mince spy!
40. Why did the turkey join the band? Because it had drumsticks!
41. Why do mummies love Christmas? Because there is tonnes of wrapping!
42. What do you call Santa's little helpers? Subordinate clauses!
43. What does a grumpy sheep say at Christmas? Baaaa humbug!
44. What's the best Christmas present ever? A drum, you can't beat it!
45. What goes "OH OH OH"? Santa walking backwards!
46. What do you call an old snowman? Water!
47. What's white and goes up? A confused snowman!
48. What is white and minty?A polo bear!
49. What do you call Santa when he stops moving? A Santa pause!
50. Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas? Santa jaws!
51. What do you call a snowman who goes on holiday in the Caribbean? A puddle!
52. What do snowmen like to do at the weekend? Chill out!
53. What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney? Claustrophobia!
54. What do you get if you cross Santa with a detective? Santa Clues!
55. How does a snowman get to work? By icicle!
56. Who delivers gifts to cats? Santa paws!
57. What do monkeys sing at Christmas? Jungle bells!
58. What’s every elf’s favorite type of music? Wrap
59. Why can't the Christmas tree stand up? It doesn't have legs
60. Who is Santa’s favorite actor? Willem Dafoe-ho-ho
61. Who tells the best Christmas jokes? Reindeer. They sleigh every time
62. What do elves do after school?Their gnome work!
63. Where do you find reindeer? It depends on where you leave them!
64. Who is a Christmas tree’s favorite singer? Spruce Springsteen
65. What do you get if Santa goes down the chimney when a fire is lit? Crisp Kringle
66. Why is the turkey never hungry at Christmas? It's stuffed
67. What does Santa use to bake cakes? Elf-raising flour
68. Why did the choir have to cancel their carol concert? They caught tinsel-itis
69. What is the duck's favourite Christmas carol? In The Beak Midwinter
70. How did the ornament get addicted to Christmas? He was hooked on trees his whole life
71. Why are Santa's reindeer allowed to travel on Christmas Eve? They have herd immunity.
72. What does Santa spend his wages on? Jingle Bills
73. What do Santa's little helpers learn at school? The elf-abet.
74. Why did Mary and Joseph have to travel to Bethlehem? Because they couldn't book a home delivery.
75. What do you call a penguin in the Sahara desert? Lost
76. Why has Santa been banned from sooty chimneys? Carbon footprints
77. Which of Santa's reindeer has the best moves? Dancer!
One-Liners
A one-liner is what it says on the tin. It is a funny and clever remark that is one line long. One-liners go down a treat in Christmas crackers so take a look at some of the most hysterical Christmas one-liners around!
78. Christmas trees are fond of the past because they have presents beneath them.
79. There are two snowmen standing next to each other, one turns to the other and says "don't know about you, but all I can smell is carrots!"
80. You came, you ate, now time to go HO-HO-HOME!
81. Dear Santa, I can explain....
82. There are 364 days until Christmas and people already have their lights up!
83. There's nothing like the joy on a child's face when he tears the Christmas wrapping to find a PlayStation box filled with socks!
84. Why can Santa deliver presents to the whole world in one night, but the post office takes four weeks to deliver my post?
85. Santa is not allowed down chimneys this year, it was declared unsafe by elf and safety.
86. If Santa ran out of money, would he be Saint Nickel-less?
87. Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas!
88. Dear Christmas carolers, the only thing that will bring "joy to the world" is a "silent night".
Knock Knock Jokes
Equal parts corny and comical, knock knock jokes are bound to get some laughs at your Christmas party and after pulling your Christmas cracker. These are classic and kids love 'em so give them a try.
89. Knock Knock! Who's there? Snow! Snow who? Snow business like show business!
90. Knock Knock! Who's there? Pizza! Pizza who? Pizza on earth and good will toward men.
91. Knock Knock! Who's there? Dexter! Dexter who? Dexter halls with boughs of holly!
92. Knock Knock! Who's there? Pudding! Pudding who? Pudding in your face!
93. Knock Knock! Who's there? Holly! Holly who? Holly-days are here!
94. Knock Knock! Who's there? Noah! Noah who? Noah good Christmas joke?
95. Knock Knock! Who's there? Ivana! Ivana who? Ivana wish you a merry Christmas!
96. Knock Knock! Who's there? Howard! Howard who? Howard you like to be standing out here in the freezing cold whilst you ask "who's there?"
97. Knock Knock! Who's there? Yule! Yule who? Yule know if you open the door!
98. Knock Knock! Who's there? Santa! Santa who? Wait, why am I at the door I should be coming down the chimney!
99. Knock Knock! Who's there? Reindeer! Reindeer who? It's like rain, deer!
100. Knock Knock! Who's there? Hannah! Hannah who? Hannah partridge in a pear tree!
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Sources
https://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/uk-news/100-best-christmas-cracker-jokes-25684539
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Bachelor's degree specializing in Economics, Master's degree specializing in Development Management
Danielle OutenBachelor's degree specializing in Economics, Master's degree specializing in Development Management
Growing up in London, Danielle has a Bachelor's degree in Economics from the University of Southampton and a Master's degree in Development Management from the London School of Economics and Political Science (LSE). She has always been surrounded by a big family and loves outdoor activities and adventurous experiences. She has traveled the world in search of new waves to surf. Danielle enjoys discovering new and fun activities to share with her relatives.
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A Modern Languages graduate from the University College London, Monisha with a passion for travel and exploring different cultures. She is fluent in French and Spanish and is currently learning Hindi. Monisha enjoys discovering new foods and is an avid sports fan, following soccer and Formula 1. In her spare time, she enjoys playing tennis and watching TV shows.
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